Two months passed much like running with a parachute; hard and difficult and you felt tired once the day was over. If it had been easy, if it hadn’t hurt, they would have known it was nothing more than a passing infatuation. For Kyungil—and for Yijeong, every second was excruciating.

Kyungil had hoped it wouldn’t take so long, after all, Yijeong was young and it took longer for him to grasp complex things. Neither of them could bear it, so they stole time unbeknownst to the other. Kyungil leaving his shop to watch Yijeong through the department store’s window and the younger watching him from across the mall as he ate lunch. Alone.

One more day, Kyungil kept telling himself, he just needs one more day. What if he doesn’t? What if he needs a year? What if he’s already come to terms and…

Kyungil scoffed and ripped his sandwich in half, Yijeong wouldn’t abandon him. Right? It’s not like they made a promise or even admitted their attraction. It was ambiguous at best.

tray clattered down across the table, startling him out of his thoughts. A young boy sat down in the chair and smiled at him with his tongue trapped between his lips.

“Kyungil,” he laughed, “I missed you.”

Kyungil’s formerly rigid expression dissolved into a soft smile, “and I missed you.”

“What took so long, love,” he stared down at his tray so the cameras couldn’t read his lips, “I was going crazy.”

Yijeong’s heart jumped and he struggled to keep his face from turning red, “I was fighting with myself and with Raina a little bit.”

“So,” Kyungil lifted his head, “are you nervous being around me now?”

“Always.”

“Are you afraid to be close to me?”

“Definitely.”

“Good,” Kyungil folded and unfolded his paper napkin, “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Why did it have to be like this?”

“Because our world is imperfect and we are unfortunate bystanders,” Kyungil replied, “there was once death and pain, but there was also love. Now we have beauty and perfection and there are limits. They give and we take what we can. Would you give up this world that has so much to offer?”

“Give it up for what?” Yijeong examined Kyungil’s face with every word he spoke.

“What you asked before. If I would have chosen you in a different time and place. It doesn’t matter. Even right now, I still choose you,” Kyungil said simply, his tone even with honesty, “I will choose you over anything else, again and again. If we can’t be together, then I will be alone forever. And I’m alright with that.”

“Things are the way they are, we can’t change that” he continued oblivious to Yijeong struggling across the table, “I would give up everything for you. I will go to jail or be put to death, anything. I’ve always felt that, then again it means nothing if you are not just as willing, since we’re in this together.”

“I am,” Yijeong managed to get out, barely a whisper, not from lack of purpose. It was overwhelming in all senses, “I will live the rest of my life in fear, looking around every corner as long as that means I get to be with you.”

“Was that a confession, Yijeong?” Kyungil pulled at the napkin he’d been messing with. Yijeong stared at him, “yes, Kyungil, it was.”

The napkin ripped abruptly and Kyungil dropped it, “I really wish I could kiss you.”

A guard stalked by their table and stared at them, his pupils dilating. Yijeong could feel his blood rushing in his eardrums and he thought his heart might stop out of shock. Across from him Kyungil seemed unfazed, his eyes still glued to Yijeong’s face. The guard made a whirring sound, probably taking notes, before hustling away.

“Are you okay?”

Yijeong took a shuttering breath and fell forward onto his arms, “how are you so calm?”

“Because I’ve been aware much longer than you,” he began shredding the napkin, “don’t think I am calm, I worry, always.”

“I think I’m starting to understand,” the boy whined against the tabletop.

“Still worth it?”

Yijeong caught his gaze, “yes.”

~~

Yijeong fell onto the couch, mentally exhausted after the day he had. He could hear Raina in the other room talking to their mother when a small girl ran into the room and hopped onto his lap.

“Eunjung,” he grinned as the girl cuddled under his arm, “how was your day? Did mommy take you anywhere fun?”

“Mommy had work. Grandma and Grandpa took me to the park, though. We fed the fish and I played on the jungle gym. I met a new friend!”

“A boy,” she added, wide eyed.

“Oh,” Yijeong chuckled, “do you have a boyfriend?” He envied her, a child, and it was pitiful. No matter what she couldn’t be troubled.

“I’m too young for love,” she shook out her hair, “mommy says I should keep my options open for later.”

“She would say that,” Yijeong pinched her cheek, “wouldn’t she?”

Yijeong planted a kiss on the girl’s forehead as he stood up, “I gotta go to bed. You never did tell me what you want for your birthday.”

“I want daddy,” she pouted.

“I know,” Yijeong cupped her chin, “and you know, I cant make that happen.”

“Then, I want mommy to be happy.”

Yijeong sighed, “those aren’t gifts, Eunjung. Raina is happy, she has you and that’s all she really wants.”

The little girl continued to pout with narrowed eyes, clearly unhappy but she stalked away. Yijeong walked into his room and collapsed on his mattress, falling asleep within moments. Stress takes a toll on the body and unless met with an equal amount of relaxation, a person will start to break down. Today was only day one.

~~

In those two months apart Kyungil was exceedingly bored. He worked out a lot, slept more than he should have and spent too much time making jewelry. He created things almost mindlessly, letting his hands work as they desired. He thought about what Yijeong would like, what he might wear and when he ran out of ideas he made things his sister might like. Kyungil didn’t think about it deeply, he just let his mind wander.

With Yijeong in mind he mostly made rings, for his sister, earrings. He even made something when he thought back to Raina’s daughter. Perhaps he was emotional, to an extent you should be as a jeweler. To make truly amazing work you should put a bit of yourself into each one; have to understand the intent behind buying the piece. Whether someone is buying it because they love the other and want to celebrate an anniversary; or out of lust, hoping something shiny will lure them into bed.

He made all his jewelry hoping love was the motive. He wasn’t senseless enough to think most people’s reasons were so noble. Since he poured some of his love into those creations and he wanted someone to enjoy them. That doesn’t mean Kyungil didn’t set aside a few things.

Kyungil closed his shop and walked down the hallway, shoving his way through groups of people walking too spread out. He was running behind meeting Yijeong for lunch but was hesitant to straight up jog to the food court. Finally making it up one floor and to the middle of the mall Kyungil spotted Yijeong at their table. Another figure sat at the table next to him, which made Kyungil uncomfortable. He picked a food shop with the smallest line not caring what he ended up getting.

“Yijeong?” He stood behind his normal seat not sitting down, instead glancing between the boy and the other person.

“Kyungil!” His whole face lit up and he quickly quenched it to a small smile, “I thought maybe you couldn’t make it.”

He placed his food on the table and sat down, “so you got another lunch date?”

“Of course not,” Yijeong laughed and glanced at the other boy beside him, “this is Jaeho.”

“Ah, yes. The best friend,” Kyungil gave him the once over; he was similar in size to Yijeong, his hair parted down the middle with a small face and slightly feminine features.

“Hello,” he stuck out his hand, “I’m Jaeho, 18. I hear you’re trying to seal Yijeong away from me, eh?”

“Kyungil, 26,” he tentatively shook the other’s hand while Yijeong smacked Jaeho on the back of the head.

“Only joking,” the blonde grinned, “so did he invite you to Eunjung’s birthday?”

“I hadn’t,” Yijeong shoved the other, “you know he cant go. We cant be seen together.”

“What about Raina?” Jaeho asked, “you could be there for her, for all we know. I mean, that’s what I would assume if you came.”

“That’s not why…”

“Duh,” the blonde shook his head, stupefied, “but it could be.”

Yijeong played with the idea, “I think you should come. Raina would appreciate it and you could meet Eunjung. And my parents.”

“When is it?”

“Next Sunday.”

“Hm, and where is it?”

“Crystal park,” Yijeong leaned over and fiddled with Jaeho’s sleeve, “we’re having a picnic.”

Kyungil growled under his breath at the close contact between the two, “Yijeong don’t torture me. Just because you can touch him doesn’t mean you should.”

The dark-haired boy shot him a sly grin and wrapped his arms around Jaeho’s neck, “why cant I touch my best friend, Kyungil?”

The older man’s eyes narrowed to slits, “Yijeong.”

Yijeong ignored him, instead snuggling into the blonde’s neck, “whaaat?”

“Don’t make me go to jail,” Kyungil said, his words sharp and concise. Yijeong practically jumped away from Jaeho.

“I’m just gonna go,” the blonde stood up, “cause I can see there’s a lot of unresolved going on here and I don’t enjoy being pulled into it.”

Kyungil grumbled a goodbye, his angry gaze focused on Yijeong. “I get that you’re frustrated, I am too.”

Yijeong stared at the table.

“Do you understand why I’m so ing upset?” He balled his hands into fists, “I cant touch you, I cant kiss you and I definitely cant make love to you. I don’t want to see anyone touching you, even if their feelings are platonic. I certainly don’t want to see you teasing me.”

“I’m sorry, Kyungil,” he muttered, tears threatening to fall because of his careless actions.

“Don’t do it again, please,” Kyungil sighed, the hurt finally dissipating from his face, “I really like you, you know?”

“Yes, Kyungil,” he raised his head, “I like you, too.”

Kyungil smiled, “imagine I kissed you, to take the sadness away.”

“I always do,” the boy wiped at his eyes, making sure they stayed dry, “so will you come to my nieces party? She’d love to meet you.”

“I’ve already got the perfect present for her.”