Whatever the hell is going on in my crazy life right now, has nothing on what is going on right in front of my eyes. I mean sure I know fine well that I’m in some kind of hazy dream brought on by the explosion because hell everything is a stark white and the only thing that I can safely say has any actual colour are the two young men sitting on white beds, in a white room, wearing the exact same white clothes and man I feel as if I’m in a void or something of the sorts.

I’ve never taken drugs or anything of the sort so if this is what a trip is like then hell no thanks to that.

But at least I’ve got something to focus on.

Which is strange cause I know both of the figures sitting across from one another.

One of them is Joonmyeon, but he looks different to the last time I saw him. He looks younger, fresh faced though with those heavy set lines of worry that I’m pretty sure are just etched there permanently now. His hair is black as well, short and trimmed in a precise manner by a very good hair stylist but I get the feeling that it’s not for some crazy photoshoot or something like that.

His eyes are still alluring though, such a lovely deep shade of brown though they’re laced with tears currently and it makes me want to kind of step forward and cradle his face. Wipe away the tears and tell him that whatever has made him cry is going to be sorted out and that we’ll be fine.

But I can’t get any closer than I am now. There’s almost an invisible barrier between us and I really think that I’m going insane now.

However, the person on the other bed, who had his back to me, suddenly stands with a sigh and moves across to Joonmyeon, doing exactly what I had wanted to do not a few seconds before but this time it’s accompanied by a soft sigh, “Joonmyeon, you know that you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“I nearly lost him, I nearly lost control,” Joonmyeon says softly, hiccupping with the effort to not start crying again, “How can I protect them if I can’t control this?”

“We’re still learning about this Joonmyeon, we’re going to make mistakes and it hurts I know but you’ve got to stay strong, just for a little while longer,” the figure says and something about the tone of voice hits a cord with me, drawing a deep frown across my face because I know that voice.

Joonmyeon pushes aside the hands that are cradling his face, “That’s easy for you to say! You’ve already mastered yours.”

“Joonmyeon,” the figure says, placing his hands once again back on the others face, “Listen to me. It’s not about mastering this, it’s not even about controlling it. You just have to make them believe and I promise you that we will get them out. All of them.”

“You’ve said that for the last three years,” Joonmyeon’s voice is not accusing, just more exhausted, “How can we even begin? They’re still so young, they shouldn’t be this way…they shouldn’t…”

“I know, I’m working on it,” the figure frowns, “But they’re watching me closer than ever now. They know I’m up to something and they’ll target me first. That’s why I need you to be strong Joonmyeon, even though I know you’re scared. Hell I’m scared. Every time I go to sleep I fear waking up and finding you no longer there…I fear what will happen to the youngsters if we don’t go through with this plan…I’m scared just as much as you are Joonmyeon but we can’t let that fear consume us. If it does, then we have already failed and I’m not going to give up that easily.”

“Lend me your strength, I don’t know how to go on anymore Kris….I really don’t…” Joonmyeon’s got tears in his eyes now properly and the figure moves to sit next to him, pulling him into a tight hug and allowing the smaller man to just cry.

Holy Christ that’s me. I mean the other figure, it’s me but it’s a younger me. I’d guess around the sixteen-year-old mark with that strange long hair phase I went through which looking back was a drastically bad mistake indeed because good god I look like some kind of weird hipster.

But hang on a freaking second, what the hell is all this? I know nothing of this place or this conversation. What the hell are we talking about? I mean…sure there was mission stuff but controlling something? Controlling what? And the others are involved? We had a plan…what, just, hang on a second.

We were a group of singers, we had fangirls and stages and shows and all sorts of mind numbing hours of rehearsals to the point where we practically passed out and then we…there was a crash and…then there was that strange…. then Gibbs turned up and…

Okay, what the hell is going on with my memory?

Looking up I find that I’m standing back on the road that we’ve just torn down, but everything is fixed and looks almost brand new except that Joonmyeon’s standing there in front of me. He’s older now, his worry lines more deep set and he’s in the same white outfit that he was before but his eyes are glowing that strange blue colouring once again.

He smiles faintly, “Hello Yifan.”

“Err Hi?” I say lamely back, cause this situation is not something that I’ve exactly been prepped for in the slightest.

He chuckles in response, “Still the same old Yifan. Hasn’t got a clue until the time is right.”

“I resent that,” I pout back towards him before blinking and shaking my head, “Joonmyeon, what the hell is going on?”

Joonmyeon looks a little uncomfortable, shifting slightly, “Something I don’t think I can quite explain. At least not here, not like this.”

“Try me,” I say, shaking my head, “I’ve already gone through some rather crazy nonsense today so I think I’m ready to roll with whatever you’re going to fire at me.”

“Not yet you’re not,” he smiles once again, breaking my heart almost, “You’ve got to remember first but that’ll only happen as you gather the babies together. Just small fragments that’ll come back and keep on building to form a bigger picture of everything.”

I sigh, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell me outright?”

“No, because you would not believe me. Keep to your side of the deal, Yifan, protect my babies and make sure they stay away from…well you’ll know where to keep them away from,” he smiles sadly again and I really want to run and hug him so badly but I get the feeling that I won’t be able to do so.

“What about you?” I ask, reaching out towards him with a feeling of loneliness in my heart all of a sudden, “What am I supposed to do when I find you again?”

Joonmyeon just smiles at me, almost radiating the sunlight at this point and shakes his head, “Keep your promise. That is all”

He fades from view and I find myself painfully opening my eyes in a room that looks to be some kind of rented little dump. It’s the middle of the night and there’s a very strange smell in the air. Roughly I try to sit upright but there’s a spasm of pain down my arms and I look to see that they’ve been bandaged really heavily.

“I wouldn’t move too much,” a voice says softly next to me as a lean figure appears with a glass of water and a gentle pat to my head, offering a very familiar dimpled smile towards me, “The toxins are still running around your body and it’ll take at least till morning to drive them out.”

I accept the glass of water that’s pressed to my lips and I’m happy to find that it is pure, clear ice water that goes down my throat a treat. “Toxins?” I ask, because this situation is already making me think back to the strange conversation in my dreams.

Yixing nods towards me, lighting a candle to help me to see better, “Yes, the toxin’s in Sehun’s fingernails transferred to you when he was trying to get to Suho. It was a good thing he didn’t scratch your chest area or else it could have gone straight to your heart and killed you.”

My shocked expression must have told the ditzy unicorn everything that he needed to know about my thoughts on that particular set of sentences. He blinked, looking confused before settling down, “You really don’t remember, Daizhyung?”

“No,” I reply, shaking my head, “Suho said I’d remember when we were all together again or something crazy along those lines.”

Yixing blinks slowly in reply, “Oh. I wish I could talk to Suho like you can.”

“Really you don’t want to kiddo,” I reply, turning to look at the ceiling and frowning, “Where’s Cage and the others?”

“Downstairs, we’re in a safehouse currently. Don’t worry, this is one that we’ve used for months and it’s not been traced or anything,” he smiles again before letting out a sigh and tilting his head towards me ever so slightly. “I’m glad to have you back though, Kris, it’s been a long time.”

A long exhale escapes me as I close my eyes, having to resist the urge to reach up and pet the other mainly because my arms are still too sore to do anything. I really don’t know what the hell all of this is leading to but I get the impression that whether or not I want it, I’m going to have to see it through to the end.

I just hope that it makes some sense eventually because I’m already bamboozled.

authors babbling: gah, sorry about the long update guys. Between book launches, long shifts at work, conventions and a sodding virus that has literally had me floored for the last week and a bit I've barely had the time to turn myself around and work on the stuff that I need to sort out. Anyway here's a strange update for you all but don't worry I have plans and hopefully will get back on track with them all. 

Catch you soon neh?