falling
eighteenBeing a manager is kind of boring; she just sits there the whole day, waiting for the day to end. Mina’s chances to film are few and far between, so most of the time both of them are just sitting there, Chaeyoung stoning, and Mina reading her script. She turns to look at Mina. Her first impression of Mina was that of a feisty, money-hungry actress, and it’s funny how that has totally changed now. She realized now that Mina is a very quiet person, preferring to keep to herself. She finds it ironic how such a quiet person is in this industry, where it is required of them to be as frivolous and flamboyant as possible to attract attention. Maybe that is why Mina sticks out like a sore thumb amidst the other extras, Chaeyoung thinks, as she looks at how they are all conjugating in another corner whereas the two of them sit here, separated from them.
“Why don’t you hang out with them?” Chaeyoung asks, head tipping towards the group of extras to indicate who the ‘them’ is.
Mina’s gaze follows and she shifts a little in her seat. “They don’t want me to.”
Chaeyoung frowns. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not like you, not like them.”
Chaeyoung only gets more confused at Mina’s reply. “So, are you like a mermaid or something? A succubus maybe?”
The older girl sighs. “I’m Japanese.”
So it’s not personality difference, but discrimination. Chaeyoung feels her blood rise at the thought of it. “That’s stupid. Ignore those stupid f***tards.”
Mina frowns at the coarse language. “You know for a little kid, you swear too much.”
Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. “It’s my mouth, I say whatever I want.”
Mina just grimaces and they fall back into silence, and it’s funny how the silences that fill the air around them are never awkward or uncomfortable, even if they don’t know each other well.
--
They are taking a break at the nearby market, the two of them walking side by side as they walk down the aisles of the stalls. Chaeyoung takes in the sights of all the different stalls, already deciding that she wants to have yukhoe and dukkbeoki. She turns around, wanting to ask Mina’s opinion when she notices the girl is gone. Looking back, she spots Mina dropping some coins into a beggar’s bowl, the beggar thanking her profusely as he bows.
Chaeyoung feels her heart warm at this side of Mina; the woman is not as aloof and uncaring as she thought. Mina jogs up to her, and Chaeyoung tries to keep the smile off her face as she turns to continue their walk down the market. Mina is like a deck of cards; every time you draw, you get a different card. Likewise for Mina, every time Chaeyoung observes the Japanese girl, she sees different sides of her and it surprises her every single time. This time, it's Chaeyoung who stops. She whistles to get Mina’s attention, tilting her head to signal to the restaurant she picked.
They enter the restaurant and Chaeyoung takes off her outer coat, hanging it on her chair. She takes a quick glance at the menu, already deciding that she wants yukhoe. She looks at Mina, sees her frowning at the menu. The ahjumma arrives to take their order, Chaeyoung quickly ordering yukhoe and looking at the girl opposite her expectantly. Mina wets her lips. “Just bibimbap will do.”
Chaeyoung gives her a knowing look and stops the ahjumma before she can scribble down Mina’s order. “We will just take two yukhoe, thank you.”
“But-“ Mina tries to protest but Chaeyoung beats her to it. She collects Mina’s menu and hands it over to the ahjumma as she beams at the older woman. “That is all, thank you.”
Mina gives a strained smile to the ahjumma before turning to glare at Chaeyoung when the lady is out of earshot. “Bibimbap was fine, why do you have to order that whatever dish it was again?!”
Chaeyoung pours herself and Mina water, gulping down the whole contents of her cup. She lets out a refreshing sigh as she slams her cup down, pouring herself another cup. “Don’t worry, I will pay.”
Mina doesn’t pay heed to Chaeyoung’s words, and starts to fumble with her wallet. Chaeyoung just looks at the girl opposite her, leaning her head against her hands. This woman struggles to get by, but still gave money to the beggar just now? Unbelievable. She reaches over to clip Mina’s wallet close. “I said I will pay. Besides, I still owe you like what, a few million dollars?”
Mina sulks and sips on her water. Chaeyoung just continues to stare at the girl sitting opposite her, trying to figure her out. The older girl then stares back at Chaeyoung sternly. “Don’t fall for me.”
Chaeyoung lets out a sneer and looks back at her seriously. “Don’t worry. I have a girlfriend already.”
She sees Mina’s face contort in a certain way, but before she can even ascertain what it means, the older girl’s face is schooled back into her standard emotionless face. Brushing it aside, Chaeyoung decides to quell her curiosity. “So why did you give the beggar that dollar if you can’t even afford food yourself?”
“Having that extra dollar may help me get that fancy dish instead of bibimbap today, but it may be a matter of life and death for him. That one dollar can get him bread to save him from dying of starvation.” Mina stares at the younger girl with a steely look in her eyes that makes Chaeyoung feel very small. “Someone like you who has enough to eat all your life wouldn’t understand.”
This is no longer the soft side of Mina that lets the extras outcast and bully her, this is the hard side of Mina who has been around, who has to work double jobs to make ends meet. Chaeyoung is rendered speechless. All her life she had never encountered this problem; there was always food on the table, she always had enough to spend. It’s not like she didn’t know there are people out there suffering from these problems, but for it to be so close to her now, for it to be shoved into her face, makes Chaeyoung feel very, very blessed, but also very guilty at the same time.
Their food is served and Chaeyoung is mixing up her food, reflecting upon the things Mina had said when she looks up from her food just in time to see Mina put the first mouth of food into . She sees how the older girl’s eyes widen at the taste of the food, and Chaeyoung can’t help but look down at her lap to hide her smile. The girl can be very mature because of her circumstances, but it doesn’t mean she has lost her innocence.
Halfway through the meal, Chaeyoung realizes she’s spending her time watching Mina eat rather than consuming her own plate of food. She sees the small sad frown on the older girl’s face as she finishes her last bite and Chaeyoung frowns. Looking down at her bowl of half-eaten yukhoe, she pushes it to Mina. “Eat more, you are so skinny.”
She rises from her seat, escaping before Mina can reject this offer. “I’m going to pay, come out when you are done.”
--
Chaeyoung puts on her coat and heaves a sigh as she leaves the restaurant, the cold chilly winter air immediately hitting her face and biting into her bones. Stuffing her hands into her pocket, her hands meet with some loose change from paying the bill. She looks at the few beggars who are sitting down on the floor and she recalls what Mina had said. That one dollar can get him bread to save him from dying of starvation.
She huffs as she makes her way to them, trying to drop money in each one of their bowls. They all thank her profusely, and Chaeyoung just bows her head at each of them, not knowing what to say. As she puts money in the last beggar’s bowl, she turns around to return to the restaurant, only to see Mina leaning against the door of it, looking at her with a small smile. Embarrassed to be caught, Chaeyoung makes her way back to Mina, clearing as she scratches the back of her head. “Let’s go.”
She walks ahead, but soon hears footsteps beside her, following her pace. A hand pats her on the head and she hears Mina’s soft voice. “Thank you.”
Chaeyoung shrugs, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. But she turns to shoot a teasing smile at Mina, dimples showing. “Don’t fall for me.”
Mina rolls her eyes at Chaeyoung’s familiar words and they continue their walk back to the shooting site with smiles on their face.
--
They are back in their makeshift chairs and Chaeyoung is dying of boredom as they wait. Mina is back to burying her head in her script again and Chaeyoung has already finished scrolling all of her social networking feeds, leaving her with nothing to do. She sighs and rests her head against the backrest of her chair, looking up at the sky. She wonders how the blue sky can create such a perfect harmony with the white clouds when she feels a droplet of water fall on her nose. Sticking out her hand, she sees a snowflake land on her palm before it melts in her warmth and she immediately straightens, almost shooting out of her seat.
“It’s the first snow!!” She tells Mina excitedly, watching as more and more snowflakes start falling on them. Mina looks up, holding out her palms like Chaeyoung. “Yeah, it seems like it.”
“’Yeah it seems like it?’ Come on, you have to be more excited than that!” Chaeyoung exclaims, not sure why the stoic Mina is not sharing her excitement. She grabs the older girl’s hand, lifting her arm. “Look at all the snowflakes on your coat! They are so pretty!”
“Yeah, they are quite pretty…” Mina mutters but Chaeyoung is too engrossed in looking at the snowflakes on Mina’s coat to realize that said girl’s gaze is not on the snowflakes, but on herself.
Some staff hollers from afar for all the extras to gather for the shoot and Mina immediately shoots up from her seat, throwing her script and phone to Chaeyoung. “I’ll be back.”
Chaeyoung watches as Mina hurries over to the center of the shooting site and grumbles. How can someone be more excited to work than to see the first snow? She really doesn’t understand. Speaking about first snow, Nayeon will be livid to know that they didn’t spend it together, and even more furious to know that she had just spent it with some other girl. Her phone rings right on time, and she chuckles as she glances at the caller ID.
“Yeah?”
“WHERE ARE YOU NOW IT’S THE FIRST SNOW!” Nayeon screams over the phone and Chaeyoung grimaces as she moves the phone away from her ear.
“I’m not in Seoul right now. Sorry unnie, I won’t be able to spend the first snow with you.” Chaeyoung says as she leans back in her chair. This unnie and her obsession with watching the first snow. Nayeon is probably the only one who believes in that cliché saying where true love will blossom between two people if they were out in the first snow together. But then again, Nayeon has always been a hopeless romantic.
“NOOOO!!!” Nayeon wails suddenly and it doesn’t sound like it’s because of the bad news the younger girl has just delivered. Chaeyoung is alarmed. Has she met with some accident or something?
“Unnie, what happened? Are you okay?”
“YOO JUNGYEON GO AWAY I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU.” Nayeon screams, more at said girl she’s addressing rather than Chaeyoung, but the younger girl just laughs.
“Unnie,” Chaeyoung calls to get the attention of the other girl, sure that the older girl is hitting the hell out of her friend right now.
“Yeah?” Nayeon sounds breathless and Chaeyoung knows she’s right.
“Don’t be so harsh on Jungyeon-unnie, she’s your true love now that you are spending first snow together.” Chaeyoung jokes, not sure why she doesn’t even feel a single tinge of jealousy at the thought of her girlfriend spending first snow with another girl. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t buy into that crap.
“Not funny Son Chaeyoung. And I would like to remind you that you are my girlfriend and I want to spend first snow with you. Today’s snow is invalid, invalid you hear me?!” Nayeon insists and Chaeyoung just laughs.
She feels the phone in her lap vibrate, and picks it up to see a notification on Mina’s phone. goes dry at what she sees. “Un-unnie, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
She hangs up on Nayeon, staring intently at the notification on Mina’s phone.
Come over to JYP Club later. I will pay you twice of what you usually charge.
--
a/n: falling snowflakes (DO YOU KNOW THAT EVERY SNOWFLAKE IS UNIQUE) and people falling in love :)))))))))
also, this chapter talks about very important issues: discrimination and privilege. it's 2017 (happy new year btw!), and it's very sad that such things still exist and is very much prominent in our society and world today. how privileged are you? be grateful, but be aware so you can be thankful, and also to help others who are less privileged. encourage y'all to watch these two videos below!!
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