My eyes were always on him when he passed by me. His short stature and blank expression was how I determined the mood of my day. I made sure to change my route to class so I could see him at least six times a day, sometimes seven or eight if he happens to make his way into the library or the cafeteria during one of my visits.

We used to be close friends but we would also clash all of the time. His straightforwardness could never cooperate with my loose personality but we somehow made it work for years.

We still talk but we aren’t together enough to uphold that closeness. No classes and he’s rooming with Seungcheol while I’m stuck in a room with a bookworm who is obsessed with plants. He’s cool and all but he’s not my Jihoon.

My Jihoon; he’s not mine anymore. He’s Seungcheol’s Jihoon according to Jeonghan. Everyone knows that if Jeonghan tells it, it’s bound to be true. “He made a huge confession and everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if the relationship was consummated that night,” the angelic gossiper whispered to a small group of students, including me.

I wish I didn’t hear it. I don’t like the image of my Jihoon hugged up to an olaf like Seungcheol. I want my arms wrapped around his small frame and my lips peppering kisses near his ear as I whisper sweet things to him. I want to hear his giggling and feel his squirming. I want him...

“Hey, Soonyoung. Weren’t you supposed to ask Jihoon out? Are you going to still do it? You still  might have a chance.” I wanted to scream. If only Jeonghan knew how much I wanted to punch him, he would have taken back his words and more. But I couldn’t hit him. It would draw too much attention. The heartbreaker can be brokenhearted. It’s against the rules.

After I laugh off the statement I decide to head back to my room. For once I hope my botanist of a roommate was in the room. That way I wouldn’t be alone to think about everything. I don’t want to think because it will result in me getting sad and when I get sad, it’s not pretty.

As I’m walking my luck strikes early, note the sarcasm, when I see Jihoon, my Jihoon, laughing and talking with Seungcheol. My heart tightens and I can feel the stinging hit my eyes. Not here, not now.

“Soon!” Don’t call me. Don’t run over to me and smile like you didn’t break my heart. Please don’t be nice. “Soonyoung, it’s been awhile since we’ve talked. How are you?” Jihoon, please leave me alone.

“I’m fine. Never been better,” I respond “happily”. He can’t see me hurt. The heartbreaker can’t be brokenhea--”Oh, have you met Seungcheol? My roommate? You two should be friends,” he smiles and I swear I hear a small crack coming from my chest. Friends? Befriend someone who easily stole my lo--, no. He wasn’t mine. He never was mine. I made him mine in my head and believed it as so.

A nice fake smile stretches across my face. “We should. I would like that. You still have my number? Let him have it and he can message me whenever. I would like to stay but I have to go now so see you later?” Another crack is formed. I can’t stay here. The stinging is getting worse and I don’t think I can hold back any longer. Just a few more seconds so I can hear him say goodbye.

“Jihoon, is this Soonyoung?” Seungcheol comes behind him and wraps his arms around his small frame from behind. I choke up but cough to mask it. Not here, Soonyoung. The heartbreaker can’t be broken. The heartbreaker…

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay there any longer and listen to my heart crumble into dust while they stood there happy and in love. I ran after I forcing out a bye, ignoring the calls to my name and the stares from the people nearby. I had to find a place to hide.

I end up at the school’s radio station. No one’s around and the door was ajar. A perfect place to watch my heart’s pain translate into tears. I find a spot in the studio, which was also left open. Why is everything conveniently left open? If only I had this luck in love.

I never liked the title of heartbreaker. It was bad luck when it came to wanting something serious. No one compared to the person who I tragically loved. While my heart broke up with every victim in my path, my brain was shouting every curse word in the book and reminded me of how stupid I was to not give anyone a chance.

You win, brain. You knew how this would end, didn’t you? Why won’t these tears come out?! I scream in frustration, the cue needed for me to begin my crying. Over some guy? This isn’t the infamous heartbreaking mastermind everyone knew. This is Soonyoung, the person too stupid to notice the direction of things; too stupid to make sure no one was around before screaming; and too stupid to not close the damn studio door.

“What the--hyung! Are you okay?”

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I figured a system so I don't make you guys wait years until the next chapter. Although it's going to be applied once the next chapter is finished, I'm sure it'll work! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!