To Mina, Momo is more than a fellow group member, more than a friend, more than a close unnie; she is Mina’s idol. Mina admires Momo’s dedication, her resilience, her tenacity, her integrity, and her carefree personality. And like every fangirl out there, Mina wishes to be acknowledged by Momo. She’s extra cautious around the older girl, only wanting to show the best sides of herself.

That’s why she doesn’t understand. Mina doesn’t understand why it’s only her. Why out of all the members, she’s the only one Momo gives the cold shoulder to. Why Momo’s smile falter whenever their eyes meet, why Momo’s shoulders stiffen whenever she puts her head there, or why Momo always seem to be standing on the opposite side of wherever she is. Mina just doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand why their relationship had turned so sour.

Gone are the days when Momo would lean against her back, still heaving after a hard dance practice; it’s Nayeon’s leg that she now collapses onto. It’s no longer Mina whom Momo drags to the convenient store with her late in the night; it’s Jungyeon’s arm that she now clings onto. Mina is not the one Momo goes to anymore whenever she misses home; it’s Sana’s shoulder that she now cries onto. Where had it all gone? How could so much have changed in the span of just one year? As many successes as Twice had in 2016, Mina did not feel accomplished at all; for all those successes were at the price of her diminishing relationship with Momo.

Lost in her thoughts, Mina didn’t realize that the last performance was over until Jungyeon nudged her to get up. She walked to the stage and tried to maneuver her way to stand next to Momo but to no avail. Mina wants so much to be in Chaeyoung’s spot right now. She wants to hold Momo’s hand as they countdown together for the new year. But as the bell chimes, she could only look on pathetically at Chaeyoung and Momo’s clasped hands.

Year-end music festivals are fun and everything—especially all those special dance stages—but Mina was ready for it all to end. She plopped onto the backseat, still rubbing her left ear where her earring used to be.

“What a way to start the new year already,” Mina mumbled. Her complaints were cut short by the sliding of the car door and an equally tired-looking Momo stepping in. Their eyes met for a brief second before she sees Momo make her way to the back. Mina prayed that Momo would sit next to her, but she should know better than to hope for such things as Momo chose to sit on the other side instead. Disappointment was evident on her face as she leaned against the window, closing her eyes and pretending to sleep. She heard the other members shuffling in the car, all were exhausted from the day’s schedule.

“Ughh can’t someone take my place tomorrow? I just want to stay home,” Mina heard Jungyeon whine. Poor Jungyeon unnie, she thought. While the rest of the members have a day off tomorrow, Jungyeon still has to record for Inkigayo.

“We’ll go eat something after you get home,” Momo’s voice made her ears perk up. Of course it would be Momo to try and cheer her members up, typical Momo. Sometimes Mina wish she could be as vocal as other members and complain about things. Maybe then Momo would cheer her up like that too. With that last thought, Mina slowly let sleep take over her.

She woke up when she felt tapping on her shoulder. Eyes still heavy with sleep, she managed to squint one open and looked to her side. “Hey, we’re home now,” Momo’s voice sounded softly in Mina’s ears. She nodded and stretched her arms, trying to shake off the sleepiness. She heard a light chuckle and turned to see a smiling Momo. The older girl ruffles her hair, “Let’s go, it’s getting colder.”

Mina could withstand the coldest of nights if Momo would keep smiling at her. It’s moments like these that she feels more accomplished than getting any 1st place trophy.

---

By the time they all washed up it was already 3 in the morning and tired as they were, their empty stomachs did not allow them to sleep. Scavenging the fridge, all that was there were bits of leftover chicken and kimchi.

“This isn’t even enough to fill the cracks in my teeth,” Tzuyu deadpanned.

“Any volunteers to go to the convenient sto—” Momo’s hand shot up faster than Jihyo could finish her sentence. “—re with Momo?” Mina glanced at Momo who happened to look back at her. But before Mina could open to say anything, Momo had already spoken, “Let’s go Dahyun ah!”

“Whaaat?? But I’m so comfortable right now, I don’t want to leave the house,” Dahyun pouted.

“I’ll buy you choco pie.”

And with that, the two of them left the dorm, leaving a hurt penguin to stand there in confusion. Momo for sure knew that Mina was going to volunteer and yet she stopped her. Did she not want to be alone with Mina that much?

No longer feeling hungry, Mina retired to her room instead. She ponders once again why Momo always act like that towards her. It wasn’t always that way though. She recalled their trainee days; how Momo would be the one to reach out to her, to guide her, to teach her, to learn from her. During Sixteen and even during LOA promotions, Momo continued to shower her with praises and compliments. But then it all stopped once they started promotions for Cheer Up. It’s as though the more popular Twice becomes, the less Momo cares about Mina.

---

It was noon when Mina woke up, feeling tired and hungrier than ever. She lethargically makes her way to the living room where Sana and Nayeon were lounging on the couch watching Inkigayo.

“You’re up now?” Nayeon said, eyes still glued to the TV. Mina joined them on the couch and leaned her head against Sana’s shoulder.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Jihyo and Chaeyoung went home for a bit, the other three went out for lunch, and Jungyeon is right there,” Sana pointed to the TV.

“They were going to wait for you to wake up but Tzuyu got hungry. Do you want me to tell them to bring you back something? You didn’t eat last night and went straight to bed,” Nayeon looks over at Mina.

“It’s ok, unnie. I’ll just look for something in the fridge after I wash up,” Mina said and headed to the bathroom. While she was washing her face, she heard Dahyun’s voice loudly announcing her arrival, “We’re back!!”

“Is Mina up yet?” she heard Momo ask and couldn’t hide the smile that was spreading on her facel.

“Oh, Mina unnie, we brought some bulgogi back for you, it’s in the kitchen,” Dahyun said when Mina stepped out of the bathroom.

“Thanks, I was just getting hungry.”

“Yeah, that’s what Momo unnie said too.”

“What?” Mina asked, unable to hear from the kitchen, but Dahyun didn’t hear her either.

After lunch, Mina joined the girls in the living room. It was a lazy afternoon but they didn’t mind it at all. Off days like these are a blessing after their hectic schedules.

The warmth of the heater and the buzzing from the TV was lulling Mina to sleep again. As she was about to close her eyes, however, the sight of Momo getting up from the couch woke her up.

“I’m going out for a bit,” Momo announced.

“Where are you going?” Nayeon asked.

“I’m meeting up with Eunbi.”

“Hwang?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back soon.”

“Have fun,” Sana said teasingly. Momo held a fist up and jokingly threatened to hit Sana.

“I’m not you,” Momo retorted.

Mina could only let out a sigh. Even on their day off, she doesn’t get to spend much time with Momo. She went in her room again shortly after Momo left, no longer in the mood for TV.

---

Laying in bed, bored, Mina decided to play games to stop herself from wondering what Momo and SinB could be doing right now. She pulls out her long abandoned 3DS from her dresser and began playing Pokémon. She smiled while looking at Momo, the Psyduck she caught awhile back. Mina thought back to the time Momo wore that