Moonbyul exhaled, enjoying the crisp way the sharp cold felt like needles against her face.  The weather was overcast with the sky a light grey and snow gently falling down, bring the temperature even lower than usual.  But she was all smiles.  She was going on a date with Solar, after all.

 

She glanced at her watch.  Only an hour until she would be picking up the other girl in her car.  She grinned again as she stuffed her hand in her coat pocket and happily walked into the floral shop.  She had spent a long time the night before researching the top five flower sellers in Seoul and had been individually visiting each store and examining bouquets for the majority of the day.

 

Moonbyul was too excited to be embarrassed that she was nearly 1000 years old and she was getting nervous about a date.

 

But, she thought as the bell attached to the door jingled, it was Solar.  She was going on a date with her.

 

Brushing at her bangs with a quick hand, she glanced around the store curiously, looking for a staff member.

 

“Hello?” she asked tentatively, knocking lightly on the front desk.  She peered into the back room but it was too dark to see anyone.  With a sigh she glanced around at the lush array of flowers, smiling as she saw some bright yellow sunflowers in the back.  The colors were so vibrant that she couldn’t help but think about the moment when Solar had smiled up at her, so close that they were sharing a breath as a shower of flowers gently fell down.

 

“How romantic.”

 

Moonbyul glanced up and saw a woman enter the room with a finger wave, red lips pulled back in an almost feral smile.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You’re here to buy flowers?  I think that’s so romantic.”

 

Moonbyul swallowed, trying to ignore the strange feeling of nervousness as she stuffed her hands in her pockets with a nod.

 

“Yeah… I was looking for something bright and beautiful.  I’m amazed the flowers here are so fresh since it’s in the middle of winter!”

 

“We have a greenhouse out in the suburbs that we use to grow all sorts of flowers. Rain, snow, or shine.”

 

“Well that’s very dedicated of you…” Moonbyul glanced down at the woman’s name tag briefly, “Hwasa-ssi.”

 

“Only the best for our customers,” Hwasa replied with another grin.  She pulled up on her black apron’s shoulder strap although the thin strip did nothing to hide her noticeably bare shoulders. 

 

“Aren’t you cold?”

 

“I’m warm with the love of romantics such as yourself.  Bringing flowers on a date is a practice that I’m happy to see hasn’t gone out of style.”

 

“I feel the same.”

 

They shared a brief smile as Hwasa began to grab shears and a roll of thick butcher paper.

 

“So, the way this works is I make a bouquet based on your description of the person you’re giving these to.  You can give me your input on the arrangement as we go along but I hope you can put some trust in me.”

 

Moonbyul smiled at the words, resting her arms on the front desk as Hwasa looked right at her with a friendly eyebrow arch.

 

“Sounds great.”

 

“Well then, tell me about this person you’re going on a date with.”

 

Moonbyul laughed, glancing down at her sleeve and picking at the frayed wool.

 

“My date is… an extraordinary person.  Like sunshine.  They… when this person smiles I can’t look away.  I want them to smile forever.”

 

“You want this person to always be happy? Have you know this person for a long while?”

 

“We’ve known each other for a long time but she doesn’t remember the first time we met.”

 

Hwasa made a thoughtful noise as she began to grab an array of flowers to lay on the butcher paper, shaking the excess water from their stems with an expert flick of the wrist.

 

“How old were you when you two first met?”

 

“Fifteen.  Well I was technically fifteen.  They were sixteen.”

 

“Ah young love.  It must have been brief for this person to not remember you now.”

 

“I suppose our encounter was brief in the grand scheme of things.”

 

Moonbyul looked up and tried to not make her expression as wistful as she felt.  She had spent far too long thinking of the past to let herself get back into it again.  Her bloody and melancholy past.

 

“Do you remember what was the first thing you said to each other?”

 

“Well, we didn’t get a chance to speak to each other that time.  My parents and their mother made it hard to talk.  I was very shy and they were even shyer.  I think I only looked up at them twice.  To say hello and to say goodbye.”

 

“How adorable.  I can’t imagine you doing something like that now.”

 

“They make me feel young and shy like a teenager whenever I see them,” Moonbyul confessed shamelessly, watching curiously as Hwasa pulled a clump of small whitish pink flowers out of the display.  She recognized them but she forgot the name.

 

“What are those called?”

 

“Spice Viburnum.  They’re from the viburnum family and this type only grows in Korea.  They smell wonderful.  There is a sad story about why these flowers are white with bits of red on them, though.”

 

“Oh? A flower myth? I don’t hear those too often.”

 

Hwasa shrugged a bare shoulder as she put on a pair of circular glasses from the pocket of her apron.  Carefully she began to snip at the stems.

 

“This story is from Goryeo. Nearly a thousand years ago.”

 

Moonbyul stilled but kept her eyes trained on Hwasa’s skilled hands sorting trough the flowers and tenderly placing each stem on the butcher paper.

 

“There is the story of a fierce soldier who had notoriety in the kingdom as the best swordsman in the whole land.  All feared him for as long as he held a sword in his hand, his enemy always perished.  But this scary soldier had one weakness.  His beautiful wife.”

 

A chill went through Moonbyul as she slowly tipped her head back and gazed at Hwasa’s face.  But the other woman was still concentrating on the arrangement.

 

“His beautiful wife was a princess who was the king’s half sister.  She was loved dearly by the king but even more dearly by this soldier.  Did you know that when she heard he was returning from war she would stand outside their house the whole day and wait for him?  Once she even held him in her arms, the blood and grime of battle staining her beautiful clothes.”

 

Moonbyul’s mouth was dry as she scrutinized the woman before her, face warm with a mixture of anger and terror.

 

“But this beautiful lady, this kind princess had one weakness.  Despite how strong and good her warrior husband was, she could not escape the intrigue of the palace.  And even though her former ties with her half brother, the king, were once good, the king became suspicious of all his relatives.  Including his once beloved half sister.  And so, while the soldier was returning from battle, this lovely woman was subject unknowingly to the wrath of the mad king.  In a fit of rage he stabbed her with his sword and stormed the palace, going on a killing spree.”

 

“Please… please stop,” Moonbyul whispered, not even trying to hide the tears that trickled out of her eyes.  Finally Hwasa looked up at her and twisted into something resembling an apologetic smile.  But she kept going.

 

“And so in the palace courtyard, the general, looking to help with the civil unrest of the capital, found his beloved slain at the palace steps, her blood staining her beautiful silk clothes.”

 

Moonbyul let out a shuddering breath as she closed her eyes and remembered the warm stickiness of blood.  And those brown eyes so sad but so loving.

 

“The general was mad with grief as he scooped up his dying wife in his arms and tried to run to get her to the royal physicians.  But his bride knew that there was no hope for her.  So she asked him to grab her a handful of these Spice Viburnum flowers, as a last token of their love.  And her dying blood gave these flowers the color they have today.”

 

A pained whimper escaped Moonbyul’s mouth as she locked eyes with Hwasa who had neatly finished wrapping the flowers, tying the butcher paper together with a light blue silk ribbon.  The same color as the clothes she had worn as Moonbyul held her, dying with a smile and those stupid flowers clutched loosely to her chest.

 

“Who on earth are you?”

 

“Shouldn’t I ask who you are, General Moon Byulyi?  The scared girl who had to pretend to be a man for her father’s honor?  The scourge of the barbarians constantly knocking at Goryeo’s borders?  The woman who’s only good thing about her was the pure love she had for her wife? Or the goblin, punished for the murder of thousands and the catalyst for political unrest and the murder of your beloved’s half brother, the king?”

 

Moonbyul snarled and easily conjured her sword from thin air, time freezing still as she rested the sharp blade against the underside of Hwasa’s jaw.

 

“I asked… who are you?”

 

Hwasa just gave another infuriating smile and rested her hand against the blade.  With her free hand she slid the bouquet toward Moonbyul.

 

“All those things I told you just now were a lie, General.  We both know that even though that’s how you remember it, history was nothing like that.  You were no horrifying monster and she was no perfect martyr. There is a reason heaven is punishing her.  And her sin is just as bad as yours.”

 

“Does it matter? If I remember it this way, doesn’t it become the truth?”

 

With a flick of Hwasa’s wrist the sword exploded into dust.  Moonbyul gaped, dumbfounded at her empty hand.

 

“I guarantee, Moon Byulyi, that I as the goddess, Samshin Grandmother, see you.  I know your heart and I also know that girl’s.  Please think carefully before you pursue her again.”

 

“Samshin Grandmother… I,” Moonbyul her lips as she reached forward and grabbed the bouquet.  The goddesses eyes seemed incredibly disappointed as she pulled them from the desk and held the flowers loosely at her side.

 

“I can’t stop loving her.  Even if know she can’t remember the past we shared, I can’t stop trying to be with her.  Heaven was cruel to us once.  Do you have to be cruel again?”

 

“Moon Byulyi, even still you delude yourself?”

 

“It’s not delusion if it is my truth.”

 

Samshin Grandmother sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.  Those vibrant red lips twisted at the corners in admiration or exasperation.

 

“She’s going to be up for renewal as a grim reaper soon.  She’ll be given an opportunity to remember her old memories if she wants to.  Maybe you can finally hear her side of the story and stop putting all of the suffering and blame on yourself.”

 

“It’s her choice.  If there were reasons that she doesn’t wish to suffer the pain of remembering, I will not force her.  Have a good rest of your day, Hwasa-ssi.”

 

Moonbyul left a handful of crumpled bills on the counter and with a bow left the shop.

 

Samshin Grandmother barked out a laugh as she watched the stubborn goblin leave.

 

“What a lovesick fool.”

 

———————————

 

Moonbyul sat on a park bench, the bouquet of flowers placed gently next to her thigh.  She let out a sigh as she glanced at the sky, dark in connection with her terrible mood.

 

“What a meddlesome goddess,” she muttered dryly.  Scratching at her thigh irritably, she glanced at the flowers.  And she couldn’t help herself as she reached forward and pulled the bouquet to her nose.  Inhaling deeply, she let herself remember.

  

———————————

rewind

 

Moon Byulyi was born as the eldest child of her father’s second wife.  She was the sixth child her father had and out of a desperation to continue the family name and to have a successor, he decided that Moon Byulyi would become the first son.  That he would be celebrated and accepted as a boy. 

 

She had no choice.

 

And so she was raised as her father’s first and only son.  Her father teaching her to read and write from the classics.  Riding a horse and expertly notching an arrow.  Taking the rigor of military decorum to heart.

 

Moon Byulyi lived for her family because that was what she was told her sole purpose for her existence was.  Her father reminded her constantly that she owed everything to the family.

 

But she knew deep down under the respect and devotion to her father, that he should be thankful to her too.  Because of her he could proudly walk through the palace with her at his heels, bartering for marriage negotiations and the promise of new land and wealth.  Now he no longer had to give his girls and his wealth away.  He could take for himself for once.

 

“We have found a match for you,” her father stated gravely one night, his new silk robes glittering in the glow of the candle light.  “The king has graciously allowed for a marriage between you and one of his youngest princesses.  She comes from the wealthy Kim clan.  Her mother is known far and wide for her beauty.  Apparently the daughter will surpass her in that regard.”

 

Byulyi just nodded once.  Another decision was made for her and she would just have to accept it. 

 

And so at the young age of fifteen, she waited with her parents outside their humble house as two royal palanquins slowly came down the road.  Byulyi marveled at the fresh lacquer finish of the wood glinting in the spring light.  Large men gently had set the two palanquins down in the dirt in front of her home and the doors had been pulled back.  The first woman who stepped out was covered in a beautifully sewn green silk gown, her hair piled ornately at the top of her head. 

 

Even though Byulyi was still a soldier, training for the royal guard, she had heard the rumors of Concubine Kim’s beauty.  Seeing the proud looking woman with lips as red as blood and a face as pale as the moon, she was not disappointed by the rumors.  But it was when the second palanquin’s door was pulled back that her heart stopped.

 

This girl, who was to be her bride, was by no means the heart stopping beauty that her mother was.  There was no sharp edge of raw to her as she stepped gently from her seat, standing in a turquoise hanbok and her hair pulled back into a long braid.  But it was her eyes that were so clear and the smile she flashed as she looked up at the blossoms of the tree in front of the house.  Byulyi felt her breath catch in . 

 

She should have known then that this girl would be her downfall.

 

“Greet your future bride, Byulyi-ah!” instructed her father sternly.  And Byulyi took a moment to feel the other girl look at her, feel the warmth of the sun on her face, before bowing formally.

 

———————————

forward

 

Her wife’s name was Kim Yongsun.  Byulyi would curl the name around as she would whisper it at night.  She practiced saying those words over and over, committing them to memory as the moon was her witness. 

 

For a whole year there was preparations for the wedding.  She tried to ignore the whispers as she would swing her sword and practice.  With each expert she could hear the insidious words.

 

“Didn’t you hear that the King is punishing Lady Kim for her trying to poison the Queen? That greedy got what she deserved for trying to be so power hungry.”

 

“So that’s why her daughter is being married off to that nobody soldier’s son? Did you see that boy? He’s so scrawny!  I don’t even know how he can carry a sword!”

 

“Apparently he’s going to marry that Concubine’s daughter.  That lucky bastard.  If that girl grows up to look anything like her mother than he’s going to view this marriage as a gift from heaven.”

 

“Well I wouldn’t want to touch that scary woman’s daughter with a longsword.  What if she’s just as bad as her mother?”

 

Maybe Byulyi was stupid as she closed her ears to those words.  Ignoring every harsh criticism of her betrothed, she would just cut harder and harder at the practice dummy. 

 

Her hard work paid off when she was able to pass a military examination, elevating her rank from a common soldier to a captain.  But as she looked at the list posted at the palace gates with a smile, it wasn’t that moment of pride that she remembered as she saw her name written in black ink in first place.  It was seeing out of the corner of her eye a court lady gesturing furtively behind a post for her to come over.

 

“What is it?” she asked, trying to deepen her voice as the young girl grabbed her wrist and started to drag her somewhere within the palace.

 

“My lady wishes to see you.”

 

“Your lady?”

 

“Your future wife, Kim Yongsun?”

 

Byulyi felt like her legs were made of lead as she tripped over her feet.  As she was being dragged, she glanced down at her clothes, assessing the dark burgundy silk of her long shirt and pants.  It was her most dashing outfit that her mother had sewn for her.  Heaven seemed to be on her side.

 

But even though she was dressed well it could not make up for her embarrassing behavior as she was finally dragged to a small alcove in the palace gardens.  Yongsun’s back was to her as she appeared to be playing with something in her hands.

 

“My lady, Captain Moon, is here.”

 

“Captain?”

 

And she turned around with such a big smile that left Moonbyul dumbstruck. 

 

“Is it true? You’re a captain now?”

 

Byulyi swallowed as Yongsun took a step closer, before remembering proper decorum and keeping a bit of distance. 

 

“Yes, that is true.”

 

“I’m so glad! When my mother told me about your examination I was so worried that things wouldn’t turn out well.”

 

“My lady went to the temple and did 108 bows for you success,” the court lady murmured behind her hand with a giggle.

 

Byulyi smiled as Yongsun whined and swatted at the giggling girl.  The embarrassed smile and flush to her round cheeks was a sight she wanted to commit to memory.

 

“I wanted to give you this as a good luck charm but I couldn’t find you before the exam started.”

 

“Because she overslept.”

 

Before Yongsun could open in protest, Byulyi just chuckled and reached for the other girl’s hand.  She ignored her own rising blush in her cheeks as she gently opened up her clenched palm and saw a beautiful red ribbon, intricately stitched with gold threaded design. 

 

“I w-wanted to give you a token.  So that even though I wouldn’t be with you… you could hold this and think of me!”

 

Byulyi gazed at the other girl, marveling at her smile and the kindness in her eyes.  She felt starved for that kind look, wanting desperately to see it forever.

 

“Captain Moon, you shouldn’t hold my lady’s hand like that since you’re not properly married yet!”

 

Instantly the two sprang apart with matching blushes.  But when Byulyi turned and looked at Yongsun she realized they also had matching smiles.

 

———————————

 

forward

 

Byulyi never had to tell Yongsun she was a girl.  She remembered feeling terrified on their wedding night, sitting in her heavy ceremonial robes as Yongsun was escorted into their shared room with two maids flanking her sides.  The wedding gown was heavy and the head ornamentation made it even worse. 

 

They gazed at each other in silence, finally alone with a tension heavy between them.

 

“Should we?”  Yongsun tilted her head pointedly at Byulyi’s heavy ceremonial robe.  The shaking must have been obvious as she raised a hand the pull off her outer coat.

 

“Can I speak frankly?” 

 

Byulyi paused in the middle of shrugging off her first layer.

 

“Your father… he told me that you're not really… that you’re not actually a boy.”

 

She felt constrict at the words, her mind completely blank.  All the work to present a facade of a devoted son was ruined.  And how on earth would Yongsun look at her now?

 

“I see.”

 

“And I’m… I was really shocked at first.  But I think we can make the best out of this situation.  I think we can still be happy. Even if we don’t have to do the things that husbands and wives do on their wedding night.”

 

Byulyi felt her eyes fill with tears and she didn’t try to stop them from overflowing and trickling down her cheeks.

 

“Oh no! Did I say something wrong?” Instantly Yongsun was at her side, wiping at her cheeks worriedly with her thumbs.

 

Letting out a wet laugh, Byulyi shook her head as she gently grasped at the other girl’s wrists.  Her heart beat loudly at their proximity but she didn’t try to think about what that meant as she pulled those soft hands into her lap. 

 

“I’ve just never had someone know about… me.  And accept me for who I really am.”

 

“Byulyi-ah…”

 

“So thank you.  I’m sorry that I am not a man.  But I’ll try to be someone good to you.  I’ll protect your honor and make sure you’re someone who’s proud to be married to me.”

 

And Yongsun just smiled, threading their hands together.  Byulyi felt so warm. 

 

“You don’t have to make me proud to marry you.  I’m honored to be your wife.”

 

And so Yongsun and Byulyi took off their uncomfortable wedding clothes, talking all night long in simple white shifts, until the sun rose back in the sky.

———————————

forward

 

A soldier fought in wars for the dignity of their sovereign and country.  Byulyi was no different as she was sent to Goryeo’s border, heavy with armor and a sword belted to her hip.  She bid her father and mother goodbye with formal bows, trying to ignore the realization that this was the first moment her father looked at her with pride warm in his eyes.  But he didn’t really see her. 

 

Not the same way Yongsun did.

 

They had been married for a year.  A year of pleasant friendship and simple walks around the grounds of her family’s house.  Secret escapes to the outside walls of the exciting marketplace.  Byulyi hadn’t stopped laughing at Yongsun’s wide eyes, amazed at the sights she hadn’t been able to see, locked within the gilded cage of the palace.  Sometimes she would accompany her to the that place, skin itching with the judgmental eyes of court ladies and scholar-officials alike.  But it didn’t matter where they were or what they were doing.  As long as she was with Yongsun there was always good conversation and laughter to be had. 

 

She was waiting outside for her in the garden.  Byulyi had no words to say as she just watched Yongsun for a moment.  She was dressed in a simple long blue robe, her hair tied back with no intricate twisting or braiding.  Although her cheeks were still round she had gained an elegant profile and jaw that left Byulyi breathless.  She was so beautiful and so achingly sad in that moment she could not help but fall in love with Yongsun.

 

“Yongsun-ah,” she called out softly.  She saw Yongsun’s eyes widen for a moment before she wiped at her cheek distractedly.  Byulyi put on a brave smile and strode forward, the metal and boiled leather of her armor not stopping her from quickly going to Yongsun’s side.  She thoughtlessly pressed her into a firm hug, nuzzling against her temple.

 

“Will you miss me?” she asked softly into her sweet smelling hair.

 

“Of course I will!  Who will talk to me besides my maid now? Who will walk with me all over and-” Yongsun’s voice wavered into a broken whimper and Byulyi pulled her tighter against her. 

 

“You promised you’d write to me, right?”

 

“Yes of course! You have to write back when you have time.”

 

Byulyi pulled a little bit away to look down at Yongsun with a smile.  Thoughtlessly she reached forward and cupped the side of her face, brushing a thumb along the delicate skin of her cheek.

 

“Wait for me, Yongsun-ah.  I’ll be back safely.”

 

And maybe it was the heat of the moment but in a quick instant Yongsun’s lips pressed against hers.  Before she could register what had happened she heard her father calling for her to get ready to leave.  She stared dumbly at Yongsun’s blushing cheeks a hand halfway to touch her own lips.

 

Yongsun’s face seemed slack with shock as if she hadn’t even realized what she had done.  But Byulyi just smiled and squeezed her hand once.

 

“Wait for me, please.  So that I can return your favor.”

 

And Byulyi turned, striding away from Yongsun’s dumbfounded face with a huge smile straining her own cheeks.

 

She did not return for a year and a half.

 

War taught Byulyi many things.  As she worked as a Captain, tirelessly fighting a seemingly hopeless battle against the endless stream of barbarians to the north, she poured out her thoughts to Yongsun.  Her fears for the future of a Goryeo conquered by foreign powers.  Her fears of the doubt the people seemed to have in the new king who had begun to take a greater interest in building temples and engaging in amusements rather than helping the suffering citizens.  Her fears of never coming home again.

 

Maybe that was why she had fought like a mad dog at every battle.  Amid the blood, sweat, and feces of the dead and dying she had pressed onward, covered in grime and filth but her sword always held tightly in her hand.  She never retreated and was always the first Captain forward, leading the fight and not lagging behind to let her men take the brunt of the battle.

 

Funnily enough she had killed so many men during the campaign but the one she remembered most was the crying boy probably not much older than her, who cowered as she had approached.  He was apparently the grandson of the attacking tribe’s leader.  His legs were crushed under the dead horse she had shot as she had pursued him, fleeing the field of a battle clearly not in his favor.

 

She dismounted from her horse easily, drawing her sword from her belt as she approached him, trying to ignore the whimpering platitudes he choked at her in a language she could not understand. 

 

That could be me, she thought.  He could have a pretty girl who he loves, waiting for him patiently at home.  Maybe he was writing her letters too, pouring his heart and hopes out to her.  Her sword shook once in her hand.  But then she glanced behind her and saw the bloody carnage of her screaming men mixed with the dying cries of his men.  She knew that his death would be enough of a definitive victory to stop this battle and perhaps the war with this particular tribe.

 

He whimpered at her as she raised her sword. 

 

She didn’t wash the blood from her face the whole ride back to the camp.  And she did not clean the blood and filth of that battle from her armor or body as she was given orders to return to the capital.  Byulyi rode from the border all the way to Yongsun wreaking of death with her heart feeling like lead.

 

But for some strange reason when she finally saw the other girl in a beautiful hanbok as blue as the sky with hair ornately done and makeup lightly powdering her face, she hoped that Yongsun could see the monster who had killed.  That was why she had rode the entirety of the return journey in the carnage and destruction that she had caused.  She wanted Yongsun to see what she had done and be afraid of her. 

 

But of course that girl just smiled and called out her name, running forward and wrapping her in warm arms.

 

With trembling fingers Byulyi brought a hand up to return the hug, eyes filling with tears.

 

When they were alone in their shared room that she had not seen in nearly two years, Yongsun rushed forward and kissed her so hard that she saw stars.

 

———————————

forward

 

The years continued and they were relatively kind to Byulyi and Yongsun.  As they grew into their twenties Byulyi collected titles and ranks with ease.  Even though her father’s pride and the family’s wealth grew with each victory, it was Yongsun’s warm smile and nod of approval that she looked for. 

 

In their room, she would press the other girl against their bed, whispering promises between kisses.

 

“Byulyi-ah,” Yongsun whispered with a giggle, pressing her hand against Byulyi’s wanting mouth.  They had just returned from a ceremony honoring her and a few other “heroes at the border” with an overly grandiose ceremony with performers and beautiful courtesans.  Yongsun had sat at her side at Byulyi’s insistence, and because of her marriage to Yongsun, she was privileged to sit with Yongsun’s mother and her siblings.  Yongsun’s half brother would glance at her every so often and she tried to ignore the jealousy in her heart as Yongsun would always smile back.

 

She had gotten some comfort in knowing that despite how many times the king would glance at Yongsun, it was her hand that she was holding under the table throughout the whole feast.

 

“Byulyi-ah, what’s wrong? You didn’t even wait for me to get changed.”

 

She just shook her head and nosed the half-hearted hand away, continuing her kisses along the soft plane of Yongsun’s neck.

 

“I want to be with you forever,” she whispered feverishly, smiling as she felt hands tangle loosely at the base of her scalp.

 

“I’m your wife.  You’ll be with me till either of us dies, Byulyi-ah.” 

 

Suddenly, Yongsun pulled a little away and there was a strangely serious look in her eyes.  It seemed almost regretful.  Byulyi watched the look carefully under the dim light of candles before she felt Yongsun tentatively drag her thumb along her lower lip.

 

“I worry… I worry about the king.  My mother tells me that he has been putting all of our country’s treasury into building temples and useless bridges.  While you were away he was forcing soldiers to work as laborers like they were slaves.”

 

Byulyi made a thoughtful noise as she rolled off of Yongsun, letting the other girl rest her head on her shoulder and curl closer.  She absentmindedly rested a hand on her waist, her thumb up and down the softness of her side.

 

“I am a soldier.  I will not be ordered away from my duty to serve on the battlefield.”

 

Yongsun sighed into her shoulder.

 

“That is exactly why I’m worried. I heard that the soldiers who opposed him were forced into public lashings for the whole court to see.  I don’t want that to happen to you.”

 

“Your worry for me is unnecessary.  I will be safe.”

 

“You’re stubborn and the ranks give you pride.  Please, Byulyi-ah, if the king orders you to do something, you have to stay yes.  I can’t… please don’t make me a widow.”

 

Byulyi sighed and pressed a kiss to the crown of Yongsun’s head. 

 

“I’ll do what you say.  I won’t cause trouble if that’s what you want.  Maybe I can get my rank as a Captain of the military labor guard.”

 

Yongsun giggled and the sound warmed Byulyi’s chest.

 

“I’m not sure your father would be as proud of that achievement, General Moon.”

 

“Yongsun-ah I’m not a General yet.  I still have two more ranks to go.”

 

“If you do specially well in the next border campaign, I think His Majesty would have to be silly not to see that you deserve the title of General.”

 

“A general in twelve years,” Byulyi mused quietly.

 

“You are rather exceptional.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I were you.”

 

“As long as I have you by my side, it doesn’t matter what rank I have,” she whispered quietly, pulling Yongsun into another kiss.

 

———————————

forward

 

It had been two years since she had seen Yongsun.  She was returning to the capital this time, not because of a victorious campaign, but because of civil unrest.

 

Sitting in the war room tent, bent over a map designing a means of attacking the newest batch of tribal attacks, she was interrupted by a youthful courtier.

 

“General Moon!”

 

Yongsun had been wrong. It had taken fourteen years, not twelve.

 

“Yes, soldier?”

 

The boy reminded her of herself when she had first started training.  Fresh-faced and eager with a youthful blush to his cheeks.

 

“Y-your lady wife has entrusted this letter to me due to the urgent situation at the capital.”

 

The foot soldier bowed deeply as Byulyi unrolled the scroll with a curious eye.

 

“What has been happening in the capital?” she asked quietly as she scanned over Yongsun’s words.

 

“The king is calling for a complete eradication of the military and for their land to be redistributed to the king’s favored officials.”

 

Byulyi made a thoughtful noise as she glanced up from her wife’s handwriting.

 

“How have the military officials taken it? The other generals and heads of state?”

 

The boy shrugged a shoulder nervously.

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I-I think you should hurry back as soon as you can, General Moon.  The sooner the better.”

 

Byulyi scoffed as she read Yongsun’s quick scrawl I love you and hope this letter finds you safe and unharmed. Her heart ached weakly.

 

“I trust in the king.  But I will return to the capital, then.  Please tell my Colonel that I will be back in a few days.  Hopefully I’ll be able to knock some sense into those fools.”

 

And so Byulyi had arrived at the palace gates, horse heavily panting and a line of archers trained at her head.  She frowned at the open display of distrust.

 

“Let me in,” Byulyi bellowed.  She dismounted from her horse and held her arms up with her sword in hand.

 

“The king has given strict orders to not let you inside, General Moon.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“If you enter these gates you do so in open defiance of the king’s orders.”

 

“My wife has called me back to ensure the safety of our sovereign.  If that is defiance then so be it.”

 

And then the gates swung open and Byulyi stepped forward, chin held high and sword tightly clenched in hand.

 

rewind

 

It was a cold winter but Yongsun had insisted on sitting on the porch.  Byulyi had an arm around her waist and was sleepily nosing into the curling hairs at the base of her neck.  She had just gotten back after a year long campaign, and would have loved nothing more than to sleep but her wife had other ideas.

 

She had jokingly groaned when Yongsun had insisted on going outside but still she obediently got up and followed her out the door to sit on the porch.  No one was awake in the darkness of night, the only thing visible being the moon and stars. 

 

“When I was locked away in the palace I would look up at those stars and think that someone else may be looking up at them too.  And it gave me great comfort.  Whenever you leave I always look at the sky and think if you’re looking at the same sky I am, then it’s one way we can be together.”

 

“Yongsun-ah.”

 

The other woman trembled a little but still turned toward her and smiled. 

 

“No matter what happens we’ll always be able to look at the same sky, Byulyi-ah.  Please don’t forget that.”

 

She smiled at the urgency of Yongsun’s words.  Sleepily she kissed the corner of , pulling her closer.

 

“I’m back now so you don’t have to look at the sky any longer.”

 

forward

 

Passing through the many gates left Byulyi with a chill as she realized that there were no eunuchs or court ladies scrambling to stop her.  The palace felt dead.  No guards. No noise. 

 

And then the screams started.

 

Unsheathing her sword in alarm she ran toward the cries.

 

“Your Highness, please have mercy!”

 

Byulyi turned sharply toward a long hallway leading to the Queen’s palace when she saw a figure leaning against the wood of the gate in front of the king’s residence.  Even though it was from a distance she could recognize that profile from anywhere. She was sprinting toward Yongsun without thinking, flinging her sword out of her hands as she dropped to her knees beside the other girl.

 

She couldn’t even reach out to touch her because all she saw was the blood seeping through Yongsun’s small fingers and she felt a helpless sob choke .

 

“B-byulyi-ah, I was looking… at the sky.”

 

She let out another whimper and reached forward, gazing at Yongsun’s teary eyes.

 

“What on earth happened?”

 

“T-the king… got so angry… I couldn’t get away… and I think he’s… killing more.”

 

“We need to get you to a doctor.”

 

Yongsun just smiled sadly.  But she said nothing as Byulyi scooped her up in her arms and started hurriedly walking, leaving her sword behind.

 

The other girl was so warm against her chest as she practically ran toward the physician’s quarters at the palace.  She felt Yongsun whisper something against her neck but she couldn’t hear her, desperate to find a doctor or someone who could stop the blood from seeping out of Yongsun.

 

“Byulyi-ah.”

 

She paused, realizing that they were at the royal gardens.  Just a little more and they’d be able to get Yongsun a doctor.

 

“I want… can you get me those flowers?”

 

Byulyi frowned as she pointed at a thick bush with white flowers dappled with red. 

 

“Please.”

 

And Byulyi had knelt down with Yongsun in her arms, and awkwardly plucked a few.  When Yongsun sniffled at the petals, her lips pulled into a small smile.

 

“You need to promise me something, Byulyi-ah.”

 

She nodded absentmindedly as she started at her sprint again, rushing despite the burning of her arms and legs.

 

“You can’t… kill the king.  Promise me.”

 

When she didn’t hear a response, Yongsun tightened her grip weakly against the collar of her uniform.

 

Byulyi slowed at the contact and looked down into sharp brown eyes.

 

“Promise me,” she whispered again through bloody teeth.  And Byulyi, trembling with Yongsun dying in her arms, had nodded.  That moment forever was trapped in her memory as the scent of those flowers mingled with the smell of Yongsun’s dark blood soaking her dress and Byulyi’s arms.

 

———————————

 

forward

 

When Byulyi was brought to her knees as the criminal who had murdered the king, she had just tipped her head back as she looked at the sky. 

 

And she had laughed.

 

———————————

 

Moonbyul realized that it was the evening already.  She glanced at the wilting flowers and with a snap of her fingers they were good as new.

 

Glancing at her watch, she realized that it was nearly time to meet Solar for their date. 

 

“Yongsun-ah,” she whispered for the first time in years, the sound rusty in .  When her eyes welled with tears she just let them fall. 

   

 

A/N whooo boy that was a long chapter with a ton of expostion. the events that were happening in byul's past are based loosely on king uijong of goryeo and the rise of the goryeo military regime. also please be aware byulyi is slightly an unreliable narrator especially about yongsun. so that'll be expanded on the next chapter~