CHAPTER TWO

June 3, 2006

SM Entertainment

Apgujeong-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul

"I don't know if I can still do this." BoA pats my back as I hold my face up to stop my tears from falling.

I've been doing my training at SM Entertainment for the past 2 years. In my first year, I traveled back and forth from Jeonju to Seoul so that I could participate in training sessions. It's hard and tiring. But what can I do? This is what my heart wants and besides, I'm only good at singing. This is where I should be.

"Taeyeon, you have a powerful voice. You just have to believe in yourself. " She said, "And I know you're tired, but it's normal."

I shook my head. Tired is an understatement. I feel very exhausted, physically and mentally. "I've been practicing this song since yesterday, Unnie."

"I know and you did well. You're doing well, Taeyeon. "

"But, I saw Teacher Lee shaking his head during my performance." I silently cried, "It wasn't enough. I'm not enough, Unnie. "

"Taeyeon, you wouldn't be here if you were not doing well. I'm sure Teacher Lee is very proud of you. He's just like that, you know, silent and low-key, but deep inside, he's always rooting for us. He wants the best for his children. He will push you to be the best version of yourself. It may be hard, but I'm telling you, it will all be worth it. " She said. "All of us here are away from our own homes, Taengo, but it doesn't mean that we are alone. We are a family here, and Teacher Lee is our father. You have us."

BoA, an idol for 6 years, hugs me while caressing my hair. I'm still crying, but it's not because of my worries anymore. It's the comforting words of Unnie that make me tear up. The assurance that I am not alone on this journey. Aside from my family back in Jeonju, there are people here who are looking out for me as well.

I've always dreamt of becoming a singer since I was 5. I grew up staring at my Mom's winning trophies from different singing competitions. My Dad's musically inclined too, as he was a former band vocalist when he was in college. Singing is for me. It is my destiny. I can't see myself doing other things rather than singing. I have to believe in myself. It's just a depressive phase, and I know I can get through this with the help of my family and friends.

I can get through this!

I keep on repeating it to myself while walking down the street in Apgujeong-dong. It’s already past 9 in the evening. Our dorm is located on Cheongdam-dong Street, just a few minutes from where I am. Today was a long day. I'm already sleepy, but I don't want to go back to our dorm yet. I wish I could go home to Jeonju, even just for tonight, but I know that it's impossible. 

"Damn, I'm so hungry! " A guy in baggy clothes, just about my age, howls to his friend. They are walking in front of me, probably a meter away.

"We have to lose weight, Ji." The other one laughs.

"Lose weight? We're damn skinny, dude. " He replied.

I couldn't help but agree. They are indeed skinny.

The other guy laughed too, "Well, that's just my excuse. We're broke, Ji. I'll probably just sleep on an empty stomach. "

"Well, you've got a point there." The other guy, whose name I think is Ji, nodded his head. "But that boy earlier was much more skinny. Don't you think so? What was his name again? Seungri? The one who trained for only 10 months? "

"10 months?"

"That's what I heard." Ji said.

"How about the others?"

"Both for a year."

"I see. That Seunghyun seems okay, Ji.

I walked behind them so I could hear them. I don't gossip, but I got curious when I heard them talking about training. What kind of training were they doing? 

"I don't know. I'm still kind of pissed. This is not what they promised us. " Ji jumped in frustration, a little too strongly, which made his wallet fall on the ground. He did not notice it.

I picked up his black old wallet and stared at it for a while. No, I don't have the plan to steal it. I just don't know how to approach him. I watched them walk. They’re a bit far now. I opened his wallet and, to my amusement, it was empty. Like, really empty.

I chuckled. "Hmm, so they're not joking when they said that they are broke. What's the use of a wallet when you don't have money? "

Before I could even think about it, I yelled at them to get their attention. "Excuse me!"

They both turned their heads to me, both confused which made me feel shy.

"U-uh... Y-you dropped... y-your wallet. "

A few minutes passed, but neither one of them