nikatsu ░ session o3
+ｓｔｕｄｉｏＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ ░ {closed/finishing requests}
Title: L'inizio di una Vita
Consultant/Reviewer: jwhong005
Title - 4.5/5
Despite the fact that I couldn't understand the title right off the bat, with the translation it turned out to be very clever. I haven't seen a title like before. Half a point was taken off because normally when I see a title it turns me away a bit if I can't understand it.
Ability to draw readers in (pageturner) - 16/20
I'm not really taking off for this but your chapters are really long for the most part. There were parts where I wanted to read more but the chapters turned me off since they seemed to drag. I suggest taking out long author's notes after you are sure your readers have read them. Especially if they no longer have to be there. Readers come and go and I know that a lot go when new chapters are actually author's notes.
Writing style - 9/10
To be honest, it drives me insane when authors align their text in the center. Text should be aligned to the left with typically no exceptions. Secondly, when people want to show verbal pauses, most put in several periods. In this case, you typically used four when the correct thing is to use three ("..."). I'm not sure why the English language does so, but that's the correct thing to do. Luckily, your writing style is easy to read and gives a good flow.
Plot - 18/20
The plot was alright, not my favorite but it was well written, making it worth reading. The time era you choose to place this in was a bit too old for my taste as well. I have to applaud you though for choosing a different time to write in. For me, writing in a time that isn't current is hard and out of my comfort zone. You did it and pulled it off.
Characterization - 15/15
Your characters seem real and that's what matters the most to me. They weren't flat and seemed to have a sense of development as the plot progressed.
Writing mechanics (grammar, spelling, word choice, etc) - 5/5
I liked your grammar and word choice most of all. Spelling is something that should never have mistakes because you have spell check to use. I saw no mistakes with your mechanics. I apologize for not going into greater depth because I'm currently sick.
Originality/Creativity - 23/25
You took the prompt chosen and made it into something that I think it pretty unique. For the most part I enjoyed reading because I could sense the originality and thought that was put into this story.
**Consultant Comments: I apologize for the lack of detail in this review. I wished to make it more detailed but the cold I have caused the deadline to be pushed back once and I didn't want it to be pushed back again because I was incapable of doing something. I also have to apologize for the lack of reasoning behind each grade that was given. I'll do another review once I'm better if you'd like that and if I have the time especially.
90.5/100; 91%
**dulcee says: good job! Getting at least a 90% here is pretty darn amazing. I also skimmed over your story, and like jwhong005, found it hard to nitpick anything. You deserve a flying pig for that amazing story.
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