“Why is it that everytime I see you I only want to cry?”

“Why is it that you always try to see me even when you know my face will make you sad?”

“I am in love with you Min Yoongi.”

“Well I am not in love with you Myeong-Bin.”

“Why would you even waste your breath telling me things that I already know?”

“I kind of enjoy watching your heart break into fragile little pieces.” He smiles.

“I wish I could enjoy the pain it causes.” I stare into his piercing brown eyes.

“It wouldn’t be as beautiful if you did.”

“You say that like I am not aware Yoongi.”

“Do you know why you love me?”
 

“There are many reasons. At least 50.” I reply sadly, “But it sounds as though you asked me in a rhetorical way.”

“I did. I already have a reason.”

“Well let’s hear it. I have no doubt that it is a quote?” I say with a hint of a question sneaking its way onto the end of my sentence.

“You like someone who can’t love you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way that once requited love cannot. John Green.”

“I suppose that is part of it.” He looks away from me. “Beautiful quote.” I say wanting to keep the conversation going for a little while longer.

“You say that as though I always tell you quotes that are ugly.”

“This guy once told me that no quote is ugly, only beautiful in a different way, and equally meaningful to someone else.”

He smirks slightly, “This guy sounds brilliant.”

“He is.” I state gaining the honor of staring into his eyes once more as he looks down at me. “He becomes more brilliant every time I see him.”

“You should really stop loving me Myeong-Bin.”

“You say it like I haven’t already tried to.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“You are not going to love me so much when I break every single tiny piece of your beating

heart.”

“Wow, you made it sound exactly like it would be.”

“Which is what? What would it be?”

“Murder.”

“Well then they better put me away now.”

“Can’t you just give me a chance?”

“No.”

“Let me prove I love you Yoongi.”

“No.”

“Please understand.” I say looking away from him as tears begin pushing at the back of my eyes.

“You said you had 50 reasons?”

“Yes.”

“Then give me a reason.”

“I could give you all the reasons,”

“And I still wouldn’t love you.” He finished for me.

“Exactly.”

He rolls his eyes, “You make me sad.”

“Same to you.”

“But I make you sad on purpose.”

“I know that.”

“As long as you are aware.”

“You know there are different ways to die,” He begins, I nod, “There’s jumping off a roof and then there is slowly poisoning yourself with the flesh of another every single day. Theodore Finch. All The Bright Places.” I only nod. I know what he going to say next. I am ready for his next quote. I am prepared for those meaningful words to slip off his tongue and through his perfectly formed lips.

“When you con-” is all he has time to say before I cut him off.

“-Sider things like the stars, our affairs don’t seem to matter very much do they?”

He only looked at me before letting just one corner of his mouth turn up. Without another word he grabbed his bag which was resting against his leg on the ground, slung it quickly over his shoulder, and exhaled deeply. Before I knew it the puff of air that was his hot breath fighting against the cold and his lean and tall body that was enough to make any girl melt, was half way across the street. His hands in his pockets and his head low. I watched him walk away. I left my gaze on his body as it moved into the distance and disappeared.

Once he is gone I pull my phone out of my back pocket. With a groan, I open my best friends text message. I swear she is a stalker. It's like she always knows when I eff somthing up in my life. 

Yeong-Yeong, I know what you just did and you can’t keep doing it.

I know that, but I can’t help it.

Yes you can. You just choose not to change.

This is how all of my conversations with Angie go. As soon as I get home from school I text her. Nothing ever changes. It’s our ritual. It used to be fun. It really that we can’t ever have normal conversations anymore. She is supposed to be my best friend and understand everything I am going through, but she doesn’t. She ends up lecturing me like she’s my mother. But my mother barely talks to me, so she is more like the mother that I should have. She is the first to tell me to cheer up and the first to break my heart with the reality of my dreams. She is out of town right now with her more than blessed family. If I believed in God I would almost think that he liked Angie more than any other human on the planet, besides Yoongi. Angie has everything that she could ever ask for and need. She has a home large enough to house all of Africa, enough food to feed a small European continent, and clothes and looks that could put Gigi Hadid to shame. I am not one to point out all of the bad that is in my life because that is just pitiful, but I will be the first to tell you that she is a queen compared to me.

You know I’m not in town right now. You know I can’t be there to make your decision for you like I normally do!

If a text like this was coming from anyone else I would be offended, but coming from Angie it is very true. She always saves me from myself. She tells me what I can and can’t say. She is the angel on my shoulder and my subconscious is the devil.

I know this. I just can’t help it. He makes me forget how small I am.

By making you smaller?

Yes…. And no?

Whatever. I know you can’t see me rn, but I assure you I am rolling my eyes.

I assumed you would be.

As long as you know. I gotta go. We are going out to eat. I’ll text you when we leave.

Okay. Bye.

Smile!

Did you forget who I am?

No. The only thing I forget is how your smile actually looks.

Bye, A.