​​​Hello guys! Back at it again with a new chapter 😁 Anyways, I'd like to thank all of you that have read the previous chapter. I'm still surprised on how people still want to read this lame story 😆 I didn't think that people would actually like what I wrote but either way thank you guys for reading and giving me feedbacks I highly enjoy reading you guy's comments ☺️ Nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter 😁 Btw stay healthy and keep safe guys ☺️ also happy birthday to Yeri's mom, Bae Joohyun ☺️

Pain, sadness, and all the negative feelings that’s all what I've been feeling ever since that night. That night where I felt the most pathetic. Where I felt the most foolish, and where everything became clear that I was nothing but just a toy to someone. Someone whom I couldn't feel things for, but did. Someone whom I shouldn't want but I did. Someone whom I shouldn't love, but I did. There was never a night that I didn't cry myself to sleep. There was never a day that I smiled. There was never a day that I enjoyed living. Every day for me ever since that night was hell. I live in pain and drown in sadness every day after what happened that night. I barely eat, barely smile, and most importantly, I felt no happiness.

My heart hurts, everything hurts. I bet he's happy now that he's done this to me. It was his motives anyway right? What a jerk. I hate him for doing this to me when I did nothing wrong but love him. I hate him for tricking me. I hate him for making me feel so stupid falling for him when I barely knew him. But, I hate myself more for falling for someone when I know I shouldn't, still, I did, because I ignored everything and listened to my heart. I went behind the person who actually loves me, just to be with Seulgi, because I listened to my heart. I told Seulgi that I love him instead of telling Bogum that because my heart told me to.

I shouldn't continue with Seulgi, I should's put a stop to us ever since the first time we met each other. I shouldn't have given into his ministrations. I should've just stopped, then I wouldn't be in pain like this. I wouldn't have to feel so stupid and pathetic like this. This would never happen if I didn't listen to my heart, but I didn't. I listened to it, and there I am, hurting and crying like this. Such a mess my heart has created and I'm the one who has to suffer. Joy, Yeri, and Jieun have been trying to cheer me up, but nothing worked. Nothing can erase the fact and pain caused by that night. I want to cheer up, I want to forget, but I couldn't.

The memories are still there. I must've loved Seulgi that much to be unable to forget about him. I kept thinking about the times we spent together, how happy we were, but I guess I was the only one enjoying it. I guess those words he said to me were lies as well. He never loved me, how blind could I be? I guess love really does make people blind, so blind that I did all the wrong things to Bogum. They even say you would do things for love, even extreme things just for love. Yeah, the things I did for love, horrible things. Maybe this is what I deserve, for cheating on Bogum. Maybe I deserve to be hurt like this, to be living every day in pain like this. Maybe everything that happened that night was a punishment for me. If that's really my punishment, then the heavens above are very ruthless. I know the girls are hurting to see me like this, even I hate waking up and seeing how much of a mess I am, because of this.

All of this happened, because of my imbecilic heart. It just to fall and love someone who isn't Bogum, the person whom I should've loved, but didn't. I bet Seulgi is living just fine after what he did to me. He's probably looking for another one to trick and do the same thing he did to me and the past women who were though this absurd scheme. Now that we have nothing to do with each other, I hope that other girls won't fall into his devilish plan and suffer like me. The one who should suffer is him, and only him. What a horrible person. I hope I don't have to see him ever again. I hope we never meet again.

"Unnie , what are you thinking about? " Jieun's voice brings me back from my thoughts.

"Nothing." I murmur and Jieun places a hand on my shoulder.

"Unnie, you know I hate seeing you like this. I know how hurt you were and still are now. But, trust me that everything will heal over time. " Jieun gives one an encouraging smile. I try to give her back, but I just can't. There's no happiness inside of me. "Should we go out tonight unnie? with Joy and Yeri also?"

"Thanks, Jieun-ah, but I just want to stay home."

"Ok unnie, but feel free to call the three of us if you want to, We'll always be here for you." Jieun smiles again and I just give her a sad smile.

We then prepare for the customers to arrive. I usually come to work with great enthusiasm, but there's isn't anymore. Everywhere I go and everything I do, there's pain and sadness. I feel down all the time, I don't enjoy doing anything. I try my but to smile whenever the customers arrive, but it feels so fake.

"Miss? " A male customer calls me.

"Is there anything I can help you with, sir?"

"It's a shame to be this beautiful and not smile miss. Whatever's hurting or bothering you smile over it. Smile, even though it's hurting. You have a wonderful day miss." The customer smiles then leaves.

How did he know that I'm hurting? My face must've shown it clearly. Maybe he's right, maybe I should smile even though it's hurting. I take in his advice and try to smile with feelings. It's hard, but I have to try. I have to get over that jerk. I can't let what happened that night make me a lifeless person. I must forget about him and move on. I'm still engaged to Bogum, that's what I should focus on. Not some jerk who played with my feelings, I should focus on my future with Bogum.

XXXXX

Lunchtime rolls around and Jieun and I are sitting across of Joy and Yeri. This decided to show up without even saying anything first, totally surprising Jieun and I. But, they were nice enough to surprise us with food. The other three are happily enjoying their meal, while I just pick at it. I don't have an appetite for anything, maybe that's why I've been feeling sick and throwing up all the time. I know I should forget and move on, I've been trying, but it's just so difficult to do so. I loved Seulgi that much to let him have this much effect on me. He made me like this, he made me feel dead inside. He made me believe that I was the stupidest person ever, and he made me believe that I deserve this punishment for going behind Bogum's back and falling in love with him instead. I still can't get over the fact of how dumb I was. I can't believe myself, loving someone whom I barely knew instead of someone who clearly would want to make in happy and feel loved for the rest of my life. Appearances are deceiving and personalities are also deceiving.

"Unnie, you okay? Is the food not good? " I hear Joy ask.

"No, It's good, but I'm just not hungry." I give her a weak smile.

"Unnie, you really should eat something. I heard from Jieun unnie that you're not feeling well." Yeri says and all of them give me this worried expression on their faces.

"Thank you for worrying about me, but I'm fine. I'll take care of myself. I promise." I give them a reassuring smile but they don't seem to buy it. "I'm serious guys, I'll be okay." Yes, I'll be okay. I smile at them more sincerely.

"Ok unnie. But, if you need any of us, just call. We'll always be there for you unnie. "Joy says, and Yeri and Jieun nod.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it."

"No problem, unnie. The three of us will always your back." They all beam and I try to copy them, but still, I couldn't. I'm still hurting.

"Come on unnie, eat up. You need energy. " Jieun says, and I try to. I could finish only a quarter of my plate; I can't eat anymore.

I don't have the appetite for it. If it's possible, I would probably not eat anything at all. I can't eat if I'm not in the mood to. I'm actually not in the mood to do anything for the past two weeks. I just want to stay home and lay in bed all day. I just want to be alone. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want people what a mess, I've become. I simply feel pathetic, the most pathetic I've was felt in my whole entire life. And the most betrayed I've ever felt. I still can't believe how can someone that I sincerely loved do such things to me.

I haven't done anything wrong but gave them my whole heart. I guess love just isn't enough to change someone, and I'd thought that love was the most powerful thing in this world. Then, I realize that this is real life and not some kind of cheesy fairy tale. Love isn't enough for some people, they want more. I thought that when I get to the age where I'm ready to love, I would fall in love with someone who would value love like me. But, in reality, I fell in love with someone who wanted nothing to do with love and anything that has to do with it. Who despises the word more than anything in the world. 

That makes me want to laugh. Isn’t it unfortunate to have fallen in love with someone who thought that love was pointless, overrated, and just a waste of time? Also, isn't it sad to think that spending time with that person, you would change their views on love, but sadly, their views remain the same? Isn't it painful to give all of your heart to that person, because you'd thought that they would be able to reciprocate your feelings, but in the end, they played with your feelings instead?

The answers to all of these are yes. Yes, it is unfortunate to have fallen in love with Seulgi, who thought like that and is most likely still thinks like that. Yes, it is sad to think that spending so much time with Seulgi would actually change his perspective on love, but no. It still remains the same. And yes it was painful to give Seulgi all of my heart and got it broken in the end by him. It was very painful. The most painful. After lunch, we all clean up our mess and Joy and Yeri decide to stay a little longer.

"You guys can actually go now. I don't want you guys to have any problems with your boss. " I tell both of them.

"No worries unnie; we're cool with our boss, right Yeri?" Joy nudges Yeri.

"Yea, that's right. We're very cool with our boss. " They both beam, and I just shake my head at them. I go back to wiping the table and for a second, I start to feel light-headed.

"Unnie, are you okay? "I hear Jieun asks. She places her hand on my shoulder. "

"Yea, I'm fine. " she looks worried, I insist that I'm okay. I then walk back to the kitchen, but as I walk I start to feel myself shutting down and eventually, my name was the last thing I heard before I face darkness.

XXXXX

I wake with a pounding headache. I slowly sit up to look at my surroundings. It looks to be a hospital room. What am I doing here? I only fainted, didn't I ? I massage my temples to calm down the pain. The door opens, revealing Joy, Yeri, and Jieun…

"Unnie, how are you feeling? " Joy worriedly asks.

"Just a headache. I’m fine, and you guys didn't have to take me to the hospital. "

"Unnie, you had no idea how shocked we were to see you faint like that. "Yeri says.

" Thank you, but I'm okay now. " I give them a small smile. There's a knock on the door and we all turn our attention to it. A nurse appears along with a doctor.

"Hello, Ms. Bae. How are you feeling? "The doctor greets me with a soft smile.

"Just a headache doctor."

"Very well. I'll just check your pulse for a moment. " The doctor moves wide for the nurse to check my pulse. The doctor then places the stethoscope on my chest, "your pulse rate seems to be a little better now, but it's still considered low. I'd like to run a test on you if you don't mind." The nurse passes a small collecting tube to him and he hands it to me. "A urine sample tube, Ms. Bae. It would only take about twenty minutes for the result. "I nod then slowly get out of bed with help from the girls.

What test does the doctor want to run on me? Am I that sick? A urine sample tube? Why would the doctor need that? I know the one time doctors would need that is to test for pregnancy Wait, Wait, no way.. I can't be. Pregnancy. No, that can't happen. No...  I can't be pregnant, I'm just sick. Not pregnant, only sick. After I'm done, the girls support me to the nurse. I proceed to give the nurse the test. She gestures us to sit and wait. I sit and wait with anxiety, No, I'm not pregnant. Please. I can't be pregnant. I'm not pregnant. I clasp my hands together, praying for it not to be true. The girls reach out to hold my hands.

"Unnie, you seem nervous. Don't worry, unnie. What was the result might be, we'll always be here for you." Joy says and the others nod along. I thank them and continue waiting. After waiting for minutes, the nurse tells us to go in. I stand up and take a deep breath before entering. The doctor tells me to sit down, while the girls are behind supporting me.

"You seem nervous Ms. Bae." Because I am. "Before I tell you the result, I just have a question to ask. " I nod. "Have you been eating properly Ms. Bae?" 

"No, doctor."

"Very well Ms. Bae. You must eat Ms. Bae, you're not alone anymore." The doctor smiles softly, while I furrow my brows.

"What do you mean by I'm not alone? "I nervously ask and the doctor just smiles. "Congratulations, Ms. Bae. The test came out positive, you are pregnant."

My eyes widen at his words. I could hear light gaps from the girls. Pregnant? I'm pregnant? My world came crumbling down upon hearing the result. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. No, No, this can't be happening. I can't be a mother yet; I'm not ready. I can't be carrying a baby now. I can't. Most importantly, I'm carrying Seulgi's child. No, this is not happening.

"Ms. Bae, are you okay? You seem pale. Would you like some water? The doctor asks, and I shake my head.

"How far along am I, doctor? "

"I'd say about five-six weeks, but to be very sure, we have to run an ultrasound." 

"Ok, doctor."

"Alright Ms. Bae, we'll get you to bed." The doctor gestures the bed behind him, and the nurse helps me to it. I slowly get up onto the bed, the nurse then starts to roll up my shirt exposing a part of my belly. The doctor proceeds to put gel on my skin, making me flinch at the cool substance. He places the stick