00.3

It was funny how life enjoyed flipping you around just to bring you back to where you promised to never go.

They were just pure twists of fate, pure coincidences, Taekwoon kept repeating that to himself. It had been a mere fate that the center was exactly along the way home, just like how it was also an accident that he had forgotten to avoid the road that night and impromptuly ended up on that street.

No, it could not have been the guilty feeling that had pushed him to wander through the secluded street, near the center. How could it be, when Taekwoon had too much sense of guilt within himself like icy water filling up his lungs, occasionally threatening to burst out all at once. But then, it still kept him breathing painfully, to possibly have some room left for more culpability. Especially towards a stranger.

Hakyeon.

Taekwoon mind drifted off to that curiously unusual man who picked up broken things, brought them to his home, and tried to put them back together, as if it was the most normal thing to do in the world. It is called kindness, a voice had suggested in his head, but for a long time, he could not comprehend what that word meant. Or maybe he had known about it far too well, because it was a trait that belonged to her and with her, it had vanished completely from his life. Even though he had endured himself to remain behind, to live for what was left of their love and their daughter Sunmi, it was certainly impossible to do it as a whole person.

Honestly, he was convinced he did not have more room to feel anything else anymore, and yet that night he found himself strolling down the same way where the center was located. Driven by what, and for what crazy urgency, he did not know.

Subsequently, he did not remember what kind of invisible force drove him to even acknowledge the young man who was arguing with the other men. But he could clearly recognize the moody brat who had so graciously given him a ‘Good Morning’ that time he had woken up in the stranger’s home. Most unexpectedly, it irked him in particular that he had not just decided to look away when he saw him in trouble.

"It just looks bad but luckily the cut is not deep. I forgot that head injuries tend to bleed more and often give people a great scare," Hakyeon said while putting the antiseptic after having cleaned the wound on his temple. The man had not wanted to hear any excuses, and he had dragged Taekwoon, a surprising gesture that revealed that the latter had greater physical strength than what his deceitful lean figure suggested.

Eventually, Hakyeon had made him sit on a bench at the atrium, after having given instruction to the brat, Hongbin; if Taekwoon remembered well, was to go and pick up the emergency kit. Judging from a hushed sigh that Hongbin let out upon hearing the other’s instruction, he had seemed grateful to be able to get up, even if briefly. Taekwoon had actually remarked that it must have seemed bizarre to have to thank someone, whom you had antagonized so much, not even a couple of days before.
Taekwoon’s brows furrowed.
He had certainly not acted with this intent, he had behaved like that because...well, Taekwoon did not yet know why.

He remained still and observed silently as Hakyeon unwrapped some bandages. Shortly after, he felt finger-tips pressing gently on his temple, as the latter proceeded to try and wrap the thin dressing around his head. The man in front of him looked like he was lost in concentration, that caused him to even vaguely worried; even though he looked less perturbed than how he had looked a quarter of an hour before. Unintentionally, his eyes fell on Hakyeon's sweater, which was mercilessly smeared all over – completely dark and dirty with blood. That particular piece of clothes was definitely ruined, and yet that baffling man had not cared about it at all, when he used it to stop the blood.

He’s really weird, Taekwoon thought.

Hakyeon then glanced up at him abruptly, meeting his eyes and Taekwoon decided to look down on the ground because the other’s stare made him uncomfortable, especially with those intruding eyes of his that seemed to read his mind as if it were an open book.

"Alright, it’s all done. I know the bandage isn’t the best but at least we're sure the wound won’t reopen," he assured with a tone that had his usual liveliness. Taekwoon wondered when he began to associate that particular term with this person. Besides, the other male’s temperament should not even matter to him, yet it was undeniable that his presence radiated a pleasant warmth. Hakyeon looked too sincere, too affectionate, and it was starting to make him a little bit out of place.

That was exactly why Taekwoon tried to get up and walk away, to flee from those stupid thoughts he did not need, but the man put his hands on his shoulders and graciously held it back.

"If I were you I wouldn’t do it unless you want to fall like a potato sack," Hakyeon cautioned with a teasing tone, amused but his eyes still emphasised his firm warning. Taekwoon wanted to protest but he was aware of his fragile state due to his head injury and also, a slight feeling of nausea was starting to creep up into his brain.

"Hongbin, would you mind staying here and check Taekwoon? I'm going to take the car and park in front of the center." Hakyeon directed as he made a move towards the exist.
"Hyung, it's not a problem, I can go..." Hongbin tried to suggest, but Hakyeon's peremptory look was enough to silence whatever protest coming from the young man's mouth: ‘And what? Risk your safety again?’ the older male’s stare seemed to say. Taekwoon then witnessed how Hongbin quickly nodded obediently and took a seat in the chair in front of him without any further protest.

Deciding that there was not much more interesting things to observe anymore, Taekwoon closed his eyes, as his mind focused on the sound of footsteps in the background. As he entered into a little world of his own with just him and his thoughts, his mind started to bombard him with many impending questions.

What was he still doing there? He had to leave, go home, and forget this stupid accident.

"Thank you, you know." They were the most reluctant words of gratitude that Taekwoon had ever heard, yet Hongbin, the brat, had uttered them.

Taekwoon wanted to stay with his eyes closed, and maybe pretend that he had already fallen asleep, but the embarrassed tone of the other triggered something inside him that almost made him smile. A few seconds later, he gradually opened his eyes, only to find the image of the boy looking over him at the other side.

"You don’t have to thank me," Taekwoon muttered with a sigh. There was nothing to thank really, it merely was just a con reflection of what had once been Jung Taekwoon.

"You helped me," Hongbin replied, as if the other’s apparent lack of acceptance to his thankful words was the most brutal of the insults.

"I didn’t help you," the other answered weakly, closing his eyes again. God, his head was pulsing so badly that it was beginning to feel like it might just crack open at that very instant.

"What was it then?" asked Hongbin, using a distrustful tone. The other male had aided him and he was just being appreciative about it; he did not understand how such a straightforward thing seemed so complicated.

"A reflex."

A dead silence followed his words, but after a while, a loud roar of laughter broke off the quiet ambience of the night. Slightly confounded by the latter’s unanticipated laugh, Taekwoon opened his eyes lazily, to check what the other was so amused about, only to be confronted by the little brat’s remark.

"Sanghyuk says I'm constipated, but you've got it a lot worse."

If Taekwoon were still the Taekwoon of the past, he would not hesitate to glare at the brat with a look that would be enough to force the boy to stumble onto the floor and hide behind the first corner he could find. Instead, he realized that, in the state that he was, it was too much for him to even pretend to be taken seriously.
He sighed his frustration out, wearily.

"Are you enjoying yourself without me?"

Luckily, he was saved from the pain of having to invent an excuse he did not want to give, all thanked to Hakyeon's return. Despite the fact that there was still a veil of concern in his gaze, he gave off a pleasant reassuring air. Taekwoon did not know if he felt more annoyed that the latter was interested in him enough to be aware of his moods or the fact that he was always so genuinely helpful.

Anger, a sense of protection, irritation, discomfort: Those were only some of the emotions that Taekwoon was no longer accustomed to allowing himself to feel again. That was why he had even decided to forego his chance to fight for Sunmi’s custod‍y, and had entrusted her to the care of her in-laws: He did not trust himself enough with it.

How could he be a father if he was now a scavenger of a human being?

As he glanced over at Hakyeon, he realised that he should have got up and walked away like the first time he woke up in a stranger's living room. But something kept him there, something he could not name yet.

"The car is parked out here. We can go guys,” Hakyeon announced as he approached them. Hongbin then immediately rose to his feet, ready to go home, but Taekwoon stayed where he was.

"Did you really think I was going to let you go home alone in that conditions?" Hakyeon questioned, tilting his head slightly to the side as if he was quite disappointed in the injured male. Taekwoon thought for a moment for an excuse. However, he was well aware that he would probably lose any verbal discussion with that man.

Hongbin flashed him a slight funny smile, which had a lot of suggestive meanings behind that Taekwoon did not want to know or even think about. Sighing internally, however, he decided to follow them.
When he saw Hakyeon's car though a flashback of the said man, carrying him and making him sit on the passenger seat, crossed his mind. He felt the sudden warmth of a flush of heat passing over his face as he climbed into the car unable to look at the others, especially Hakyeon, in the eyes.

"Taekwoon you will have to tell me where you live though. I would like to leave you home first so you can rest, even though I don’t really know how good of an idea is for you to rest now. Who knows maybe you might have a concussion, and it is not advisable for you to sleep in that case,” Hakyeon muttered to himself as he set the car into motion.

Taekwoon merely whispered the name of the street followed by a, "I do not sleep" before returning his attention out of the window.

"Oh well good. Wait! Not really. Not sleeping is definitely not a good thing, although I guess that in this particular case maybe it'll be useful. When I can’t sleep I always drink some infusion. Of course you can also buy it at the supermarket but there is the mother of this kid in the center that prepares the infusions at home and I have to say that they are very good and they work. If you pass by the center I can give you some," Hakyeon offered, as he continued to speak, totally unfazed by the silence.

"Though maybe it’s better if you pass by in a couple of days. I think tomorrow, I will be too busy settling this chaos. I have to find a glazier,” he concluded, shaking his head.

Those words cause Taekwoon to sink further into his seat. The window was actually his fault. Indeed, in the urge to defend that little brat, he had ended up provoking the thugs. Eventually it resulted in one of the incensed men throwing a can at him, which had ended up breaking the glass window.

Taekwoon opened his mouth as if to say something but Hongbin interrupted him, "Hakyeon, tomorrow we will all help you, so please catch your breath and relax."

"Maybe you are right, Hongbin, I'm just a little agitated right now, but the idea of knowing that you were in danger ... Thank God you were there Taekwoon," Hakyeon said and Taekwoon did not even have to turn to know he was smiling at him. He decided to look ostentatiously at the other side, shrugging. He really did not need to witness the other’s smile that was directed at him.

The trip continued in silence but fortunately did not last long, Taekwoon lived very close to the center, enough to be able to make his way from his office to his home quietly on foot.

The car stopped in front of the uncultivated driveway. As always, he felt a punch in his stomach at the sight of his home: All bathed in shadows, with no light lit to welcome his return. The pathetic look of an empty house made him feel dejected, every single time.

"Here we are," Taekwoon opened the door quickly, his fragile self-control that threatened to slip from his fingers, at all times threatening to spill there in that moment. He had to be alone, he could not withstand the feeling of those odd sensations. That was why he got drunk every night. He had always ended up intoxicated but he still could not sleep because when he closed his eyes, in the solitude of his room, he returned to his roused emotions automatically and it was too much for him. At the same time, it would never be enough either. Because the torturous feelings and the haunting memories, coming back to him and knowing they were the only thing he had left, was unbearable to accept.

"Taekwoon," the other man had called him when he reached the threshold of his own house. Taekwoon did not turn around, his shoulders were still the only thing Hakyeon could see but he did stop for a moment.

"The center is always open for you," the other stated, before lifting the window of the car and driving away. Left alone again in the quiet night, Taekwoon slipped the key into the locker and entered the darkness of the house.




Hongbin woke up abruptly, and his eyes shuttered wide opened as he tried to adjust to the darkness of the room.

Even though his body was still stiff from sleep, he rose up slightly, trying to figure out what exactly had disturbed his so well-deserved rest. Then, a grunt on the other side of the room, followed by the unmistakable snoring of Sanghyuk gave him the answer. Hongbin then reminded himself that he should not have been surprised because Sanghyuk had been giving cacophonic concerts worthy of the finest among deaf musicians for over a year now. Hongbin wanted to take the cushion and throw it on his head, but even with his vision still blurred by the remnants of sleep, it was so obvious that Sanghyuk was resting well and no matter how much of a brat he might be, he did not have the heart to wake the other up.

He gave a slight puff, as his head fell back on the pillow.
Sanghyuk was like a little brother to him. Ever since they had started living together:Two moody teenagers who suddenly had to share the room, it had been clear to Hongbin that he would be anything but doting towards the younger.

It was impossible not to do so, because Sanghyuk was so open, funny, and certainly, so not fragile, even though his appearance back then was that of a boy with long legs and full cheeks. In fact, Sanghyuk had the beautiful quality to care for everyone, while not taking things to heart at the same time.

Hongbin had never had to walk on his tiptoes around him, since he could always be himself, and after having lived in a house where this concept was like an alien, Sanghyuk had been a gift sent from heaven.

It was not like with Wonshik of course, because with his best friend, he could be himself because Wonshik was well, Wonshik; He would have liked Hongbin either way. On the other hand, with Sanghyuk he could be himself simply because the younger was strong enough not to be intimidated by any of his mood swings and he even had his shoulders wide enough to be able to kick him off and come out in one piece whenever Hongbin would feel exaggerated.

It was not bad too, that Sanghyuk had a sense of improper humor and a bit imprudent ways that matched so well with Hongbin's sarcastic tongue. He could not help but beam as he thought of that child and the people in his life, in general.

"We are your Hongbin family. And as long as I and Sanghyuk will be here, you'll always have a place to come back."

Hongbin rolled on the bed, suddenly embarrassed, as he remembered the conversation he had just the night before.

On the way back home from his improvised and reluctant savior house, Hakyeon had remained quiet and Hongbin for a moment had been afraid to be in trouble. Not many days before, they had had a terrible quarrel and Hongbin had blurted out very mean things, even denying what Hakyeon had done for him. He had regretted those words the very moment they left his mouths, especially after seeing the effect they had on Hakyeon.

Hakyeon had never ignored their feelings, he had always made sure, often exaggerating, that they felt comfortable, trying to fulfill all their needs and wishes. To the point that, as the years passed and the pile of things Hakyeon had done for them grew exponentially, Hongbin’s anxiety only kept increasing at the same pace, afraid to never being able to repay him for everything he had done for them.

Yet after Hakyeon had parked the car in the driveway, and entered the house, with a worried Sanghyuk waiting for them in the living room, Hakyeon had not reproached him as Hongbin was dreadfully fearful o. However, he did not allow him to take more than five steps before crushing him into a hug, as if the venomous words that Hongbin had addressed to him had never existed.

Hongbin had felt lost and confused because he did not believe he deserved such benevolence, even so he was also intimately grateful.

"You cannot put your feelings in an equation and believe that to every action corresponds a reaction, Hongbin. I understand your way of thinking, but Hakyeon hyung doesn’t act like that because he expects something from us. Well, except for washing the dishes and putting the kitchen in order, which given your compulsive mania for order and cleaning, that will never be a problem," Sanghyuk had told him distractedly as he the tip of a pen, making Hongbin's nose wrinkle in disgust.

Hongbin understood this but, sometimes, certain concepts were hard to comprehend and absorb when all his life he had grown up with a certain mental pattern. He knew that Hakyeon was different, that this house was different from the last one, but sometimes the persistent fear, the one who brought him to Hakyeon's sixteen-year-old home door, gushed back to him and made him think irrationally.

Hongbin admitted that everything had become more difficult after he turned eighteen.

Because Lee Hongbin had a soulmate somewhere, that was waiting for him.

Perhaps in another life, in another universe, this fact would kept him elated instead of terrorizing him to death. When he was eighteen, Hongbin had almost been taken by a panic attack at the concept of soulmates, succeeding in the intent of worrying both Hakyeon and Sanghyuk.

He had not been ready to know who his soul mate was, and he feared he would never be.

In a matter of facts, he was satisfied with the current situation, so why change? He had a home, a family, dear, beloved friends. So why change everything for something he had always felt he did not need and that he had been taught not to expect?

At the time Hakyeon had tried to make him change his mind, to make him realize that knowing who his soulmate was, did not imply anything, and that he would not be forced to do anything that he did not want to do. But he had not been able to convince him.

"You are happy as number zero. Why can’t I be too?" Hakyeon smiled at him with an enigmatic smile then, because Hongbin knew that the other’s life had not been exactly a walk in the park from what Jaehwan told them. But the older could not argue, because he certainly could not deny that he was contented in the present time. It had been a low blow, but it was the only way to make the other drop the topic.

Hongbin ce again. He was not good with feelings and was even more worse with dealing with the changes. He did not care what his documents stated, or what responsibility had had his family of origin. Hongbin was intimately convinced that nothing in him qualified him as a candidate to have a soulmate. Especially when he considered the numbers two, the very fact that they existed in the system. They were definitely the cause of all the suffering; Not only his but also of all the suffering of the people he loved, Sanghyuk, Hakyeon, Wonshik, and Jaehwan.

It was that rotten system that caused everyone to be afraid to be who and what they wanted to be, if he himself was afraid. If his parents had done what they had done.

Unable to lay down anytime longer, he scribbled up from his previous position. Lately, he had been feeling so confused and irritable. He was desperate to have answers, to see if there was a way to feel better because he did not want to burst again and say mean things to the people he loved and possibly hurt them. He had to find answers, a way to channel his anger to make a sense out of it.

When he saw that man, Taekwoon, Hongbin had been caught in a sense of irritation that was hardly justified-
He got up from the bed with an uncertain pace. That was why he had begged Wonshik to accompany him to a second meeting. He needed answers.

Hongbin took some clean clothes he had left in the chair and with those, he entered the bathroom to start his morning routine.

It was better today, talking to Hakyeon had soothed some of his wounds, but they did not erase what he carried inside and Hongbin feared that sooner or later it would burst, and he would not be able to do anything about it.

Wonshik had almost choked with his own the saliva when he asked for that favor. Hongbin smiled at his image in the reflection, recalling the funny face that Wonshik had done. He shook his head before soaping his hands and then finally washing his face.

He was so thankful that Wonshik was still there, had been by his side in all those long and difficult years. Perhaps with Hakyeon and Sanghyk, Hongbin had found his new family, but his home? Well, he had long found it in the person of his funny, somewhat naive and infinitely loyal best friend.



Sanghyuk woke up.

He woke up to the smell of coffee made by Hongbin and Hakyeon's endless chatter, and he knew at once that everything was back to normal.

However, Sanghyuk also knew that well, not everything was solved. Hongbin still had a lot to deal with and he had only begun to face his issues, and this Taekwoon had barged in again in their lives and with an even more spectacular entrance than the first time. Sanghyuk knew that, when it came to Hakyeon, there was no two without three. So it was very likely that this Taekwoon would make his appearance again.

Usually, Sanghyuk did not poke his nose into Hakyeon's personal business; Who he wanted to meet was absolutely upon to the older. The situation whereby it had interfered in their family life, never happened before and Hakyeon had helped a lot of people before and after them. Somehow though, Sanghyuk did not miss the strange interest that the older seemed to have for this person.

The younger had been preparing himself for this happening and as a zero, he would have been more than happy to encourage Hakyeon's initiative on this aspect of life. But this person, Taekwoon frightened him.

His reaction to finding him at home had not been as unforgettable as Hongbin's, but he could understand a few things in his reasoning or perhaps, in his case, it was just his selfishness that spoke. Because this new character seemed to be tied to Jaehwan and his past, and that was what, more than anything else, intrigued and worried Sanghyuk. Because perhaps this person had the answers, maybe he would finally understand the reason behind that impenetrable wall with which his tutor had been protecting himself since forever. And yet the fact that he could only succeed in that, only thanks to the arrival of a third person, someone who seemed to be important to Jaehwan, left a bitter taste in his mouth.

It was all obviously just his jealousy, childishness and silly thoughts yet, it was still tangible. Sanghyuk had fought so hard to grow as fast as possible that he couldn’t be stopped from these sudden insecurities. He had wished to be there for Jaehwan. Since he was thirteen, the latter had started to be his tutor and with the years this desire to be there for the other, grew bigger and stronger, and it had not taken a genius to understand that something so totalizing could be nothing else but love.

He had waited, waited for the time to pass and now that he was about to turn eighteen-years-old he was ready to step up. Maybe it would not change anything, but at least Jaehwan could no longer use his age as an excuse ignore his feelings.

"Do I really have to go to school? I'd rather come to help at the centre!” Sanghyuk complained. He wanted to check by himself that everything was in order. Perhaps if he had gone with Hongbin the day before there would have been no need for Taekwoon.

"Sanghyuk no buts, today you go to school. Hongbin also is going to his classes. If you want to help so much, you can always come after school, "Hakyeon reprimanded him, staring into his eyes, because he knew how Sanghyuk was stubborn and the older wanted to make sure that the young man understood. Sanghyuk nodded reluctantly at which Hakyeon smiled, pleased with the younger’s attitude.

Just a few months, he promised to himself, as he swallowed a big slice of toast and drank the coffee prepared by Hongbin, and then he would age and another few months later he would finish school. In no time, he would be an adult, who would be free to pursue his choices.

"Sanghyuk, I want to introduce someone to you."

Sanghyuk looked at the older, a little lost. It was all new to him and he honestly did not trust anybody who was not Hakyeon. He had known Hakyeon from before at least, and he had always liked him and he had done some dance lessons with him before…

Sanghyuk squeezed his eyes shut. He did not have to think about it. That was a bad day that he had to leave behind. Anyways, Hakyeon was smiling, and Sanghyuk trusted him, and if he wanted to introduce someone to him, it was probably someone good.

"He'll help you with the homework after school. You missed many lessons and you've been a bit behind. I would gladly do it myself but he is far better than me, "Hakyeon explained, though he seemed somewhat regretful. Sanghyuk knew that the older had agreed to work full time in the center and knew that he had done it to able to sustain his new young tenant. That was actually the reason why the older could not tutor him and Sanghyuk guessed Hakyeon felt guilty.

Sanghyuk grinned at the latter, nodding as he tried to enliven him. He would have done anything to alleviate the work of the older because he had given him the warmth of a home when he thought he was all alone.

At that moment someone knocked on the door.

Sanghyuk turned towards it, nervously clutching his fists on the desk where he and Hakyeon were seated at.

"Jaehwan, come in," Hakyeon called. The person who came in was of the same age of Hakyeon, he was wearing a very funny pair of round glasses and had a smile that made him more lively, if it was even possible.

"Hi Sanghyuk, I'm Lee Jaehwan! Your new tutor! "The young man introduced himself with a loud, enthusiastic voice, as he sat down on the chair next to Sanghyuk's desk.

"I'm sure we'll work well together," Jaehwan added kindly, making Sanghyuk smile.



As soon as the bell rang, Sanghyuk did not even stay to greet his classmates. Instead, he dumped the books into his backpack and literally bolted out of his classroom and then out of the building towards the nearest bus stop. He did not have time to groom himself that afternoon; He had to get to the center as soon as possible. He wanted to help, to be useful, to demonstrate that he was capable..

Among them, Jaehwan had always been the most sensitive to episodes of vandalism. Sanghyuk would have liked to say that after the "blast", they were lucky if they went through worse things, but Jaehwan seemed saddened by the idea that numbers two and zero could not agree with one another in some way. Sanghyuk was not Hongbin, who would certainly jump on a chair just by hearing such words.

In his own way, he understood what Jaehwan meant. But it was also true that he had lost his parents in that explosion and therefore the younger was skeptic about peaceful coexistence.

When the bus finally arrived at the bus stop, Sanghyuk rushed in, before sitting down tiredly on one of the seats. Just as when he was a thirteen year old and also now that he was seventeen, Sanghyuk still felt this urgency, this sense of protection towards the older, this instinct to protect Jaehwan from everything and everyone even though he was ten years older and had been an adult for a while, so in theory he was perfectly capable of defending himself in life.

“I wish I could be your shoulder, the wall that protects you from anything that frightens you, I would like to embrace you and tell you that we are no longer alone and I wish that what I feel could be enough for the both of us if only you could give me a chance.” Sangyuk sighed internally. Hongbin would have made fun of him even if he knew half of his thoughts, and he did so every time he caught him watching Jaehwan longer than usual.

Sanghyuk in those moments would have wanted to argue and point out that if he knew everything how come he had not realized that Wonshik had a huge crush on him, probably for years. But he could not do this to Wonshik, so he bit his tongue every time.

When he finally reached the center, after running like a madman until he reached the sliding doors of the centre, he found Hakyeon and Hongbin as they were busy putting a plastic layer over the hole in the atrium window. It was a poor solution and Hakyeon had that wrinkle on his forehead that spoke about how much he wanted to be able to repair it himself. Sanghyuk smiled. Hakyeon always took everything to heart. He was pleased however to find out that the damage was not that big, for a moment when the older had spoken of vandalism, Sanghyuk feared they had combined a disaster.

"How can I help you?" The younger asked leaving his backpack into one of the chairs in the lobby.

"Oh Sanghyuk!" Hakyeon turned slightly to greet him.

Thank God,” Hongbin exclaimed.

"Come here and keep this up while I check what Wonshik is doing. He had to come back with a tape five minutes ago, but I bet that he got lost somewhere,” Hongbin said, leaving Sanghyuk with no choice but to take his place.
"Ah kids these days have no regard for the elders," Hakyeon complained.

"Are you finally admitting your venerable old age hyung?" Sanghyuk .

"You're lucky I got my hands busy," Hakyeon answered, throwing daggers at him, at which the other laughed. He really enjoyed riling the older man up, just to get a reaction out of him.

"Is there anyone?" The voice was barely more than a hesitant whisper, but it had not been his imagination because at soon as the voice registered in his ears, Hakyeon's grip on the layer slipped and the younger got the plastic tossed in his hands.

"Taekwoon, you came!"

Right there, in the middle of the atrium, disoriented and out of place like a child on his first day of school, was the man who Sanghyuk saw that morning seated on the couch of their house.

The man appeared more lucid but no less tired or pale than he previously was and he had a bad scar on the temples, courtesy of the thugs from the day before.

Sanghyuk did not know how to react, he was about to excuse himself and disappear too in search of the imaginary tape, when a voice barging in the atrium glued him where he was. Oh no.

"Hakyeon, these poor children here have been witlessly looking for the tape in the storage when I told you I had taken it with me because I needed it for my class! Your memory finally failing you like the rest, old man?" Jaehwan’s voice rang across the room, as he stepped into the lobby, followed by Hongbin and Wonshik. He had his usual controversial frown as he waved the tape with his hand as if it were the object of a crime.

None of the three had noticed that they had a visitor yet. Sanghyuk was holding his breath. Why did everyone always have such a good timing? Why he did not go looking for the tape instead of Hongbin, and above all, why did that man, Taekwoon had decided to come right at that moment. Just Why?

"Jae ... Jaehwan?" Taekwoon murmured, shock painted on his face.

Jaehwan turned so fast that Sanghyuk feared he had broken his neck.

The room turned eerily quiet as everyone sat still, before the tape slipped out of Jaehwan’s hand and hit the floor loudly. Sanghyuk saw the floor leave his face, and that urgency was so great that he almost felt physical pain.



"I'm so proud of you Sanghyuk!" Jaehwan exclaimed when he brought his school resume with all outstanding marks. Hakyeon had told him the same thing, but hearing it from Jaehwan, his despotic tutor, it felt ten times better.

"Thank you hyung!" Sanghyuk replied scratching his head in embarrassment. Then, unable to endure the moment, he turned his head away. He was ecstatic to receive compliments. He had worked so hard to recover the lost time and luckily he had managed to catch up with the rest of the with the class in the end. However it didn’t matter how proud he was of his own hard work, there was still a void in his heart that he could not fill. It was called absence and it was called love and it was the place that his family had occupied once.

In a fairer world, his mother and his father would also be there to congratulate him.

He bit his lip harshly.

He had promised not to weep anymore, not after that afternoon when the police came to his school and told him that his parents were gone, and that everything he had known and loved had ceased to exist. No, he did not want to put himself through the misery again.

Just then, he heard the noise of a chair being dragged and before he could even turn around, he realized two pairs of arms had surrounded him and his chin sunk in Jaehwan's snug shoulder.

"You did so well Sanghyuk. Really well. Your parents would have been so proud of you."

It was in that moment that Sanghyuk finally let it go. He allowed the walls that kept everything from crashing down since that afternoon and finally released the hot tears that instantly spilled from his eyes, and down his cheeks.

Sanghyuk was born as a number zero. There was no one special for him in that world, no one who was waiting for him out there.

He had accepted it, it was the ugly truth but it was inevitable. After all, he had been lucky, he had so many other things that were gratifying in his life. He had a beautiful home, precious friends and parents who loved him. His mother and his father were a pair of numbers zero, and although with great difficulties and with highs and lows, they were able to gain their little haven of happiness. Sanghyuk, therefore, had hope in the future, he used to tell himself that if it had happened to his parents, it could also happen to him.

Then, the explosion had taken everything away from him. In the blink of an eye, everything that he had ever treasured had dissolved into the thin air.

Sanghyuk understood for the first time, in its most aberrant meaning, what it meant to be left behind.

Alone. He was alone.

And even though Hakyeon loved him very dearly and he loved Hakyeon, it had not been enough to fill that gap in his chest.

It was in that moment that Sanghyuk understood that this person, his despotic and irritating tutor, who was imperfect yet sensitive enough to immediately understand his sadness without him needing to speak, was right in his face. He realized then that this person was the only one who had been able to fill that void, with just a simple gestures. That void that was called absence. That void that was called love.

 

 

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