“Good! I don’t want to lose another member of the group…”

He felt a pang across his heart, it hurt him. It hurts him knowing that it was the voice of his group mate that replied. He was pretty much alive and what’s in between them was only the curtain inside the hospital bedroom.

“Jung-sshi, please have some more rest…”

In times like this that made Chanwoo realise how God was evil, selfish and loveless. A thin layered of curtain was holding him back from returning to their member. His hand that was trying to reach out for it was softly pulled back and he was ordered to sleep and rest. Chanwoo shook his head side to side declining the offer to stay in bed just yet. He misses his family what most he misses the seven of them together; the feeling of togetherness and a sense of belonging.

“Jung-sshi…” the doctored offered him a glass of water.

A frown crept up on Chanwoo face, the doctor was acting weird. He knows for a fact that Dr. Choi wouldn’t call him `Jung-sshi` so he was fast to notice that something was off, or was his mind being paranoid of everyone that stays beside him after his little encounter with Moonbin this afternoon. He grab a hold of the market pen and start writing again on the small size portable white board readied by Dr. Choi for him.

Why are you calling me Jung-sshi?

He showed the board to the doctor who was slightly taken aback with his words but swiftly tries to maintain his expression. Chanwoo face the board against him and write something else.

Dr. Choi, please. Tell me. Are you hiding something?

Chanwoo swears he saw his eyes widen as if a sudden fear arise inside of him and that changes his usual composure doctor attitude. He appear to be nervous and seems reluctant to give any answer regarding Chanwoo little question.

It’s okay…

He writes them and show it to the doctor; he knows there probably something going on but to see Dr. Choi to lose his composure must have been a stressful matter that made him so reluctant to reply. Chanwoo push those doubtful thoughts aside and smiles towards his doctor, patting his shoulder softly before closing his eyes.

/ / / / / / /

Clock strikes twelve midnight as the waiting area was occupied with six boys worriedly waiting for an update about their group mate. Although everyone knows, it probably his lack of sleeping giving Bobby his karma for trying to fight reality yet still they wait for an official update regarding him.

“You know…” Jinhwan started as he turn to glance at his side which Hanbin seated sleepily. Through his grogginess Hanbin shake his head as if knowing full well what topic that the older male was trying to start.

A tall blonde stride before both of them and crouches down levelling his eyes with them who were seated. “But if you think about it, what if…what if—!”

“Hyung, stop!” both of the older member slightly taken aback from Hanbin’s small action against them regarding the matter; grabbing each Yunhyeong and Jinhwan arm with one of his hand against them both. Speechless both of them glances over at Hanbin trying to find answer of his actions.

Hanbin didn’t make a sound or any verbal reply, instead his eyes move to the corner of the wardroom door where Donghyuk were silently praying for their member whilst June was daydreaming. Among all six of them, upon matter of Chanwoo incident the one who have it rough and hard accepting the death of their maknae was Bobby, Donghyuk and Junhoe. It was to be expected as they were always together, joking and bickering inside the house.

Two oldest member understand what Hanbin was trying to convey by the slight moment of eye contact from before, both of them mouthed `I’m sorry` whilst facing Hanbin and being the leader he are, he easily forget it satisfied and grateful that they member actually know how a taboo Chanwoo’s name are in the group currently.

Why can’t I feel a single emotion run though? He was agitated at how his self-pressure were getting into him. Deep down he felt guilty the fact he didn’t listen to Chanwoo and now that he secretly found a written letter from Chanwoo to him, he didn’t tell the others. He kept it quiet; a secret from the others.

Hanbin glances upward from the hospital tiles floor and his gaze were met