So it was real, all of it. 

 

I had just awoken from my sleep, and I thought yesterday was all a dream, but no.

 

Krystal was pregnant. And I was the father. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the baby, yet everyone around says I do. I care for the child, and I know I can’t say the same as the child’s mother. I knew what it was like, not having a father. I wouldn’t make my child go threw the same. As soon as the baby is born, I know one thing. The child isn’t going to have their mother in their life. I know that’s the worse thing I could ever possibly do to another human being. But Krystal is manipulative, she would and will do everything to get what she wanted. 

 

I had so many questions, so many that couldn’t be answered. Not even by Minzy. Minzy, Seunghyun and Minhyuk. They all welcomed me with open arms. But I knew this would be to much trouble for all of them, no matter how much I can confide in them. Only one person would be able to answer these questions, someone who knew about this all to well.

 

My mother.

 

It’ll break her heart for sure, but I didn’t know who else to turn to. I couldn’t handle this by myself, and knowing Krystal. She would take drastic measures.

 

I saw my mother sitting on the dining room chair, it was a large table, in an even larger room. She was a well-known CEO of a huge corporation. Many people knew her for her smart wit and her amazing business skills. But she was my mother, I knew more about her than anyone else ever could. I knew the littlest things, to the important things. I also knew, she was a teen mother herself.

 

“Mother, I need advice.” My mother and I, were close. But we aren’t so open to eachother. I never once went to her for help, I was always expected to know and do the right thing apart from the wrong. I was always told I resembled my father, but my mother always told me I was nothing like him. I had always thought it was her way of insulting of degrading me. Later I had found out, is was all out of love. My father left her as soon as he found out she was pregnant. It was all apparently, “Too much for him.” I know I can’t judge him for his decision, I was doing the exact same. I was ashamed.

 

She looks up from her important business documents to answer me. Then looks back down at her work. “ It’s now or never Taemin.” 

“Umma, mian.” She looks at me straight in my eyes. “What for, Taemin?” 

I sighed and looked to my feet. Silence, it was all that came out of me. “ Taemin, I’m only going to ask one time. What for?” She was getting frustrated, she hated when I made her wait. 

 

“Krystal, I-I- got her pregnant.” She slowly got up from her chair. Walking ever so gently towards me. “Is she your girlfriend Taemin?” She knew, she knew that last girlfriend I had was Minzy. Minzy, the only girl my mother ever treated so kindly and loved. As if she was her own daughter. “No umm-” I was cut off with a smack to the face. Tears welling up in my eyes. “Taemin. Didn’t I raise you better? You’re making a girl, your age, go through what I had to? Have you no sense? No shame whatsoever?”

 

I remained silent, not daring to look up at her. Not wanting to see the disappointment in her eyes. When all I ever wanted was to see love in them.

 

She sighed. “Your going to take care of that child, am I right Taemin? That child isn’t going to suffer one bit, because of you.” I looked at her, straight into those cold eyes. Confidence brewing in me, anger reaching it’s final point.

 

“Mother, I am going to take full custody of my child. I don’t want my child staying with their mother. She isn’t stable, mother, not in the mind atleast. You can tell me how wrong I am for taking my child away from their own mother. That’s my child, mom. I care for my child, even before their born and until after they are gone.”

 

She sighed again, “What makes you think you’ve got the right? What if your father took you? My god Taemin, your making me so stressed. If only-” I cut her off. “If only, what?” I said, narrowing my eyes at her. 

 

“If only you weren’t born.” She looked at me, horrified by what she had just said.

I laughed, tears streaming down as I laughed. “Is that so?” I dashed for the door, “Taemin! I’m sorry! That wasn’t what I was supposed to say! Taemin!” I was running up my room, packing. I got all the things I needed. My money, which was stored in a card. The one thing I owned and earned myself. The money I rightfully earned. My clothes, my phone and my keys to my car. My mother tried to stop me as I was leaving. 

 

As I was about to leave through the door, I turned at my mother. “If only I wasn’t born, right Mother?” Giving her a sad smile, a smile I forced in order to not show my tears.

 

I was driving around and around. I didn’t have anywhere to go. I was left to my last resort.

 

I picked up my phone and called some old friends of mine.

“Hey! Taemin? What’s up, how’ve you been man?” It was Jonghyun. Jonghyun lived with my other three closest friends. Minho, Onew and Key.

“Hey man, mind if I crash at your place?” I asked trying to sound cheerful.

“Hey man, of course! There’s a spare room, calling your name!”

I thanked him and hung up.

 

Make do, Taemin. Just make do.