00.

 

 

Wonshik really thought this was a bad idea. He knew it when Hongbin had mentioned it to him the first time, although Wonshik had foolishly believed it was just a fleeting whim and really by then he should have realized that Hongbin was the most stubborn human being on the planet, and he knew it was a bad idea even now that he was at the threshold of what it had to be the innocent waiting room of an oratory, while instead, it was the headquarter of a very special support group.

Hongbin didn’t hesitate a moment, he had crossed with extreme disregard the entrance like he was just going to buy tomatoes at the supermarket. Wonshik was frozen in his own spot and he felt dazed even before he could put a foot in the hall.

If he wanted to stop Hongbin, he was doing a poor job, but Wonshik, after all, had never been able to deny something to his best friend.

Wonshik and Hongbin had been friends since they were 12 when Hongbin’s family had moved to his city and had enrolled their only son in his school. Hongbin had been popular ever since and Wonshik had always found him special. In the eyes of a number two certain things like the appearance of a person, it was something that passed nearly unnoticed.

Yet he couldn’t deny though that Hongbin had hit him, even if he had not been able to identify a valid reason to justify his interest. Maybe it was realizing, even before he knew Hongbin, that the latter was so much, much than the beautiful cover that everyone saw. He was strong willed, determined and a hard worker. Also, someone with a quirky sense of humor. Yes, he was that kind of friend, the one who laughed out loud when you smashed your face on the floor. He helped you, but not without laughing all the way from the courtyard to the infirmary.

Wonshik didn’t remember well how it started their friendship, they talked by chance during recess and from that moment on they stuck together. It was strange because Hongbin was fussy while Wonshik was a disorganized mess, he was competitive while Wonshik instead preferred to enjoy the journey and his friend was reserved while he was an affectionate person. Heck, they didn’t even listen to the same music. However, they both were dreamers and also two people tremendously determined to realize their respective dreams.

It was this fire, it was this burning desire that made them feel so at ease with each other because they recognized themselves similar despite their abysmal differences.

Through the years this feeling got stronger and, without realizing it, Wonshik was so well tuned to Hongbin that he had learned to read the turns of his thoughts even before he had to say them out loud, as well as his best friend was good at centering him with his logical speech during times of distress. They had braided so magnificently two different ends running along the same path. He remembered how one of their classmates had exchanged their identities ending up calling Wonshik Hongbin.

"You are always together. I might have confused your names," the boy answered. Wonshik had laughed, that laugh of his that sounded like a bark and so similar to Hongbin’s laugh, or maybe it was the other way, whereas Hongbin had opened his big eyes outraged. It was a silly thing he knew it, but he found the fact endearing.

Like a shadow, so that my steps will never miss yours.

Hongbin turned abruptly, tilting his head to the side and pinned him with his gaze. Wonshik wondered how he hadn’t noticed before how deep were his feelings when every time Hongbin looked at him like that, he his breath was taken away.

"Wonshik?" He asked in a whisper to not be heard by the people who were talking in the other room.

Wonshik shook his head.

"I can’t do it," he murmured. This place was definitely in the top three of the places that Wonshik would never, ever wanted to attend: the other two were the prison and a classroom during math class. He had really hoped that his best friend wanted to joke and instead, as every time Hongbin was going out with one of his crazy ideas, he was deadly serious. And Wonshik was going to have to run to keep up with him.

"Come on. We are already here," Hongbin murmured a bit exasperated and a bit worried. Hongbin was a very determined person but he loved Wonshik. He didn’t want that the latter did anything that he didn’t want to. But he had to do this and he needed the support of his best friend to be able to do it.

"I don’t understand why we needed to come here. Do you know what kind of place is this? "

"It's just a support group," Hongbin said this time with a clearly exasperated tone. But Wonshik knew it was all a bluff to mask his fear.

"Yeah, sure. And it’s so harmless that you missed mentioning it to Hakyeon. This is not a normal support group but a freedom fighters meeting ... "Hongbin shut his mouth with his hand.

"Shhh. Do you want them to hear us?" Wonshik frowned.

Hongbin sighed.

"I just want to hear what they have to say. Just this once. I need to hear it," Hongbin pleaded. Ah. Wonshik then just nodded his head and Hongbin took his hand away. He looked at him intently like he wanted to say sorry but Wonshik didn’t say anything because wherever his best friend needed to go he would follow him.

Then his best friend took him gently by the wrist and they walked down the hall together.

Wonshik grew up with his grandparents. He didn’t remember his parents he just knew what he was told by his grandparents and that they had died in a car accident when he was three. He couldn’t say that he had never wished they were there with him, that he hadn’t been missing them all those years. But Wonshik grew up happily and his grandparents had showered him with love and so his loss even if real wasn’t so unbearable because he had no memories that reminded him of what he would never have.

Hongbin instead had memories, he was 15 when he lost his family. The loss of his parents was something he remembered very well, that he would remember forever and that it still hurt. Discovering the truth behind their disappearance had only aggravated things and since then he hadn’t been the same. He was doing better now, Hakyeon and Sanghyuk were good for him, but Wonshik knew every little nook and crevice of his heart and he knew for sure that he was still broken and that Hongbin was going in circles trying to figure out how to put himself back together.

The room was large and spacious and all the seats available were occupied. A chill ran down Wonshik’s spine because he hadn’t expected so many people. While this meant that their presence would pass unnoticed on the other hand it meant that there were more people than he had been willing to admit that were interested in those things, and that thought frightened him.

Anyway, he and Hongbin settled in a corner on the sidelines resting their back on the wall.

There were a podium and a microphone on stage, and people seemed to rotate their turn to speak. A woman started talking.

"My son died the morning of April 16, seven years ago. Many years have passed but it’s a pain that could never be extinguished. Every morning I wake up and for a moment I hope to hear his voice again, to hear his footsteps in the house, he used to always wake up early you know. But then I realize that it could never happen, that won’t ever happen again. My son died on April 16 seven years ago. He jumped from the fifth floor of our building. We knew it was hard. But we missed to understand how much. We didn’t know to what extent the wickedness of the people had crept into him and we believed his suffering bearable no different from the sufferance we passed through. We were wrong. We were dead wrong. My son was only seventeen and he was a number zero."

As soon Wonshik felt that story he had the impulse to run away from there instantaneously. He knew it. He knew there was suffering, he knew that their world was far from perfect that their ancestors had created a world based upon iniquity and had passed off the system for peace.

He knew it, had he not seen the suffering in the face of Hongbin, in the face of all people?

But his friend did not need this. His best friend knew too well the evil. The injustice and pain. He needed to heal and not to wallow in the hatred of those who had nothing to lose.

"They humiliated him, ridiculed him and harassed him for years. As if our condition wasn’t enough of a heavy burden, they had to make him suffer even more. I know they say that our world has improved, we have more rights. But our children continue to die, and after seven years no one has ever paid for that crime. Therefore, I demand justice. Justice over numbers two. "

The woman's words were followed by a standing ovation. Wonshik wanted to bury himself in the wall. He glanced at Hongbin who looked horrified but also strangely preoccupied. It followed a bit of commotion and then another person was invited to step up and all the people quieted down. Wonshik knew it had to be someone important even though the man didn’t look any older than Hakyeon.

“Some of you already know my story but many here are new and that’s why I’m going to tell it again because I know how important is sharing. Sharing does not repair the injustice but makes us feel less lonely. My dear numbers zero remember, we are alone only if divided and our sufferings bind us to one another.

My name is Yoonsook and I’m 28 years old. And four years ago I lost my parents in the Blast of November. No, I didn’t lose them in the explosion, I lost them in a much more subtle and cruel way. The night after the accident the special forces had broken into my parents' house, where they lived with my sister, a minor at the time. Unceremoniously and without a proper accusation they took them away and have entrusted my sister to social services. I haven’t seen my parents since and for all I know they may already be dead. Or at least I hope so because I know that in this world exist a lot of things worse than being buried six feet under. I knew my parents and no matter what the government says, I know they weren’t terrorists and that's why I ask justice over numbers two."

People clapped even louder than the first time.

Wonshik didn’t need to listen any longer, he took Hongbin by the arm and dragged him as quickly as possible away from there and his friend happily let him do it. Once they were on the street and they ran from the oratory and they didn’t stop until they were at a safe distance. And only then, only then he stopped and realized that they had held hands all the way even if Hongbin hated the display of affection. Yet he was the one holding hands, his eyes cast on the ground.

Wonshik wanted to take his face in his hands and make sure he was all right, that his Hongbin was all right, but he did not.

"You okay?" His best friend then looked up and Wonshik had to have a very concerned look because Hongbin tried to smile reassuring.

"I’m ok. You're the one pale," he said this in a feeble attempt at humor.

"I'm cold, that's all." No one commented on the fact that it was May and the sun was splitting the stones.

"You were right, we shouldn’t have gone there. I'm sorry I brought you here, "he said, biting his bottom lip.

"It doesn’t matter. Just promise me that we won’t ever go there again."Wonshik replied.

 Hongbin laughed slightly, giving him a pat on the arm.

"Let's go home." He said, unclasping their hands but not moving a centimeter from Wonshik, their shadows crossing on the asphalt. Together they walked toward Hakyeon’s home, Hongbin’s home.

And as they walked shoulder to shoulder trying to strike up a normal conversation he wondered if his friend was well and if he, Wonshik, would not regret in the future not to have insisted more to not go there and he especially wondered how his friend would react if he ever came to discover the truth. The image of Hongbin who spoke on that stage crossed his mind, and he shuddered.

He had wounds, they both had wounds and Wonshik had once feared to have lost Hongbin forever yet somehow they managed to find themselves again. However, he was afraid, he lived in fear of the moment when Hongbin the number two who had been brought up as a zero would discover that Wonshik the number zero wasn't one to begin with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hakyeon was distracted and it wasn’t something usual of him.

He found himself putting in the bag a pound of onions and neither he nor the children liked them so much. It had been like that throughout the week so much that Jaehwan had non-stop with all his boastful enthusiasm. He had to know that Sanghyuk would have said everything, it was irritating to know that you have a spy in the house even if Hakyeon knew that his kid had told Jaehwan because he didn’t want Hakyeon to have other dangerous close encounters, to use the irritated words of Hongbin. Both had scolded him for being so naive to approach a stranger in such unfavorable circumstances. The older had snorted. The guy in the alley hadn’t represented a danger to anyone except himself and besides he could take care of himself, although it was nice to see how the kids were concerned for him.

He sighed putting the onions back in their basket. He wanted to see again that man and possibly find out what had become of him; if he was okay. If it felt better. Jaehwan called this feeling “a compulsion to collect stray cats”, but the truth was Hakyeon couldn’t help but be sensitive to the pain of others. Because he was like that in the past, he knew how deep into the abyss could make you fall the self-hatred and if that night there had been no Kim Seokjin for him, lost boy of seventeen years old, then it would have been the end. Hakyeon couldn’t consider that alternative, the alternative in which he wouldn’t be there or he wouldn’t be healthy enough to be of help to the others. The Hakyeon of back then it would have been completely useless at helping thirteen years old Sanghyuk or fifteen years old Hongbin.

So the thing was, Hakyeon wanted to see him again. He knew though that it was impossible for that to happen unless he found the man slumped in the alley next to the club again and that was the last thing he wanted. It had seemed to Hakyeon however to catch a glimpse of him among the people passing every day under the window of his office, obviously e it was probably a trick of his mind. Person, wherever you are, I hope you'll be taking care of yourself.

He shook his head as he filled the bag with the right content, tomatoes, Hongbin was crazy for tomatoes and fresh salad.

He filled quickly the trolley with what he needed, he wanted, in fact, to return in time to prepare dinner for his children, God only knew how much hunger Sanghyuk always had every time he came back from the dance lesson and how much Hongbin had from his shift at the library.

He was so deep in thought, mentally choosing among his recipes, that he almost passed his chance.

Then in front of the shelf filled with different brands of coffee, there was the drunk guy in the alley. He looked in better shape than what Hakyeon remembered but he was still deathly pale, he had dark shadows under the eyes and the nails at the end of his long fingers, his index kept beating thoughtfully on his chin, were bitten.

Hakyeon thought two things, first that the guy probably had to live close because the supermarket was just a few steps away from the community, and this meant that the man that night probably had tried to return home. Secondly, Hakyeon had to make sure he was all right. To hell with Jaehwan and his theories on his compulsions.

Before he could regret he covered the short distance that separated them and just like that night he poked his arm with a finger. He tried to retain a sense of embarrassment.

"Hey," Hakyeon called his attention with the most reassuring tone of voice he could summon. The man turned slightly, eyeing him suspiciously. Oh. Hakyeon didn’t think his gaze could be so strong, but then again he had seen him when he was clouded by alcohol.

Hakyeon cleared his throat suddenly nervous.

"Er, do you remember me? That night in the alley? "He wanted to kick himself. Why did he never shut up, or rather, why he could never resist his impulses? Probably the man didn’t even remember that it had been Hakyeon that helped him get up.

"Ah. It’s you." The man said, with that thin voice that didn't fit with his hostile gaze, as if Hakyeon had made him a terrible wrong.

Perfect, he felt an idiot now.

"Yeah, it’s me. You know, a normal person would thank me. If it weren’t for me who knows how long you'd have stayed there. You know that it’s not healthy to drink so much? "

Oh Cha Hakyeon why, why do you never shut up.

The looked at him like he was judging him hard but then he shrugged and started to walk away. Now it was Hakyeon’s turn to feel deeply irritated. Not so fast.

"Wait. Wait! I ... Would you like some coffee? That of the machine at the entrance. So you won’t feel indebted to me further." Hakyeon concluded sarcastically unable to believe his own ears. Why was he doing this? The man didn’t even seem to even spare him two seconds of his time let alone the time to drink a coffee.

"You pay?" He asked, taking Hakyeon by surprise.

"Of course, my treat. I invited you, didn’t I?” He said more and more irritated. This guy who did he think he was.

And then, amazingly, the man nodded. He pointed to the trolley as if to say that he had finished shopping and that he was just going to pay like he was too busy to waste his breath in talking. He tried not to take it to heart, maybe the man was just terribly shy and Hakyeon indeed must have looked like some delusional guy who went around offering coffee to strangers.

"Great! I had finished shopping too. Let's go to the cashbox then." The man shrugged his shoulders and did as Hakyeon suggested.

Once they had reached the point, he feared for a moment that the guy would take advantage of the fact that Hakyeon was paying the cashier to cut and run, but apparently, the man was either a coffee addicted or a person who never said no to free beverage. The two then headed in the direction of coffee dispenser available to customers.

"So what do you want?" He asked gently after putting the coins. 

The man without a word pressed the buttons for the maximum dose of sugar and the latte. Hakyeon smiled. A person so fond of sweet things couldn’t be so bad. The man crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for the coffee to be ready, leaving the shopping bag on the ground.

"Nice to meet you, I’m Hakyeon," he said, extending his hand. Very reluctantly the other man took it.

"Taekwoon." The other one answered and he seemed determined to say no more, but for Hakyeon it was enough. Taekwoon. He could finally stop calling him “the drunk guy in the alley”.

The machine beeped signaling the finished drink and Taekwoon took his coffee at the speed of the light. Yes, definitely coffee addicted, Hakyeon thought.

"Good! And how are you Taekwoon, if I may ask?" Taekwoon glared at him again and Hakyeon knew he had asked the wrong question. "You know, you don’t need to reply to that," he said, and proceeded to tell him a bit of himself. "I am a dance teacher and the head of the community center." The man sipped his coffee slowly, he didn’t seem interested in his words and yet he was still there and Hakyeon considered it a small victory. He continued to speak of the community center and what they did until Taekwoon had drunk the last sip of his coffee and Hakyeon had no excuse to keep him there.

"Well I'm glad that we talked. Feel free to pass by the center, we always need a few extra hands. You can always just come to greet me, I promise to not get offended. "

For a moment, he thought to see the shadow of a smile appear on his face but it was merely a second and his face turned blank.

"I have to go." He said and then added, hesitantly, "Thanks for the coffee."

"Anytime Taekwoon!" Taekwoon glanced at him like he couldn’t believe Hakyeon was real, in his defense even Hakyeon couldn’t believe it, then after a nod, the man picked up his bag and walked away. Hakyeon sighed heavily. What the had possessed him?

He took his shopping bags and decided to go home. He tried to convince himself that his move had not been in vain that at least now he knew that the guy in the alley, Taekwoon, was alive and relatively well, at least physically.

The image of Taekwoon standing in front of the coffee shelf for numbers two flashed before his eyes. Hakyeon wondered what had happened to Taekwoon to turn him in the most miserable number two on earth.

 

 

 

 

"The new group of children is very promising. They are little devils, I swear they are becoming brighter year by year, but they are good children. And they can follow me well when they stay focused." Jaehwan said as he helped Hakyeon to close the classrooms. Hakyeon was distracted, though. "Aha," he replied absentmindedly. It was something so uneventful that Jaehwan frowned and turned to look at Hakyeon. Usually, the two of them were a constant chatter of opinions exchange about their children.

"Hakyeon are you even listening to me?"

Hakyeon didn’t answer but walked instead thoughtfully toward the lobby, playing with keys.

"Hakyeon?"

"Mmm?" He said turning slightly.

A broad smile appeared on Jaehwan’s face.

"I know that look. God if I know. We went to college together and I know all your expressions, especially that one! So tell me, "continued Jaehwan approaching with stealthy steps his friend," who have you met lately? "

Hakyeon blushed and Jaehwan knew he hit the target.

"What makes you think I've met someone?" The other said, trying to slip away. Jaehwan smiled triumphantly. Usually, their roles were reversed, it was Hakyeon that liked to act like a pushy mother pretending to know everything about the lives of his loved ones. It was fun for once to be on the other side of the spectrum, and he was beginning to understand why his friend did it so much.

For his part, the latter didn’t want to give anything out considering that the only person he had met that week was Taekwoon and Hakyeon couldn’t admit finding him interesting because the circumstances of their meeting were ridiculous and it wasn’t possible that it took him so little to. He forced himself to not finish that thought. But the truth was that he could not stop thinking about Taekwoon.

"You know that you can tell me anything," exclaimed Jaehwan. Hakyeon shook his head.

"There’s nothing to tell this time, really."

Jaehwan chuckled but he let it go. He knew that sooner or later Hakyeon would come to him and tell him everything.

They checked one last time that everything was in order before they went back home.

He waited for Hakyeon to shut the heavy door and put the alarm and then together they headed towards the parking lot. But they didn’t even manage to get half way that Hakyeon stopped dead in the track and the expression on his face was so alarmed that Jaehwan froze. The other was looking down the alley and before he could say anything Jaehwan saw him running toward something, or rather someone who seemed to be there.

"Hakyeon!" Shouted Jaehwan in an attempt to stop him and when he saw that it was useless he rushed at his heels.

He saw Hakyeon take the pulse of the person collapsed on the alley and saw his face light up with relief. He couldn’t help but notice the empty bottles beside the person and a lot of alarm bells rang in his head. It had to be the same guy Sanghyuk had mentioned.

"Hakyeon we have to call someone, it’s not safe!" Hakyeon hadn’t seemed to listen, trying his best to wake the man up. When turned the guy on the side to facilitate breathing, Jaehwan finally saw the stranger in the face and let out a surprised yelp.

"What's up? What's the hell Jaehwan? "His friend turned alarmed.

"Taekwoon ..." whispered Jaehwan. Hakyeon seemed to brighten.

"Do you know him?"

"I ... I knew him. Once. In high school." Jaehwan was shocked. He didn’t think he would see his high school best friend after all those years and in those circumstances. What had happened, what the heck had happened in all that time to reduce Jung Taekwoon in a drunk mess in a dirty alley almost a decade later? He felt a shiver of sadness.

Taekwoon, that used to be so headstrong and stubborn, Taekwoon that was super competitive on the football field and who liked to steal chocolate bars from Jaehwan’s bag.

Hakyeon remained almost motionless for a moment undecided.

"We have to call someone we cannot leave him here."

The other shook his head, remembering the words of Taekwoon. There’s no one.

Jaehwan saw him sighing. He seemed to have taken a decision.

"Lend me a hand."

"What?"

"Lend me a hand. Help get him in my car. I’ll take him home. "

"Hakyeon!"

"I know he is not dangerous and the fact that you know him makes me feel better. And like you said, we cannot leave him here and I'm not going to call the authorities and get him into trouble. So come here put your shoulder under his arm and help me take him into the car." Jaehwan stood frozen for a moment then he shook his head in disbelief but did as he was told.

And as he put Taekwoon in Hakyeon’s car and the latter fastened his belt, Jaehwan hoped everything was going to be all right.

A man abandoned to himself and the man who loved collecting stray cats.

Jaehwan prayed that it wasn’t a recipe for disaster.