“I’m not.”

Sunny who was shocked, snapped her head to Taeyeon. She can't really read Taeyeon's well guarded face.

Taeyeon walked fast onto the table. Not even sparing a glance to the both who occupied her table, she closed her laptop and started to pack her belongings. 

“Taeyeon,” Sunny called. She wanted to say something.

Taeyeon beat her. “Looks like this what your words mean. So, I won’t meddle into your privacy as well. I got it now.”

“It’s not,” Sunny retorted. 

But, Taeyeon ignored the comment and kept packing her things.

Sooyoung sat in silence.

Meanwhile, shock still ate Sunny, adding the confusion in how to assess the situation. Words were caught in and questions ran in her head. What did Taeyeon hear? She couldn't say something as she didn't know what the latter had heard.

When all her things were gathered, Taeyeon left the table with no further words or glances, passed the bewildered Tiffany and out of the café.

Sunny kept looking at Taeyeon through the window until the latter disappeared beyond the frame. She then stood up from the chair and grabbed her bag.

“Where are you going?” Sooyoung asked nervously.

“I’m here to talk to Taeyeon. I no longer have reason to stay.”

“Look, I don’t know Taeyeon would pop up suddenly like that. Besides wasn’t it the time she should know?” Sooyoung said. Her voice sounded too steady for someone who just broke a secret that had been kept more than ten years.

Sunny walked out.

Sooyoung followed closely behind and called out her name. Sunny acted like she didn't hear and kept fastening her pace.

“I’m sorry alright.” Sooyoung half yelled and reached out to grab Sunny’s wrist.

Sunny batted away before the grip properly formed on her wrist. She was breathing hard. “For what?” Sunny asked as she sensed no remorse in Sooyoung's apology. “Isn’t this what you want from long ago? To let Taeyeon know?”

There was a pause. “Yes,” Sooyoung firmly said. “How could you live like that, Sunny? Seeing Taeyeon acted fine and goes out with some other girls while you’re the one who’s hurting and console her when she broke up?”

“You don’t understand.” Sunny growled.

“What part?” Sooyoung spoke with the same tone.  “Can’t you see I’m trying to help you here? To set you free-”

“The part that I chose not to confess.” Sunny yelled. Her breath quivered. "Don't mask your words as if you're doing this for me, Soo."

Sooyoung's mouth gapped to say something. In the end, she asked, “Why?”

“I can't confess because I chose friendship over love,” Sunny said, she could feel water were formed on her lower lids. “Taeyeon and I have been friends for more than ten years. How could I be selfish and tell her my feeling with no other choice than to accept it?”

“Then why won’t you accept me?” Sooyoung pointed to herself in frustration. “I thought you did, Sunny.”

“Because I let you to kiss me?”

Sooyoung’s face scrunched up in betrayal. “Then, what did that mean?”

Sunny let out a frustrated sigh. “I didn’t kiss you back.”

Sunny could see the betrayal in Sooyoung’s face soon transformed to anger and disappointment. Sooyoung helped her to end her longagony; she might as well help to end Sooyoung’s. “I was confused and down. Then you kissed me without any consent of mine. Do you think I need a kiss when all I asked was companion? Then Sooyoung, please tell me, if I let Taeyeon go and accept you, would I be happy?”

Sooyoung walked closer to Sunny, she bowed and grabbed Sunny’s shoulder to convince, “I’ll treat you better. I’ll make you special if you give me a chance.”

Sunny stared into Sooyoung’s eyes and said, “I’ve been there, the world of special people. And I never intended to go back.”

Sooyoung’s hands loosened and Sunny walked away.

Sunny didn't hope that Sooyoung would forgive her this time, she just wished that Sooyoung would understand. She wasn't the same girl from back then, who feared the cruel decision she had made long time ago and blame it to the unaware Taeyeon. She had learnt to accept that, in fact, that was the fate she set for herself. To be Taeyeon's bestfriend.

Just before Sunny was completely out from their talking distance, Sooyoung asked, “So, that is indeed my flaw compared to Taeyeon, treating you better?”

Sunny’s feet stopped and spun around. The street was slowly filled with people as the night claimed her place. She retraced her footsteps towards Sooyoung, as close as she had to crane her neck to see tears were formed on Sooyoung’s eyes and fell with a blink. The latter was in pain.

Sunny’s anger and disappointment suddenly was blown away by the winter wind. They had been in this situation before. But now, Sunny knew better.

“No.” Sunny disagreed; she was as miserable as Sooyoung was. “I believed it for a moment, that it was what I need.” Sunny touched Sooyoung’s red cheeks that were cold despite of how they looked. “But then I realized I never wanted to be treated better. I’ve been offered kindness and sympathy. But they didn’t last as they demanded something to be returned. All I wanted is sincerity, Sooyoung.”

“I am sincere.” Sooyoung’s voice broke.

“You aren’t as long you compare yourself to someone else.”

A tear escaped from Sooyoung’s lower eye lid. Sunny wiped it off. “You’ve treated me well, Soo. But It doesn’t mean you’ve treated me right. You should start to think what’s best for you instead of me.” Sunny tiptoed and planted a kiss on Sooyoung’s cheek. Her hands slipped from Sooyoung’s cheek to shoulders then stopped at her arms. Sunny gave them a squeeze.

“I love you, you know,” Sooyoung said under her breath.

Sunny gave her apologetic smile. She remembered Sooyoung’s words from long ago. “But you have to love yourself first.” She caressed Sooyoung’s cheeks one more time before she left.

She hated that she had to break Sooyoung’s heart twice. Yet, like what happened long ago, she couldn’t do things her heart disagreed. It might be not the best decision she could make. But it was the right one.

Sunny's steps brought her home. In front of the door, she hesitated to open. Was Taeyeon home? In her mind, she answered herself. Imagining that behind the door, Taeyeon sat on the couch, turned around as she swung the door open, and their eyes met. She almost left out of fear. But her feet stopped her from completely spun around.

The tea had been spilled after all, where else she could run? Sunny inhaled the cold air and huffed. Sooner or later, she had to face this.

Inputting the key to her apartment with a worst case scenario, Sunny tried hard to calm herself.

“At least I could stop hoping.”

==== ==== ====

Taeyeon wondered around the block. She forgot to grab her jacket at the café and both her cell and cash was in its pocket. She lingered at a music store without buying anything until late before went back to retrieve her belongings. As she was closer to the cafe, her steps were slowed and she scanned the coffee house for safe signs. It was at the closing time and there were only two customers left. She didn’t see Sunny or Sooyoung. Leaving the coldness behind, she entered the warm building.

Tiffany spotted Taeyeon. “They already left a while ago.”

Taeyeon weakly nodded and looked to her former seat. It was clean.

“I keep it on my locker.” Tiffany informed.

“Thanks.”

“Paid your drinks too.”

Taeyeon blushed. “Thank you. I’ll repay you if I could retrieve my jacket. My money’s there.”

Tiffany kept cleaning the empty tables. Taeyeon walked towards her and helped.

“I’m sorry for the troubles,” Taeyeon said while flipping the chairs to the table.

“Hmm?”

“The mess we caused?”

Tiffany let out a small laugh. “It’s okay. At least you guys don’t spill anything. I really hate to clean up someone else’s mess. I have to clean twice cause usually the floor will get sticky you know.” Tiffany moved to another table.

Taeyeon flipped the last chair and moved to the table next to Tiffany.

“No no. That one.” Tiffany pointed to the table at the other side.

Taeyeon hesitated. But she thought it was the least she could do after creating a scene, she followed Tiffany’s order.

The last two customers le