I am terribly sorry for the damn long wait, and i don't have any excuses! I've just been going through some rough writer's block the last few months. But now I am back, finally being able to publish the second part of Broken! Enjoy!^^

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Nervously I clench my fists and then open them again, only to repeat that pattern over and over. I am standing next to Yongguk, waiting for the door in front of us to open.

"What's he like?" I dare not to make it come out louder than a whisper.

"He's okay. You don't have to be afraid of him. Just make sure to be polite and leave the talking to me" the man next to me tries to calm me down and he gives me a light pat on the shoulder. In that moment, the door opens a little, and then all the way.

"I brought the girl I talked to you about" Yongguk utters.

"So that's her..." the man who opened the door says and scans me from head to toe. "But isn't she a bit young? I didn't think you'd bring a minor."

"She's actually an adult. I wouldn't pull a child into this, Himchan-ssi" Yongguk responds.

"How old are you then? And what is your name?" The mans standing in the doorframe turns to me.

"I-I'm 19." I swallow to collect myself. "I'm called Y/N."

"I see... Well, 19 is young... What exactly brings you here?"

"Can't we come in before we discuss this?" Yongguk throws in.

"You know the rules, Yongguk-ssi!"

"We can trust her. She's not a spy" my accomplice ensures. Himchan eyes me suspiciously for a moment, but then he turns around and waves us into the flat. We step into the living room where he walks over to the small table near the kitchen and puts away some dishes that seem to be still left from breakfast.

"You had a visitor?" Yongguk asks upon noticing that there are two cups and two plates.

"Yeah, well, kind of..." the owner of the flat mutters and walks into the kitchen to staple the dishes there.

"...so it was a girl?" Yongguk teases him.

"So what?" Himchan retorts as he steps back into the living room. "You're not one to talk" he adds while looking over to me. "Anyway, let's just sit down here and talk this over." We do as he said.

"Y/N-ssi, what is your objective?" Himchan asks as if he was interrogating me.

"I-I just... wanted to come along on a mission and see what it's like..." I explain and he turns to his fellow gang member.

"You bring her here because she wants to see what it's like?"

"She insisted..." Yongguk says and Himchan just shakes his head, sighing.

"Look" he turns back to me, wearing a serious expression, "these missions aren't leisure time activities. Those are serious, people get hurt during them and people die during them. Do you understand that?"

"I understand." I try to give him a firm nod. My level of excitement rises again, now that we are actually talking about why I'm here. But it's not nervousness or fear, rather than that I'm thrilled to experience all the action involved.

"If you come along you might have to point a gun at people as well. And those people will certainly point their guns at you" Himchan further explains, but that doesn't discourage me.

"I am aware of that. I know how to use a gun."

"Who taught you?"

"My dad. He works in the army" I say.

"Her father works for the government and you bring her here?!" Himchan jumps up, hands slammed onto the table and he shouts at Yongguk.

"I am sorry, I didn't know that..." Yongguk too seems shocked, but he looks at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask! I didn't think it would be important, and..." This would be the end of my dream... Or so I thought.

"And?" Himchan gives me a chance to explain, though he sounds slightly distressed.

"...and I wouldn't tell him about you. If my parents knew I hang out with gangsters they'd probably send me to Mars or lock me into a church or something..." I admit.

"Is that true? I can trust you, right, Y/N?" Yongguk takes my face in both his hands and peers strongly into my eyes. I nod.

"Please trust me" I somehow manage to force out, because him touching me all of a sudden makes me get really nervous.

“Please leave the lovey-dovey-ness out of here” Himchan orders as he sits down again, then sighs. “You being affiliated with the government really is bothering me.”

“She said we could trust her, Himchan-ssi!” Yongguk defends me, while I sit next to him and lower my head. I’ve basically almost given up hope, but if Yongguk’s still trying, I can’t walk away yet. Another sigh is heard from Himchan.

“…fine, but she’ll be on the sidelines only” he finally voices his decision. My face lights up and I stand up and bow deeply.

“Thank you…” I mutter.

“But!” I look up again. “You have to show me your skills when handling a gun first. That is the least you’ll need not to get the whole mission in danger of failing.” I nod.

“What do I have to do?” I ask, slowly enough not to stumble over my own words. Himchan looks at Yongguk, then back to me. “Come with me.”

“Now?” I ask, taken by surprise.

“Yes.”

He guides us out the door and puts on a heavy-looking leather jacket.

“Come on” he tells me, then adding directed at Yongguk, “Not you.” Upon being separated, I start becoming a little scared again. But Himchan wouldn’t do anything bad to me, right…?

He walks me to some shabby shop in a narrow side street, where we take the stairs into the cellar. He unlocks a heavy metal door and we pass through, entering a room with nothing but three stuffed dummies on wooden sticks in it. He pulls out a gun and my heart rate shoots up and then hands it to me.

“That one should be okay for you. If you can shoot the head of that one puppet in the middle with just three bullets, you’re in. Otherwise I can’t take you with us. Oh and…” he pulls out another gun and puts it up against my head, “…don’t let this bother you.”

I gasp. I am certain his gun is loaded, and I am also certain that things won’t end well with me if I don’t manage to land a bullet through the dummy’s head. Fear arises within me and I’m suddenly not so sure anymore if I really want to do this. But I tighten my grip on my gun and push those emotions away. Right now, I have to concentrate. With a shivering arm, I take my aim and pull the trigger. I feel the force of the recoil pulse throughout my whole body and briefly close my eyes because the noise turned out louder than I had expected. Upon opening them again, I am greeted by the sight of an ungrazed dummy and I hear Himchan saying next to my ear, “And what was that?” He says it calmly, but his voice carries a certain strictness that tells me he is not happy with my abilities at all. If only he’d take the gun away! I take a deep breath. I need to focus now! I try to remember what it was like when I learned shooting from my father. I can see clearly how I hit one target after the other, but I just can’t grasp the feeling of it anymore. I breathe out and let my arm sink.

“Don’t tell me you’re giving up?” Himchan’s sharp voice breaks my concentration, but I manage to build it up again. After calming my breathing and heartbeat as good as possible, I stand up straight and lift the gun, bringing tension to my joints, but only so much. I focus on the head of the puppet in the middle, when I feel Himchan’s gun being pressed more strongly against the side of my forehead. I get out of focus again, but manage to correct my aiming. I have to hit it. There’s no other way. I get nervous yet again, but keep my breathing steady so that it won’t hinder me. I check my aim once again and pull the trigger.

Next thing I know, the other’s weapon is removed from my head.

“You hit it right through the forehead. That guy would have been dead.”

“I-I did…” I whisper, when the corners of my mouth shoot up.

“But that was pretty slow” Himchan explains. He puts the gun up against my head once more. “Do it again. 3… 2…” With no time to think, I put up my gun and shoot just before he reaches 1. The bullet hits the dummy where the chin would be.

“Hmpf… That’s good enough.” The man next to me puts his gun away and takes back the one he lent me.

“You can come along. But I’ll have to explain some rules to you. Yongguk will give you the details.”

I can’t believe it. I’m really in? I’m basically in my own action movie? But it’s all real! With the tension slowly leaving my body, I experience a whole new feeling of satisfaction.

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“How long until they arrive?” I ask nervously and check once again if I still have my gun and bullets. Well, who should have taken them anyway?

“They should be here soon” Yongguk replies and wraps his arm around my shoulders. Though I’m still not used to being touched by him, it somewhat calms me down. We are currently in the hideout of Himchan’s gang and waiting for him, as well as someone he said he’d bring along. The other members are checking their weapons as well and two of them are sharing a brief conversation, but I can feel everyone’s tension. And then they finally arrive – Himchan and a tall, well-trained woman.

“Oh, there is a new face” she says and looks me straight in the eyes. I get a bit nervous.

“Yes” Yongguk answers. “She’s my girlfriend, Y/N. She wanted to come along and help us out.” I nod in agreement.

“I see…” the woman responds hesitantly. After that, we make our way to where The Golden Fang – which is the name of our enemy - is supposed to be. Legend says, he got his name from the golden tooth he has in his mouth, or so Yongguk told me.

Arriving at the old storage hall, we split into teams of two. I’m paired up with Yongguk and we have to watch the north entrance. I run my inexperienced eyes through the surrounding area, finding absolutely nothing suspicious. But I don’t seem to be the only one, since soon after, we get the signal to start the mission and the both of us storm inside next to each other. I hold my gun up close, tensing up by the silence which is torn by approaching footsteps just a moment later. Men in black are running up the stairs in the middle of the hall and they are flowing in through the entrances.

“But there wasn’t anyone there before!” I exclaim in Yongguk’s direction. Everyone aims at everyone and upon the first shot being fired from right behind me, the massacre begins. I try to keep my posture, until I see a person right in front of me being shot in the stomach and sinking to the ground, spitting blood and cowering in pain. The noise hits my ears and gets blocked out, as if it wasn’t even real and I suddenly can’t move an inch. Yongguk too fires a few rounds, but then realizes what a frightened state I am in.

“Hide over there!” he urges me on and he pushes me to the side so that I start running. I almost drop my gun in the process, but I don’t think I’ll be able to pull the trigger tonight anyway. My boyfriend follows me closely and wards off the attackers coming after us, while I sprint towards the wooden box I have my gaze fixated on. I hide behind it and curl up in fear, again feeling like my body is paralyzed. I turn my head to the side to keep watch over Yongguk. . what is this? This… isn’t like I had imagined. I just wanna get out of here. I wanna die. I cover my head with my hands to block out the reality around me, but as expected, it won’t work.

“Run!” I hear Yongguk scream and look at me with worried eyes. I don’t react and he screams at me again, even louder this time, “Y/N, run to the entrance now! It’s your only chance!” I shift my gaze to the door behind me and get up. My feet start moving so fast that I have the feeling I’m going to trip over them. I only stop running straight ahead blindly when my lungs refuse to take in any more oxygen and I lean against a wall far from the shooting head first, feeling like I have to throw up. My saliva drops onto the ground and tears are welling up behind my eyes that just won’t come out. I can only hear my own breathing full of torment and pain, but my body feels numb. I slump down onto the ground. What just… happened…? I am surprised by the fact that my ears actually take in the sound of sirens all around me and that my brain can process the noise. They must be getting them… Yongguk…

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I wake up, still cowering next to my bed instead of sleeping inside of it. I’ve locked myself in my room for two days now, only leaving to use the toilet, but not even for washing up. That also means I haven’t eaten anything in two days, but my stomach has long stopped rumbling. My tired eyes glide through the room, stopping at the bullets lying on my desk. I wanted to throw them out, in order to get rid of the horrifying memories, but where should I put them without my parents finding out and calling the police? For now, I crawl towards where they are lying and take them off the desk to put them into one of the drawers. Then I return to my original position and continue cowering, pushing all the bad thoughts out of my head, but the feelings linger and make me remember the images of that night from time to time. Whenever I think of the man getting shot right in front of me, I get goose bumps everywhere and it feels like my whole body turns cold.

“Y/N, why don’t you come out?” I can hear my mother’s voice calling me in a comforting tone through the thin door that separates me from the rest of this dark world. She doesn’t even know what has happened to put me into this state, but she seems so understanding regardless. I lift my head and ponder if I should leave my comforting position, or if I should remain silently wailing over the horrendous memories. In the end, I give myself a mental push and do the smartest thing to do. I slowly get up and walk to the door, shoulders slumped forward, opening it just so much that I can peek through with one eye.

“Finally, Y/N, I can see your face again! I was so worried… how are you feeling?” my mother adds upon noticing that her sudden outburst of emotion made me slightly uncomfortable.

“I… it could be worse” I say, lowering my eyes.

“Go take a bath first! I already prepared the water.” As if she had known that she’d get me to leave my room now. I drag myself to the bathroom, where I wash up for the first time in days. I come out feeling a bit more refreshed than before, but my irregular sleep cycle is getting back at me and makes my concentration fade.

“Don’t you want to go out a bit?” my mother asks from the living room. I shake my head, even though she can’t see me at the moment. Then I realize she’s just watching the news and I hear the following sentence, which make me feel really uptight: “The case of the group of young men that were found seriously injured and many of them dead in the outskirts of Seoul two days ago is still under investigation…” I rush to the living room, but there aren’t any images shown on TV.

“Are you interested in this case?” my mother wants to know. I don’t know how to reply, so I just nod for now. “Didn’t expect that! Well, those who survived are probably in the police hospital now…” The feeling that I have to go there immediately hits me.

“Mother, I will be out for a while. I’d like to clear my head” I tell her and leave faster than I thought I could. I don’t hear her answer anymore.

About halfway there, doubt hits me. Are they really there? It was only speculation of my mother, but it sounded plausible to me… Though I am scared of what I may or may not find there, I have to check. So I continue my way to the hospital.

“Who do you want to see?” the lady at the counter asks.

“B-Bang Yongguk?” I say, phrasing it as a question because I have no idea if he is actually in there. And he seems to be, because the lady gives me a room number and lets me pass through. I search for the room on the plan in the entrance hall and as soon as I find it, I walk straight there. But knocking on the door is harder than expected. What will he think of me, now that I proved weak and useless? Will he even want me here? I lift up my fist, but put it down again. Why can’t I just do this?!, I think. I shake my head. No, I have to do this now. I push all emotions aside and knock. I hear a faint “Yes?” from inside, and slowly turn the knob.

Inside, I see a figure lying on a white bed, covered by white sheets up to the shoulders.

“Y-Yongguk?” I ask, stepping in further, stopping next to the bed. He greets me with a half-smile and lit up eyes. “Finally you came…” he breathes silently. In that moment, my knees become weak and I can’t stop the tears flowing from my eyes. I fall down and grab onto the bed. Yongguk frees his arm from under the blanket and slowly extends his big reliable hand to gently pat me on the head.

“It’s okay” he whispers repeatedly while running his fingers through my hair. “It’s okay.”

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After that, I visit him every day, making sure to bring something along whenever I show up, because he seems bored in there with nothing to do but lying in bed all day. He refuses to tell me about all his injuries, which makes me assume that they are pretty bad. But even if he doesn’t tell me, I have to do my best to take care of him! He also told me that Himchan and Zelo are in the same hospital, with comparably bad injuries.

Today I decide to bring him some comics to read, so I go to a local bookstore.

“Hello, can I help you?” an employee asks and smiles at me, but I still become nervous.

“Um… I-I’m looking for something for my b-boyfriend.” Calling Yongguk my ‘boyfriend’ makes me tense up even more.

“Oh, what does he like to read?” the young woman asks, walking over to some shelves with me.

“He’s not picky… he just needs something to pass the time, b-because…” I stop there. I’m not sure if she needs to know that he’s in hospital because of being part of an underground gang. She takes out a book and presents it to me.

“Well, then I recommend this one here. It’s really thrilling and you never know where the story is going next!”

“I think he already has that one” I answer and feel a bit bad to turn down her efforts of picking out a manhwa for me. She puts it back and we walk over to a different shelf, where she shows me another manhwa.

“How about that one? It's new, so I doubt he already read it” she says. I inspect it thoroughly before making my decision. “I'll take it, thanks” I say and walk to the counter in order to pay.

“Should I wrap it in for you?” the employee asks, but I shake my head. “I see” she adds, “I thought it’s for his birthday or something…”

“No, it's just... he isn't feeling very well at the moment, so I thought reading comics might take his mind off of things for a little while. After all, he's had a rough week healing up...” I answer. I don’t know exactly why I decided to share that with her after all. She gives a light chuckle and says jokingly, “Don't tell me he was part of one of the gangs on the news!” How would she know…?

“He is…” I admit. The young woman stops her every move and looks at me in shock.

“Which side is he on?” she asks. “Is there a young man called Youngjae in his gang?”

“You know them…?” I respond in confusion and she nods.

“Where are they now? Where is Youngjae?” she proceeds to throw questions at me. I get the feeling she and Youngjae are very close… But unfortunately I have to disappoint her.

“I don't know. I only know where Yongguk, Himchan and Zelo are. Sorry.” I lower my head, then look up to face her again, taking the plastic bag with the manhwa inside. “But I really have to go now. Goodbye.” With that I rush out of the store, unsure of how I should feel to have met a person who seems to be in a similar position I am in.

I knock on the door to Yongguk’s room, this time with more confidence than when I first came here. Being allowed to enter, I open the door and close it again behind me. I take one of the two chairs in his room and place it next to his bed, to sit down on it.

“Look, I got you something” I say, handing the manhwa to him. He takes it with a smile and carefully turns it around to its back-cover with his long, elegant fingers.

“That is really sweet of you” he tells me with that soothing voice of his. “But you don’t have to bring gifts all the time. I’m more than happy to have you here with me!” I feel a blush appearing on my cheeks.

“But, you must be bored when I’m not here!” I justify my actions. He puts the book aside and lifts his hand to lightly touch my left cheek.

“I am thankful! I’m just saying you don’t have to spend so much money because of me! Also, I haven’t even finished reading the book you brought two days ago.” He points to the table where a bunch of books are neatly stapled. I nod in defeat.

“Hey, Y/N. I didn’t mean to make you sad” he explains.

“It’s not that” I say. “Just… I wanted to tell you something… and I don’t know how. So I guess I tried to say it through buying you all kinds of stuff. But it seems like I have no choice but to use words…”

“What is it?” Yongguk asks and sits up. His blanket slides down to reveal his thin upper body, which reminds of a certain night. I try to make eye contact with him and lift my head up firmly.

“Bang Yongguk, I…” Ahhh, this is difficult after all. I swallow. “I love you.” It comes out as nothing but a whisper and the silence that follows is overwhelming me. I can see the corners of his mouth going up, very slowly, but eventually his lips form a beautiful smile, showing his gums.

“That was weird, wasn’t it?” I say and avert my gaze, but he touches my chin and lifts up my head to make me face him once again. He shakes his head.

“No, not at all. In fact, I couldn’t be happier. But you know what?”

“What?” I ask.

“I love you too, Y/N.”