Gazing at the moonlight high up in the sky, Jaejoong snuggled himself by Yunho's side as he grazed his cheek on the older's chest.

"Do you remember that time when Changmin kept teasing Junsu until he cried?"

Yunho chuckled, "Yeah, I reprimanded him for it and you kept defending Changmin instead of comforting Junsu."

"You were so annoyed and got too harsh with the words you used on him! I kept telling you to never be so vulgar with our members!"

"It was only for that one time where I got so agitated, Joongie.."

"That one time could have scarred that kid for life.. you know how much he looks up to you.." 

Shaking his head in disagreement, Yunho replied. "Me? I don't think so. He has now become as vulgar as you. You have taught him well."

Jaejoong burst into laughter, "Changmin has all along always been very vulgar! Just that he's able to control himself infront of you."

After a moment of silence, Jaejoong began to question. "Does he know that we met in the military?"

"It was all over the news during the first military event that we both had to attend. Before he asked me about it, I told him first that I met you...."

Still waiting for the older to continue, "and...?"

"And what? That's it."

"That's it? He didn't say anything? Nothing?"

"Nothing. He just went to talk about something else."

"After all these years, he's still mad at me. So mad." Jaejoong sighed. 

Kissing the man's hair, Yunho reassured. "You know what Changmin's like. He may seem mad but he doesn't stay mad for long. Normally at the mere mention of your name, he will be banging things around but this time he did nothing. So it's an improvement!"

"Trust you to be laughing about this," Jaejoong pinched Yunho's arm, causing the man to flinch. 

"Joongie."

"Urm?"

"Once I'm discharged from the military, please don't come to me until I go to you."

Raising his head to look at the man's face, Jaejoong questioned. "Why? Why can't I look for you? Will that company us up again?"

"They know that we definitely meet up in the military. Although not to this extend but the botched military plan of that event which allowed our attendance together was enough to verify any suspicions that we indeed have met. It will be even harder for us after this.."

"I have stayed quiet for far too long. This time round I will not yield--"

"Joongie--"

"Enough is enough"

"Kim Jaejoong--'

"Shut up, Yunho" interrupting the older with a kiss on his lips, Jaejoong whispered. "I will keep coming for you."

Yoochun and Junsu looked at each other worriedly as they watched Jaejoong getting busy around the house. 

"Finally! I'm done! Guys, you think I should cook pasta or Japanese food for him??"

"Yunho hyung would appreciate a nice warm home cooked Korean meal...." Junsu responded.

"To think about it, you're right." Jaejoong immediately rushed to the kitchen to check on available ingredients. "Who's up for some grocery shopping tomorrow??" 

Perching by the table top, Yoochun began to ask. "Hyung, are you sure about this?" 

"About what?" Jaejoong responded while still rummaging through the refrigerator. 

"Will Yunho hyung really come here?"

"Yah! Park Yoochun! Stop being such a wet blanket! He will definitely come for sure! 

Junsu tugged Yoochun's arm, gesturing for him to be quiet. "Hyung! I will go with you to the supermarket tomorrow."

"That's my Junsu!"

***

Taking his own sweet time to pack, Yunho slowly reached for a shirt and folded it into his duffel bag. The time has come and he will finally be discharged from the military tomorrow. Finally the day he has been waiting for is here. The day he yearns to arrive yet having mixed feelings at the moment. He wants to leave but at the same time, he does not want to. 

Believe it or not, he enjoyed being in the military. Ironically, he has so much freedom and so much resting time as he will usually be occupied with trainings during the day. Most of all, he reunited with Jaejoong only after they chanced upon each other during that fateful military event. After so long with no contact, Yunho still vividly remembers the face of Jaejoong who accidentally bumped into him while exiting the tent. That beautiful face of the man whom he continued loving in silence for over five years. That longing arm reaching out for a hug, adding on to the shocked expression on the younger's face. Too beautiful.

"Why is it so hard to love you.."

Jaejoong's words constantly pierced through his heart everytime he recalled their final night together in the shed. Feeling guilty would be an understatement. He wishes to escape from it all. There is so much he wants to do yet so much that are beyond his control. 

Zipping his bag and placing it by the cupboard, Yunho went to lie on the bed and rested one arm behind his head. Surge of thoughts and emotions rushed through his mind as he wonder what is to come tomorrow. He knows that things will not be the same. In fact, many things will change. Seeing how Jaejoong was so adamant in finding him, he feared for what is to come in the future. He never dared to share his worries with Jaejoong, for time was too short to talk about negative issues. How can one use two years to make up for the five years of love lost? So much have been sacrificed during the process. He feels conflicted, knowing that there are so many hearts he have to protect. The management, his good friends, Changmin, Jaejoong, Changmin..... Jaejoong.

Kim Jaejoong. 

Why is it so hard for me to love you.. 



-----TO BE CONTINUED-----

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-Kat-