“Woohyun, did you see her?” He knew what the answer was already, but he just had to ask.

“Sorry, man. I looked everywhere, but she wasn’t there. Maybe it’s time you move on. It’s already been over a month and a half.” Woohyun brought up the subject carefully. The truth was Woohyun saw her with her friends at the party, but he didn’t have the heart to tell Dongwoo.

Yes. Dongwoo had been looking and searching for her for 47 days now. (He was counting.) At first, he was worried. Worried that something happened to her and couldn’t get in contact with him. Slowly, he realized that she had left him for good. She didn’t leave him a note or anything to indicate why she disappeared, but he was determined to find out the reason behind her spontaneous actions.

“I can’t.” Dongwoo was deprived of sleep. He barely ate, and if he did eat, it would be a bowl of cereal at most. He missed most of his classes. The light in his eyes were gone. Hoya and Woohyun could barely get him to leave his room, nonetheless leave the house. He never laughed anymore. (He lost his reason to laugh.)

“It hurts to see you like this. Please. Dongwoo, come back to us.” Woohyun pulled Dongwoo into a hug. Dongwoo didn’t have energy to wrap his arms around his friend or push him away. Hoya, who was standing close behind, could only look on with sympathetic eyes. When Woohyun finally let Dongwoo go, Dongwoo mumbled something about being tired and went to his room. He pulled out a diary from a shelf, sat down at his desk, and started writing.

Day 47. You’re not at my sideright now. Even my rain of tears has stopped.My hands that used to fit so well with yours,they’re above my knees now.I pray every night.I don’t want to believe intomorrowbecause I will still live in a pretend worldin which you will come back tomorrow.

Dongwoo put the diary back where it belonged, which was on the shelf hiding behind his huge textbooks from school. “Ah. School. I should go back someday,” he thought to himself. He left his room and saw Hoya sitting on the couch watching Running Man. He went and sat down next to him, hoping his favorite show would cheer him up a little.

“Woohyun, Running Man’s on,” Dongwoo called, knowing Woohyun was a big fan of Yoo Jaesuk. When he got no response, he turned to Hoya who pointed at the door and told him that Woohyun left to go to the convenience store. “Oh, good timing. I needed something. Do you have your phone with you?” Hoya nodded and passed Dongwoo his cellphone.

Dongwoo always had a habit of calling people on speakerphone, so Hoya lowered the volume for him.

“Hello?” Woohyun answered. He sounded slightly out of breath.

“Can you get some cereal? And milk? We’re running low.”

“Ow. Wait, what? Oh, cereal. Yeah sure.”

Dongwoo and Hoya heard a female voice, which sounded so familiar, call out to Woohyun from the other line. Before Dongwoo could react Woohyun quickly said he had to go and hung up.

Dongwoo stared suspiciously at the phone and then at Hoya, who shrugged and turned his attention to the program.

“Didn’t that sound a lot like her? That was her right? Is she with Woohyun? What are they doing together? Where are they?” Dongwoo was walking to his room ready to get a jacket and find Woohyun.

Hoya followed Dongwoo and tried to prevent him from leaving the house. “I don’t think that was her. It sounded similar, but a lot of girls sound the same. Dongwoo! Calm down!” By then, Hoya had grabbed Dongwoo’s arm, pulling him away from the door. “Dongwoo! I’m sure it’s nothing like that.”

Dongwoo finally calmed down. Instead of walking back to the room, he sank to the floor, grabbing his legs close to his chest. “It sounded just like her…”

Hoya sat next to him. “I know. I know it did.” He let Dongwoo lean his head on his shoulder. After a few minutes, Hoya felt warm liquid seeping through the sleeve of his shirt. He turned his head at an angle to take a look at Dongwoo’s face, and he saw his best friend had fallen asleep crying. They were like that until Woohyun came home, and together they got Dongwoo to his bed. Once they were in the living room, Hoya stopped Woohyun, who was about to take get ready to take a shower.

“Who were you with?” Hoya asked.

Woohyun looked startled at the sudden question. “A friend. Why?”

“You didn’t go to the convenience store, did you?”

“Yes, I did. I told you I was going to the store.”

“Then where’s the cereal and milk?”

“I- I forgot.”

“Why are you lying to me, Woohyun? What are you hiding? We’ve never hidden anything from each before.”

“Can you keep a secret? You have to swear on your life you won’t tell.”

“I promise. I swear.”

Woohyun lowered his voice, just in case Dongwoo was listening. “I went to the convenience store like I said, but I saw her walking by. Dongwoo called just after I ran after her and caught a hold of her. She could tell it was Dongwoo and told me to hurry and hang up, so I did. Then she kicked me in the shin and ran away. Just like that.”

“You almost had her. You just let her go like that?”

“I tried to chase after her, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. I know, it’s all my fault. But I tried. Just don’t tell Dongwoo. He would be so upset.”

“Fine.” And with that, Woohyun went to shower and Hoya went to his room to sleep. Hoya couldn’t believe Woohyun just let her slip through his fingers. From the way Dongwoo was, this was a life or death situation. “Don’t blame Woohyun, Lee Hoya. It’s not like you’re doing any better.”

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Day 53. Are you smiling? Isn’t this what you wanted for? Isn’t this what you hoped for? I don’t know about you, but I can’t seem to move on with you in my heart.

---//---

Woohyun was out of the house more frequently than ever. Hoya stayed home most of the days and brought back notes and homework from his classes to pass on to Dongwoo, who was slowly brightening up. Day by day, Dongwoo started moving on. He realized he couldn’t live locked up in his house forever. He went jogging with Hoya in the mornings, and he would go to the classes she didn’t have with him even though he knew she was not attending school anyways, so they would never meet at school.

“Woohyun’s out again? Where is he going these days? He’s barely home, and even when he is he’s either sleeping or packing food for someone,” Dongwoo asked. Hoya and him were sitting on the couch watching I am a Singer (나는가수다).

“He said he was going to a study date or something.”

“Woohyun? Study date? Are you sure you heard correctly?”

“That’s what he said. He looked like he was in a rush, so I didn’t get to question him.”

“I’m sure he has his reasons.” For the next hour or so, the house was filled with the sound of the melodic voices of some of Korea’s best singers and Hoya and Dongwoo’s argument over who they think will be 1^st and last place that round.

Just as third place was being announced, Dongwoo’s phone rang. He looked at the caller and saw that it was his dad, who rarely called unless it was an emergency. He quickly picked up. “Hello? Dad? Wait, what? Mom… Okay got it.” And in less than five minutes, him and Hoya were out the door on their way to the hospital. 

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Hello! I updated a little earlier this week because I am taking the SAT this Saturday and I am most likely going to celebrate all weekend for being (hopefully) done with the SATs. Clarification: the first diary entry is from "Wings" and the second diary entry is from "Can U Smile" but I changed up the second lyrics around a wee bit. (: Comments make me super happy so be sure to comment!!