Haneul sat in the seat of the car with holding her knees to her chest, staring blankly out at the window watching the scenery roll by, the black feather held tightly in her hands. Though most people would find it beautiful and fantastic to look at, the lush green countryside of rolling hills, serene farmlands, and expansive forests sprawling along the horizon, she could find no joy in it. She could find no joy in anything, now. Her joy had been stolen from her, ripped out of her hands just as she was bringing it close to her heart. No, she thought firmly as the tears rose to her eyes for the hundredth time that day. I must not cry.

After her final encounter with Baro at the graveyard, Haneul had returned home, resigned to her bitter fate. Wordlessly, she had sunk down into the couch and stared unseeing at the wall. All traces of sadness had been gone, replaced with a cold shock. She recalled Sandeul speaking to her and shaking her shoulders, but even now, when her mind had more or less returned, she could not remember what he had been saying to her. He had disappeared for a moment, only to return shortly leading a woman into the room. Her aunt, who was now sitting in the driver’s seat chattering excitedly about the girl’s new life in the big city.

“There’s just so much more to do, honey,” she beamed at her, glancing at her through her peripheral vision at the despondent girl before returning her gaze to the winding road in front of them. “Daeyang was pretty, but that’s more of a retirement town. Here, there will be so many more people your age; you’ll make friends quickly, I’m sure, a pretty and charming girl like you. There’s all kinds of places to go, too, so many restaurants and clubs- do people your age go clubbing?- and movie theaters, and a nice amusement park. Trust me, dear, once you get a taste of city life you’ll find Daeyang to be such a bore! I wonder why your father ever moved there in the first place. I know you didn’t know him well, dear, he died when you were so young, so if you ever want to know anything about him, I’ll tell you anything you want to hear!”

Perhaps he moved to get away from your blabbering, she thought bitterly, and then instantly felt the shame rush through her, a hot burning of guilt. The woman was taking her in out of the kindness of her heart, and it wasn’t her fault that the police had spontaneously relocated her. It wasn’t fair for Hanuel to take out her rage on the kindly woman, and so she forced a small smile and nodded to try and seemed interested. No matter how hard she tried to pull out the happiness, though, all that surfaced was the cold, hard, piercing knife of grief and sorrow. With a small sigh, she propped her head on her knees and watched her aunt out of the corners of her eyes, having grown sick of staring at green trees and green fields and green rice paddies.

If her father was a woman, then her aunt would be exactly what she looked like. She remembered little of her father, and knew him by a photograph only. They shared the same round, happy face, the same chestnut hair and eyes, even the same laugh lines around their mouths. She was an amiable person, and from the limited actions she remembered with her aunt and Sandeul’s family, quite funny and easy-going. She was so kind, too, hugging Haneul when she arrived and offering her condolences and swearing to do her right for few years she would be residing in Seoul. Haneul couldn’t have asked for a better guardian, and yet when she gazed at the smiling woman sitting in the driver’s seat, all she felt was sick to her stomach.

“Look, dear,” her aunt abruptly sighed as she to an exit. Haneul turned her attention to the windshield, watching as the squiggly skyline in the distance slowly grew. She could see the light dancing across the skyscrapers, flashing and glittering. “I know how hard it can be moving at your age. You’ve built an entire life in Daeyang; I know that, but, considering all that has happened, I think this is good for you. You’ve endured so much suffering there. It’s time for you to enjoy your life; you’re so young, and you deserve to have some good memories of your childhood. I know I wasn’t your choice, but could you at least give me a chance?” she implored as she glanced at her, smiling softly. Haneul felt even guiltier when she saw the sadness hiding in the edges of the woman’s lips.

“Yes,” she answered honestly, squashing all the darkness inside of her and locking it away where it could not return. Mother, Father, Dong-woo… I’m leaving them all behind. This is my life, and I’m going to take control of it.

I just wish Baro was a part of it.

The city zoomed into view much more rapidly than the girl would’ve thought, and soon they were inching their way through the bustling traffic of the great city of Seoul. Haneul craned her neck as they drove past skyscrapers of dizzying heights, so tall they seemed to pierce the clouds. There were so many people, too, crowding the sidewalks to the point of bursting- and there were so many types, too. Businessmen, schoolgirls and schoolboys, old women and men, models, street hagglers, young thugs- Haneul saw all of them and every iteration in-between, chatting on their phones or to each other and reading the newspaper and peering into storefronts. It was almost awe-inspiring, how populated the city was. Her aunt pointed out areas of interest as they rolled down the busy streets. Hanuel learned where the best cafés in town where, which grocery store offered the best prices, what kind of stores the mall held, and most importantly the location of her school. It was ginormous, and put the tiny high school of Daeyang to shame; rising four stories, Haneul thought it could be big enough to be a college campus. She couldn’t imagine what the actual colleges in Seoul looked like, if the sprawling mass of school buildings and athletic fields was only a high school.

The city soon faded into simple suburbs, quaint one- and two-story houses with well-kept yards. The passersby waved jovially at the car as they drove down the street to her aunt’s neighborhood, and the woman rolled down her window to call out to a few of them. Haneul expected that they would be dropping by soon to welcome her, and she was not sure if she was ready for such a thing or not. I have to be, she told herself firmly as she squeezed the black feather in her hands. Her aunt thankfully had not inquired about her niece’s strange trinket.

Haneul sat up slightly as they arrived at their destination. Her aunt’s house was simple enough, with cheery yellow side paneling and a tiled roof that was a warm brown color. A large tree grew in the front yard, and various types of flowers bloomed along the wide of the house and the small paved walkway leading from the driveway to the front porch, which was painted white. A cozy porch swing shifted back and forth in the light breeze. This is my new home, Haneul told herself firmly as she unbuckled her seat belt and slid out of the car, walking to the back to unload her things. Dragging along a suitcase, she followed her aunt wordlessly into the house. It was quite nicely decorated, with all-wood flooring and department store furniture. The whole atmosphere was sunny, and she tried her best to feel the welcoming and warm aura that the house offered. You will be happy here, she told herself before in a determined breath and following her aunt down the hall to her new room.

It was painted blue, and already had a nice queen-sized bed, a vanity, and a bedside table. There was a walk-in closet, too, and a bathroom connected right to her room.

“This was a guest bedroom,” her aunt explained, then laughed. “I’m not sure why I bothered furnishing one, since I never have guests! You get settled in, dear, and I’ll go get the rest of your things.”

“I can help,” Haneul offered, but her aunt shook her hand dismissively.

“No, dear, don’t worry. I’m having the neighbor send his sons over to help. They’re quite cute, you know,” she teased suggestively with a wink, but if there was anything that Haneul was not in the mood for, it was romantic advances. She held the black feather over her heart and sunk down onto the bare mattress to gather herself as her cheerful, oblivious aunt bounced out of the room. You can’t think about him, she told herself as tears splashed down onto her hands. It was all coming back now, the sweet kiss on the dock and the even sweeter kiss in the graveyard, the way he smiled so gently at her and took her into his arms- and the look of pure heartbreak on his face when she had told him she was leaving. It’s over now, you said what you said, and there’s no turning back… It’s for the best. He’s safe now, Dong-woo won’t hurt him as long as we’re apart. It never could have worked out anyway! He’s a demon, and you’re human.

The sound of her aunt’s happy chatter drew her out of her silent pep-talk, and she wiped her eyes hurriedly with the backs of her sleeve as the woman strolled in, followed by two well-built boys carrying boxes. “Ah, sweetie, meet our neighbors. They go to your school,” she chirped blissfully.

“Hello,” Haneul tried to smile, but the words came out sullenly. The boys looked at each other before offering polite greetings, but they didn’t stick around to chat with their new neighbor. As soon as they were finished unloading Haneul’s possessions, they bid her aunt farewell and made a hasty exit. Haneul couldn’t blame them; she wouldn’t want to talk to a moody, heartbroken girl either. The boys’ father came over after a few minutes, and Haneul could hear him and her aunt chatting idly in the entryway as she busied herself with unpacking her things. She had far too few clothes for her closet, she found; she barely took up half of the space. As she finished hanging up the last shirt, her aunt bobbed in, seemingly finished with entertaining her guest.

“Oh, now that won’t do,” she frowned with a fingertip on her lips. “A girl like you should have more clothes than that! Did those people deprive you?” Haneul shrugged as she squatted down to line up her shoes on the closet floor, pair by pair.

“I’ve never had many clothes,” she shrugged. “All I needed was my school uniform. I didn’t go out much on the weekends; I mostly studied, and helped Mom with her embroidery and sewing,” she explained quietly. Her aunt pursed her lips slightly.

“What about going out with your friends, dear?” she inquired as Haneul exited the closet and began unloading her school supplies onto the vanity. She didn’t have a desk like at Sandeul’s, so the vanity would have to double as her work station.

“I had Sandeul,” she answered. I had Sanduel… And now he’s gone. “I didn’t bother making friends… Until recently. After Mom died.” Gongchan, and Jinyoung… and… Baro… Her hand faltered as she moved to set down a glass cup filled with her pencils and pens, dropping it and scattering the contents all over the vanity while the glass cracked into two. I made that for Mom and Dad when I was four, she thought blankly as she held up the two halves of the cup, a crude ceramic they had made taking an art class at a local gallery. They had been so proud of me, doting on me, even though it was really just a lump of clay with an indention in it, she thought with a small smile. It was one of the few memories she had of her father.

“Oh, dear. Don’t worry about that. I’ll get some super-glue, and we’ll fix that right up,” her aunt tutted, and it took all of Haneul’s willpower to relinquish the ruined cup to the woman. She carried out of the room, to set it down somewhere, while the girl continued to unload her meager amount of possessions into her new room. As her aunt was returning, she was spreading out the beautifully embroidered comforter onto the bed. “Oh, honey, that doesn’t match. We’ll have to get you a new one,” she sighed, moving to take the comforter.

“No!” Haneul screeched angrily and yanked the soft blanket away from her aunt’s hands. The woman looked intensely shocked, blinking rapidly as she stared at her angry, panting niece. Calm down, Haneul snapped at herself, forcing the anger to ebb away. “My mother made this. I’m not getting rid of it,” she insisted firmly, but calmly. “It doesn’t really matter to me if it matches or not.”

“O-oh,” her aunt sputtered nervously. “I’m sorry, dear, I didn’t know…” she murmured, and Haneul felt bad for snapping at her. She dropped the comforter and walked over to take her aunt’s hands.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled,” she apologized. “It’s just… This is a lot for me. Please be patient. I’ve had a rough time of it lately, and this on top of things… It’s a lot for me to handle right now.” The woman gazed at her silently for a long moment, then smiled kindly and reached up to pat her on the top of the head.

“Yes, dear, I understand. How about I let you finish unpacking while I make us nome nice herbal tea?” she offered, and Haneul nodded, the prospect of hot tea very enticing. Her aunt smiled at her once more before exiting the room, leaving the girl to her own devices. Trying to keep busy lest her despair encroach on her once more, she finished unpacking slowly and organized her things this way and that to see what she liked best. Soon, all that was left was to hang up the feathers. She placed one on the back of the door, like she had before, and the other she hung above her bed, right over her head. It comforted her, strangely, like the demon was watching over her protectively. You’re gone now, but you’ll still always be with me, she thought with a shaky smile as she the soft black fibers of the feather. Then her aunt’s call echoed down the hall, and Haneul hopped quickly off of the bed to join her aunt in the kitchen.

It was late into the night before she was able to return. There were many things to discuss, like registering Haneul for school and the possibility of her getting a job, and how she was going to contribute to the household. The entire conversation was draining, and as Haneul tottered into her room and closed the door behind her, she collapsed face-first onto the bed without even bothering to change into pajamas. She curled up on top of the comforter, already drifting off to sleep, when her phone rang obnoxiously in her pocket. She rolled onto her back and fished it out to swipe the “answer” button.

“Haneul!” Sandeul chirped happily on the other end of the line. “How are you? Are you settling in well?” he asked breathlessly. Haneul sat up, wide awake now that her best friend had decided to call. She crossed her legs underneath her, one arm hugging her pillow while the other held her phone to her ear.

“Yeah. I was actually about to go to bed,” she answered with a yawn.

“How is she?”

“She’s really nice. It’s a nice neighborhood, and I saw my new school, and a lot of new places I’d like to check out,” she explained.

“But…?” he asked slowly, and she felt her bottom lip quiver. He knows me too well, she thought with a bitter smile, squeezing the plush material of the pillow tightly. Tears splashed down onto the fabric. I thought I was done crying, she sniffed in disgust, but it was too late. They were flowing now, fast and strong, and there was nothing that she could do to stop them.

“I want to be happy here,” she choked out. “I do. It’s just… It’s so hard, Sandeul. I miss you already, and I miss living with you… I miss our school, even though they all talk about me. I miss our library with the comfy chairs, and the little book shop with the cat named Kimchi, and the park we used to play in when we were kids, and the beach with the boardwalk, and… and Baro.” She buried her face into the tear-stained pillow, sobbing. “I miss Baro. I didn’t want to leave things like that…!”

“I know,” Sandeul sighed comfortingly. “I know, Haneul. This isn’t how any of us wanted things to work out,” he murmured, and she heard the bedsprings shift as he lied back on his bed. “It doesn’t change that it happened, though. As hard as is, we just have to keep on going… That’s what I think Baro would want for you, anyway. I still don’t get what his deal was, but, maybe it was for the best that you guys left it that way,” he frowned.

Haneul thought of their passionate kiss, of the heartbreak on his expression, the way his entire body shook. No. No, that wasn’t, she thought, but she couldn’t refute Sandeul when he knew nothing of the situation. Still, the rest of his advice rang true. I have to move on. I can’t fall back into that dark place again… Even if he’s no longer by my side, Baro will always be my something good. I have to use the strength he gave me… And make something of myself. For him, for Sandeul, for Mother… and for myself.

Haneul and Sandeul chatted for about an hour before they agreed to talk again tomorrow, and she hung up the phone and plugged it into the charger, setting on the bedside table. She changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, reaching up to hold the black feather over her head for a brief second.

Baro, are you out there? Are you safe? I hope that you are, she called out to him silently. I’m safe too. I think I’m going to be happy here.

I hope, wherever you are… You find a way to break your curse of demonhood, and that you make something of yourself… Find something that makes you happy, and live a good life.

That’s what I want for you.