“100 v 100. That means screen time will be hard to come by.”

“For all we know we would be better off declaring an off day and not showing up,” grumbles Seokmin, “instead of working hard, I could be stuffing my face with barbeque meat!”

“Lee Kwang Soo is from Namyangju. I think.”

“You sure?” Seokmin has already taken out his phone and starting googling  his hometown.

“Okay, yes, Lee Kwang Soo is from Namyangju.”

“Just make sure you get to introduce us. Don’t let Coups do it.”

“Don’t worry, I got this.”

 

If there’s anything htat Kwon Soonyoung has learnt from watching too much Running Man, it’s that kindness from Lee Kwang Soo is normally treated very well when it comes to editing. It’s even better if you’re a pretty female, but that’s not something that Soonyoung can fix. For the record, he has no intentions of fixing that, thank you very much.

 

Seungkwan is high fiving Soonyoung under the chair after his little plan worked beautifully. Kwang Soo identified with the fact that Soonyoung hailed from the same hometown, and they even shared a bro hug.

 

“That’s already worth coming here,” Seungkwan observes when Soonyoung is otherwise occupied chatting with Lee Kwang Soo between takes.

“I most humbly disagree,” his body language screaming anything but, “he’s not the one who wants to be the variety dream tree competent in demand emcee. That’s you.”

“Some things are not up to you to decide.”

Seokmin scoffs, “like you actually believe that Boo Seungkwan. The Boo Seungkwan I know wants, and can decide whatever he wants.”

“There’s another 91 idols here. Unlike you and Kwon Soonyoung, I know the meaning of being realistic.”

 

But they listen intently anyway to the format of the game. And try their best to eavesdrop on the strategizing of the Running Man team so that they can best strategize to get the most out of it.

 

“So Mr. I don’t know how to be realistic, can you tell me what strategy should we use?”

“Let’s wait. It won’t be over in two rounds.”

Seungkwan nods and they keep their eyes fixed on the chaos happening in front of them, cheering when appropriate, but really watching everything with eagle eyes to figure out the best strategy. Kwon Soonyoung is still busy socializing with Lee Kwang Soo, and this is probably for the best. Kwang Soo introduces him to some of his friends, and Soonyoung is doing an A+ job at building relationships.

It’s all great until Soonyoung gestures for the two of them go over, and the two boys, being the good rookie idols that they are scuttle over hurriedly.

“These are some of my friends in my group! This is Boo Seungkwan, he’s from Jeju, and he’s Lee Seokmin, who’s also from Gyeonggi-do.”

“Sorry, I don’t have any special love from people who are from Gyeonggi-do,” Kwang Soo responds with a straight face.

“Of course, Gyeonggi-do is a big province,” he replies, unsure of what sort of reaction he’s supposed to give.

“Look at you,” Kwang Soo chuckles, ruffling Seokmin’s hair, “you’re cute.”

“Thank you?”

 

“It don’t look like you’ll get much out of ripping others name tags. Unless you can do it by yourself. Which is not happening, because like seriously look at them.”

“Yeah, thanks for telling me that I’m not comparable to a national level athlete. I’m so honoured.”

“They’re sending many people this round though,” Soonyoung comments, looking at the active recruitment of the fitter looking idols.

“We won’t lose this round,” Seokmin insists, “they won’t let it happen. It’s not good for television. You can’t invite all these heroes and not let all of them participate in the final round.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Seungcheol calls, this being directed at god knows who. Seungkwan definitely doesn’t know. All the strong Seventeen boys are going this round.

 

Plus one to telling Soonyoung, Seungkwan and Seokmin that they look weak. It’s true, because all that’s left besides the two of them are Lee Jihoon and Lee Chan or something. It’s quite undeniable that they’re the weaker bunch of the Seventeen boys. Soonyoung casts Seokmin a cursory glance, maybe except Lee Seokmin, he doesn’t fit with the rest of them, but since when did he anyway. He never fit.

 

“So Seokmin, if you’re so brilliant, praytell, what’s your strategy to get us screentime.”

“You got to be the last man standing. We’re so losing against the overpowered heroes team, but they can’t let you just die in two seconds.”

“Easy to say, Lee Seokmin.”

“You can do it. You don’t have a target on your back, not like the Running Man cast.”

“So does everyone else here who isn’t a Running Man.”

“But if they thought they were fit and strong, they would have gone in Round 2. Self selection.”

“So you don’t think you’re fit and strong.”

“I’m pretty much a slob,” Seokmin replies not missing a beat, “have you seen my rolls of stomach fat?” 

 

“It’s your turn now,” Kwang Soo tells Soonyoung and his two sidekicks when they’re lining up preparation for the final clash.

“Don’t try to be a hero,” Seungkwan offers, “try to stay alive.”

“Try not to look like a selfish bastard while you’re at it, Kwon Soonyoung.”

“Speak for yourself, Lee Dokyeom.”

Soonyoung looks at the menacing, confident heroes. Try to stay alive? Tall order.

 

They’re all tight when the heroes approach, still holding on even when others are breaking off. They’re supposed to stick to the strategy the Running Man side came up with. And they’re sticking, like troopers, but it’s so painfully clear that it’s a losing battle and if they keep at it they’re going to be finished.

 

Which is not part of the plan.

 

“Split,” Seokmin hisses as he makes a dash for the remaining opening. Soonyoung is hot on his heels.

 

After tripping and scooting off to some corner or other, and checking that their nametags are on every two seconds, they’ve survived the first wave. There is no hope and purpose in trying to take heroes out. This is a war of attrition.

 

But the Running Man regroup again.

 

“They’ll get you if you try and run too early,” Seungkwan whispers, eyes still firmly locked on the heroes not too far away.

But then they’re closing in, closing in, closing in and they have got to make a move before the heroes make a meal out of them.

“I’ll go left,” Seungkwan tells Seokmin.

“Run,” Seokmin shouts, breaking free and sprinting through the opening that still separates the heroes. He goes right.

 

And they’ve done a good job not trying to be a hero and staying out of the way, but that has its limits. Soonyoung has managed to run away from trouble quite a few times, and Seungkwan is just saying under cover, looking non-intimidating.

 

Then Soonyoung is out. Seokmin curses mentally when he sees Soonyoung walking out of the play area when he’s trying to avoid being targeted by the heroes.

 

Lee Jihoon proves that there is wisdom in being small and short because people don’t see you. Or if they do, they promptly choose to disregard you as a threat. But then he’s gone too.

 

Seungkwan quickly realizes that there’s only two of them left—main vocal power for life—and then starts dancing some girl group dance. What girl group dance he frankly doesn’t even remember. Is it even a girl group dance? He doesn’t know, but he knows that he has to mug for screentime. And he does it in the one way he knows in this situation.

 

It’s only when Seokmin sees Seungkwan dancing some girl group dance that he cannot identify that he’s scanning the surroundings for signs of life and realizes that there’s just him and Seungkwan left. Except that Seungkwan is busy attracting attention to himself by frivolously dancing. Why? What the hell?? Sure, he’s not being a hero but he’s being a fool. Why? Oh god.

 

He’s trying to get screen time. And then he makes a huge show of sprinting across the length of the play area to distract from Seungkwan’s honestly ludicrous antics. It’s ludicrous because Seokmin knows that Seungkwan did not survive so much of the match by dancing girl group dances in the corner. What bull.

 

There’s absolutely no point in dancing and being outed the next second. So Seokmin successfully gathers the attention of multiple heroes who close in quickly. Quicker than Seokmin expects because he’s trying to get his short stubby legs to run faster—it’s one of the few times when he thinks of his legs as short and stubby. There’s no hope, there’s absolutely no hope, but Seokmin doesn’t intend to go out without a fight.

He doesn’t actually hear Kwang Soo yelling for him to give up because it’s hopeless, all there is now is the blood thrumming in his ears.

 

The next thing he’s processing is that a hero is giving him a hand, and helping him up. How nice. Though they wouldn’t be nice if he wasn’t already dead.

 

The job isn’t done. No, the job is far from done. The job is to squeeze all the goodness from Seungkwan being the last man standing, and Seungkwan has already risen to the challenge with relish, collapsing to his knees in celebration of the fact that he’s the last man standing.

And according to plan, the Running Man side is calling for a 1v1. Which of course the heroes will acknowledge. Hell, it’s 18v1. Having 18 people go in on one Boo Seungkwan is no fun and will look horrible.

Then trust Lee Seokmin to make a spectacle out of it, especially when the adrenaline has hardly come down. He won’t know the fervor with which he pumped Seungkwan up for the 1v1 which he must have known that Seungkwan was going to lose. Trust Seventeen to chant Boo Seungkwan’s and because of the situation, it catches on. Seokmin and Soonyoung are head cheerleaders for the Boo. All the need right now are some pompoms.

 

Of course he loses. But at least he doesn’t roll over and die, and against a hero, that is enough. Enough for him to get a hug from a Korean legend—Seokmin is jealous—and a round of applause, even though all he did was to let things go their destined path.

 

Soonyoung uses more aegyo before leaving in an attempt to leave an impression on Kwang Soo. Benefits of being a pop culture boy 101, knowing that Kwang Soo comes from Namyangju. He does genuinely like Kwang Soo though. And Kwang Soo treats him well, and hell, he ain’t going to complain about that.

 

“Thanks,” Seungkwan mouths, slapping Seokmin’s shoulder when they’re back in the van.

Seokmin flashes a smile, a genuine smile that reaches his eyes, “it’s Boo Seungkwan god of variety, right?”

“You’re the best.”
“I didn’t do anything.”

“Tsk.”

“It’s not the Lee Seokmin show after all.”

 

“The Running Man PDs are nice,” Seungkwan comments after seeing one too many gratuitous shot of Soonyoung cheering on the Running Man side. Bull, most of the time he wasn’t doing that, but of course the audience doesn’t need to know that. Soonyoung reacting to something that is said, well as if no one else reacted and it’s not like his reaction is that great.

“I think they like you too,” Seungkwan observes when Seokmin suspiciously appears in the middle of the shot on the Running Man side just before the start of the final round. It’s not the first time he’s appeared in the middle of a shot—though it’s all subtle stuff. For all he knows it could have been a coincidence.

---

 

Seventeen hoots with laughter when Seungkwan is busy imitating himself by dancing the exact same moves.

“You don’t know how much I was freaking out okay like what the hell were you even thinking!” Seokmin berates.

Then it’s Seokmin flying across the screen with the determination etched on his face and Kwang Soo yelling his name on national television.

“Oh he did??”

“Your name just got mentioned on national television.”

“Asking you to give up, no less,” Jihoon snarks.

Then he’s on the ground after being attacked by one, though they can all pretend that he was attacked by six heroes.

“I’m no national athlete okay,” Seokmin huffs.

 

1v1, 1v1, comes the chanting on television and they’re all chanting for Boo Seungkwan. All the hope rests of him and he’s busy dancing trying to get screen time. If this is anything to go by, they’ve succeeded.

Then from within, Boo Seungkwan, Boo Seungkwan, is the new mantra and Seokmin is busy hyping up Seungkwan like a soccer mom.

“Didn’t know you had that in you,” Jeonghan comments, “Lee Seokmin, soccer mom wannabe.”

“Did my face look that fierce?”

Soonyoung giggles, this is someone who doesn’t know how angular and chiseled his face is and how fierce it can morph into. Then again, he’s smiling 95% of the time.

But it’s all Boo Seungkwan, complete with all the funny antics and provocations. They even tried to build up suspense (and in the process prolonging the final battle) by pretending that Seungkwan was out in a flash when he wasn’t. It took two flashes. Which is a 100% better than a flash.

 

“Boo Seungkwan, the last man standing.”

“Yah, it should be the last boy standing. You’re not legal yet!”

“What the hell, Kwon Soonyoung!”