Flashback

You planned to go to Jinyoung's apartment. But something caught your eye as you were about to enter the building. No, it's more like someone. With someone. 

No. Tell me I'm dreaming. You can feel that your tears start to fall and you can feel that something stings inside you. Damn. Jinyoung. You walked straight to them. And there. . .

*paaaaaak*

You slapped his face. "I can't believe that you did it again." You turned your back on him and walked away. You can hear him calling you. Tsss. You're able to call me but you can't run after me? Tssss. Not a good one. 

End of Flashback

You were about to drink a full shot glass of soju but suddenly a hand snatched it away. "Ya! What the is your probl--" you said as you turned to face the "one" who snatched the glass. "...j-j-jinyoung?" 

He drank the soju and bombarded you with questions. "Why are you here?! Why are you drinking?! Who are you with?! Who told you to drink?!"

"Like you care. Tssss. I'm going. Just go with the girl you're with last night. It seems like you really enjoyed that kiss, huh? Tsss. " You sarcasically said. Jinyoung grabbed your wrist as you were about to walk away. "Let go Jinyoung. Just go with her. I know you really enjoy being with her." You whined. Instead of letting you go, he tightened his grip. 

"What?! Just let me go, Jinyoung! Didn't I tell you to just go with her?! Yaa! Jung Jinyoung. If you want to explain, you don't have to. Look! I'm tired. We're always like this..." You  bit your lower lip to control your tears but your tears betrayed you as they fall continuously from your eyes. "Jinyoung, just tell me if you wanna end our relationship. Tell me if you don't love me anymore. Tell me if you want those girls more. Tell me if you want their kisses more, if you want their hugs more. So I can break up with you. So you'll have the freedom. Please, Jinyoung. Just tell me. I'm really tired."

"I c-can't." Jinyoung loosen his grip and looked down.

"What do you mean, you can't, huh?" You asked him with confusion.

Jinyoung deeply sighed. "I don't want to. And I can't lose you."

"Yeah. 'I can't lose you' I already heard that before. You always say that. Tsss. Can we just stop? I'm really tired." You sobbed.

"Please, no! I really can't live without you." He looked straight to your eyes. And you can see him in pain.

"Lie. How can you say that you can't live without me, when you were able to live before we met?" You turned your back on him so he can't see you cry. 

"It was before. I really love you. I really really do. I'm sorry for what I did."

"You always say sorry. Yet you still do it again and again."

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

"..."

"I promise that what you saw last night wouldn't happen again. And I'm also drunk last night. I'm unconscious that it wasn't you. I thought it was you. I know, I'm such an idiot.  Please. Listen to me. Please forgive me. I really love you. I really really do." Jinyoung hugged you from your back and he burried his face on your shoulder. You both stayed like that for a while without saying any word. You can hear his sobs. And you can feel your shirt's already damp because of his tears.

I don't know what to do. I'm confused. I love him so much. But I'm already tired. We're always like this. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being hurt. Why does he need to be like that? Why? I'm so stupid. I already know that Jinyoung's a playboy before he courted me, yet I still agreed to be her girlfriend. I don't know what made me love him like this inspite of him being a playboy. I don't know what made me stay in this relationship. Aigoo. I know I'm such a martyr. But I don't want to see this Jinyoung beside me. A Jinyoung who cries. A Jinyoung, in pain. I feel so week whenever I see him like this. I always wanna see the cheerful him. But should I give him another chance? Aigooo.