Y/N:

For the first time in much too long, you taste the feeling of home, of peace and of sweet, carefree happiness. You taste spicy, musky skin and you taste alcohol and tobacco and mint. You taste yourself and you taste Taehyung and the taste could not be headier. You’re giddy and greedy for it and you yearn to fill yourself up with it and let it consume you. This is Taehyung. This is what being with him feels like. Like having a mind incapable of coherent thought, a mouth that’s far too selfish and a body that’s ready to melt for him.

The only kindness in this kiss is when your lips first touch his. When his mouth crashes down on yours again, there is no hint of sweetness or any playful nature between the two of you. This kiss, borne out of pure frustration and a mutual need for more, is almost angry.

Taehyung pins you down beneath him and pulls your legs around him, making you feel his need for you. With your mouths dancing, you grab fistfuls of his hair in an attempt to bring him closer. He s you and presses you up against him, not even pausing but somehow, managing to rip off his shirt.

The feeling of his bare, fiery tanned skin and his hot mouth on you as he , grazes and bites whatever flesh he can, drives any remaining thought from your mind and you’re completely thrown into the moment, so aware of your soft whining as he moves hard against you with a persistent half-whimpering, half-groaning primal sound, which becomes increasingly filled with impatience as he struggles with your stubborn buttons and belt that won’t come undone. You bring him back to your mouth but mid-kiss, open your eyes to find him doing the same.

Looking into each other’s eyes, you know: It’s time to stop. The kiss dies, though he still hovers over you. You smile faintly at him and the sad smile is reflected on his own face. You unwrap your legs from around him and he presses his lips softly, very softly, to yours, and you press back against his for a few seconds before letting go of the locks of his hair that you’d forgotten you were clutching tightly.

He lies down next to you again and neither of you say a word, looking at the other in the mirror above. You close your eyes to his reflection as the reality of what you’d done sets in and at that point, he gets up, finds his shirt and quietly leaves the room.

Lying on your side, you curl your head down to your knees and hug your body to yourself, afraid to cry in case he returns. Your body trembles and after it becomes clear that Taehyung won’t be coming back, you begin to weep bitterly, your body being racked with tears that tire you out and seem to be never-ending. Your mind keeps replaying what had happened and you feel sorry for Jimin and for your actions, knowing full well what it feels like to be on the receiving end. At the same time, you hate the part of you that hopes for Taehyung to return and for him to hold you, so that you may fall asleep in those arms of his that have a way of making everything better.

~

Seeing as it’s at your disposal, you draw a bath, squeezing a regrettable combination of sweet scents into the water, choosing them based on their labels: relax, happy and strength. You scrub yourself thoroughly, once, twice, thrice, and another just to be sure that no trace of the previous night lingers on you. You don’t have other clothing to change into, so you just get dressed in what you’d had on before. The door opens as you’re buttoning your shirt and when you turn to see what’s going on, it shuts immediately, and after a few moments, a knock comes from outside.

You open the door and Taehyung stands in the doorway, “Morning Ba-” He swallows his words and tries again, his voice monotone, “Morning. Are you ready to head home?”

You nod, “Don’t you want to wash up? Our parents will probably be waiting by the time we get back… Might as well be clean.”

Without answering, he goes into the small bathroom, equipped with a shower, and comes out a few minutes later towel drying his hair. “Okay, let’s go.”

The drive back is quiet in terms of conversation, but Taehyung puts the radio up so high that when you arrive at his house and he switches the car off, your ears ring for a few seconds. Your parent’s car is parked outside and you walk up to the door with a heavy heart.

The two of you walk in and are met by hostile suspicion.

“Nice of you two to finally join us.” Your mother, the first to speak, greets.

“Sorry, we were out last night and had too much to drink to drive back.” You offer.

“Better safe than dead, right?” Taehyung chuckles, trying to make light of the situation.

Both sets of parents sigh as if wanting to argue but not having the energy.

“Just get dressed, you fools.” Taehyung’s father dismisses.

You go over to greet your parents properly and they embrace you tightly, “We’ve missed you, Buttercup.” Your father murmurs, kissing the top of your head.

~

Hoseok:

Weary and dragging his aching limbs into the house, Hoseok comes home from work to find his mother cornering Suran yet again. She stands over the pregnant woman, preaching about all the reasons they should get married and the ‘proper way’ to raise a child. This is what he’s been coming home to every day since Suran came to stay with them, and he’s just about reached boiling point. Unlike the days before, she’s shouting at the girl and doesn’t let her get a word in edgewise. He’s about to say something to get her to stop as he always does, when he notices Suran’s tear-stained face. What the ?

“Are you okay?” He asks, sitting down next to the mother of his unborn child.

“She’s fine. We’re just having a conversation.” His mother writes off, “Now, about this wedding-”

“Can you just shut up about this for one second?!” He explodes, “You can’t honestly expect this of us!” Hoseok yells, having had enough of his parents trying to force a marriage on to them.

“Watch your language, Hoseok!” His mother shouts back. “Grow up and face reality! As a parent you have to make sacrifices for your kids. Geez!” She shakes her head, “It’s not the end of the world, you know? Feelings can change.”

“I’m gay!” He throws his hands up, “Do I need to spell it out for you? I don’t have feelings for women!”

“Well, somehow you ended up impregnating one anyway!” His father booms, coming to stand next to his mother. “Get over yourself!”

“No!” He stops himself from yelling and pleads, “I can't live a lie for the rest of my life like that and I refuse to force her-” He points at Suran, his voice becoming more strangled, “-into such inevitable misery. what the world thinks. I think it would be much more confusing and damaging to my daughter if her parents are constantly fighting or struggling to keep their heads above water because they’re forced to be something else even in their own home. How will she ever learn to love her true self?” He shakes his head, more convinced of himself as he pictures the future, “ no… You know what?” He whips around, eyes heavy with disdain as he stares at his parents, “We don’t have to take this .” He takes Suran by the hand and marches her off to his room, leaving his parents stunned in his wake.

“Watch your language and don’t slam that door, young man!” His mother screeches.

“Are you okay?” He asks Suran once inside.

He sets her down on the bed, drying her tears with his sleeve, “I should never have brought you here. I’m so sorry.”

“I agreed to stay, it’s not your fault.” She smiles faintly.

Hoseok sighs, “We need to leave.”

“What do you mean?” She asks, sniffling.

He pushes off the bed and grabs suitcases out of his cupboard. “I’ve had enough of this, haven’t you?”

“Well, yes but…” She trails off, not knowing why she’s objecting. “What about your parents?”

“I’m not a kid, Suran.” He says in a low tone, pausing his pacing. “This is the last year on my degree and I’ve got a scholarship anyway. You and the baby need stability right now and my parents… They’re causing so much stress and we don’t need any more of that.”

“You don’t think she needs a family?”

“So… you want to get married?”

“No, not at all.” She says firmly, “But my family is out of the question and now if we don’t have yours… She’ll have no-one.”

“Aren’t we enough?”

She scratches her head, “Do you realise how difficult this will be by ourselves? With you studying and me alone with the baby every day? What do we do with her when I have to go back to work?” She gets up off the bed and steps up to him, worry written all over her face, “Sure, I’ve got paid maternity leave but your parents still support you. Where will we get enough money for her? And if we go back to my apartment now, what will happen to your job?”

Hoseok slumps down on the floor and she tries to do sit delicately, but just dumps herself down, her tummy throwing her balance off. He asks her if she’s okay, but she just chuckles and takes his hands in hers.

“Thank you for doing this with me.”

“For real?” He laughs sarcastically, “My mom made you cry today. She’s awful to you.”

“Still… It’s nice to not be completely alone anymore.” She admits.

“So, we’re staying?” He asks.

“How about this… If your parents are still nagging us after New Year’s, then we’ll ditch them.”

“That’s two weeks from now…” He sighs. “Just know I’m ready to bounce out at any time, okay?”

She rests her head on his shoulder, “You don’t want to burn bridges with you parents unless you really have to Hoseok… Let’s try to be patient with them.”

“You’re going to be a great mom.” He chuckles softly, hugging her belly to him, “You know, when I came into the house earlier and saw you crying like that, it got me really pissed off… Like really pissed off.” He looks up at her and gives a small roar, “I felt like the Hulk.”

“Yeah, you looked like him too…” She giggles, ruffling his hair.

~

Y/N:

Along with your parents and Taehyung’s family, the lot of you go out to lunch, all driving up together in his mom’s huge car. For a while, you’re so excited about your parent’s return that you don’t really feel the awkwardness of sitting next to him or think about your actions of the night before. That is until after the food arrives and Taehyung’s siblings go off to the play area and your parents become absorbed in their own conversation, leaving the two of you to entertain each other. You don’t really even end up talking though, and at one point you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and end up just sitting there to pass some time.

While holed up in the bathroom stall pretending you have no problems, your phone buzzes. It’s a text from Jimin: Hey Angel, are you alive? My goodnight messages feel lonely without your reply…

! You try typing out a few versions of the truth but find yourself unable to press send every time. Eventually, you settle on: Sorry Babe, I’ve been out of it… A bit sick… Talk tomorrow, okay? ^3^

It’s close to the truth, kinda… Yeah right! Maybe if you were out of your mind and sick in the head!

The day takes a turn for the worse when they decide to get ice cream and go for a long, scenic drive to watch the sunset, forcing the two of you to sit together and act lively. He feels so terribly warm next to you, far warmer than the cold sun that fights to be seen among the thick clouds, and you struggle to keep from leaning into him, wanting nothing more than to burrow your head into his neck and have him wrap his arms around you.

The drive feels long, awkward, dull and gloomy -just like the day- and you want nothing more than to see it disappear, just like the fading sun as it drops below the horizon. I want my own bed and my own room and my mommy’s food and I want all this complicated to go away! Realising how unreasonable you sound even to yourself, you sigh, I actually just wish I knew what I wanted. Or that I could have no feelings at all. Oh, how great would that be… To have no feelings.