"It is SO nice to see you in PERSON!" I growled, punching Hoseok's shoulder a bit before smiling. "You said you would see my TWICE and never showed up."

"Things get busy you know..." He looked down, pouting like a defeated puppy. "I'm popular, you know."

"Not as popular as you think you are." I teased, hugging him tightly and sighing with glee when he returned the embrace. "I need to see you all but you're so busy."

"Yeah, a lot changed in a year." Hoseok released himself from the embrace and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. "Your hair is very cute!" I boggled my head like he use to do and we both giggled. "I still do that, don't even joke like that!" 

"It is very cute." I breathed, glancing around the dance studio. "How has Hobi been?"

"Hobi has been fine." He gave me an odd look. "But don't you think I'm more interested in how you've been, given how you left?" 

"Maybe." I shrugged. "Should we get some coffee or something? It smells like sweat in here..."

My nose wrinkled and he let out another bit of laughter, another beautiful sound I had missed. "Sure, we have a coffee shop just down the street a few stores." 

"Good." 

"So..." Hoseok lead the way down the stairs and out of the building, linking arms with me once we were on the street. "How was Yoongi? I heard about that visit by mistake."

"Mistake?" I glanced at him and sighed. "I don't like bringing up Yoongi."

"I know, I'm sorry. But isn't it neat to see how he changed?" 

"What would you know, you're busy and don't see him much."

"But the fact that Yoongi has such a strong need to prove himself apologetically to you shows something huge. A year ago, even you know, this wouldn't be a thing." 

"Hobi, if I hear Yoongi out of your mouth one more time, I'm going to let you meet the sidewalk." 

"Ouch." Hoseok silenced himself for a moment. "I don't care much to meet the sidewalk." 

"By the way, if you're so popular now, why aren't girls screaming when they see you?" I switched the topic, my smile returning to my lips. 

"I'm not that popular, okay." He grumbled, seeming upset about the matter. "A lot can happen in a year but I, for sure, did not become famous in a year. Though, if I were to brag a bit, I would say we are pretty close to being one of the more noticed artist out there." 

"Well I would agree. I've been in Korea a bit now and I've seen a few posters and heard some things. You're getting there." 

"Not soon enough." He nodded. "Have you met with Jin yet? I know he's busy but he has a lot of gifts for you."

"I heard about that... Is it really that many?"

"Oh yes, dear, it is..." Hoseok flashed his wide smile that melted my heart even still. "He thought about you a lot and described you as his little sister." 

"Pffftt." The smile returned to my face. "What a cutie." 

"You call us all cute. I'm confused on who is the cutest..." 

"You, of course, my Hobi!" I patted his head with my other arm and pulled it down again, both our eyes set on the shop that was only a building away at this point.

"Good!" He let out another chuckle and let my arm go, rushing to get the door for me. "After you, Hana~" 

"Thanks Hobi, you're sweet." I beamed, going through the door and being hit with the amazing smell of coffee, Hoseok's presence close behind as we got in the small line. "I'll pay."

"Nah." He shook his head, stepping in front of me. "I'll pay. You tell me what you want and take a seat, I got this."

I glanced at Hoseok a while and broke into yet another smile. "Alright. Just get me a hot chocolate." It is always all smiles with Hobi... I love being around him so much. His happiness is contagious. 

"We go to a coffee shop and you want hot chocolate." He tsked at me in a cute manner. "I'll make sure they make it nice and cute for you." 

"You do that." I nodded, picking a seat towards the window.

Yoongi is a changed person from as far as I can tell. But... I can't go back to him. My heart is still aching from the pain I went through... What if something like that happens again? What if he changes his mind and ends up with someone else anyways? 

What if his words are all lies? Him 'showing' me that he has changed is just him faking it? I don't think he has a motive to fake anything with me... There is nothing for him to gain and he was never much of the gaining type. 

So what does he want? I don't trust that he's just acting this way to be my friend again because Yoongi never cared about friends. But I don't see anything he could gain nor want to gain...

Maybe this Yoongi cares about friends? 

Maybe I'm crazy? 

I should just stay the hell away from him because he ruins me completely. 

"Yo." Hoseok clicked, knocking on the table. "You good?" 

"Ah.. Yeah, thank you Hobi." I smiled, cupping the warm cup. 

"So, how is Hana?" 

"You know... Fantastic!" I shifted my position and leaned in towards him a bit, smiling ear to ear. "I want to go to a program to be a cosmetologist! I want to really be in with the skin part of things. Maybe the hair even... I don't know I really like skin treatments! That's why my job right now is at a retail store that sells only cosmetics! And I'll work my way up in that job while earning a certificate for this stuff and yeah!" 

"Oooh~ A hair stylists eh?" Hoseok grinned as well, sipping his coffee before speaking again. "You should be a hair stylist! And then I can hire you to do my bands' hair before shows and recordings and everything!" 

"Do you think I should lean more towards the hair part?" I mumbled, sipping my drink as well. "I like the skin part a lot too."

"It sounds funny out of context."

I giggled a bit. "You're right. Which do you think suits me best, honestly?"

"Honestly... I could see you being a hair stylist. But even if you chose to go the skin route, I can see you doing that too." 

"Hobi-ahh...."

"Okay okay sorry. I think you should be a hair stylist. Keep your job here, go to a hair school or whatever people do to get certified to do that stuff, and then you can find a new job as a hair stylist!" He sipped again and pointed at me with a wink. "And then when you're good at it, I'll hire you." 

"Ugh. How do I know if you're being serious or just wanting me to work with your hair?" 

"No, I'm being serious, for real." He dropped the act, sipped his coffee, and nodded. "Seriously. I think you would be a pretty cool hair stylist."

"Maybe."

"You're getting old, you're running out of options before you wither away and die!"

"I'm not that old, shut up." I sighed, glancing out the window. "I will think about it and take your words to heart. You tend to see the best in me so maybe you see the best in me career-wise as well." 

"Well, when you care for something, you see everything." Hoseok sighed, looking out the window as well. "Everyone's lives fell into place this last year. We all have careers that we are happy with, we are all working hard to be successful... And we hardly see each other anymore. I can't tell you the last time I've seen Jimin or Namjoon to be frank."

"It is upsetting, isn't it?" I looked at him sadly, studying his side profile which was, like every other feature on this man, pure art. "Finally doing what you're supposed to be doing in life but missing the times when you weren't?"

"Very." The corner of his mouth twitched. "I mean... As much as we all changed and got our life together here..." He faced me, his eyes meeting mine with the same cheerful shine I've hardly seen leave. "You've changed the most. You went to Canada after having a very serious head injury caused by an accident due to seeing your once lover, well you know, stuff... And then losing your memories for a little bit and thinking that person was gone. Your hair changed, your skin looks amazing by the way, and you just hold yourself so much higher... You're a lot more... Intimidating now rather than soft. And now you're here, a career waiting for you to choose which branch and watching your siblings raise a family." Hoseok smiled and pointed out the window at a person in the distance. A young girl with books in her arms, headphones on, and a hood over her school uniform. 

Her posture was slouched and you could see the exhaustion and worry written all over her body. But her face smiled as she walked on. "That's sort of what you looked like last year." He finished, his eyes searching for something else before he pointed at another woman. But she was much older, the greys visible in her hair. Her posture was upright and confident, she had a binder in her arms, and was dressed in a business suit. Her hair was kept nicely and her face did not smile, but her eyes did and she radiated confidence. "And now you're kinda like her. I mean, not the business type... But the confident, sure type." 

"You really think that?" I mumbled, watching her go by as I sipped my hot chocolate.

"Well I don't think it, I know it." He chuckled, his eyes back on me even though I kept mine out the window. "And I'm not the only one that has seen it, I'm sure." 

"When did you get so ing wise?" I broke the serious vibe and laughed, glancing at him as he broke into a huge smile as well. 

"I'm always wise!!" He screeched, lowering his voice when everyone in the shop sent a glare at him. He giggled a bit as he spoke, "You just never saw past my goofiness!"

"Oh I'm sure I did a few times." I grumbled. "Look you upset everyone here!"

"I didn't mean ittt!" He pouted, hanging his head and staring at the lid of his coffee. "I'm still loud and goofy and no one takes me seriously."

"Say and one more time and I'll hit you!" I finally giggled as well.

"Tell me you see the irony.." 

"Of course." I flicked his head until he rose it again, his smiling eyes meeting mine. "Drink your coffee and let us go do something else!"

"What would you like to do?" 

"Anything." I answered simply. "I'm just greatful to spend a day off with my cute Hobi!"

His face lit up with his ears getting a little red before he broke into an even wider smile that I didn't think was possible. "I know just the place..." 

"Where?" My eyebrows rose at the question. 

"My apartment!" He danced a little with glee. "I have so much time until rehearsal tonight and I recorded some killer movies! You in?"

"Duh." I mocked his little dance before we fell into another fun, meaningless conversation. 

Hobi is literally the light everyone needs in life... Without him, I would be so screwed. 

My heart aches yet when I'm with him, it finds a reason to beat without an ache. Just for a little while. 

I need more of his cheer in my life.

--

"You know, aren't you being a bit selfish to Yoongi?" Hoseok sighed through the phone. "When I hung out with you yesterday, I thought it then but we were having a good time so I moved on. But like... You guys had something true for a little bit there. And now he's trying to better himself with you..."

Maybe. I just don't want the pain again. "He was selfish himself."

"Can you blame him? You know his problems."

"I know..." I sighed. "Hobi, I'm trying to better myself too. What we had was too short to know if it was true. What we have now is nothing."

"It doesn't have to be like that and you know it."

I didn't respond. I knew well it didn't have to be. I knew well it wasn't all his fault this happened. None of this was just out of spite. He had legit issues that caused this. I know that. I know it wasn't just him being selfish. But... I just can't go through the pain again. And to me, that means I don't deserve to love him. If I can't bear the pain with him while he betters himself and heals, then why should I be allowed to love him? Relationships are all about trying to shoulder eachother's pains and help each other. But I folded when it got real. 

Yes, he was selfish. No it wasn't all his fault. And yes I'm selfish. But I just don't think I can bear the pain and for me to think like this, it would put him in more pain to know he was too much for me. I'm just not ready for any of this.

The last year just doesn't feel real. I thought he was dead. I thought he was gone from this world. And now all the sudden he is alive. And now he wants to stick with me again, but as friends. I wish it didn't overwhelm me so much... But when a 1 year and 6 months of your past feels like a sick fantasy... It becomes hard to accept reality. 

"Hana!"

"What?"

"Did you hear me at all?"

"No, I'm sorry Hobi.. You got me thinking." 

"Well anyways, I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rude or bossy. Your relationship with Yoongi is your decision and I'm not here to say either way. I just really wanted to say what I felt."

"And I appreciate that, Hobi. You keep me in line..." I giggled a little bit. "Hey, I'll call you back, Hye Jin and I are out." 

"Alright, see you later Hana~" 

"Bye Hobi." I smiled as I hung up, tucking my phone in my pocket before glancing at Chico. Why couldn't I just hang up without making an excuse?

I sighed heavily to myself and patted Chico's head. "You're Hye Jin, right?" His head titled. "You haven't seen her in a while eh? Me either... She's too busy for her best friend." 

My fingers glided over Chico's fur, my eyes focused on nothing. I wonder what the boys are doing. I've been here a while and I've seen all of them... I haven't really met up with most and actually hung out, but I've at least seen them. 

I wonder what Yoongi does these days. 

I miss Nova.... My father. I haven't seen him yet. But he's not around... 

Should I get another dog? A friend for Chico? I'm at home more often these days but I remember in Canada how he reacted when he went to the dog park. He loved playing with the other dogs. 

Maybe I should. 

"Chico." I smiled a bit again, taking my hand off his head as it lifted. "Do you want a buddy?" His head titled once more as if he wanted to understand me. "A puppy?" Maybe a shelter dog? I feel like that might be the better option. "Come on Chico! Let's go get your leash!"

That caused him to jump to his feet immediately and run excited circles around me as I shuffled to the kitchen, opening a drawer with his leash and harness. "Calm yourself down! I'm trying, I'm trying!" I giggled, fumbling to put on the harness with his intense body wiggling. Eventually it snapped on and I was able to clip the leash to the harness, slipping my shoes on next and grabbing my purse. "You've been a good boy. You deserve a friend since Nova isn't around much anymore." 

With a new feeling of excitement, Chico and I charged out of the house and loaded into the car. I undid his leash and set it in a cup holder before double checking I had my wallet. Maybe a new face around the house would lift my spirits a bit more. Chico for sure makes me very happy but another can't hurt. 

What will I name them? 

I don't know. Let's just get there before I try and figure this all out. 

--

"What are you looking for today? Are you surrendering your dog?" A lady at the desk asked as Chico and I came through the door. 

"No, no. This is my baby." I chuckled as he vigoriously sniffed around. "I know there really isn't an adoption event going on but I was hopefully looking to add a member to my small family. I brought in my dog to make sure they would get along if I decided to adopt today." 

"Of course, we are a visitor-open shelter so adoption is whenever convienent!"

"Great." I finally reached the desk and glanced down at Chico. "I've never really adopted at a shelter before to be honest." 

"Well, you've made the right choice in starting today." She chuckled. "We aren't busy and we just cleaned all the kennels so I can take you back for a look at the adoptable dogs. We have the ones that cannot be adopted out yet separated so all of the ones you will see are healthy and able to be adopted." She searched for a few keys and then gave a small smile. "There are clipboards hanging on each kennel about the dog, or dogs as some may be in kennels together, about their history that we know of, personality, and abilities with other dogs." 

"Handy." I nodded, ready to follow her. "And it is fine if he comes back?"

"I don't see why not, letting your dog pick his new family member is just as great as the person themselves." 

"Thank you." I commented as I followed her back into a hallway.

Barking and scratching was evidently heard but I eventually tuned it out. Chico got a bit excited at first but managed to calm down as the woman began talking a bit louder over all the noise.

"All these dogs aren't able to adopt yet." She pointed out, my eyes gazing over sadly at some of the sick looking dogs and then some of the ones that just looked terrified. "They're either not socialized enough due to neglect or they are sick and are being treated." 

I felt horrible for the dogs but we kept on pushing onward until we reached another door, leading into a much bigger room with bigger kennels and personal items of the dogs within the kennels. They yipped and barked with excitement and all came to the doors rather quickly, some jumping crazily and others just sitting and observing. 

"Here are all the adoptable ones." She stopped and turned to me, spreading her arms. 

"There aren't as many as I would've guessed."

"We've had a good month." She shrugged. "They're all sweethearts. This one over here," She pointed at a white boxer puppy, "He's pretty young and was seized from a hoarding case. He was the only one in the group that we were able to treat and socialize enough to be adoptable at the moment. He's a really great puppy." 

"He is so adorable..." I sighed, my heart melting when I saw him. "Do you mind if I let Chico free range since all of them are in kennels?"

"Have at it. I'll shut the door so he doesn't wander out." She nodded, going over and shutting the door we came from quickly. "All these dogs just came in from their outdoor time so they are a bit tired, though really you can't tell." 

I laughed a little and unclipped Chico. "Go meet some of the dogs." I glanced around. "And you're sure it is okay? You said some of these dogs don't do well with other dogs?"

"Like you said, they are in kennels. None of these dogs are afraid of other dogs but a few just aren't fond of another dog's company so they'll just keep your distance if your dog decides to try and greet them."

I nodded again and watched as Chico chose to stick to the middle and sniff around first. This'll not only cheer me up but make Chico a happier boy. All an owner could ever want, if you ask me. 

The lady figured out I was okay from here on out and announced she would go back to the front desk and to get her if I've decided on any of them. 

Once the door was shut again, I took my rounds around the kennels. Can't I just take them all home? They look so happy to see me... I bet they hate the kennels so much... 

My pacing stopped at the white boxer again. His eyes meeting mine with his tail thumping in excitement. He seems like a happy boy... He doesn't really seem like a dog that was seized... 

My eyes dragged from him and I made my rounds, pausing at a few dogs here and there and checking on Chico. But he neither picked any single dog out to take home nor too interested in any of them. He probably doesn't understand. Why would he understand anyway? 

I went back to the box puppy and knelt down, my face level with his face. "You seem like such a sweetheart." I sighed, waving at him acutely. "Are you really as sweet as you appear or are you going to become crazy and wild once you get used to your new home?" His ears twitched and his tongue popped out, a smile dragging across my face. "You won my over with that stupid tongue." 

I pushed myself off the ground and clipped Chico's leash back onto his collar, making my way back to the lobby of the shelter. The lady was with someone else so I took my seat with Chico and waited, the smile sticking to my face as I was so excited to take this new addition to my family home. Might as well load my house up with dogs if I have no luck with relationships. 

I wonder what I should name him? 

Should I ask Tae again? He named Chico, after all...

My phone vibrated in my pocket. Shifting uncomfortably to get into my pocket, I pulled it out and answered quickly. "Yeah, Hye Jin-ah?" 

"What are you doing? I thought you had today off?" 

"I do." I mumbled, patting Chico's head. "I'm getting another dog."

"This is rather spontaneous, don't you think?"

"Yeah maybe... But Chico needs a friend. Nova doesn't stay with me anymore and I'm gone a lot... I figured he could use the company." 

"I guess so... What kind of dog?"

"I went to a shelter and had a look around but this one caught my eyes..." I smiled again, continuing to rub Chico's head and ears. "He is a white boxer. He isn't a super young dog but I would stay he's still pretty close to puppy-hood. He was seized from a boarding case but he seems super sweet." 

"I'm sure he may need a lot of attention then too, if he was from a hoarding case." 

"I thought so too." I nodded. "It isn't like I'm never around so when I am, of course I will be giving both my babies love and attention. But I think they both could use some attention from each other." 

"I agree." She sighed, her phone making muffling noises as she shifted on the other end. "I'm at your house though." 

"Still?" 

"Yeah, there is a little girl sitting on your porch. I didn't get out of my car and I stayed parked on the street to see what was up with her. But she is just sitting there. Do you know a little girl?" 

Why is she waiting like that? Shouldn't she be at school? I checked the time on my phone and furrowed my eyebrows. "You have the key I gave you, right?"

"Of course."

"Will you let her in please, it is far too chilly outside for her to be sitting on the porch." 

"Do you know a little girl then?"

"Would I be telling you to let her in if I didn't?" I grumbled, standing quickly. "Give her something warm to drink and stay with her until I'm home. Give me an hour, max." 

"Alright..." Hye Jin mumbled. "Who is she?"

"So Ra. I'll explain later. See you soon." I hung up before a reponse and went to the desk. "I've made a decision, how fast can we get this adoption going and over with?" 

The lady smiled at me and ducked behind the desk for papers. 

What is she doing at my house at this hour? And just waiting there as well? 

Something must be off with her and Tae, surely. 

But Tae should be at his job, right?

There is no way she is skipping school for no reason. 

I hope everything is okay. 

I apologize immensely. I swear to God I have not forgotten about this story. Life just finds ways to keep you away from what you want to do sometimes!! But here is chapter 4! Chapter 5 shouldn't be far off but I won't make promises considering it took me this long to get chapter 4 finished and posted. (I'm actually in class right now finishing it up so... Uni sometimes lemme tell ya). But there are big plans for this story and believe me, I'm not letting it go to waste by forgetting about it! Forgive my schedule and I hope you can still enjoy! ~PandaBiscuit~