Two months passed and you were relieved that Sehun had stopped trying to contact you.  But your heart always had the tendency to contradict your resolve.  Deep down, everyday felt like a battle; you constantly checked your pulse to prove that you were, in fact, still alive. 

A week ago, you had gotten an invitation for a high school reunion at a friend’s mansion. Though you were never big on parties, you reasoned that it was a good chance to catch up with some childhood friends.  But on the back of your mind, you knew exactly why you wanted to go.

The helpless girl inside of you giddily emptied out the entire closet for the perfect dress.  You held a floral printed dress up to your body, shook your head, and switched to a royal blue sweetheart dress.  On the fifth switch, your eyes lingered on your own reflection. 

Your smile dropped. 

What are you doing, ________?  Exactly, why were you so happy?  Stupid.

With disappointment evident in your eyes, you put all of the fancy dresses back into your wardrobe and opted for a forgettable little black dress.  You tied your hair into a high bun, threw on a light jacket and your everyday purse, and completed the simple look with a pair of black wedges.

Outside, you considered driving but decided otherwise because lately you’ve been getting dizzy spells from lack of sleep.  Plus, you didn’t want to be the designated driver anymore…because the last time you were…you…

So you got into a taxi.  The driver greeted you politely and complimented you on your attire.  Out of courtesy, you informed him of the high school reunion party.  He chuckled and continued to make small talk with you throughout the ride.  You laughed along, grateful for his friendly nature that had momentarily quieted your wandering mind. 

At the red light, a familiar song played on the radio, triggering the memories you tried so very hard to suppress. 

(Look at me – Carrie Underwood)

I would bet my life, like I bet my heart
That you were the one, baby
I’ve never been so sure of anything before
It’s driving my heart crazy

I can’t hold out, I can’t hold back now
Like I’ve done before

Darling, look at me
I’ve fallen like a fool for you
Darling, can’t you see
I’d do anything you want me to

I tell myself I’m in to deep
Then I fall a little farther
Every time you look at me

Your hand rested on your throbbing heart while you blinked back tears.  You remembered the first time you cheered Sehun on at his volleyball tournament, back in high school.  The first time you secretly watched him during dance practice.  The time you fell down the stairs and he piggybacked you home.  The time he offered you his jacket even though his teeth were chattering in the cold.  The time you told him you loved him…

“Ma’am, are you okay?” the driver brought you back to the present.

Wiping away your tears, you replied, “Yeah, yeah.  Just…getting all these nostalgic feelings”.  You laughed a little to prove that you were fine.

“Time flies doesn’t it?” he sniggered again and you nodded.

Suddenly, a screech sounded and the car lunged forward then backward before halting completely.  Behind you, cars honked in annoyance.  You looked to the driver for answers, but he seemed just as confused as you.  He struggled to start up the car again and again but to your dismay the car refused to start.  

Shaking his head, the driver apologized, “Sorry, Ma’am.  Should I call another taxi for you?”

“No, it’s fine.  It’s just two blocks away,” you answered with a reassuring smile. 

After paying the fare, you stepped out of the taxi and began to walk the rest of the way.  The chilly autumn breeze caused you to rub your arms and tug your jacket closer to your body. 

From the corner of your eyes, you see a familiar white BMW. 

Sehun…

Smiling sadly, you watched as Sehun drove pass you.  His eyes were the shape of crescent moons as Minyoung hit him playfully on the arm before kissing him on the cheek.  And even though your wound felt as if it was raw and newly opened, you could do nothing about it.  His car sped off into the distance. 

A tiny droplet rushed down your face.  You looked up at the sky but it wasn’t raining.

Upon arrival at the big mansion, you politely greeted the host, Eunhye.  She smiled at you and wrapped you in a suffocating bear hug.  You giggled and hugged her back with just as much force.

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