Chapter 13 – i regret (nothing)

2015

The new year hadn’t been kind to them so far. Everything was rushed and dull and fake. Taeyeon didn’t feel comfortable in her own body. Her career was rising higher than ever, the company was talking about a solo debut after her collaboration with Amber. She felt delighted like she was on the top of the world yet something wasn’t right. Last year’s events with Jessica came to surface once again during their Catch Me If You Can comeback and she felt sick at hearing all those blames.

In her opinion, Jessica was brave but selfish because she wanted it all: an idol life, to own a business and marriage. She had every right to have them but she put herself before the group’s interests. She cancelled practices and meetings on account of her fashion brand. She called it temporary but they all knew it was a lie. Taeyeon couldn’t let it slide. When she brought it up, Jessica called her jealous and a coward.

“Yes, I am,” she replied not missing a beat. If she had been true to her mother’s words and had done what her heart told her to, she wouldn’t have been there. She would have been with Baekhyun out there somewhere, kissing him on the top of Namsan Tower, holding his hand in the crowdy Myeongdong and shopping more couple item than they could wear. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not right.”

“Maybe,” Jessica agreed in a low voice and a soft, sad smile. “S.M. only cares about fame and money. Give them that and they’re happy. Risk that and they will turn their backs on you, too.”

The two girls, long-time friends were looking at each other for a few seconds. It was like a silent agreement, they both knew it. In fact, everyone who was trained in a money-maker entertainment knew it well.

“Good luck!” Taeyeon said genuinely as a friend and not her former leader.

Jessica nodded. “You, too.”

When she walked out of the door, it really felt like a farewell.

EXO’s new album was ier and darker than ever before. Exodus became a bestseller, Exo Next Door debuted as the most successful webdrama of the year and Baekhyun even got an offer to sing an OST. Taeyeon was so happy for them that she couldn’t see the details. Just like after the lull before the storm, soon black clouds covered the sky when the rumours came: Tao suspended his activities as an EXO member.

In the midst of chaos, both of them tried to stay optimistic. She never shed a tear before him, always kept up with her supportive smile and broke herself to make it work. She didn’t want to fail, to let down anyone who was beside them and she wanted to prove to those who weren’t that they were strong even in the darkest times.

14th April was a special day for lovers. Black Day was celebrated in several Asian countries to distinguish single and taken people. Those who were still searching for love must wear black clothes while everyone who had a relationship had to wear something colourful. While Taeyeon surprisingly didn’t have schedule for that day, Baekhyun had a fansign so they couldn’t spend it together nevertheless. They agreed not to make a big fuss about it, therefore she decided on a workout session for the morning and then a movie night with the girls to pass time. However, she was only in the middle of squat exercises when her ringtone loudly interrupted her.

“Hello?”

“Unni, you have to see this!” her hoobae, Red Velvet's Seulgi squealed excitedly but before Taeyeon could ask what? she already answered. “Check out some fansites of Baekhyun oppa.”

Taeyeon furrowed her brows in confusion but followed her instructions nonetheless. The first web