La Douleur Exquise Chapter 2

A face I have no name for haunts me

Like an uninvited visitor he keeps barging into my mind

Bringing with him memories that pain me, but also comfort me in the oddest ways

Therefore I find myself shivering at the ghost of his touch, which I long for irrationally

~ the stories that will never be published

~Kim SoHyun

So Hyun’s POV

“It’s been six months since she has been discharged, therefore SoHyun fainting is nothing to worry about, but merely a side effect of the coma she’s been in previously. Physical therapy and exercise is highly recommended in order to strengthen the muscle in her limbs.”

“Are you sure that she is fine?” My uncle confirmed with the doctor and then my aunt turned to me once he left hospital room with his residents.

“I should have gone to check up on you. It was a relief that the young man got our attention.”

“What a benign individual…” I muttered in response, trailing off toward my own thoughts. Although months have passed since I learned of my parents’ death, I was still struggling to move on. Everyone told me how lucky I was. Everyone told me how unfortunate I was. Sometimes I became stricken with grief and mourning. Sometimes I lashed out from the rage and injustice that boiled my blood. But nonetheless everything was merely a side effect of the vehicular accident that left me all alone in this world, in which I felt utterly misplaced.

The doctors would ask if I had any uncomfortable symptoms or physical limits that I was struggling to deal with. However there was one symptom that not a single doctor could ever answer. What was the medical diagnosis for regained memories I never had to begin with?

Blue ink was smudged all over the side of my right hand from my hand rubbing against the pages of the workbook while I studied rigorously at my desk. I glanced up at the sticky notes I decorated my wall with in order to help me study better.

From getting up in the morning to heading out the door, I took everything minute-by-minute, and then hour-by-hour until I was able to take it day by day. It was a tip a doctor let me know. As of now I was determined to pass my college entrance exams in order to enroll at a university and begin my life from there.

A bit tired, I rested my head on the pages of the book when a hand reached up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I smiled in response, but then it disappeared after a blink of an eye. I shook my head, wondering if it was purely my imagination or… a memory.

The guy that interrupted me was one I often seen in my dreams and even when I was conscious. I have never met him yet, the memories of him were abundant and my feelings toward the nameless guy were compellingly strong. My emotions ranged from sorrow to longing and to love. Understanding the weight of words, I was at first skeptical to even think about loving someone, but that was one emotion those memories brought with him. He carried the intimacy of a lover, when the truth was I didn’t even remember his name. The one thing I was certain about was that I loved him once before.

I was nineteen when I slipped into the coma, and now I was twenty- four. I missed five years of my life, yet through these recently acquired memories I felt as though I was mature beyond my years. These memories of my experiences gave me such a profound sentimentality that my emotional intelligence grew drastically.

A knock sounded from the door, alerting me. It was my aunt, who peeped into my room with something in her hands. I got up from my desk as the door opened to reveal what was in her hands. It was my typewriter. I instantly recalled the memory of my parents gifting it to me the day I entered high school, since I had a penchant for antiques and was an aspiring writer. That was when I decided that I wanted to major in Literature and Linguistics.

“I wasn’t sure to pack this away or not, but I remember how much you used to love writing with this, so I thought you should have this with you.”

“Thank you.” I uttered softly, taking the clunky typewriter from my aunt’s hands. The moon rose and I lay in my bed with thoughts of him preventing me from catching any sleep at all. I huffed out a deep breath, feeling suffocated by my poor decision to keep the blanket over my head, which was only trapping the stuffy air around me. My fingers gripped the hem of the blanket, pulling it down to my chest. Looking up at the ceiling, I grew even more restless. The instant I closed my tired eyes, my skin reacted by shivering at the sensation of his touch. Opening my eyes, I grew even more unsettled at the affect these memories had on me.

With one glance at the typewriter that was sitting on my desk, I pulled my sluggish body out of bed and into the chair at my desk. I averted my eyesight away when the lamp was , brightly lighting up the pitch-dark room. Holding out my hands over the letters, my fingers twitched in the air as I tried to gather the thoughts that were passing by faster than I was capable of forming phrases. Letting out a shaky breath, I allowed my rampant thoughts to spill before me. The clashing of the metal within the typewriter sounded every time I pressed down onto the keytop, disturbing the silence that nights usually bring.

Everything was a set of steps that I had to take in order to begin my life again or you could say resume my life. I had my whole future planned out. At nineteen I was going to be enrolled at university, taking Literature and Linguistic lectures alongside my best friend, Saeron, who was going to be a ballet major. And as of right now I was walking out of the high school after having taken my college entrance exam. Letting out a deep breath I walked out of the school gates and toward the curb to catch a taxi back home.

“You’re now 24 years old, SoHyun! The doctor said that you would be fine now to do whatever you please, so your uncle and I are giving you a credit card to use. We want you to have fun and hang out with your friends. We were worried, since you’ve been holed up in your room all this time. You passed your exams, so party and have fun. Your friend, Saeron kept texting your number since the accident, so we kept paying the phone bill with hopes of you waking up.” My aunt and uncle smiled at me warmly as my uncle placed my old phone and credit card into my palms. I grinned in response and ran back up the stairs with thudding as I returned to my bedroom.

Taking a look at my phone, I entered the password to see my mailbox and text box overloaded with texts and emails. Scrolling through my texts, I realized that my high school friends left messages for me to read after I woke up. They were hopeful and wished to meet up when I did wake up. However the one contact that left the most messages was my best friend, Kim Saeron. At first, the messages were hopeful and yearning for me to survive. Then gradually as the years went by, Saeron kept updating me on her life and about the things we promised each other to do together. Clicking on her contact number, I pressed my phone to my ear as the line went through.

“SoHyun? Is this you? SoHyun!” It was difficult to make out my best friend’s words from her crying, which gargled her words.

“Saeron! It’s me, your best friend, SoHyun!” I could already envision my best friend with tears in her eyes as she giggled loudly into the phone along with me.

“Let’s meet up tomorrow. You know the school we were dead set on going to? I’m a senior there now! I’ll meet you on campus tomorrow. My class ends around five, so we could grab dinner and have a night out!”

“That sounds pe