Let Me Love You

The Last Dance

Hello there again! I have finished my another story called let me love you~ Inspired by the song junggigo x chanyeol let me love you collaboration.
And warning! Its filled with fluff and romance.Please do comment,suscribe and upvote this story~ I would totally appreciate it! Just click the poster below and you can read it~  Tbh,I wrote this fanfic first and then the last dance but I decide to update the last dance bcs its for a oneshot contest



When he stood beside her,he knows that he is already falling hard for her.
“You’re so small” he accidentally murmured next to her that makes her look up to him and gasp.
“H-hey! I’m not small.You’re just too tall!” she whined and pouts.
Oh god,help me.

“When I first saw you, I knew
That some day, we’d run into each other like this again
Whenever I get a chance, I miss you
So I even cancelled plans in my busy weekend
You’re different from other girls
Although I’m sure you’re sick of hearing
That you’re special because you heard it so much
Don’t think of this lightly
Because I’m serious right now”

Her favourite drink is strawberry milk and I got her a curry bun but asdfghjkl how am I going to give it to her?
Someone suddenly hit me and I flinched."Oh my god I'm so sorry!" a girl said that.Wait that voice! I turned around to see and its her! ah is this fate?

“Don’t contemplate anymore and pick me
When you open your eyes in the morning
I’ll be next to you
On sleepless nights
I’ll hold you tight
Just let me love you
You just need to slightly nod now”

"I like you stupid! That's why I walk away because I was jealous!" he said.
"I like you too! I was upset because you weren't there for me!" she said.

“These days, whatever I do
I fall into thoughts of you
I can’t concentrate
Even if my days are long and boring
When I hear your voice
Everything becomes okay
Don’t be in a hurry to say
That I won’t be different from other guys
Slowly watch over me
Don’t think of this lightly
Because I’m serious right now”

"Let me love you~" he said.
She just laughed and shakes her head.

Yup,I’m in love
 

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x169618x #1
Chapter 1: The moment when jongin started coughing blood, i was like 'no no no no please no. Don't let him sick' and boom! He got cancer :( asdfghjkl and the moment when they waltzed together for the last time :(:( it's so sad:(
vanillasushi #2
Chapter 1: This was kind of sad... The moment he started coughing and getting sick, I was just "no... cancer is not the reason, it's not..." but it is... I read another entry where Jongin had cancer too and I'm just T___T why!!!!!!!!! The last part though,, made my heart clench so hard...

I really like how you managed to pull off the centre alignment while writing this one shot... I've always thought it would be hard to do since I could never pull it off. So kudos on that! Your grammar was a little off though, like sometimes it's in past tense and the next moment it's in present. It irked me a little but that didn't mean I have problems reading or understanding your one-shot! Also, I think you might want to work on the paragraphing, because it is hard to read when you clump all your dialogues in one paragraph. So what writers normally do, is giving a new paragraph to a new dialogue, I'll give you an example...

"You told me that last time," I rolled my eyes.

"I know," he sniggered. "I'm telling you again."

Something like that. Because otherwise it gets confusing to read and makes the paragraph a little too dense. Oh, and also! it's "sunbaenim" not "subaenim"... But I highly recommend you not to use romanised Korean, especially if they're words you don't know or words that you're unsure of. Other that that, I don't think there is anything else for me to critique on!

Thank you so much for joining Blossom Roads! I hope this will motivate you to write more and to improve because it is always nice to see writers improving the more they write! Good luck on your future works!

xoxo
Queentrelle-- #3
Chapter 1: Aw, truly bittersweet! I can feel how hard life must been for Jongin. The part where the girl came into his life is kind of really short I wish you could've written more about their progress, their relationship but I understand about school, ugh f school. Haha kidding. The girl is so funny with what she said about her height but I don't know, is she nineteen really? Haha, sometimes it's confusing but who am I to judge? (Like duh I don't even know how I can write something readable in a guy's pov) And oh, the angst :(

congratulations! Fighting for your next stories!
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