The news was wild. At least, Chanyeol thought so as he watched his sister rave about the latest rumour. Chanyeol had found it mildly distasteful yet pushed the feeling away. His sister was merely doing her job. Chanyeol did tons of things that his family found appalling because of his job and they all accepted it without a hitch or a swivel. But the apparent news she was uttering was nothing more than a baseless lie in Chanyeol’s opinion. Despite the turn of outcome, there was no way in hell they were helping him.

Joonmyun, who had opted to loft closer to the door, was silent as Yura continued to spout the nonsense. Chanyeol watched as he bristled every time Yura said his name, over and over as I she was playing a sour note. Chanyeol had taken his departure hard but Joonmyun? He’d taken it harder. And now, with this incessant nonsense that their company was helping him, regardless of the company winning the lawsuit that forced him to be signed under them, Chanyeol could help but feel it was to be anything less than preposterous. Chanyeol couldn’t accept it and he wouldn’t even try get Joonmyun to. They had suffered enough. He had made them suffer enough.

Baekhyun squirmed beside Chanyeol as Jongdae shut off the TV, Yura having switched over to sports. “Do you think they’re really helping him?” The words, the ones that Chanyeol didn’t doubt ran through everyone else’s minds, silenced the room. The air was tense, mostly based on Joonmyun’s demeanour, as the quiet atmosphere echoed. It was long before anyone moved or breathed, only being shattered by Joonmyun, himself.

“I’m not sure,” he shrugged, eyes on the floor, “But Manager-Hyung and Kasper wanted to see us in the dance room.” Chanyeol watched as Joonmyun walked out the room, a nervous pair of Sehun and Jongin on his heels. He couldn’t help but feel anxious as he followed the rest of the group out the door. He wasn’t sure what was to wait downstairs but he was sure it had to do with him. Chanyeol just wished it wasn’t what was rumoured and that Kasper and Manager-Hyung would be able to easily dispel that rumour.

However, when Chanyeol entered the dance room, the last one to make an appearance, he felt the anger rise as he saw him. America may have changed him, but he was still Kris Wu Yifan. Kris was sitting on one of the tables, talking to a rather large man who had opted to sit on a chair. Chanyeol didn’t understand everything they were saying, English never truly being his strong suit. He stayed silent as Manager-Hyung nudged the, now snow blonde, male. When he looked up, Chanyeol could recognize the piercing fear that ran through his body. Kris was still the scared man who left them two years ago.

Kris hopped off the table, motioning for the bulky man to remain seated as he greeted his former group, a huge smile that faltered with fear on his face. No one replied back but Chanyeol thought that Kris was prepared. He didn’t even falter. “You guys look different. In a good way,” Kris smiled, the last part rushed. Minseok snorted, eyes on Jongdae. Chanyeol could see the annoyance on the elder’s face. Chanyeol knew Kris would never be accepted like he once was. However, he also knew Kris would never stop trying.

Kris, looking a bit dejected, returned to the bulky man’s side. The man ran a hand down Kris’ side comfortingly. Kris smiled at him, yet Chanyeol knew it was one of heartache. If he wasn’t as hurt as Kris was, he’d be sympathetic. But what did Kris think? That everyone would receive him with open arms? Chanyeol was at his ends wit and, before he could stop himself, bit out in a harsh tone, “Suji-Hyung, what’s this about?” Chanyeol noticed Kris deflate but pushed the image aside, opting to look at the manager instead. Suji glanced at Kris softly before turning back to Chanyeol. “The CEO has decided that Kris… and his friend are going to occupy the dorm across from you guys and… that he’ll share this space with you guys while he’s in Korea.”

The words rocked Chanyeol. He glared at Kris who, after meeting the ferocity of his former member’s eyes, buried his face in the crook of the man’s neck. The man glared at them, revealing his face for the first time as he wrapped his arms around Kris and drug him closer. He said something to Kasper who sighed. “I know you guys don’t like the news but it would be appreciated that you all would stop this behaviour immediately.” Chanyeol looked around. Everyone, aside form Sehun and Jongin, had given the male a judging look. Chanyeol couldn’t help but think the man deserved the treatment.

Chanyeol glared at Kasper, tone harsh as he spoke. “Anything else?” Kasper smiled, eyes softly staring at Kris. He was still buried in the man’s neck however, the man had pulled him closer, hugging Kris’ smaller frame (Chanyeol briefly noted the fact that Kris had lost tons of weight after he departed Exo). Chanyeol’s frown deepened as Kasper looked back at him, almost knowing what the man was going to say. “Lee Soo Man wants you guys to go out tonight.”

 

Chanyeol grumbled as he entered the elevator. He roughly thumbed the button, D, before he settled down. He wasn’t sure why Soo Man thought that he could put the past behind him and become buddy-buddy with Kris again. Not when the man knew Chanyeol would rather destroy the man than do anything on the lines of “hanging out”. He would have stayed home but Joonmyun had insisted that he and Chanyeol go, allowing the others to stay in. They all had schedules anyway, except Jongin who was on bedrest for his ankle. Chanyeol couldn’t deny the momentary fury he felt when he heard Joonmyun’s decision. The man had been just as lost as Chanyeol, if not completely devastated, when Kris decided to be selfish and leave them. However, what Joonmyun said as leader went and that’s why Chanyeol was even going to meet them in the dance room.

Chanyeol cursed lightly as the elevator dinged, forcing him to get out on the floor covered in dance rooms. He looked for the one that Exo occupied mostly since Kris left. They had dumped the one that reminded them of Kris, allowing Soo Man to leave it to NCT. His groaned when he noticed the lights on. Joonmyun was still upstairs so that left Chanyeol to deduce that Kris was already in there. He felt a groan build up in his chest as he got closer.

Through the crack door, he could see Kris. He was sitting on the only table in the room, back arched and his arms caressing a face. Chanyeol’s eyes widened when he noticed the man from earlier, engulfing Kris’ lips with his own. His arms were forcing the arch in Kris’ back as his body was settled between Kris’ spread legs. Chanyeol blanched at the sight. From what Chanyeol knew, Kris was always the dominate one. He never wanted to be the submissive, only the top. So, to say that Chanyeol was miffed would be an understatement.

A hand on his shoulder made him gasped. Behind him, with a confused smile, was Joonmyun. Chanyeol had his index finger to his mouth, urging Joonmyun to be quiet, before he jutted his thumb towards the door. Joonmyun sighed before he glanced over, eyes widening. Chanyeol took a peek as well. Kris was now , pushing lightly on the man’s chest. “No, Mark. Not here. Paloma-” The man shushed him. “Kris, it’s fine. We added you to the relationship.” Chanyeol watched Kris squirmed, the hand that was once pushing on his friend’s chest now clutched the material of his shirt. Chanyeol didn’t understand the words they had spoken before but he definitely understood the words Kris said next, “Love you, Mark.”

Chanyeol felt a squeeze in his chest as he watched the pair. He looked at Joonmyun, desperate, pleading him to make the first move. Joonmyun smiled sweetly at him before he rapt his hand against the door. Chanyeol watched as Kris jerked, hands pulled into his chest as his friend, Mark, pulled away from him. Kris looked up nervously, fingers twining and undoing repeatedly as he tried to smile at Joonmyun and Chanyeol as they walked in, Joonmyun leading the duo. “Are the rest….” Joonmyun smiled softly. “Sehun as a movie to rehearse for tomorrow, so does Kyungsoo. Jongin is on bed rest. Broken ankle. And the rest have promotion.” Kris nodded, a hand rousing his tousled locks. He looked good with shoulder length hair.

Kris hopped down from the table, eyes on Mark before he turned back towards Joonmyun and Chanyeol. “This is Ma-” “Diesel. Vin Diesel.” Chanyeol looked at the man, eyes wide as he took in the man’s features. Chanyeol had seen movies with the actor before. He wondered why it took him so long to realize him. Joonmyun didn’t look nearly as taken aback as Chanyeol as he smiled at the elder. “A pleasure to meet you.” Vin nodded. “Likewise.” Chanyeol stayed mute as he watched the rest interact. Joonmyun and Vin were talking about something in English while Kris looked mildly embarrassed. He turned eyes towards Chanyeol, eyes desperate for him to do something.

It was then that Chanyeol did something stupid. He suggested that they stayed in and ordered something and watched something on the flat screen in the practice room. Mark, after hearing the English version from Kris, had been thankful while Joonmyun simple shrugged. The leader strutted towards the lounge area before plopping down on a couch, patting it for them to join him. Vin was the first one to strut over, eyes narrowing when Kris and Chanyeol took a few moments before hesitatingly walking forward. Kris tentatively sat beside Vin while Chanyeol casually laid against a firm Joonmyun. Chanyeol relished in the tone muscles, comfy in the arms of the man he had taken refugee in over the many years since Kris’ departure.

Kris picked at his fingers idly as he stared between Joonmyun and Chanyeol, eyes guilty. Chanyeol wondered why. He only left him and Joonmyun when they needed him most, starting the trend of the Chinese members seeking comfort outside the group. There was nothing for him to feel bad about. Kris smiled awkwardly as he asked everyone if they wanted to order something, asking Vin in English. Chanyeol watched, crestfallen, as Kris and Vin spoke softly, Kris shy as he pressed his hand on the larger male’s thigh. He pained him how quickly Kris had moved on since their relationship. Was Chanyeol merely a fling? Was Joonmyun merely an escaped? Was the whole three years’ relationship a joke to Kris? Chanyeol shook his head, trying to expel the one coming headache.

 

Joonmyun had ended up ordering chicken. Chanyeol knew it wasn’t because he liked the poultry, it was because Kris liked the poultry. Chanyeol wanted Joonmyun to stop being nice, to give up his endearing persona to the man who hurt them both. It was one of the things that made Chanyeol differ from Joonmyun. Where he was rough and rugged, Joonmyun was soft and sweet. Always so caring when he was obviously hurt.

So they had chicken. Vin tried to use his limited Korean, to thank them for the meal, and Joonmyun played along. It was Kris and Chanyeol that were awkward. It was at some point that Joonmyun and Vin began to side eye them, urging them to do something- say something that would ease the atmosphere. And Chanyeol, for the most part, tried. He tried to bring up the conversation of the weather and how good the food was, but Kris wasn’t having any of it.

It wasn’t long before Chanyeol and Kris were casted away by Joonmyun, telling them that they were killing the vibe and demanded they discuss their issues. Chanyeol thought he was being ridiculous as Vin and him shooed them out of the room, leaving the two to stand idly in the hallway. Kris looked so small as he began to shrink in on himself. Chanyeol stopped himself from wrapping him up in his arms. Instead, he jutted a finger before he asked in a cold voice, “Want to talk over there?” Kris nodded, allowing Chanyeol to lead him as if he was a stray dog. Chanyeol lead Kris to a vacant dance room, one that was labelled Trainees C. He knew he’s be able to get away with it. Trainees would never sass an established member of the company.

Chanyeol locked the door, surprised to see Kris standing confused in the middle of the room when he turned around. He gestured for the elder to take a seat at one of the stray plastic chairs. When Kris finally took a ginger seat, Chanyeol moved one in front of him before sitting down. Chanyeol screwed his face up before leaning against the back of the uncomfortable plastic. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? You want us to suffer. That’s why you’re back.”

Kris blanched, eyes wide at the others proclamation. “No I-” “And on top of that, you purposefully brought that boyfriend of yours!” Kris hung his head in shame. “Did you do it to hurt me? To hurt us?! We were just a notch in your bedpost! You used us and when you were done, you left us and muzzled your way into a successful relationship. Have you no-” A sharp, “Shut up!” cut Chanyeol. Kris was fuming. Despite how good it felt to lay it on Kris, Chanyeol knew he went too far. He had pushed all his bitterness onto Kris and now he was scared it might be too far.

“What the do you know? Do you know how hard it was to be in a band, a company, that didn’t could care less if you dropped dead at any moment? Do you know how stressful it is to be in the midst of lawsuits and court battles while you try to make money to keep you afloat? Do you know how hard it is to be rejected by the country to grew to love and have to start over?” Chanyeol was silent. “Of course you don’t. ‘Cuz it was oh so bloody comfortable to be someone likeable. To not do what you want. What you really want.” Kris stood up and began to pace, something Chanyeol recalled he did when he was infuriated.

Kris ran a hand through his beautiful long hair, his pale hands merging with his blonde locks. “I wanted to come back, see you and Joon. But I couldn’t. I worked so hard. I got the leads in many movies in China. I was on Vogue with a Jenner. I made it as an international model. I was accepted in two American movies and was even accepted by Drake to play with team Canada. And I’m not saying this to brag. Did you think it was easy? To hop fields?” If Chanyeol was being honest, he did think it was easy. At least, Kris made it looked easy. “I worked my of everyday to get these oppurtunities. I struggled to do these things. So don’t you dare belittle me when all you have to your name is a ing band!” Kris looked Chanyeol right in the eyes, dark chocolate hues burning red.

“I missed you guys everyday. I listened to every song you guys came out with. Watched every teaser. Tried to keep up with the numerous yet sporadic music videos. I wanted to be there for you guys. When Kyungsoo release Pure Love, I watched it three times. When Joon was announced to be in a Drama, I was so happy for him. When you hooked up with Far East, I was beaming. When Jongin broke his damned ankle, I was ready to fly out to Korea. Sehun in a movie? I felt like a proud mother. Even Lay’s solo and CBX. I reacted to every single thing. I watched every stage and worked hard to keep up with you guys. Despite being snubbed by you. Despite my children being snubbed by you.” Kris shook his head. “You think its so easy? You try it. I’ve done so many things I wish I didn’t to get where I am. Worked with people who made me feel lowly and imperfect for having an accent. I didn’t come here for this . I didn’t want to come. I just wanted to spend time with my boyfriend.”

Chanyeol shuddered when Kris glared at him. “And for the record, I didn’t muzzle my way into anything! I may be dating Vin and Paloma but that isn’t something you can knock me for. Not when I dated both you and Joonmyun.” Kris shook violent, his voice thick with an on coming sob. “I love Mark! When I needed someone when I was in America, he took care of me. When I needed help with my acting, he adjusted to aid me better. When I was wallowing in depression, he lent me his shoulder.” Kris suddenly sank into his former seat, burying his face in his hands.

“I never meant for Mark, Paloma, and I to be in the relationship we have now. I was thoroughly against it. But the more I spent with Mark, the more I wanted him. More than anyone I’ve been with before.” Chanyeol, stung by the omission, waved away Kris’ sour apology. “He was just a co-worker. He brought me coffee every other morning, and I returned the favour. He was sweet and I liked that. But I wasn’t ready for anything other than friendship. And Mark was a taken man. But that didn’t stop him from pursuing me.

Him and Paloma had ambushed one day after work. I hadn’t thought anything of it. Paloma had been greeting me after work all the time. I thought nothing of it when Mark and Paloma asked me if I wanted a ride. Everything was normal until they reached my residence. Mark held me back and asked me to join them in an evening of ‘fun’. I was scared. I never even had with you or Joon!” Chanyeol frowned. He was right. Kris had been a when they had met. He had stayed a when he left. “So I declined,” Kris mused, “I was scared. I just left the car and didn’t look back. I couldn’t look Mark in the eyes. He was so gorgeous, so beautiful. And so was Paloma. I couldn’t compete. I was just this little Asian kid compared to them. This Canadian-Chinese boy who was slowly piecing the linings back and they were these established. They had their lives set out and I was just inadequeate.

So I ignored them and wanted them to understand that I liked them, both, and I never wanted to hurt them. But Mark never gave up. He apologized for making me feel so uncomfortable. He even took Paloma and I on a joint date. I eventually gave in. Moral of the story, don’t go around talking about relationships where you don’t know a single !” Kris growled. Chanyeol nodded, eyes sad. “Did you guys have ?” Kris gapped at him, looking unsure of what to say. Chanyeol knew he wasn’t being fair but- “I just have to know. Have you guys had .” Kris looked Chanyeol dead in the eyes and he knew he wasn’t going to lie. “We haven’t. I… I don’t think I’ll ever get to experience that. With them or anyone else.”

The omission made Chanyeol stare at him curiously. “Why not?” Kris shrugged, honestly swimming beneath the orbs. “I can’t. I… I physically can’t. Mild touching is fine but the moment anywhere… down south is touched, I get sick. Like I’m going to faint and pass out. That’s the same thing, isn’t it?” Chanyeol nodded. Kris sighed as he looked at the younger, wondering if he still needed clarifications. Chanyeol understood though. Enough that he didn’t have to continue hearing about Kris’ inability to preform in the bedroom. Part of Kris’ confession made him feel better. That him and Joonmyun weren’t really just benchmarks in Kris’ nonexistent lives. However, it also made him feel like he wasn’t special enough. Like he couldn’t please Kris ually and that’s why he wasn’t able to be his first. It was selfish yet Chanyeol couldn’t help the way he felt.

Kris looked at him, eyes pleading for Chanyeol to stop the awkwardness. Chanyeol smiled reassuringly at him. If Kris was willingly to move forward, so was he.

 

Chanyeol groaned as he leafed through his wardrobe. Kris had invited him and the maknaes out for lunch. Vin wouldn’t be coming, which Chanyeol was secretly grateful for. The actor had to return America to continue filming his upcoming movie. Chanyeol wasn’t sure how he felt about Kris with other people. Part of him wanted to keep him all for himself and the rest of him knew that wasn’t possible. Kris wasn’t his. He hadn’t been his nor Joonmyun’s for two years. And in those two years, Kris was able to move on with his life and find two people to replace him and Joonmyun.

Chanyeol, with a sigh, gave up on the outfit. They weren’t even going out for two hours and he was already a hot mess. What did he expect to happen? For Kris to admit his undying love for him and have everything go back to how it was? For things to revert to the times were Kris was still in the band, managing the entire group with Joonmyun? Chanyeol was being hopelessly optimistic. Nothing could be the shiny ray of hope it had once been. Not when they had all aged four years and weren’t all looking for the same paths in life.

Chanyeol, sunken, trudged to meet the others in the living room. Only the maknaes and Joonmyun were there, the others fulfilling their full schedules. Sehun was strewn across Jongin’s lap as they played some shooting game. Joonmyun was nursing a cup of hot chocolate, the elder always preferring a hot glass of melted cocoa and milk over toasted beans, a paper in his hands. Chanyeol took a seat across from Joonmyun, hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what was going on in the elder’s head. Was he as conflicted as he was? Was he thinking of the eldest with scorn? Or, perhaps, longing? Chanyeol missed him. Why would Joonmyun not hold the same sentiments.

Joonmyun caught Chanyeol’s gaze from above the paper, deciding to hold it for a few minutes before he took a swing from the cup Chanyeol gaze him from his birthday. The word Hyung was peeling and the cup was on the verge of chipping from overuse yet Joonmyun insisted he continued to use it. The elder rested the paper on the table and stared into Chanyeol’s eyes. “Is something wrong?” Chanyeol looked over at the maknaes, locking eyes with Jongin. He was thankful when the younger roused Sehun and gathered him into the room, most likely under the pretense that they were to get ready.

Joonmyun raised a brow as he got up, leaving his cup behind a he went to the small kitchen they had in the dorm. When he returned, he had a pale blue mug. When he rested it down in front of Chanyeol, taking his seat from before, the male was able to see that inside was coffee, three sugar cubes and three creamers laid on the side. Just how Chanyeol like it. Chanyeol did up his coffee under the watchful eyes of Joonmyun. Joonmyun waited until he was already taking his first few sips of coffee before he began to talk.

“What’s wrong? You seem anxious.” Chanyeol blanched a bit. “Nothing. It’s-” The growl Joonmyun made, sharp and hostile, made Chanyeol halt. There was no point in lying to the man. Joonmyun had always seen through him. “Seeing… Seeing Yifan made me realize how much I missed him. And then we had that talk and I realized that I was being upset with him for no reason. That he didn’t mean to hurt us as much as I thought. I was just being selfish. And now… I want to be with him… Sorta?” Joonmyun stare at him, expression blank. He seemed to be confused yet, Chanyeol suspected he had every right to be. He had just dropped a bombshell on the elder and now he had to comprehend.

Joonmyun sipped his cocoa, eyes never leaving Chanyeol. His gaze was piercing and made Chanyeol shrink under it. “So, you… want to get back with Kris?” The question left a deafening silence reverberate throughout the room. When Joonmyun put it that way, it made him sound ungrateful. Chanyeol stayed silent. Joonmyun scoffed as he looked Chanyeol dead in the eye. “What about me then?” The words stopped Chanyeol dead in his tracks. His eyes were locked on Joonmyun who casually sipped his, most likely cold, hot chocolate as he picked back up the paper.

He spoke over it as he read lightly. “I just thought… I couldn’t push myself over onto you after Kris left. I thought you needed space and so did I. I thought you’d tell me when you were ready but the time never came up with the never ended schedules.” Chanyeol blinked at Joonmyun. In his anguish and longing for the Chinese-Canadian member of their relationship, he had partly forgotten that he was still in a relationship with Joonmyun. He had been selfish and left Joonmyun waiting for him. Chanyeol gave him and apologetic smile. Joonmyun waved him away and smiled at him.

The guilt surged through him as he placed his hand a top of Joonmyun’s paper, lowering it to the table surface. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Joonmyun shook his head, letting go of the paper to hold Chanyeol’s hands. “It’s fine. You were hung up over Kris. I understand. For a long time, so was I. But after a while, I remembered I had you and it was all fine.” When Chanyeol smiled at Joonmyun this time, it was full.

 

When it came down to spending time with Kris before he had to return to America, Chanyeol still felt that longing. That need to be full of Kris and have his essences bred life into him. Chanyeol would have relished on that need and want yet now? Since that talk with Joonmyun? All Chanyeol felt whenever he retired home from an evening or late brunch with Kris was guilt and agony. How had he been able to Chanyeol up so ing bad? How had he been able to tarnish everything that Chanyeol had once believed in and taken it to a level unphantomable?

Joonmyun had accompanied him to see Kris off. It was a late night flight to America that Soo Man and Kasper had booked for Kris. “To ease the amount of haters that come to see you off,” Kasper had explained. The turn up hadn’t been bad in the slightest. A hundred or so people. All to diminish Kris’ splendor and slander his achivements. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. A few people showed up to give Kris things like gifts or their undying support. Chanyeol hadn’t realized that Kris had been given such a frigid shoulder from his once loving fanbase.

Kris had spent a fair amount of time texting Vin and Paloma. He had apologized immensely, crestfallen in the idea that he was being rude. Joonmyun had reassured him that it was fine, that his lovers wanted to talk to him before he couldn’t talk to them for several hours. Chanyeol had wanted to tell him he should acknowledge him and Joonmyun more. That they were there and not Paloma or Vin. But the guilty swirled in his veins and made him feel sick with shame. Chanyeol had opted to squeezing Joonmyun’s hand.

It wasn’t long into their jovial conversation, the trio squealing about some escapade Joonmyun had encountered while on the set of his new drama, when Kris’ plan to LAX had announced that it was available to board. Kris frowned as he gathered his things, hugging them both and murmuring soft apologies into each of their ears in accented Korean. Chanyeol felt his arms tensing in try and wrap itself around Kris in a tighter hug, almost as if he wanted to keep him from boarding the plane. But he forced himself to move away from the elder, opting to drape himself over Joonmyun instead. With a pompous wave, Kris launched himself off towards his plane.

 

Joonmyun smiled widely at Chanyeol as they watched the plane carrying Kris fly off. “You know, I’m kind of relieved that Kris came by. I finally have you back, even if you still partly desire him.” Chanyeol sputtered on his sip of coke, hacking as he rested the glassware beside his plate. Joonmyun had chosen the moment that they were in some restaurant, feasting on pork belly and soon dae, for him to make such a large confession. Joonmyun worriedly tared at Chanyeol as the younger took a large swig of his coke. He waited until Chanyeol looked decent to affirm that Chanyeol was alright.

“I’m fine! I’m fine! Don’t you ever do that again!” Joonmyun laughed at the other’s frantic behaviour. “I won’t. I just wanted to let you know.” Chanyeol smiled as he leaned forward, eyes boring holes into the others. “Wanna hear a secret?” Joonmyun nodded, eyes bright with excitement. God. Chanyeol loved that look on the elder. Chanyeol felt the love swell in his chest.

“I’m really happy too.”