October 22^nd, 2011

 

When Taemin kissed his best friend for a third time, it was to him like fire and blood. And he had yet to make himself believe:

“Do we need milk?”, Soojin asked her mother, strolling through the supermarket just behind her. 
“Yes, dear”, her mother replied, pushing the cart forward. “Be so kind and get us some.” 
“Of course”, she said. She turned around to walk to the right shelve when her mother called after her. “Please hurry, though. We still have to go to Lowe’s. We need more cartons and tape for you!” 
“Alright”, she sung and went to get the milk.

It was only ten minutes later that they were done with the groceries. Her mother unlocked the car while Soojin carried the full paper bag. She couldn’t recall when they’ve ever left the supermarket after only fifteen minutes.

“Why exactly did we buy so many things? We never dothat at once.” 
“Because we’re having company today”, her mother replied. Soojin placed the bag in the trunk and got in the car just before her mother started the engine. 
“Oh! Who’s coming?” 
“Friends.” 
“Friends…”, she repeated. “Whose friends?” 
“Just friends”, she said firmly. 
“Okay then. Be mysterious about it if you must.”

On their way home Soojin’s mother spoke no word, which was very unusual for her talkative parent. Soojin shrugged it off eventually. 
Arriving in the suburban Soojin helped her mother unpack the groceries. 
“I thought we were going to Lowe’s”, she said. 
“Yes, well”, her mother said, “another time.”

Soojin stopped in her tracks. “But you said so at the supermarket.” 
“I know what I said, sweetheart.” 
This time, Soojin couldn’t just shrug it off. 
“What’s going on?” She scrunched her forehead in a mere of seconds. Something wasn’t right.

Her mother, though, sighed out in relief when the doorbell rang. She turned around to Soojin, having just tried to prevent looking at her, and smiled widely. “I’ll get the door”, she exclaimed hurriedly.

Soojin continued unpacking. But it wasn’t for long as her mother had returned rather quickly. 
“Soojin, sweetheart”, she said. “Our company arrived.” 
Being the polite daughter she was, she immediately turned around, about to greet her mother’s friends who held her hand to gesture to the three very young men standing right next to her.

But it weren’t her mother’s axquaintances who smiled at Soojin and it wasn’t her mother’s friends standing just there: in the middle of their kitchen. Their home. Across the sea.

Soojin’s stomach turned and made a flip like one hundred jumping sheep were hopping inside other.

He was taller than he used to. His hair was blond and his body manlier. Yet he was as young and handsome as ever. Except, before this very second, she had never thought of him of being handsome.

Lee Taemin looked at Soojin with a crooked smile from underneath his fringe. 
“Don’t you want to say hello to him?”, her mother chuckled.  But Soojin remained frozen in place. It had been five years. Five years and all of sudden he stood there, right in the middle of her kitchen. Across the sea.

It was only when she felt hot tears on her cheeks that she noticed she had held her breath. She let out a harsh sob, ran towards him and slung her arms around his neck. She had never loved to feel the warmth of his body as much as right now. Taemin engulfed her in a tight hug, as tight as he could possibly manage to grasp onto her without breaking her to pieces.

 

 

October 22^nd, 2011

 

When Taemin kissed his best friend for a third time, it was to him like a precious gift. And they so happened to share more than a touch of lips:

The same three young man were seated on the table, along with Soojin. She hadn’t taken off her eyes of Taemin for the past five minutes. 
“I don’t think my brain understands that you’re here”, Soojin said. 
Jonghyun, one of the two accompanying Taemin, chuckled loudly while the third one, Kibum, tsked at her. “Now I understand why Mom bought so much food.” Soojin nodded at the feast her mother has prepared. 
“It tasts good by the way”, Kibum said.

Soojin nodded thankfully and proceeded talking. “However, I still don’t understand why you’re here. All of you.” 
“There is a concert of all of our companies artists at Madison Square Garden tonight”, Taemin explained. 
Soojin nipped at her orange juice. “Is there?”, she asked. “How come I don’t know about it?” 
“I asked your mother to help keep you oblivious.” Taemin grinned mischievously. His plan had worked.

Then, Soojin asked the question she feared the most. “When will you go back?” 
Taemin hesitated. “Tomorrow.” 
Soojin sighed. “I figured it wouldn’t be for long.” 
Taemin shook his head. “Sadly not. But”, he said, “I do have a present for you.” 
“A present?”, she asked in disbelieve. The last time he had given her a present – the cake to her twelfth birthday – it turned out to be a disaster. No matter how much his mom had helped him made it.

“Here”, he snickered at her remark, handing her a little band with a card dangling from it. It was a VIP ticket to the SM Town concert in New York.

 

That same day and hours of trying on outfits later, Soojin showed the staff her pass and was let in, walking through the corridors. She was passing by closed rooms with the signs of Girls’ Generation, Kangta, BoA and f(x) before she found the letters SHINee on a bit of paper taped to the door.

Surprisingly, the door was open. She stepped in not long after and was greeted by a grinning Jonghyun, who quickly came to hug her. 
“Oh okay, you’re a hugger”, she laughed, although she happily returned that gesture. 
“Hugger, skinship lover, you name it”, Jonghyun smirked. “Taemin is in the chair in the back”, he announced then, “he’s getting his make-up done.” 
“Thanks”, she said, waltzing over to said chair.

Once Taemin spotted her coming over, he smiled at her. 
“You made it!” 
“Of course I did, silly”, she said. “May I?”, she proceeded to ask a staff member, pointing to the nearest chair. 
She was nodded at so she sat down. 
“Okay, you have to introduce me to BoA later. No exceptions.” 

“Sooji”, he huffed, “isn’t it enough you get to see me?” 
“Sooji? You’re still calling me by that nickname?” She shook her head, cackling. 
“I do prefer Soo, but yes, I am. Diversity is a strong game nowadays.”

Soojin laughed. “You know, one day I’ll have another nickname for you than Taemiri.” 
“Good”, he said, “I’m not particularly fond of it anyway.” 
“I am”, Soojin announced. “I like it very much.” 
“Well then”, he snickered, “proceed to call me that.” 
“Will do!”

 

It was only during the concert when Soojin remembered the good news she had all forgotten about telling her best friend after his arrival. Taemin wasn’t to go back on stage for another fourty minutes or so for the last two performances of SHINee on that particular evening so they both sat in SHINee’s dressing room. Quite alone at that, as Jinki was just on stage for a solo, Jonghyun had dragged Kibum to the food where staff members likey where as well and Minho was somewhere with his girlfiend Yuri. If it wasn’t for Taemin, Soojin would have never known about their secret relationship to begin with. But, after all this time, it was a nice feeling to finally know what the insights felt like.

Following her straw of thoughts no more Soojin exclaimed she had a little bit of a secret to tell. 
Although, it wasn’t exactly a secret. 
“What is it?”, Taemin asked after her announcement, looking into her smiling face. 
“Well”, she grinned, “as of a little over two weeks ago, I have been accepted into YG Entertainment at the open auditions. I’ll be moving to Korea on January 3^rd!”

She looked at him expectantly. Taemin didn’t fail to give her the response she had hoped for. His mouth was wide agape and his eyes smiled that smile that spoke of love and excitement. 
“Really?”, he asked, just to make sure. 
“Yes, silly”, she chuckled.

There was no more to say. Taemin took her in his embrace, hugging her tight, crushing their bodies together in one. She breathed out in surprise, her face squisched to his chest.

Suddenly, he kissed the top of her haid. “You can’t imagine how happy I am!” 
“Likewise”, she said, trying to break free. “Speaking of moving”, she said, her voice suddenly less excited. Nervousness crept into the tone of her voice instead. “There was something I was going to ask you once I moved back to Seoul.”

Taemin saw the change in her eyes. “Which is?” 
“Well”, she hesitated. “I was going to ask you for… a favor.” Soojin tried swallowing the lump in . When had it become so difficult to talk all of sudden?

“So, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. So many girls in school say that they regret having their first time with a boy and to be honest I don’t want the same happening to me. Besides, I’m already seventeen. I don’t want it to be with just anyone but with someone I love and trust and there is only one that fits, which is you of course, You’re my best friend so-“ 
“Are you asking me to take your ity?”

Soojin had avoided looking at him. She was starring everywhere but his face. When she heard the sharpness in his voice at his question she dared a look at him. He was displeased, that was for sure. 
“Who else would I ask if not you?” 
“Your boyfriend!”, he yelled. Soojin was taken aback by how loud he got. “If you ask me, if you’re really asking me to have with you, you should love me as your boyfriend.” 
“Why are you getting mad?”
“Are you ing kidding me? You’re asking me to take your ity!” 
“I just…”, Soojin was out of words. 
“Do you need to fit into this country’s society so bad that you feel the need to ask this?” 
Soojin’s mouth opened and closed, opened and closed. 
“You don’t know how they treated me! I was a foreigner for so long until I became like them!” 
“So what? Why don’t you try being you instead of doing literally everything everyone else does? They aren’t you. And what they do does not show you what you need to do too! It’s not difficult to grasp, is it?”

Soojin pursed her lips. “I understand that you think my question is a bit off but you’re being extremely mean. I’m going to go home. I don’t need to keep hearing how much of a failure I am to you. See you in two months, I guess.”

And with that, she left.

It had been only been three hours since their fight. Soojin had become warrant about if it really was an off-putting question to have asked.  But then again, it wasn’t wrong to want to fit in, was it? 
But maybe Taemin was right. Maybe she didn’t have to try so hard and go this far for it.

Nevertheless, she wished the conversation would have gone differently. Taemin would fly back tomorrow and she wouldn’t be able to say a single goodbye or hug him one more time. The good thing was that this time, their farewell would have only been for two months but now that he blew her off like that she figured it could take quite a longer time for their friendship to recover. Because at this very moment it seemed just as fragile to her as to him.

What Soojin didn’t know was that Taemin regretted the way things went as equally, thus he had already made his way to her home. If it wasn’t for her living in a country where he wasn’t particularly familiar with any place, he would have been at her doorstep long ago.

Eventually, and lucky for him because the cold had by now made his fingers go numb, he found the red wooden door to her place.

Soojin, who of course didn’t see it coming, was confused as to who rung her doorbell at this late hour. She opened nonetheless. Had she not, Taemin wouldn’t have had slanted his mouth onto hers at an instant, gripping onto the side of her face with his hands like it was the only way of surviving.

Taemin was quick enough to avoid any questions asked. She barely had the time to look angry or confused. His lips where on hers before there was any time to react. He groaned into the kiss, partially because he was still the slightest bit angry, partially because he liked the way she felt against him.

She responded with a gasp, her eyes fluttering shut immediately. Soojin knew, or could predict for that matter, how angry he must have felt and how hard it was for him to contain a happy smile on stage for the last performances. And she wanted to think that it didn’t matter to her because it was his own fault at getting irrationally mad. But now that he was indeed here – for what reasons she had yet to find out – she felt sorry for him.

His tongue prodded at her lips. Soojin wondered where he had learned to kiss that way because it was nothing like on the day at the lake.

“Running away doesn’t solve any problems”, he mouthed against her lips, once he parted from hers. 
“I-I’m sorry.” 
“Good. You should be.” 
Soojin was about to protest, to ask why he was here then, but Taemin was quicker to speak. 
“You should feel sorry about leaving like that, leaving without watching the concert to its end, without saying goodbye to me, leaving like that just after you ask me this…”

Taemin’s voice was soft. The anger had left and there was nothing Soojin was more glad about at this very second. That was, until she heard the following:

“Where’s your bedroom?”