003

“Only the moon knows how much I’ve searched for you.  But when you’re found, I’m scared to come too close. All I want to do is hold you close and I’m scared that I can’t let you go.”

Sooyoung screams internally into her pillow, trying to process the day’s events.  She cannot believe what happened.  Ok, so it isn’t like Sooyoung hasn’t kissed a few boys before back in high school.  She has, behind the school building, sloppy and awkward, but it was nothing like this.  Not even close. 

But to be fair, none of them are as gorgeous as Yoongi.  Or is it the thrill of kissing a stranger that excites her? 

Because the moment Yoongi’s lips were on hers, Sooyoung felt like her whole body was on fire, her head spinning, her muscles tensing.  But as fast as Yoongi kissed, he broke away so fast.  She wanted more, she wanted to be sure of the feeling, so without another thought, except for wishing Yoongi’s lips were on hers, she went in for another taste. 

She pretended to be ok after she had kissed him back, but to be honest, Sooyoung was in a daze.  But it is not just the kiss (although that was very good too) that has her head in a knot; it’s the look that Yoongi stared back at her with.  He looked at her so starry-eyed and dreamy.  There was so much attention on her in his eyes. 

And before she realizes, she’s already unconsciously starting to sketch him in her notebook again, his dark eyes staring back at her.  Is she going crazy?  There’s no way she can like him when she doesn’t even know him properly yet. She quickly rubs the scribble out.

Yes, she is definitely out of her mind.

Because while they talked on numerous occasions in the park when she was sketching, Sooyoung doesn’t know that much about Yoongi; apart from him working a sketchy job and that he enjoyed roaming parks in the evening.  She doesn’t know how old he is, what school he used to go to, where he is from. 

She literally knows nothing. 

And now she’s wondering why the hell she kissed him? Sooyoung smacks herself on the head.  She really needs to be less impulsive and think properly before acting.  She shouldn’t get caught up in all of this.  She has other more important things to worry about.  But willingly or unwillingly, she feels a change inside herself.

Because although she can hear her stepmother shouting impatiently for her to come downstairs to cook dinner, the usual dreariness is no longer dragging her down to the ground.  The thought of Yoongi just seems to lighten her day and she even secretly hopes to see him again in the park.  They hadn’t made any plans but Sooyoung just has this feeling that she will see him there again. 

Sooyoung tries very hard to pull these feelings back to the ground though.  She is smart enough to know that love does not solve any problems for you. She knows she needs to create her own escape route.

Her father is capable yet he the moment he lost his job 3 years ago, he chose to drown himself in liquor.  Her stepmother is not any better, forcing her to do all the house chores and then taking all her part-time money.  Why is she the one who needs to the support the family by herself?  She knows that isn’t a real family.

Sooyoung isn’t an idiot.  She knows she needs to get out of here. 

It’s the reason why she works so many part-time jobs and secretly saves a bit of cash on the side.  Even if these lousy people want to hold on to her, the moment she has enough cash saved up, she is planning to run far away where they can’t find her.

She wants to be able to dream again.

- - -

“Where are you going?”  A familiar deep yet buttery voice asks curiously.

Sooyoung doesn’t know why she panicked, but the moment she saw him walk along the main path of the park, she quickly started stuffing all her paper into her old canvas bag and rolling up her blanket, even though she had expected to see him in their usual place in the park. 

“Stargazing,” Sooyoung makes up on the spot as she avoids Yoongi’s eyes and hopes he doesn’t ask her anymore.  She isn’t prepared to talk to him yet. 

“Ok, let’s go.  It’s best near the top of the hills.”

Sooyoung looks at him dumbstruck.  Did he really think she wanted to go stargazing?  She was hoping he was going to let her go in peace.  As she takes him in, she notices that he is wearing a worn out grey hoodie and faded black jeans.  It’s not like he’s dressed that nicely she reasons to herself.  But then she realizes its how he carries himself with a sense of confidence that has her stomach fluttering with butterflies.

“Actually, I think I’m going to go home.”

But he catches her hand, a hopeful smile on his face.  His hand is icy cold.  Sooyoung wonders how long he has been outside.  It is summer though.  And it is a mild temperature and slightly humid in the evenings.  It is strange but Sooyoung doesn’t put any more thought into it.

“I thought you hated being at home.” He retorts.

These words sting because it was like Yoongi is reminding her how unloved she feels at home and she gives him an annoyed look, her eyebrows scrunching up indignantly. 

“Just for a bit.  Please.”  Yoongi says.  He seems to realize she doesn’t enjoy the talk of home, so he softens his tone.

Why is she so drawn to him?  She’s told herself that she doesn’