Say we were friends 
But you gotta know that 
How you and I
I don’t get it 

You change when you talk
When you look at me
I know that no one knows
what I can see

So what are we
What are we
The problem is your answer baby'

I sighed wearily and looked at my clock. It was midnight but I couldn't sleep. My heart pounded too fast since I came back with Yerin to our dorm. I thought it will be better if I wrote down my feelings. Park Jinyoung oppa, my CEO always says that we should get inspiration from every little thing, which trigger emotions... for example happiness, madness, sadness but I just ended up crying. I didn't feel anything... nothing at all. I held the paper with my random lyrics and put inside my drawer. I didn't want to finish it... not yet.

The next morning

I waked up exhausted. Was yesterday just a dream, right? Then I saw my plastik tiara, which was a gift from Bambam. I shook my head and looked after my phone. It's 3 pm. and I got 4 messages from... Jaebum. 

'No, no, no' I whined.

'Can I come in?' suddenly Yerin sticked her head in at the door.

'Yeah' I tried to smile.

'So, how was your party yesterday? Am I a great organizer or a great organizer?' she grined.

'I can't choose... but it was the best surprise party ever. I'm so thankful'

'I'm glad that you liked it' she said 'By the way I made lunch. Will you come?'

'Yes, I just change my clothes first'

'Sure' then she went out. I took a deep breath and with trembling hands opened the messages. 

1. "I didn't mean it, what I said yesterday. You're just like a sister to me... nothing more."

2. "Please call me. We should clear up the things. Jimin, call me back!"

3. "We shouldn't have kissed... I'm a terrible friend."

4. "I'm sorry Jimin... everything's my fault... you're like my sister... I didn't know why I kissed you last night... I'm so sorry... I'm really sorry. Please call me back."

My tears began to flow. Why? Why are you such a jerk Jaebum? Why do you play with my feelings? Why are you so unsure about everything? Why do I still like you? I hate it... I hate this. Me and the GOT7 members were friends since I became trainee under the JYP ent. I always had good relationship with the guys. Bambam and Yungyeom were also 97liners, Jackson and Mark were fluent in English too, Jinyoung, Youngjae and me had the same interest: singing, watching movies. And Jaebum? I don't know... it was different with him. I can't explain... everything was just easier with him, we got along so well that I couldn't believe it. The way he treated me and talked to me was really special and I thought that I was precious to him as well.

So I... I confessed to him easily... but I didn't get a proper answer. He just said that I'm more than a friend but less than a lover to him. That's why he didn't want a relationship with me. Since then we didn't talk...  for about 5 months. I missed him so much, but I was sad... because if I'm more than a friend but less than a lover...then who I'm? Neither a friend, neither a lover... then what? Just someone, who exists? So we didn't communicate... till my birthday, which was yesterday. We drank but we weren't drunk, just braver as usual. I don't know how but we began to talk, and went for a walk. That was the problem. Because he confessed to me some things and then suddenly kissed me. That's all I remember. 

'Jimin, are you coming?' Yerin shouted.

'Yes, 10 minutes'

'Hurry! Don't you remember that we have a conference today?"

'Great' I mumbled. I didn't call Jaebum back or send an SMS. I just really didn't want to. 'Okay, I'm coming!'

1 hour later

'WHAAT? WHAT DID HE DO?'

'Yerin, not so loud! Gosh'

'Sorry, but it's so exciting. 5 months ago he said, you are more than a friend but less than a lover... like you were nothing...' I always told Yerin everything. She and Ayeon were my best friends. Of course we shared exciting things.

'Thanks Yerin for the reminding... I love you too'

'You know what I mean...'

'I guess'

'And now... he just kissed you... he kissed you Jimin!'

'You're still loud'

'Sorry... but I think it's not that bad. Honestly'

'Yerin... he's a jerk!'

'But he kissed you!'

'And then he said that we should forget it'

'Okay maybe he's a little bit confused'

'I don't understand him at all. He didn't want me 5 months ago. And now...okay we drank but we were sober... and he kissed me and confessed me some things but I'm still not his lover... and I don't want to be his friend neither.'

'Then be his nothing!'

'You know Yerin... your comments are really useful' I said sarcastically

'You're welcome my bestie' she laughed 'But seriously Jimin. There are more tragical things in life. I think we are pretty lucky. We have job in JYP, we have family, friends, fans... do we need more?'

'No' I smiled 'You're right'

Inside of JYP building

Most of the JYP singers were already inside. Wonder Girls, Miss A, 2PM, GOT7, TWICE, DAY6, Bernard Park, Ayeon etc... everybody greeted us, including GOT7. They sat next to us, because we had the best relationship with them and vica versa. Now it was rather awkward. I could feel the tension between me and Jaebum so did the members and Yerin. I knew that Jaebum really wanted to talk to me. He seemed desperate. But I was so dissappointed. I couldn't look at him. The whole conference was boring. Our CEO just talked about the upcoming tours, comebacks and that we should relax a little bit, because it's summer and we deserved the break. I listened to him, but couldn't concentrate. The atmosphere was awful.

'Are you okay?' Junior, who was the nearest to me leaned closer.

'Yes' I whispered.

'Sure?'

'Totally'

'You seem really frustrated'

'I'm okay... but thanks'

'If you want to talk with someone, I'm always here'

'I know and I'm grateful' I looked at Junior. He is a sweetheart. He always was. Once, for long, long, long time ago Yugyeom mentioned that Junior likes me and I laughed at him. It was ridiculous. Junior would be too good for me, he was always nice. I could imagine girls just like Suzy for Junior. I deserve boys like Jaebum, who doesnt't know, what I mean to him.

End of the conference

'Bye!' Yerin and I wawed to DAY6. We were the last, who stayed at the building.

'Shall we go?' I asked.

'Hell yes! I'm really hungry!'

'Me too' I patted my stomach 'We should eat some meat at that barbecue place'

'Meat heaven? But I want to eat pasta'

'We ate pasta yesterday at my party'

'Meat as well'

'Then pizza!'

'No! Fish! I'm starving to eat fish!'

'Pancake?'

'Chinese... I think Chinese'

'I swear, you 2 are the only ones, who can argue about eating' Mark shaked his head. I looked at him and then saw the boys.

'Guys, what are you doing here?' I freaked out.

'We are standing in front of the company?' said Jackson.

'Gosh, but it's dangerous... because of the fans'

'Chill out Yerin'

'She's right, go back inside!' I suggested. When we were inside, I became more comfortable.

'Was it really that necessary?'

'Yes! Because if the fans saw us, it would be on allkpop or koreaboo with some stupid title like some members of 15& and GOT7 are dating... or something like that...' I explained.

'Yeah sure...' they nodded, like we were crazy.

'We are not paranoid' said Yerin.

'Of course not' Yugyeom smirked.

'Just because we are co-workers and we saw each other everyday, and it's almost natural that we are together, besides 
we were just outside together like 3 minutes it still can be on some kpop portal' I commented the situation.

'Okay, maybe we are paranoid' Yerin admitted.

'Yes... nobody really cares about us' I nodded.

'They think we're like their sisters'

'We overreacted' I said finally. The boys just burst into laughter.

'So what are you doing here guys?'

'We are going to our dorm and then we order some food. Do you want to come?' asked Junior.

'Yeah, sure' Yerin easily. I wasn't that ready to go. JB didn't talk the entire time but watched me constantly.

'I...can't because... so... I have to look after my cousin's snails' gosh Jimin, girl you're a really bad liar. Snails? Like seriously?

'What?' the boys looked at me weirdly. 

'Does your cousin have snails?' Bambam asked really curiously.

'Yes, 4. Sorry guys, but I promised him... so yeah'

'Okay' they said 'Have fun then!'

'Sure'

'I come with you' Jaebum voice was confident 'I have a headache, I want to take a walk and then go to the dorm'

'Okay, then let's meet at home.  But be careful... make sure that nobody notice you' said Jackson

'Sure it will be okay' Jaebum waved. Yerin hugged me and whispered to me "You're an awful liar". Then they went to the GOT7's dorm.

Jaebum and I walked quietly. There was almost nobody on the sreet and it was pretty dark, so I wasn't worried about that someone see us but the situation was so awkward. I wanted to escape. He didn't smile as usual. I think he was embrassed too. I should have said something but I couldn't... my heart pounded too fast. Deja vu... like yesterday.

'Look' he spoke finally 'I'm sorry...'

'You said that already'

'I know, but I'm really sorry'

'Whatever'

'Jiminnie' he stopped and then looked into my eyes.

'Don't call me like that'

'But you are my Jiminnie'

'I'm nothing to you... do you remember? More than a friend but less than a lover... then who I am?'

'An important person in my life'

'That's it? We kissed yesterday, but we are not a couple because you don't want to... and I don't want to be your friend either. So we are nothing'

'I like you'

'Don't lie to me'

'I don't lie... just don't know exactly what I feel. I enjoyed the kiss yesterday and I like you but a relationship? We were friends like for ages...'

'No, we were always more than friends'

'But less than lovers' he turned his head away.

'Maybe to you'

'Jimin, you are a wonderful person and I really like you. I like talking to you, walking with you, hanging out with you, watching movies together... but I don't know that I could look at you... as a woman... as a real, real woman'

'Excuse me?'

'I always looked at you as a sister'

'Do you kiss your sister then?'

'No, of course not. I have an ideal type and I still don't know if it matches you. I just don't know...'

'Oh so your ideal type is prettier and more girlish than me? Maybe don't talk as much as me and don't eat meat everyday... don't tell bad jokes and give more to the appearance and act like a princess? Is this your ideal type? Am I right? YOU JERK!' I shouted and my tears began to flow.

'No, I didn't say that'

'You tried to say it in a nice way'

'Jiminnie...'

'Don't you dare call me like that again'

'Jimin'

'Leave me alone...'

'Jimin please, I like you I just didn't know if we would make a good couple'

'Because you're so perfect?'

'No, no... Jimin please don't cry' too late.

'You know... your looks is maybe great but your attitude is awful. Bye!'

'Jimin'

'Just be happy that there is no one here. It would have been a fantastic news on the Internet.'

'Jimin!'

'Don't follow me!' I began to run. I was really lucky that we came to a desolated street. Otherweise I couldn't shout. I hated him... I really hated him. I went home with dissappointment. Yerin still wasn't at home. I presumed. She was with Mark... and she liked Mark... I think Mark liked Yerin as well. They were somehow alike while me and Jaebum... he was super handsome, trendy, funny and intelligent. I was boyish, childish and a bad jokes teller. Okay, I was not Suzy but... honestly there are no buts. I have just sat on the couch, when my phone began to ring. I didn't look at the screen. I was sure that it's Yerin.

'Hi my cutie pie. So how is it going with Mark? Please just don't say that he is soo handsome'

'I didn't know that I am your cutie pie... and I think I'm more handsome than Mark' somebody laughed. I frowned and look at my phone screen but it only showed the number.

'Who are you?'

'Junior' 

'Ohh' we had good relationship but I didn't have his number and I thought that he doesn't know my number either 'How's the eating party?'

'Boring... and how are the snails?' he laughed.

'They are fine' I smiled.

'Do you have time?' he asked.

'Yes... why?'

' Well...'