Hye Kyo stares at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks retain a slight flush which isn’t completely unrelated to the wonderfully languid she and Joong Ki had just thirty minutes ago, and her hair is still damp from her quick shower. They had to leave for the event in five minutes or they will be late, and yet she stands there, and stares.

It was her first time and Joong Ki made it sure that it was memorable for her. He had been so considerate of her feelings and her well-being. Its funny coz, she thought Joong Ki had it before but its his first time too. It is partially revealed when at the heat of the moment, he said that he was glad she was his first. And she was glad, too.

The way Joong Ki had with her brings a whole new meaning to the act; their lack of experience made up ten fold by the desperate appreciation he seems to have of her. It has her gasping his name in a litany and returning every favour he grants her with just as much vigour.

She couldn’t imagine giving herself to someone rather than Joong Ki. She tried, really hard to give herself to Hyun Bin but it felt wrong. So wrong, and that maybe is the reason why he ended everything with her. Yet, all of this seems so familiar with Joong Ki.

With him, she settles. With him, she finds comfort. With him, she was being reassured that she’s not alone. With him, she feels like she can have a happy life in the future. With him, she starts wanting for a family of her own.  He was her own reflection.

And yet. And yet everything about him scares her.

In the beginning, she had wished Joong Ki was a jerk - at least then it would be easy to hate him. But Song Joong Ki is an impossible person to hate - for her at least. He has a deep, honest kindness in him which shifts her very soul. And the way he reveres her still makes her breath stutter; not only in the simple blush that taints his cheeks when she holds his hand, or the way his mouth worships her skin, causing her back to arch and her toes to curl against the mattress of their bed. But in the way she catches him looking at her sometimes; like he can’t believe his luck.

Hye Kyo turn around and there he was, putting on his long sleeve shirt and she finds herself grateful of it, of him.

“We’re gonna be late,” his voice interrupts her thoughts and Hye Kyo looks up to find Joong Ki doing up his tie now. She smiles at the sight of him. She walks over and stand before him, replacing his hands with hers as she finishes his tie and then uses it to draw him close.

“Well, whose fault is that?”

He grins as his hands settle on her hips, thumbs teasing at the waistline of her skirt. “Didn’t hear you complaining earlier.” His voice is teasing. “Manager Kang texted me, we will be sitting beside each other.”

He tugs at her hips and presses a kiss to the corner of . “You have to get dressed now or I can dress you if you want.” He was holding her dominantly and continue kissing her that she thinks, they aren’t going to leave her bedroom if he have his way with her again.

“Joong Ki, we have an award show to grace. Let go of me now ”

“I think it can wait...” he said.

“No, it can’t and we already missed walking the red carpet. It would be rude to not show up altogether.” He sighed. Clarity of mind takes over him and he let her go.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hye Kyo keeps fidgeting at the lower entrance of the National Korea Theater, they were about to enter the venue for a while and the guards assigned to them just checked the area before they can enter. Joong Ki was beside her and he was humming a happy tune. He smiles at her and reaches for her hand, tugging her against his body.

“Joong Ki, why don’t you go ahead.” She said as she abruptly let go of his hand making him glance up at her with a questioning look in his eyes. But,  he nods and releases her to leave. She follows him silently afterwards as she thinks about what he means to her.

Is she ready for a real committment this time? Hye Kyo thought.

She certainly love him, and she’s shared more of herself with him than she has with anyone. And not just physically. It gives her a strange sort of comfort when she thinks about how much he knows her, and how much she knows him. She still finds herself digging out his secrets and his personality like sifting for gold. Except every piece of him she finds is gold, there's not a bit of dirt in him.

He loves his family more than anything, his greatest fear is that she would suffer for him. His work is a source of joy for him and he makes an effort to make it enjoyable to everyone he’s going to work with. His friends mean everything to him and he can’t stand the idea of anyone sacrificing something for him. He always gives everything of himself to others; he doesn’t know how to hold himself back as she does.

~~~~~~~~~~

Joong Ki had a really visible frown etched on his face and a sadness that rapidly spreading over his being. He was sure that they were okay when they leave her house but Hye Kyo’s sudden change of mood just a while ago made him worry.

He’s worried that he’s still wasn’t enough for her. He’s worried that his drastic actions propelled her to stay away from him. He’s worried that in some way Hye Kyo doesn’t trust him enough. Enough to let him walk with her inside this hall full of people.

Joong Ki made way to his designated seat after giving his respect to some people from the government. He instinctively looked around to see if she’s inside the vicinity. He was seated already when a hand tap his shoulder from behind. It was Lee Kwang Soo.

“Yah, Joong Ki. You look like someone had gone to their resting place. Its an award show, not a funeral. What’s with the face?” Kwang Soo asked, a funny smile lingering in his face.

“Nothing...ahm, tell me Kwang Soo shi. What will you do if the woman you love doesn’t want to be with you?” Joong Ki asked, somewhat undecided to hear his answer.

“Mwo?......” Kwang Soo seeing that Joong Ki is really sad decided to answer his question honestly. “I’ll cry and celebrate the pain especially if I trul