If only Jihoon had the dream a week ago, he would have not hurt Soonyoung's heart that bad. If only Jihoon had the dream a week ago, he would have done everything Soonyoung wanted to do with him without any objection. If only Jihoon had the dream a week ago, he would have stayed beside Soonyoung for days long, until the time had come in which he would bid his friend goodbye for evermore. 

     Yet, things would not happen as he wished.

     The second Jihoon received a call from Soonyoung who enthusiastically asked him out to the arcade, tears began to well up in his eyes. Jihoon took a deep breath, wiped his eyes dry, and mustered up the solace to reply, "Sure. I'm free today. Let's go there together."

     "Wow, look! Our Jihoon finally wants to waste his time with me at the arcade! What a spectacular view!" Jihoon could hear Soonyoung's laughter from the opposite end of the line. Strangely enough, it sounded nice to his ear.

     "Whatever. You're going to pick me up at my house. You hear me?"

     "Okay! No problem. I'll be there at ten. Wait for me!" And with that the call ended.

     Jihoon tightened his grip on the phone. He bit his lower lip, brows furrowed as he tried to fight back tears. Last night dream began to replay in his head and little did Jihoon know, his heart was going to break into thousands of pieces. No band aid could ever fix it. No doctors could ever mend it.

     Standing still by the bedside table was Jihoon, agitated and dumbfounded, for he knew that his friend, Soonyoung, would die tonight in his sleep.

     Jihoon would like to call it a curse rather than a blessing. It should be, though. Acknowledging the death of someone was not something to be considered as a blessing. It was not something for Jihoon to be proud of. Instead, it was just a hideous curse which had doomed Jihoon from the day he celebrated his tenth birthday. 

     Every time his mother kissed his forehead goodnight and wished him, "Sweet dream, dear," Jihoon would fidget. His eyes began to dilate in worry. He did not want to sleep. He did not want to be left alone in the dark. Because he was scared. Scared of the bad dream that would haunt him the moment Jihoon closed his eyes. Scared of the ugly scenery he would witness in his dream later. Scared to see the faces that would appear each time the night approaches. For Jihoon knew that death was after them, those who appeared in his bad dreams.

     No one knew about this curse but Jihoon himself. Though he once confided in his mother about the bad dreams he had and how it befell exactly on certain people, all the woman would say in response was, "Nightmare is just a dream. Dream is not real. Unreal things will not hurt anyone, including you. It's nothing, dear. Perhaps, you had a very long and tiring day today that you happen to have bad dream."

     Jihoon believed in her words albeit he still had the same nightmare of people dying every night. Until that one particular time when he dreamed of Aunt Kim falling from the stairs and died and the same incident befell upon the poor lady thr next morning, little did Jihoon know his mother was wrong. 

     The dream was not solely a dream.

     The dream was a sign. A foreshadow. From the Death. To ones who live. 

     Whatever the dreams were, Jihoon did not consider himself as a messenger nor a chosen one. He never did and he never thought that way. He could not do anything if he ever knew that someone was dying. He was just a mortal human being. He had no power to alter and manipulate death. That kind of ability only existed in fiction, a fantasy. And Jihoon was living in the real world, a reality.

     Thus, by the time Soonyoung appeared in his dream last night, all Jihoon could do today was to accept Soonyoung's last offer and fulfill every little wish he had before the night approach, before he closed his eyes, before he slept for eternity.

The Sun always shone scorchingly. Its golden ray always blinded his eyes. But unlike yesterday, Jihoon could not feel its cozy warmth. 

     An audible sigh escaped from his lips. Jihoon promised himself today not to frown at Soonyoung. He promised himself today not to raise his voice when he spoke to the boy. He promised himself today not to scold Soonyoung for every stupid little mistake he would do in the near future. And he promised himself today not to grieve and break down in front of Soonyoung. He would not do that and he should not do that.

     Today was supposed to be Soonyoung's happiest day ever. Today was supposed to be a day full of Soonyoung's laughter. Today was supposed to be a day where Soonyoung would wear his wide, bright smile all day long. Therefore, Jihoon should hide every single poignant emotion from showing in his eyes, tone of voice, and even gestures. 

     Putting on a forceful smile, Jihoon took a deep breath, chinned up, and waited for Soonyoung to come and pick him up at his house. 

     It was not long, though, because ten minutes later, Jihoon caught the sight of Soonyoung's white car. He could already see the boy's cheerful expression from afar and the positive vibe he brought along washed over Jihoon magically. In an instant, the warmth of the Sun coated Jihoon's body gently and cozily. Somehow, it felt like home, for a time.

     "Good morning!" Soonyoung greeted in his usual animated manner. The glint of joy in his eyes attracted Jihoon and he urged a smile on his face, struggling to put all of the ugly thoughts at the back of his mind.

     "Good morning," Jihoon replied in his unusual lively manner and hopped into the car.

     To which had Soonyoung's mouth agape in surprise. 

     "Is this the lion Jihoon I know all these years? You are smiling and replying me!"

     "So what? I'm a human too. I have the right to smile and greet anyone a good morning."

     Soonyoung giggled. "Of course it's everyone freedom to smile and bid people a very good morning. Just that it's so unlike you to be lively and cheerful like this today. Normally, you have this fierce, angry, lion look on your face and it was gruesome."

     "Well, I'm bored with that kind of image. So I guess it would be fun if I change my personality once in a while and be a cheerful man today."

     Soonyoung pouted his lips and narrowed his eyes at Jihoon. "You are unreadable sometime," he blurted out.

     Upon hearing him, Jihoon merely beamed and averted his eyes to the window, throwing his gaze outside the glass. "You better move now, Soonyoung."

     "Oh! Yes, boss!" And with that, the wheels began to roll, the car moved forward and hit the road. 

     For the very first time, Jihoon actually paid attention to every word that fell out of Soonyoung's mouth. For the very first time, Jihoon actually paid attention to how Soonyoung's fair complexion lit up as he told him stories. For the very first time, Jihoon actually paid attention to how nice Soonyoung's voice was it almost became his favourite sound of all.

     If only Jihoon was willing to open his tightly closed heart and perceive Soonyoung the same way he perceived him today before, things would have been so different now.

     Maybe just maybe, he would not get irked easily every time Soonyoung threw his arm over his shoulders out of the blue. He would not get annoyed easily every time Soonyoung blurted out his lame, insipid jokes. He would not get mad easily every time Soonyoung was being his klutzy and clumsy self. 

     As Jihoon got carried away by his train of thoughts, the sorrow crept in his heart. Immediately, Jihoon shook his head and let out a breath.

     "Jihoon, you okay?" asked Soonyoung who noticed his friend's strange act.

     "Oh, yes, sure. I'm okay," Jihoon answered, albeit stuttering a bit, before he plastered a smile across his face. 

     "Don't worry. It's all my treat. Your money will stay in your wallet and your wallet will stay in your pocket safely today. Okay?"

     Jihoon gave him a smile, speechless. Why You have to take him away this early?

The two teenage boys stood before the entrance to the arcade. The tall one had his eyes widened in excitement, his mouth was agape in amazement, his expression told every single soul there how enthralled he was despite it was his nth time coming to the place.

     The petite one, on the contrary, looked calm and relax. He showed no interest in whatever he saw because he originally was not into games and arcade. 

     "Let's go inside, Jihoon!" Soonyoung exclaimed in enthusiasm, grabbed the boy's arm, and dragged him into the arcade.

     Soonyoung exchanged his money with loads of tokens at the counter. Jihoon who merely looked on in silence with his brows arched had no idea how much did the boy bring in his wallet. But before he got the chance to ask him, Soonyoung had already pulled Jihoon to a shooting game booth. He picked up one of the fake guns provided and nudged it toward Jihoon with a grin spread across his features.

     "Let's kill all the zombies, Jihoon!" Soonyoung shot his puzzled friend a look full of determination. He held his fake gun real tight and seconds after Soonyoung inserted the tokens, the game started. 

     An image of zombie appeared on the black screen and as fast as lightning, Soonyoung pulled the trigger of the plastic gun and shot the zombie dead. Jihoon flinched slightly at the agility of Soonyoung shooting the zombie to death. He did not had the opportunity to pull the trigger even once and all Jihoon did there was standing stock-still in awkwardness, like a dumb. 

     "Jihoon! Shoot him! Hurry!"

     Soonyoung's voice shocked Jihoon. Hastily, he pulled the trigger, shooting at nothing and later on feeling frustrated at his poor achievement. 

     "It's okay, Jihoon!" said Soonyoung. "There are more zombies to kill. So hold your gun up and focus, okay?"

     Jihoon nodded at his words. He followed Soonyoung's advice and fixated his eyes on the coming zombies.

     Soonyoung was loud Jihoon would say. He kept on talking during the whole play, shouting out "Watch out!" every time the zombie woke up after being shot once. Well, it was a typical scene when he was hyped up by something he ardently loved. Jihoon should be acquainted with this noisy side of his friend by now. But he was being too serious and firm at that time he could not tolerate any kind of noise and foolish talk at all.

     But today was different. Today, Jihoon put aside the mask that had refrained him from enjoying all these things and played along instead.

     Moving on from the zombie shooting game, Soonyoung dragged Jihoon to another one. This time they were going to shoot all of the violent and dangerous insects and animals in the forbidden jungle. Soonyoung's scream filled the mini jeep yet Jihoon only laughed at him. 

     As time passed, they almost had a complete tour around the arcade. Jihoon had tried most of the games there, from the brutal shooting one up to the insipid put-the-fire-out kids game.

     Their laughter filled the air.

     It was as if an unicorn had galloped into the place and wiggled its tail side to side. Jihoon could see in the air the colourful lines of vivid rainbow being painted by the magical creature. Enchanted, never had Jihoon felt this wonderful before.

     Afterward, they went to grab some ice cream and rested on the wooden bench provided in the mall. Soonyoung, even though he had ice cream in his hand, he still could not stop talking. Recalling every moment they shared at the arcade, Soonyoung was hyped up again. 

     "We scored the highest mark for the basketball game! Gosh, I never know that you're so good in it! I thought you're only good at studying, though. We should hang out and play the real basketball game someday, Jihoon." Soonyoung nudged his arms gently and beamed.

     The broad smile which graced Jihoon's features earlier gradually faded as he heard Soonyoung. There would be no 'someday' left for him to play basketball together with Soonyoung. He knew that. 

     "Soonyoung," Jihoon called out his name in a low mutter.

     Soonyoung hummed and shot him a look. His brows arched.

     "Do you have any wish that you would like to fulfill today?"

     "Wish?" Soonyoung tapped his index finger on the chin, thinking as he made a continuous, steady sound of a bee. After a short pause, Soonyoung looked Jihoon in the eye and said, "I have one."

     "What is it?"

     "I..want to see you smile all day long."

     His answer got Jihoon speechless for a moment. Yet, without any doubt, Jihoon curved his lips into a smile, much to Soonyoung's surprise and amazement.

     The boy giggled and said, "I want you to smile wider. Even wider."

     And Jihoon did, though.

     Soonyoung thought it was not enough. Therefore he lightly pinched Jihoon's cheek and told him, "Wider and wider. I want to see your eye smile."

     Jihoon merely kept quiet when Soonyoung pinched his cheek, pulling out an even broader smile of his. 

     "Like that." Soonyoung let go of his cheeks and grinned enthusiastically. "You should smile more often. And laugh too. You look less intimidating when you smile and laugh, you know?"

     Silence followed after his words for Jihoon said nothing in response. The broadest smile he had ever wore in his life was still there, plastered across his fair complexion. His facial muscle ached a tad and Jihoon wondered how long had it been since he last smiled this wide. All because of Soonyoung.

     Jihoon was racked with guilt. As he looked full into Soonyoung's face, his heart ached. He knows how excruciating it is when people who used to frown at you all the time suddenly wear his broadest and rarest smile, only because he knows that he would not be able to show you how the corners of his lips twitched upward and how his eyes could form two tiny moons in a shape of a crescent anymore.

     It is sad yet Jihoon could do nothing about it. If only Jihoon had a power and was given a choice, he would have turned back time, back to the drizzly morning when he met Soonyoung for the first time. Back to the second when they first spoke to each other even though they were in the same class since two months ago. Back to the old memory which would stay as a memory forever. 

     If only…

     Jihoon spent the rest of the day staying by Soonyoung's side. Wherever the enthusiast went, Jihoon would silently trail behind without any objection or complaint. But a question.

     Soonyoung drove him to a columbarium, having Jihoon slightly frowned in bewilderment. Jihoon shot a questioning look at Soonyoung whose small wistful smile was formed on his lips. The question somehow remained unspoken in his head until the moment they stood before a niche where two urns were kept side by side.

     By the time Jihoon read the two names on the simple plaque, little did he know they were Soonyoung's parents whom Jihoon never knew were long gone from this world.

     "It's been a long day since I visited them," Soonyoung said in a low mutter. His eyes were doleful, poignant look on his face. "I miss them."

     Upon hearing him, Jihoon reminded himself of the promise he made earlier. A small promise in which he would never break down in front of Soonyoung. Not even a tear could fall from his eyes. Thus, he struggled to fight back tears that slowly welled up in his eyes. 

     "Last night..I dreamed of them. They stretched out their hands at me and smiled. Their smiles were genuine and so beautiful. Like an angel."

     He felt bad. Jihoon felt so bad for himself right now. 

     "Jihoon," Soonyoung said under his breath, but loud enough for the other to hear, "I don't know why but…I feel so happy today. Like really happy. Unlike the previous days. And I don't either know why.. I feel so sad today. Do you know why, Jihoon? Do you know why I have these kinds of feelings?"

     Instead of answering his question, Jihoon burst into tears. He could not stifle it any longer. He could not suppress this agonizing guilt any longer. He could not keep his promise anymore. 

     Soonyoung heard him lamenting out of the blue and panicked. Hastily he asked Jihoon if he was okay, only to be replied with nothing but tears that continuously streamed down his cheeks and thus, erasing the smile from his face. Soonyoung took the other into a comforting embrace despite he knew nothing about the reason why Jihoon suddenly cried.

     "Jihoon, don't cry. I'll be here beside you."

     Jihoon knew very well that he should not believe in those words that fell out of his mouth. Just like a butterfly smoothly leaving the flower it had perched on and soared upward, that was how Soonyoung was going to leave him when the night approached and he closed his eyes to sleep.

     And how Jihoon wished he could slow down the movement of the hands of the clock so that one day would feel like forever, so that he could spend more time with Soonyoung.

     But he could not.

     When the glinting stars began to pave the dark sky and the Moon began to reflect the light from the Sun, shining upon the entire city, Jihoon just could not shrug off the thought of him losing his friend tonight.

     Nothing felt right ever since then. Even the most expensive food from the rendezvous restaurant tasted nothing. In the end, Jihoon stared at his meal blankly, his gaze was dead and empty.

     "Jihoon, you okay?" Soonyoung asked worryingly as he noticed the obvious change in his friend's behaviour.

     "Oh?" was what Jihoon could say as a reply.

     "If you have a problem, don't over think it, okay? It will only take your happiness away and leave you with no reason to smile when, in fact, there are plenty of it. Just forget about the problem for a while, will you? Everything will be fine."

     Jihoon heaved an audible sigh and locked his eyes with Soonyoung's. He was right anyway. Jihoon was not supposed to over think about it. At time like this Jihoon should be fulfilling Soonyoung's wish; to smile as wide as his lips could all day long. 

     "Everything…will be fine, right?" Jihoon said under his breath.

     "Yes, Jihoon. Everything will be fine and alright in the end. So smile!" And with that Soonyoung twitched the corners of his lips into a bright smile, asking Jihoon to do the same.

     Gradually, a smile graced Jihoon's features slightly, bringing back the glow he once lost. 

"You know what, Jihoon? This is my first time stargazing with a friend while lying on my back on the ground. And I was wearing a white shirt right now."

     Jihoon laughed at his misfortune of having his white shirt stained. Nonetheless, he understood his feelings because it was also his first time stargazing with someone like this. 

     The view itself was magnificent. Enthralling. Magical. Stars scattered everywhere it was as if someone was sprinkling it. It was as if a fairy was waving her wand and casted its golden dusts onto the night sky, coating the atmosphere with glitters of all sorts. Jihoon had no idea that he could watch this captivating view at his house front yard.

     "And I'm so happy that I can do it with you, Jihoon."

     Upon hearing Soonyoung, Jihoon's smile spread across his face even wider. "Me too, Soonyoung," he replied.

     Soonyoung heaved a breath, feeling contented and glad. "Before this," he said, "I used to think that we are different. Like the two opposite poles. Like you are the North and I am the South. You are the blue pole and I am the red one. People said that opposite attracts but I wondered if it would ever happen when we always fought with each other and you never smiled at me. Even on the day when we spoke to each other for the first time. I thought that we would never get close and I hated you until…I began to care less about your frown, your strictness, your aloof and distant personality, everything that had pushed me away from you. I ignored them all and started to approach you with smiles and good mornings. I knew you would ignore me, but after doing that I...felt like I had found the solace back.

     "Perhaps, it is because of the hatred that quietly lived inside my heart that had made me went frantic and agitated all the time. Perhaps, I am the reason why everything seems hard. Perhaps, it has always been that simple from the very beginning. I just have to open my eyes wider and start loving people around me without trying to fix them in accordance with my liking. I just have to love them unconditionally and sincerely. Because we are all imperfect. We are all fallible. And that should explain why we are able to empathy each other. That should've explained why we could relate to people's problems easily even if they are a complete stranger. Because we are same. In humanly way."

     Jihoon shot him a pensive look, only remained silent as Soonyoung continued.

     "My mom always reminded me not to keep any hatred within my heart but I seldom listened to it. Now that I knew the reason why, her words make sense to me."

     "You are an angel, Soonyoung."

     Soonyoung furrowed his brows in some astonishment upon hearing the unexpected reply from Jihoon. "Angel? I am an angel?"

     "Yes. You are."

     "No, I am not. Angel is not a fallible creature like me. They are free from any sin. They are pure. Innocent. White. But thank you for the compliment."

     Jihoon rolled his eyes in a slight annoyance at the last words and looked away. 

     Soonyoung laughed in contentment. After a short pause, he said, "Anyway, you are so different today, Jihoon. So unlike you."

     "And so what? Do you have any problem with it?" Jihoon said in teasing manner.

     Soonyoung shook his head. "Nope. I don't have any problem with it. Instead, I'm so pleased to witness this rare cute side of you."

     Jihoon cringed the second the word 'cute' fell out of Soonyoung's mouth. "Please don't say cringy stuff like that. I'm allergic to them."

     Soonyoung laughed excitedly and began to reiterate, "Jihoon is cute," to his ear many times.

     Jihoon tried to push Soonyoung who kept on shifting to his side away and shut his mouth up. But deep within his heart, Jihoon enjoyed it. The simple yet meaningful moment.

     Finally admitting his defeat, Soonyoung let Jihoon pushed his body to the side and averted his eyes to the night sky above him. An audible sigh escaped from his lips afterward and a smile was formed.

     "Thank you, Jihoon. For today."

     "Thank you to you as well. For everything."

     Soonyoung grinned from ear to ear at Jihoon's word. Indeed, today was his happiest day ever. He did everything he wanted to do with a friend and that friend was Jihoon. Feeling lethargic, Soonyoung yawned, his eyelids began to feel heavy. "Jihoon, I'm sleepy. Can I sleep here?"

     After a short pause, Jihoon reluctantly replied, "Sure, you can sleep here."

     "Will you accompany me and sleep here as well?"

     "Yes, I will. Don't worry. I will be here, right next to you, until you fall asleep, Soonyoung."

     Soonyoung let out a small squeal and shivered in delight. In rapture, Soonyoung slipped his arm into Jihoon's and hugged it. "Thank you, cutie. Well, before I sleep, Jihoon, I want you to know that there's no such thing as grudge between us. I've forgiven you sincerely with all of my heart and I hope you forgive me too, for all of my wrongdoings toward you. Okay?" he said and after receiving a smile from the other, Soonyoung slowly closed his eyes as he took a deep breath and heaved it.

     Jihoon, on the other hand, was speechless. Those words pierced his heart tenderly and quietly, but it hurt him in the most agonizing and excruciating way ever. Unable to fight fate, Jihoon held Soonyoung's hand suavely, feeling the beautiful warmth that radiated from his body. He let the painful silence swept over the place as he listened to the soft snoring of Soonyoung. 

     "Are you asleep yet, Soonyoung?" Jihoon asked in a low mutter, after a long moment of anxious silence.

     To his suprise, Soonyoung lazily hummed in response. His eyes were still closed, though. The faint smile was still plastered across his features.

     For some reason, he felt relieved when he heard the soft hum. "People sometimes are so stupid."

     "Hmm? Why?" Soonyoung blurted lazily.

     "They always told us to appreciate people around us as long as we live. Yet, we never listen to it. Only when that certain person has gone, did we realize how much we haven't done to them yet. If only we knows how long do we have left to be with someone, sure enough, we would make more time with them. We won't ignore their calls even when we're tired. We won't interrupt them when they were telling us stories. We won't spew out foul words at them when they did wrong. We won't belittle them for their weaknesses. We won't turn a blind eye on them. We won't take them for granted. Instead, we will answer their calls and ask if they had eaten yet. We will listen to every single word they blurted out at us without any interjection. We will advise them nicely when they did mistake. We will encourage them every day until they stand up on their own and fight again. We will look them full in their face meaningfully. We will treat them with care, love, and affection, the same way we treat our precious treasures. Because that's how it's supposed to be. Right?"

     But there was no response from Soonyoung. Only the sound of his soft snoring. Little by little, tears began to well up in his eyes and Jihoon choked on his words as he spoke.

     "Therefore, Soonyoung, from today onward, I will smile a lot. From today onward, I will laugh to every joke, witty or insipid ones. From today onward, I will greet everyone good morning. From today onward, I won't be the old, strict Lee Jihoon you used to know. I will be the new, amiable Lee Jihoon who will make his time for everyone he knows because Death doesn't wait. Death doesn't wait for us to suffer from a disease. Death doesn't wait for us to bid a farewell properly. Death doesn't. He never will. But tonight is such a beautiful night and it's been so long since I have a good, nice dream. Soonyoung… Thank you. Sweet dream. Goodnight."

     He inhaled a deep breath and with a heavy heart, teary eyes, and a wistful smile, Jihoon muttered, "Goodbye."

Death is a proof that human is indeed an imperfect being. So was Jihoon. That night, the same dream appeared again, as usual. But unlike before, Jihoon would try to find the person he dreamed of last night and told them to do everything that they had wanted to do and spend all of their time with their beloved ones. Though he could not find most of them, there were a few that Jihoon met by accident and fortunately, they were still alive. 

     Some labelled him weird and nosy. Some followed his words and even thanked him. After all, Jihoon never felt offended. He was just playing his role as the one who bore this ability and it brought a huge ease in his heart, though, for he could do something to people, even if it was as tiny as a particle. 

     The moment the snowflake fell upon his palm, Jihoon stared at it until it melted down. Gazing up to the sky, more snowflakes began to fall, telling Jihoon that winter had come. Christmas carol would be sung in front of the church. Wishes would be made by the little children. Presents would be put under the huge Christmas tree. And that was how the Christmas day was going to be celebrated this year. 

     As pure as snow, that was how Jihoon viewed Soonyoung. An angel. His death was indeed the most beautiful one Jihoon had ever witnessed. Right beneath the vast ocean of stars and the radiant glow of Moon, Death came at him, sang him a lullaby, and gently took his soul away from his body. 

     At that moment, Jihoon wondered what Soonyoung dreamed of before he died. Perhaps, he was in the warm embrace of his parents, having a heartfelt reunion with his beloved ones. Whatever it was, Jihoon just wanted Soonyoung to rest there in peace and full of composure just like how he exhaled his last breath five months ago. 

     Walking down the street which had gradually been covered by snow, Jihoon strolled toward the bus stop where he spotted a tall young man sitting on a bench, his one leg was shaking.

     His brows creased with worry and occasionally his phone vibrated, indicating an incoming call from someone. 

     "Why did you the decline the call?" Jihoon asked with manners as he noticed the word 'Mom' on the man's phone screen.

     The man shot Jihoon a look, guilt written all over his expression. He opened his mouth to speak something, yet the words remained stuck at his throat. 

     "I think you should answer the call. Perhaps, she wants to say something important to you. Who knows?" Jihoon arched his brows and smiled genuinely.

     The young man averted his eyes to his device and then to Jihoon. "Okay," he replied after putting a thought into it and dialed the particular number.

     Jihoon heaved an inward sigh and before long, he diverted his attention to the hectic road where his lips curved into a wistful smile and his eyes went heavy and doleful as the man spoke to his mother through the phone.

     Indeed, Christmas without our beloved ones would be dull and morose, like a dark street with no lampposts.