"Thank you for coming in today, please look forward to our decision." The man bowed his head at me, lifting with a smile. 

"No, thank you." I bowed in return, shared his smile, and went about my way. Interview down. It's just a cosmetic retail job. Working my way up to get a higher paying salary is essential. But I can do it! Plus, it's cosmetics! Cosmetics is a new interest of mine after all. 

After glancing around the shop a little longer, I exited and made my way to the car, pulling out my phone to dial Hyejin's number. Day five in Korea and everything is already going better than expected. 

"Hyejin-ah!" I smiled as she picked up. "Are you free?" 

"I really wish I was..." She whined on the other end. "I'm caught up at work for a while."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot you worked today." I apologized quickly and slipped into the car, starting it easily. "Never mind." 

I hung up. What should I do? I want to go visit the boys but they're probably all busy. They're no longer like they were a year ago and always free. Which is good and at the same time. 

Should I visit Chan Mi? Ji Ae isn't so rude now so I bet I could and she wouldn't even protest.

Hell. Let's do it.

Chan Mi is my new obsession. 

--

"Chan Mi~" I hummed, tickling her chin and laughing when she reacted. "So, you leaving then?" 

"Yes." Ji Ae smiled. "It'll be hard to part from this bugger... I don't really go anywhere without her." 

"What if she gets hungry? She's still feeding, I assume."

Ji Ae nodded. "I won't be gone long. I just fed her a few minutes ago before you walked in and the grocery store is just down the block."

"Alright." I nodded, taking Chan Mi from her. She's so cute... 

Ji Ae kissed her forehead and was gone soon after. 

"You're stuck with your awesome aunt." I mumbled, smiling wide at her as I carried her over to the couch and sat down. "Do you want to be introduced to cartoons? They're the best things ever." Chan Mi just stared up at me with big eyes and I couldn't help but crack another laugh. "You're adorable. I would show you cartoons if I weren't too lazy to find the remote." 

So instead I took entertainment by just simply watching her until she fell asleep in my arms. I moved her to more comfortable position and let a gentle sigh. 

"When I first heard that Ji Ae became a mother... I thought you would grow up with a rough life." I whispered as not to wake Chan Mi. "But seeing how much you've changed her... I don't worry anymore. I don't know much about your father but he seems like a really cool guy as well. I think you've got nothing to worry about." 

Immediately after I stopped talking, my phone went off. In a panic as not to let the noise wake her, I answered it without checking the ID.

"Hello?" I continued to speak in a hushed tone.

"I was starting to think you changed your number." The sweet, bubbly voice on the other end nearly sent my heart skipping away from me. "I'm calling from one of my buddy's phones since I left mine at home. I've been trying to contact you since the first day the contract was over!"

"Hobi-ah!" I squealed quietly with excitement. "I thought it was spam calling me all this time!" 

"No, no!" He laughed. "Why do you sound so quiet? Is this phone not working right?" 

"No, it's fine, I'm sure. I'm lowering my voice so my niece can sleep."

"Niece! Oh! That's new to me!" 

"Everything about me will be new to you! I have so much to talk to you about!"

"Lucky for you, I get to go home tonight!" He announced happily. 

"Yeah, it is lucky! Taehyung and I were disappointed when you didn't the other night."

"I know, I was too. I want to see you so bad... I miss you." 

"I miss you too, Hobi." I smiled cheekily, lowering my voice again when Chan Mi stirred slightly. "I can't talk long, I'm waking Chan Mi." 

"Such a cute name..." Hoseok instantly went hushed and then spoke normally when he remembered that his volume didn't matter. "I'll let you go. I'll meet you at your place then, hm?"

"I don't live in the apartment anymore. I'll text the address to this number."

"Oh, more new things!" Hoseok laughed. "Alright." 

He hung up and I quickly texted the address, adding a little heart at the end. I missed his cute voice! Hobi, my sunshine! 

"My sunshine is back, Chan Mi." I whispered, gently her back. "Some day you'll find your sunshine. They're the best people to be around."

You might even meet someone who is the complete opposite from sunshine though. And, well... They're not all half bad either.

--

"Where were you all day?" Taehyung asked, smiling brightly at me. "It's so nice to be able to be with you again.. I miss you so much!" 

"Yah would you stop that. I'm here so you can't possibly miss me." I giggled, poking his nose. "Where do you work?" 

"Answer my question first." He mumbled, making his own way into my kitchen and rummaging through my food. "You have literally nothing to eat." 

"Do you come over here just to eat?" I grumbled, patting Chico's head before he slipped outside. "Anyways, I went for a job interview at a cosmetic shop in the mall. It went well, I think I get to look forward to good news."

"Awesome~!" He cheered, grabbing a bottled water, sipping it, and then putting it back in. 

"Yah why do you do that?" I sighed, annoyed. "Get out of my fridge." 

He giggled and ran over to the couch, lying down and easily taking up the entire thing. "So where I work? I'm a substitute teacher." 

"Really?" I glanced at him, highly intrigued. "I guess I've never seen you in that sort of setting but it fits... Don't wanna be an actor?"

"Nah." He shook his head. "I want to be a teacher to the young kids." 

"You get along best with them because you are one." I mocked, venturing over to the other couch and plopping down. 

"Ouch." He mumbled. "But I'm actually attending university too."

"Oh wow, really?" I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. "To get the teaching degree?"

He nodded. "I can only be a substitute right now. And later I'll get to intern. But I have to go through university to become a teacher." 

"You'll do great. When did you enroll?"

"Soon after the contract ended." 

"You still got a while to go."

"Yeah but I'm enjoying it so far." He sat up, shrugging his shoulders before eyeing my suspiciously. "You know... You amaze me." 

"Why?" 

"You've been here for a few days now and you never once visited Yoongi." 

I rubbed my chest a bit as my heartached before faking a smile. "It's hard to visit him. I don't want to think about it." 

"But why?" He rubbed his head in confusion. "I mean I get that he hurt you but you should really see him. You two parted on such bad terms, it would enlighten both of you to meet again on good terms." 

I bit my lip and nodded. "If only. It's not that I don't want to see him. It's just that I don't want to have to ask where he is cause I don't want to think about him not being around."

"What?" Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows at me. "What kind of insanity are you speaking?" 

"Too much apparently." I forced a laugh. "Let's move on from this topic." 

"If you say so.." He sighed. "Just for the record... I think you should visit Yoongi. I mean that's coming from the guy that still has a major crush on you." I gave him a funny look but he just shook his head. "No, don't worry. I know my limits... For now." 

"Yah.." I couldn't help but smile and through one of my throw pillows at him. "What sort of insanity are you speaking?" 

"Too much for you as well~" He mocked, throwing it back and watching as I put it back in place. "I guess you're stronger than you were when you left a year back." 

"Shut up or I'll kick you." I threatened, switching over to his couch and grabbing the remote on my way. "Cartoons?" 

"Of course, why do you even ask?" He mumbled, moving close to me and cuddling into me. 

"Such a child..." I spoke under my breath with a teasing tone. "Speaking of which, where is So Ra?" 

"Hanging out with Jin." 

"Jinnie doesn't wanna see me." I pouted. 

"Oh he does, just So Ra needed someone to hang with so I could be with you."

"Hog." 

"Heh. Jin has a whole bunch of gifts for you. He won them at the arcade and saved them for you." 

"He really did that?"

"Mhm."

"What a sweetheart..." I sighed, my heart tingling with warmth as I finally found the cartoon channel. 

"Me too, right?"

"You're an ." 

"Yah."

"Where's the lie?"

"Got me there." He sighed. "But whatever. You like me."

"Sure."

"Sure?"

"Of course I do, my Prince Hog." 

"How unflattering..." He grumbled. "...But I like it..."

"Of course you do." I rubbed his head and relaxed into him.

Taehyung's right... 

I really should find out where Yoongi is and pay a visit. 

He deserves it.

--

"... And that's how I won custody of all my mom's stuff!" Jungkook smiled brightly. "Isn't it great?"

"Mhm." I smiled at him widely. "So where'd your father go afterwards?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "But he's not my problem." 

"True, true." I matched his sigh and then leaned in closer. "Yah... Can I bring the mood down a bit?"

"Of course." He chuckled, sipping his soda. "What is it?"

"Where is Yoongi?"

Jungkook gave me an odd look. "I don't know, probably at home." 

"What do you mean you don't know?" I laughed at him like he was stupid. "Are you messing with me right now?"

"What do you want from me?" He frowned. "How would I know?" 

"You're ing with me." I sighed again, shaking my head. "I'll just ask Taehyung."

"I guess." He grumbled, upset. "Sorry I don't keep tabs." 

"You shouldn't mess around with stuff like this though."

"Stuff like what?" Jungkook bit his lip, looking both slightly confused and slightly frustrated. "Why are you choosing your words about him so carefully like this?"

"What do you mean?!" I narrowed my eyebrows, getting slightly frustrated as well. "You and Taehyung are both acting like this is not a big deal!"

"What isn't a big deal?!" 

"Yoongi!" I yowled and then immediately looked around the cafe in embarrassment. "You are acting like his death meant nothing to you." 

"Death?" Jungkook straightened up and gave me an understanding look. "Oh that's your issue... You think he's dead." 

"Think?" I relaxed as well, my heart racing and aching all at the same time. "What the do you mean? He's not dead?"

"No." Jungkook shook his head. "Not at all." 

"I watched him die in front of me, Jungkook..." My eyes filled with tears and he immediately switched to my side of the booth in a panic. "I watched die, there is no way." 

"The ambulance got him to the hospital fast enough. They saved his life even when we were all sure he couldn't be saved." Jungkook hugged me quickly, rubbing my back. "He didn't die." 

"I watched him..." I bit my lip and shut my eyes tightly into Jungkook's chest. 

"We would've told you sooner but we didn't know you thought he was dead. We just thought you were ignoring him cause you were still hurt so we didn't want to press anything on you..." Jungkook sighed, rubbing my back and then my hair. "You spent an entire year thinking he was dead..." 

"I don't know how to react." I admitted, pulling away to swipe the stray tears. "I'm so happy to hear that he's alive... But I'm also so angry." I glanced at him. "Why didn't he call me?" 

"He probably doesn't know you're back." Jungkook mumbled. "Otherwise he would have by now, I'm sure of it. He missed you like crazy... So much he was driving himself crazy." 

"None of you have seen him lately? You could've told him..." I lowered my head. He's alive... How? 

He didn't die... I no longer have to live with the shame and grief of killing someone.. And more importantly, he's still breathing. 

"I don't care about the answer." I shook my head before he could respond. "I need to go." 

Jungkook gave a slight smile. "No problem. I'll pay the tab so you go right ahead." 

He got out so I could and I ran off before saying another word, more tears sliding down my cheeks. He's not dead... 

This is why they all thought I was crazy for not visiting him...

I don't understand how... Or why he's alive. But I don't care. I may have watched him die, but the fact that he's breathing still... Dismisses all of that. 

He's alive. 

--

I knocked on the door frantically, feeling as if I was going to go insane if he didn't open the door. I felt as if the sky was falling and crushing me right then and there but just before I could burst in, the door opened to reveal his familiar figure. 

My heart fell as our eyes met, neither of us sure on what to do or how to react. His hair isn't blonde anymore. It's black... 

He's alive...

He's breathing...

With all the emotions whirling in my body, making me so confused, the only one that slipped out was the anger. My eyebrows narrowing quickly as a tear slipped out once more. "Who the do you think you are?" I spat. 

But to my surprise, Yoongi just relaxed further, holding my gaze as if it meant everything. "What was that?" His words sounded like a bittersweet melody to my ears.

I don't know. What was that? "How can you live?" I spat again, pushing on his chest slightly. 

He smirked, his eyes not hiding anything as they shined with pure happiness and entertainment. "Hm?" 

"I watched you die." I choked, another tear straying down my cheek. "I watched you selfishly die in front of me." 

"Selfishly?" He breathed calmly, swiping the tears from my face with his thumb. 

"How could you try to leave like that...?" 

"Would you like some tea?" He put another smirk to his lips, pulling his hand from my face. "You have a lot to say." 

I didn't answer but he led me in anyways, my body relaxing with the familiar, vague environment. I sat immediately down on the couch, crossing my arms to my chest as he carried on to the kitchen to make tea. Nothing has changed in here. Nothing. 

I waited, collecting myself to refrain from looking like an idiot any further. It's been a year Hana, don't look like the same emotional wreck. You're changed now, show him that. 

Eventually, he returned, placing the mug in my hands gently and then seating himself on the other couch, angling his body towards me. "I like your hairstyle." He spoke first, dismissing the slight tension.

I nodded, sipping the tea, and then speaking as well. "Why?" 

"I can't read your mind." He spoke but his words didn't match his expression. He knew exactly what I was asking. He didn't even wait for me to press on and just leaned back on the couch, recalling the tough memories. "You asking me why is like asking a blind man what the color red is."

"Huh?"

"I don't know." He put it simply.

"What was going through your mind to do something like that?" 

"Nothing." He shrugged, his mouth twitching as he grew uncomfortable. He's closed off again. I broke the wall down before but I don't think I'll be able to do it again. Not without both of us reliving horrible memories. "I wanted a way out and I concluded that that was the only way." He spared a glance at me and smiled slightly. "Though when I saw you appear, I regretted everything." 

"I know." I admitted, sipping more of the tea and being careful not to burn my mouth. "I saw it in your eyes." 

"You know, the boys told me something worrisome about you that day. What were you thinking, might I ask? You stealing someone else's car and driving like a maniac, I mean. You couldn't have thought you would get out of that situation unharmed." 

"I had a one tracked mind." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I was in an accident, I'm sure you know. I had forgotten everyone when I woke up. But everyone I saw or heard, I recognized after a while, some sooner than others. But I never heard of you or saw you so I had forgotten you for a very long time." 

He winced, rubbing his head a bit. "Yeah, I heard of that. Do you know how tortured I was to know that when I woke up, you were injured in such a way? I couldn't even visit you because I wasn't myself for days."

"Do you know how much I tortured myself when I finally remembered you?" I threw back. "I could only see your lifeless body in my mind with the fact that I had killed you."

"What?"

"Nothing." I finished off the tea and put it on the table, sitting stiffly. "I'm beyond thrilled to see you alive and doing well." 

"But..?" Yoongi read my mind, sitting up as well. 

"But I don't want to go back to how we were." Do I really mean this?

"Fair enough." He nodded, seemingly unaffected. He's completely over me, isn't he? It's only normal that he is... I guess. "Thank you."

"For what?" I mumbled, standing up when he did. 

"For visiting me." He smiled slightly. "I didn't know you were around lately."

If I hadn't talked to Jungkook, it would've took me longer to visit you. "Yeah, sure." I faked a smile as well. "Ask one of the boys for my new address if you ever want to pay a visit. Though I don't see any circumstances here soon for you to do such a thing."

His smile faltered and he nodded. "Right. See you later, then." 

I nodded as well and left quickly before I made any stupid mistakes. 

Jungkook said he was worried like crazy over me and missed me...

But he doesn't seem to mind if he doesn't see me again soon. 

He has the right to change, I guess I just was wishing for him to still love me. 

How stupid. Now, Hana... Your dead lover is alive but no longer your lover so let go of these pointless feelings. 

Was he ever my lover? 

No. 

He never was.

Thanks so much for the upvotes!! ~PandaBiscuit~