Six

"Ya Kang Minhyuk."

"What?"

Since having children, Krystal and Minhyuk started to minimise time being away from their family for more coinciding day offs together.

It was an easy choice to make when it came to them. They loved their jobs, but what's more precious was the early years they grew as a family.

They tried hard, but to have matching schedules was almost impossible. More often than not they compromised with having just either one at home. Days like these were far and few between.

"Pass me the chips."

Minhyuk raised his eyebrow at the request, as if questioning the audacity of the woman currently cuddled with him on the sofa.

"Please?" Krystal batted her eyes at him.

Pleased, he reached for the opened bag of lime and pepper chips and held it up for her.

Winter arrived before they had a proper chance to bask in the lovely autumn weather. Preferring the warmth of their home to harsh biting winds outside, they chose to laze around and catch up on the latest TV series.

"I can't believe we're the only ones who hasn't completed the season. Do you know how hard it was to avoid the spoilers?" Krystal continued her forage into the packet.

"And I don't know why I can't stop eating this. It's like they're controlling me."

"It's like how I can't get enough of you." Minhyuk kissed the top of her head. "Also because we promised to watch this together. If you watch it alone you're really horrible."

Everyday now feels like an experience on its own. Krystal never knew how her days could be so fulfilling from the simplest of things.

She picked up the remote and paused the episode, sitting up and leaning against Minhyuk.

"Hey! Why did you pause it?!"

"Minhyuk ah, did I change a lot? My character? Personality?" She tugged at his sleeves, "like in 50 first dates?"

Minhyuk laughed in spite of himself, "you need to stop romanticising yourself as a damsel in distress."

"I'm serious!" Krystal hit him in the chest, inciting a small 'ow' from her husband.

"Honey, you really are the same person from Day 1." Minhyuk squeezed her arm, assuring her. "You're the same Soojung I met and fell in love with. The only difference is sometimes, I feel that I'm robbing the cradle by dating the 23 year-old you again because of the 12-year void."

Krystal felt her heart did a little lurch. Everytime he talks about her like that, like she's the best thing that ever happened to him she wonders if she deserved it at all.

"You make me feel special, you know?"

"But you're special."

Minhyuk held out his arms, inviting her for an embrace.

"Soojung ah, I can't tell you enough about how amazing you are. You came into my life and became the brightest part of it. I don't even know how it happened, it just did."

"You know what they say about me right? That I'm spoilt, I flock around men, that I'm one who never appreciates. It goes on-"

"So let me spoil you, what's so bad about that?" Circling his arms around her, Minhyuk hoped it conveyed what he felt about her. "People can say many things, but I can also see with my eyes. You're my best, Soojung ah. It's the truth."

Krystal pulled him closer to her, telling herself that this was real. For so long, her notion of love was something you can't see. She was chasing her ideals of love, to prove to herself that it was what she wanted.

Until it took over her, the kind of love that she thought she wanted exhausted her. The kind of love that after everything, made her feel empty instead.

Then Kang Minhyuk came along and proved her wrong. He helped her to understand that love was something you could see; in the eyes of each other. That love could be tangible, in the things you do for each other. Most importantly, his love filled her with feelings that were indescribable.

"Why do you always say things that make me want to kiss you?"

Kang Minhyuk puckered his lips in response.

It was days like these that reminded them that they were always better as one.

Decembers always brought Minhyuk and Krystal mixed feelings. Mixed for the remembrance of Kim Jonghyun, someone who was like family to Krystal yet feeling joyous at the same time as Christmas was a season that always reminded them of the good around.

Without fail, Krystal and Lee Jonghyun would always spend the morning of 18th December together. Minhyuk never asked much, they visited Jonghyun from time to time, on some years they all would pay their respects to a dear friend together. Mostly, it was Krystal and Jonghyun.

They brought Jude and Ellie there too, when they came. Krystal would fondly introduce him as Uncle Jonghyun to them.

It was her way of remembering him.

Their most recent visit was slightly after Ellie's 100th day and before Krystal lost her memory.

With everything that happened in recent months, Minhyuk admitted that the anniversary slipped his mind this year. As such, when he woke up on the morning of 18th December to Krystal kissing him goodbye he got a little disorientated.

Before he could ask another word, she was out of the house. It took him the morning news to realise what day it was.

When she came home slightly after noon, he gave her a warm embrace first before anything else.

"You remembered?" Minhyuk kissed her temple, she was still cold from outside.

"I did." She held him closer, wanting more of his warmth. "It felt like I lost him all over again."

He caressed her head, hoping it would make it better for her.

They spent the next minutes holding each other, Krystal tearing up silently on his shoulder. Minhyuk patted her back like he did when he put Ellie to bed.

He brought her to the kitchen when she felt better, both of them sitting on opposite sides of the bar counter. "Did you go with Jonghyun hyung this year too?"

Krystal mustered a little curve on her lips, a wistful one. "The usual you know? I brought flowers and music, Jonghyun oppa brought a book."

Minhyuk gave her hand little with his thumb, urging her to continue.

"I remembered it last night, in between sleep.” She looked down, “it was like waking to a nightmare, only to realise that it’s real.”

Minhyuk saw a drop of her tear fall on the counter they were sitting at. He went over, holding her from behind this time. Jonghyun’s death had never been easy on the people around them, even after so many years.

She turned around at his touch and held him close, hoping that it would perhaps fill up that weird void in her she couldn’t explain. Perhaps overwhelmed with the emotion, she started sobbing this time.

He brought her back to their room for a rest when she finally calmed down again. Once his big baby was settled in, Minhyuk gave Jonghyun a call.

As expected, he was told that she was a lot more forlorn this year and blamed herself when she realised that it took her up to today to remember what happened.

Hanging up, Minhyuk thanked his brother. He went back to the room and found Krystal still asleep. The way she slept made her look especially small in the bed that they shared. She stirred when she felt Minhyuk pulling the sheets higher around her.

In between sleep, she vaguely remembered him kissing the top of her head.

“I love you, Jung Soojung.”

———————————————————————————————

When Krystal woke up again, it was to a warm orange glow in the room, from the setting sun outside.

This morning’s memories came back to her but she was thankfully, feeling better. She was never one to mope around but remembering it again at this point of her life, it caught her by surprise and she was drowned with the memories and sadness of what happened before she even realised it.

She felt the sudden need to see Minhyuk, wanting to let him know that she was ok and to let him know that she loved him too. While she remembered that they were never the expressive type of couple, recent months seemed to change their behaviour.

Stepping out of the room to an exceptionally quiet house, Krystal went down the hallway instinctively to the only other dog that was closed. She found all three of them sprawled out on the playing mat. Minhyuk lying there, one arm across Jude whose head was on his stomach. His other arm stretched out straight, for Ellie to use it as a pillow on the other side of him.

They seemed to still be in comfortable slumber when she approached.

“Yeol-ie”, Krystal joined the sleeping trio, lying on her stomach near Jude and called out an airy whisper of Jude’s Korean name, Kang Yeol. “It’s mummy.”

They seldom call the kids by their Korean names but it always held special meaning for them. Back when they were naming Jude, they thought it would be best if Minhyuk chose his Korean name while Krystal thought of his English one.

“He’s due next week and you still have no name for him?!” Jessica rubbed her temples, “my precious nephew, I guess that’s what I’ll be calling him for the rest of his life.”

Krystal and Minhyuk looked away from each other. They’ve been thinking about names for the baby since a few months back but have unfortunately yet to settle on one.

“Surely you’ve had some ideas?” Jessica tried to help, “Soojung ah, I’m sure you do?”

“Well, we do have a few but nothing really hit the nail.”

“Such as...?”

“Tobias?”

“To-what? Hey you didn’t tell me about that name!” Minhyuk stared at her, as if she just said something in Nordic. What’s a Tobias????

“It just came to me....” Krystal looked towards another direction, only to see Jessica trying to stop herself from laughing.

“I have to agree though. Really, Soojung ah, Tobias?” Her sister’s comment made the name sounded even funnier. Was it that bad?

“You’re one to talk, Kang Minhyuk! Kang Yul Suk? What’s that? Our next door ahjussi?”

“...”

No matter how much she tossed around in bed that night, Krystal just couldn’t sleep.

She woke Minhyuk up and as expected, he shot up from bed, thinking it could be labour.

“Hey,” Krystal ruffled his hair, “I’m ok.”

He heaved a sigh of relief, ready to fall back asleep when she stopped him. “I was thinking,” she made sure he sat up, “can we name him Yeol? Kang Yeol.”

Minhyuk was trying to shake the sleepiness away as he tried to register what she said, “Yeol?”

“Yeah, I want him to be the most brilliant version of himself,” Krystal traced out the Yeol character on his palm. “And that no matter what version he chooses, we’ll be equally proud.”

“Kang - Yeol.”

He placed his hand that she’d written on - on her, where Kang Yeol was likely resting too.

“Kang Yeol.” Minhyuk’s voice felt like a warm blanket in the dark and slightly chilly bedroom. “We finally have a name for you.”

“Yeol-ie,” Krystal kissed his cheek, she felt bad waking him up but she really wanted to hug them.

Jude moved a little, before finding another comfortable spot on his dad and dozed off again.

“Yeol-ie isn’t awake but Hyuk-ie is.”

Krystal rolled her eyes at Minhyuk’s sleepy croak, he was still pinned down by their babies who made themselves comfortable on him.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked again from where he was, parallel to the floor.

“Much much better.” She moved to where Ellie was and picked her up, patting her when she made little noises that sembled a cry.

“Thank you,” Minhyuk finally regained the senses of his arm, “any longer and your husband will never be playing the drums again.”

Slightly embarrassed by her outburst of emotions earlier in the day, Krystal had her back facing him while she rocked Ellie back to sleep. She heard movement behind from Minhyuk helping Jude to sleep in a more comfortable position on the activity mat.

“Loss is hard,” she heard him say, “but always remember that they live in us.”

Minhyuk put his arms around her, “we celebrate life not because we forgot about those who left, but because we want to be the best of us for them, right?”

She leaned in on him, holding Ellie a little closer to her. “You’re right, as always.” Looking up, she kissed him on his jaw before making herself comfortable in his embrace.

If anyone asked her what it felt like to be at ease, Krystal would tell them about this moment.

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