Kyungil ended up watching Yijeong walk away until he turned off onto one of the branching walkways. He was conflicted, secretly hoping Yijeong would look back. In the end, he didn’t, which was probably for the best because Kyungil might have rushed after him and done something regretful.

Ah yes, back to regret, Kyungil thought as he rode the lift to his apartment. It seemed everything in his life revolved around regret and resentment. Yijeong was obviously near the top of that list. However his, for lack of a better word, want for Yijeong overwhelmed any rational feelings. Even if he didn’t currently regret it, it was certain to happen. He regretted the sudden loss of his father and the inevitable loss of his mother; that there was nothing he could do help either of them. Even some days he regretted starting his own jewelry business.

Yes, remorse was the overwhelming motif in his life.

Kyungil shook his head as he approached his door, all he could do was soldier on and hope for some cosmic reward for his poor luck. If Yijeong was supposed to be that reward, then the cosmos is ed up. A prize you can look at but cannot touch.

everything, Kyungil simpered as he placed his index and ring finger on the touch pad outside of his apartment. Keys hadn’t existed for over thirty years, some people still kept them though, as momentous or reminders, keys didn’t unlock anything anymore. Blood did, and only blood.

Yet another way the government kept tabs and control on its citizens. When you buy or rent the government puts a lock on it, meaning the only person who can enter is the people on the lease or their blood relatives. Sure, you could try sneaking someone past the door once it’s unlocked, still, the cameras see everything; and the cameras are plentiful.

The tiny needle popped out from the touch pad, pricking his ring finger and making him cringe. It was a miniscule amount of blood, indiscernible to the eye. The machine registers it, though, which is for the best. Considering the number of times you unlock a door, if it was anything more than DNA, one’s finger would be bruised permanently. While blood is being drawn the machine also runs a fingerprint lock on the forefinger; the whole experience takes less than two seconds. It’s much more effective than a traditional key and lock.

It made so many other things much more difficult.

Kyungil pushed the door open and stepped into the apartment. Like every other building, it was shiny and like new. Everything, everything had a perfect appearance. Even his small studio apartment had an air of elegance with floor to ceiling windows lining one entire wall. The bedroom was set apart with a half floor walkup hanging above the kitchen, dining and living room. It was a very small apartment the majority of which was taken up by a jewelers table. His supplies strewn out across another table from sheets of silver to a handful of gems.

He shrugged off his raincoat, hanging it up on the back of a chair to dry. Right after lunch yesterday it started pouring, endless waves of rain pounding at the glass that continued on into today. Thunder rumbled through the dark sky after a flash of lightning. Somehow it was calming, as if the sound were blanking him from his lonely and empty apartment.

Kyungil pulled off his shirt and suit pants and fell into bed. Even though sleep tugged at him, he wondered how long it would be until he saw Yijeong again. It would be better if they never saw each other again. It would be less painful. They had no future. The faster they could forget, the better.

That playful expression, though, Kyungil grinned into his pillow remembering right before Yijeong walked away. He’d never forget, Yijeong was it for him. Yijeong needed more. Yijeong needed better.

Yijeong needed something possible.

~

Everyone has some prevalent force in their life, even if it is wicked. So, if regret was the theme of Kyungil’s life then Yijeong’s would be disappointment. Things he shouldn’t do. Things he couldn’t do. He was a child and life was all about boundaries up till now. Technically he was an adult now so every decision he made effected him rather than his family which was why Raina was so adamant about his involvement with Kyungil. If you could call it involvement.

Yijeong rolled his eyes as he mindlessly folded garments. Right out of high school, he had no interest in furthering his education. Not that he enjoyed his job, he just disliked school even more.

“Yijeong, can you man one of the registers?”

“You bet,” he answered, dropping the folded pants to get on the register. His sister wanted him to completely understand the risk he was putting himself in and that meant a lot of thinking. Start with the basics, right? Why was he in this whole situation.

Kyungil.

He repeated the name over and over in his head, just the thought made him smile. What did he think of Kyungil? What did Kyungil think of him?

Kyungil was a mystery yet he felt right; gentle and calm but determined. He didn’t push things that needed to be left alone. He took everything in stride, though sometimes a very anxious stride when it came to Yijeong. He was caring and considerate. He was…careful, looking out for Yijeong.

Kyungil was amazing, he was… everything. Yijeong was young but he wasn’t dumb, how he felt towards Kyungil was obvious. Even his sister saw it when all he could talk about was the other man and what little Yijeong knew about him.

When he was seven, he and Jaeho found a puppy and begged to keep it. Sadly, Raina was allergic so Jaeho ended up taking the small bundle of fur. Every chance the two boys got they would take her out to the park so Yijeong could see her. Short of that memory, he never talked about one thing so much.

Kyungil; he liked Kyungil. There was no true basis for these emotions, these feelings he had for a man he knew so little about. He did, though, and he was pretty sure Kyungil liked him back. The way he looked at him sometimes when he thought Yijeong wasn’t paying attention. Sometimes Kyungil would stare at him, his eyes were soft but there was a certain desperation in his gaze.

Nevertheless, love wasn’t enough to conquer laws. Pretty soon they wouldn’t be able to hide it and the guards would pick up on the intent behind their movements. No matter how careful they were, the mechanical beings would sniff it out.

Yijeong shuttered at the thought as he put someone’s purchase in a bag. Losing love before it had even had a chance to bloom was heartbreaking and theirs was already planted. He could already feel it and the thought of Kyungil being ripped from his life made him want to curl up and cry.

He was beginning to understand, still rather than the fear of going to jail or dying, he was terrified of losing Kyungil. They were one in the same; jail meant losing Kyungil, death meant the same as well. Either way he was ed.

Raina and Kyungil wanted him to be afraid of the consequences and the possibility of what would happen if they got caught. Fines were the easiest to deal with but for them it would probably be solitary for life, if they were lucky. Put to death as an example would be more likely. It wouldn’t end there. Their families would be shamed and put in danger, every action they made would be scrutinized and recorded. Their lives wouldn’t be their own anymore.

Raina and her daughter. His mother and father. Probably even Jaeho and anyone else close to him.

All because he likes a man eight years older than himself.