The counselor raised her head, her eyes open wide in slight surprise, as Haneul gently closed the office door behind her and sat primly in the plush seat across from the woman’s desk. Since her last visit, the amount of paperwork had multiplied exponentially; stacks of loose papers were placed haphazardly across the wooden surface, tilting and leaning so precariously that Haneul wondered how the air conditioner kicking on didn’t destabilize the entire assortment and send it tumbling in an avalanche. The counselor smiled wryly at the girl’s astute observations, pushing a small stack out of the way to get a clear look at the girl.

“Exam season, and anxiety is through the roof,” she explained drily as she retrieved her notepad and pencil. The woman tucked a few flyaway hairs into her bun, leaning back in her seat to stare levelly at Haneul. “You seem to be doing much better already, Haneul,” she observed with a happy smile. “So, you have found your ‘something good’?”

“Yes,” the girl responded with a slight blush, the black-haired demon flashing into her mind. Nowadays, even the thought of him sent her into a tizzy. Since the business with Dong-woo, the demon had been checking in on her quite frequently, escorting her from class to class, walking her home, and even sometimes stealing into her window, which she now left open all the time. As time went on, she had become gradually accustomed to the daily visits, and looked forward to them; they talked about all manners of things, their likes and dislikes, Haneul’s hopes and dreams- things they hadn’t bothered to learn about each other previously. From an outsider’s perspective, we must act like a new couple. The thought sent her cheeks afire, and she shrunk down slightly into the plush chair, hoping that the counselor wouldn’t notice; the woman had keen eyes, however, and she smiled knowingly at her patient.

“I see. That is very good. How has your mood been?” she inquired as she scribbled a note onto the paper pad.

“I think it has improved,” she answered honestly. “I don’t feel as hopeless anymore. I’m starting to enjoy things that I used to- reading, talking walks, cloud-watching.” All with Baro, she finished silently. “I’ve been able to focus in class, so much so that my grades are better than they were before.” That result had surprised her the most, for before her mother’s death, she had poured her heart and soul into her schoolwork, always acting at 110%- now, she was probably averaging about 90%, between all the things she did with Baro, Jinyoung, and Sandeul.

“I’m not surprised,” the counselor mused. “You were exhausting yourself before; now that you’ve allowed yourself to take breaks to do things you enjoy, you give your mind time to rest, which is vital to educational success,” the intelligent observer explained, scribbling more notes. “Do you think of the incident at all?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “Though, it doesn’t bother me as much anymore,” she clarified. The counselor raised an eyebrow at this, making Haneul feel slightly nervous. “I don’t think about it as often-just when my mind wanders to it. It stills makes me sad, but I don’t burst into tears. I just put it out of my mind,” she sighed. “I do something to make it go away- like read.”

“I see,” the counselor nodded, adding a long scrawl of writing to her notes. She then clapped her hands together, startling the slightly anxious girl. “Perfect. I think we are ready to move on to the next phase of your healing, Haneul!” she grinned. Haneul blinked, having not expected such an answer.

“Really? It’s only been two weeks, though. Don’t these kinds of things usually take longer?” she asked as she cocked her head to the side, unsure.

“It depends on the person, really,” the counselor answered with a wave of her manicured hand. “Some people, it takes a few weeks, others, a few years. You are making remarkable progress. I mean, just look at yourself in the mirror,” she commanded, gesturing for her to stand and look at herself in the full-length body mirror hanging on the wall. Confused, she did as she was told, taking her place in front of the mirrored glass. She saw herself, but saw nothing strange.

“I’m not quite understanding the point of this,” she admitted.

“When you first walked in, you had bags under your eyes from crying and lack of sleep. Your complexion was tanking, your hair was unkempt. Your uniform was crumpled,” the counselor answered brusquely, making Haneul frown at the unflattering image. She turned back to the mirror, and the counselor rose to stand behind her, gently placing her hands on her shoulders. “Now, look- do you see? I see a girl who is radiant with happiness,” she said softly, and Haneul’s eyes widened softly. It was true. Haneul had never thought herself as beautiful, but as she stared into her own reflection, she began to see a little of what Baro must have seen in her. Her skin was clearer than it had been for a long time; in fact, it was practically glowing. Her hair had been freshly shampooed and brushed that morning, rolling like waves over her shoulders, and her brown eyes shone with happiness she never knew she could feel. A smile crossed over her lips as she gazed into the image.

“I can’t believe it’s me,” she whispered.

“It is,” the counselor affirmed, giving her a reassuring smile. “That girl there is one who is strong, and one who is ready to face the challenges of the road ahead.” The woman returned to her seat behind the desk, prompting the slightly amazed and breathless Haneul to follow suit.

“So, what is the next step?” she asked curiously.

“You must face the problem at the root of your feelings. Up until now, you have been running away- even now, you shove it to the side when it comes to your mind, because it is still too difficult for you to acknowledge the truth,” the woman responded with a grim look. “Haneul, when you are ready, I want you to take a visit to your mother’s grave.”

Haneul was floored.

She stared wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the counselor, struggling to process her command. Visit… her grave? She thought numbly. Just the idea sent her stomach twisting in knots. She hadn’t been to the cemetery since the funeral, and she barely even remembered that experience- it was a haze, a blur of sobs and quiet brooding where people without faces offered her words of encouragement she couldn’t hear. The only thing she did remember was Sandeul by her side, supporting her weight when it became too much to bear, and carrying her to the car when she finally fell apart as they lowered her mother into the ground. It was an awful memory, and it came bubbling up so quickly that she felt sick to her stomach. “Haneul,” snapped a sharp voice, and she jerked back to reality to find the counselor staring hard at her. “Do you want to get better?” the woman asked levelly. Haneul didn’t hesitate.

“I do,” she sighed heavily. The woman’s expression softened.

“It doesn’t have to be today. Slowly work up the courage, if you must,” she murmured, standing and walking around the desk to take the girl’s trembling hands in her own. “As hard as this is, it is not something you can run from forever. You must feel all the pain, every bit of it, before you can accept what has happened. It is a long, arduous road- but it is traversable. Do you understand?” she explained gently. Haneul nodded slowly, her stomach untwisting itself as she smiled weakly up at the woman. “Good. You may go now,” the woman told her and returned to her maze of paper stacks, pulling one forward to begin rigorously filing and typing. Suddenly tired, Haneul passed the rest of her day in a blur, finding herself lying on her back in her bed when her mind finally returned to her.

“Mother…” she murmured as she stared up at the ceiling. She didn’t turn her head as the rush of feathers came from her window, as she was used to the sound. She just stared up at the white wash above her as Baro plopped down on the bed beside her, laying on his side as he propped his head in his hand and stared down at her with a concerned expression.

“Hey. What are you thinking about? Did the counselor’s appointment not go that well?” he asked with a frown.

“It did, and it didn’t,” she responded vaguely. “She said I’ve made amazing progress,”

“Yeah, so what’s so bad about that?” he interrupted in confusion.

“She also said I was ready for the next step. She wants me to visit my mom’s grave,” she finished, and the gravity of the situation clicked in the demon’s head. He remained silent, rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling alongside her. She didn’t know what thoughts were running through his mind; to be frank, she didn’t know what thoughts were running through her own mind. It was like her brain was trapped in a fog, a gray area that mirrored her hazy conviction. She glanced down as she felt warmth envelop her hand, finding that the demon had gripped her hand gently.

“Well, that’s it then. We should go,” he asserted.

“’We’?” she inquired, glancing up at him. He had that familiar grin on his face, the one that made her heart flutter every time she saw it; yet it was different somehow, softer. She liked it.

“Yeah, ‘we.’ You think I would make you go alone? It’s hard enough to do, let alone the maniac angel that’s on your tail,” he huffed. Haneul pursed her lips. She hadn’t even considered Dong-woo into the equation; finding her in such a compromised state, however, would be the perfect opportunity to wreak havoc on her mindset, and misery always did attract demons. If Baro is with me, I won’t have to worry about that, she noted, and the thought reassured her. She gave his hand a light squeeze, a smile coming to her lips.

“Okay. Let’s do it, Baro,” she murmured, and then cried out as he hopped off the bed and jerked on her arm. “Hey, wait!” she cried as he pulled her toward the room.

“What? You said we would do it,” he frowned as he cocked his head to the side. He’s so adorable when he does that, she thought dreamily, then shook her head to clear the intrusive thoughts. Focus on the issue!

“I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready,” she replied hesitantly. “Can I just have some time?” She thought he would be obliging as he normally was, but his expression became determined, and he tugged her once more to the window. “Hey! Baro!”

“It’s now or never, Haneul,” was all he said before he wrapped his arms around her and dove out of the window. As they plummeted the short distance to the ground, he unfurled his wings with a mighty flap, catching the wind and catching an updraft that rose into the sky. The sun was setting, casting the city into an orange glow. It was so beautiful that Haneul temporarily forgot her concerns, and she merely stared down as the shadows in the city stretched into impossible shapes and the orange light bathed the earth. The sky shimmered as the sun sunk towards the horizon, a yellow ball whose edges blurred and melted into the multicolored sky. Yellow bled into orange which bled into red which bled into purple, forming a perfect transition of color. She spent so long admiring it that she wasn’t aware that they had arrived at the cemetery until the demon planted his feet into the green grass and dropped her lightly to the ground.

“Oh,” she murmured involuntarily as she tore her eyes away from the beautiful scene to face the one before her. The cemetery was still, with them being the only visitors. Row after row of cold, grey stones were lined before her, standing erect like soldiers saluting the setting sun. The light splashed over the stone, but it seemed cold, spawning long shadows that made the graveyard seem ominous. She took Baro’s hand before stepping back nervously.

“Please, can we come another time?” she begged.

“Haneul,” he whispered softly. “Don’t run from this. Trust me.” Something about his voice made her swallow her fear, and she took a shaky breath before she gave his hand a tight squeeze and released it. She slowly began walking through the rows, as if guided by an unseen force, until she stopped at a pristine white-gray tombstone. The ground was still freshly turned, with little shoots of grass forcing their way through the dirt. The flowers had long wilted away, however, expect for those in little clay vase. Sandeul, she recalled.

“It’s the one we made together when we took that cheap pottery class, remember?” he had chuckled as he had knelt down in front of the tombstone, placing the lumpy, glaze-coated creation beside the collection of ornate vases filled with bright flowers. “I thought she would like it. I got her favorite flowers, too.”

“Blue irises,” Haneul had responded as she stared down at the vase, numbly, unseeing.

“Yeah. Apparently, they mean ‘hope,’” he had added as he stood and rubbed his hands on his pants. Hope, she had thought. How could she have had any?

The flowers had been replaced recently, and the blue irises blooming within the little, crudely-made clay vase made her smile sadly. Sandeul… Thank you. She kneeled down in front of the grave, aware of Baro standing off to the side with his hands in his pockets and his head bowed, as if in prayer. Perhaps that was exactly what he was doing. Taking a deep breath, she clapped her hands together and closed her eyes.

Hi, Mom. She thought silently. I… I miss you. Every day, I miss you more and more, even if I haven’t been thinking about it. As time goes on, I realize things I should have done better… I shouldn’t have shut myself away. All those times you asked me to cook curry with you, I should have agreed. All those times you asked me for approval on your designs, I should have been honest. All the times I wanted to beg you to leave… I should have. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, and she took a shaky pause, struggling to find the words. It’s hard to believe that you’re gone now… I can still see you so clearly. I can still feel you so clearly. You are with me, aren’t you? You’ve been watching over me, all this time… You brought Baro and Jinyoung and even Gongchan to me, so I wouldn’t be alone anymore, didn’t you? Thank you for that, Mom. Now, I’m doing much better… I miss you, but I’m happy. I take each day as a blessing, not a curse. Now I know what it means to enjoy life… I just wish you had been able to do that, too. I hope right now, you’re happy wherever you are, and are enjoying the freedom that comes with it. Thank you for all you have ever done for me, and I promise, I won’t take this gift for granted.

When she was finished, she released a shaky breath and opened her eyes. Somehow, the cemetery didn’t seem as cold anymore; as the lights of the sunset played over the area, the shadows seemed to dance, as if with the lingering joy of those who had departed. The air felt warm, and Haneul wrapped her arms around herself, feeling as if her mother herself was embracing her and thanking her for her kind words. Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her cheeks as the sun sank below the horizon, and the cold began to settle in.

“Mom,” she choked out, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I love you. I never said it enough, but I do.” Lingering for a while as she collected herself, Haneul stared at the blue irises. Hope. Now I think I understand, she thought.

“Haneul?” a tentative voice interrupted her, and she looked over her shoulder to find Baro standing awkwardly off to the side, his eyebrows knit slightly in worry. “Are you… okay?” She stood up, wiping the last of the tears from her cheeks before nodded in affirmation.

“Yes. I think I finally am okay, Baro. There’s still a tough road ahead, but… I think I finally can do it. Thank you. I couldn’t have done this without you,” she smiled. He blushed lightly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and looking away shyly.

“I was a little pushy. Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly. “I just, you know, wanted you to be happy…” The words made her heart swell. Oh, Baro… Everything Dong-woo said about you is a lie, she thought happily. He smiled back at her, holding out a hand for her to take. “Let’s go home, yeah? I’m looking forward to the next chapter of that book you’re reading. Who knew reading about a bunch of nerds going to magic school could be so exciting?” Haneul chuckled and reached forward to take his hand, but as she walked forward, she tipped over one of the pots of dead flowers. Due to the slight incline of the ground they were standing on, it rolled a few gravestones down, with a flustered Haneul chasing after it. When she finally nabbed the runaway vase, she involuntarily glanced up at the stone to check the name on it. What she saw carved into the old, weathered stone made her heart stop. Baro came jogging up behind her, and he made a choking noise.

It was Baro’s name etched into the stone.