PART 4

Light brown irises stared into mine as they moved lower and lower, bathing me with a watchful demeanor. They seem to glow in the dark as they roamed up and down my body.

I couldn’t see. I couldn’t see anything that was happening in the pitch black room. All I was aware of was the frantic moans that were echoing off the four corners of the room.

“Stay still.” A body rested firmly on top of me and the soft mellow vanilla scent engulfed me. Whoever it was wasn’t clothed and so was I. Hair tickled my face as whoever it was placed her lips next to my ear. Something moved between my thighs and I realized the moans were mine.

“Tiffany…”A voice drawled lazily into my ear and my pupils dilated rapidly when the room lightened up and I saw that familiar face, dark red lipstick and short bluish grey hair.

My eyes shot open and my body contracted in shock as images of what I witnessed a few seconds earlier flashed in my head again and again. It was a dream. My chest heaved up and down as I swallowed huge gulps of air. It was only a dream.

“What the hell was that?” My raspy voice filled the silent room and I placed my palm on my left chest to feel my heart thumping hard against it. Every part of my body was sweating. My feet kicked my thick duvet off and I sat up in the dark.

“Did I just…” I placed a hand onto my eyes and shook my head. Did I really just dream of what I think I dreamt of?

“Tiffany you’re going crazy.” I sighed in exasperation. I lied back down onto my mattress and stared at the ceiling. My brain tried to trace back the dream but a huge chunk was already dissipating into nothingness. The only thing my mind replayed again and again was her face. Her face, only a few millimeters from mine, drenched with sweat.

“Oh my gosh…” My ears were burning furiously and I cupped them gently. They were hot, alright.

It was only 4 in the morning but I was absolutely wide awake. There was no way I could go back to sleep. Sliding off my bed, I turned the lights on and flipped my pink book to begin writing.

Dear Taeyeon,

            I just had a dream and it was about you. It was the first time you appeared in my sleep and I’m not surprised with the amount of time I’ve spent thinking of you. I hope you’re having a good night sleep over there.

I separated the tip of the pen from the book and read it again to find any mistakes. I had decided to just write that much and to not get into details about what the dream projected. It was my fourth entry in the book so far. I flipped back to the previous entries and offered it an alacrity look over. They weren’t the type that goes off the page but instead were just a few lines. But they all start with Dear Taeyeon.

I set my laptop to life and checked her message to only face the bitterness of what she had done to me.

“Seen and not a reply?” I pouted and went to her profile. She didn’t post much but when she does, they were all shots of her students smiling with a canvas.

“When will I have the honor to be posted by you too?” I talked to myself and resumed to search for her rare selfies and printed them out into tiny little images. I couldn’t wait to stick them onto my little diary.

I sought for my glue but it was nowhere to be found.

“What?” I chucked everything in my pencil case out onto my table and groaned at the disappearance of my glue.

“Jessica is going to pay.” My fingers pushed the printed out images into my pink note book and stuffed it into my bag. I was indeed pissed at her but my veins were pumping in enthusiasm to present the photos of Taeyeon to her.

-

We were in the girl’s bathroom once again as I put on my lipstick and retied my bun. Jessica was her usual self, leaning on the bathroom walls as a cigarette was placed between her teeth. She never lights it whenever I’m around and I used to ask her why she would just leave it there in . She would shrug and say that it makes her feel satisfied.

“Well Jessica, you wouldn’t believe what happened yesterday.” She lifted up a finger for me to pause.

“My plan worked?” The left corner of her lips lifted up into a conceited smirk.

“Yes. She came into my class and just looked around but she didn’t recognize me.” My lips held a bobby pin as my hands twirled my hair around into a bun. Jessica burst out laughing and I chose to ignore. I retracted the pin and continued.

“She smells so good Jess. Like oh my gosh.” I fished out my diary and gave the pictures to her.

“Take a look. I added her Facebook last night.” I elaborated and watched Jessica go through the mini photos.

“Jessica you should see her up close. She’s even prettier. Her eyes…” A dreamy smile crawled onto my face and I hugged the book into my chest lovingly. No words came from Jessica and when I faced her, she was giving me the disgusted face.

“Drop the look!” I barked and she rolled her eyes. I wish one day they drop down from their sockets.

“You know Tiff, for someone you’ve only met thrice, you’re pretty into it. I’ve never seen you go this…” Her eyes traced the photos and the book that was against my chest. “I’ve never seen you this crazy. What if she breaks your heart?”

I was actually bothered by what she said but I covered it with a joke.

“Woah since when did you turn this deep?”

“I’m just looking out for you! I mean from my perception, you don’t stand a chance. No offense.”

“None taken.” I knew she was right but I really wanted to get to know Taeyeon better. I didn’t like the topic anymore so I switched it.

“Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you. Remember you drew a T and a heart on my arm days ago? Taehyung saw it. You think he might mistaken it?”

Jessica’s eyebrows furrowed and after a minute she finally said something and somehow I already knew she would say it.

“Tiff don’t you think Taehyung’s into you?” She raised a quizzical eyebrow and waited for my response. So I guess I wasn’t the only person that noticed.

“That’s what I was thinking too but I’m not so sure. But he’s pretty obvious. He just asked me out for lunch a few days ago.” I confessed and Jessica smacked my arm.

“Something like that happened and you never told me about it!?” She half yelled and I told her to lower it down.

“I’m sorry.” I screeched and she was still glaring at me. I leaned in to kiss her cheek but she pushed me away.

“Ew Tiff don’t touch me.” I only laughed with genuine gusto and we both went to class.

-

 As I sit in class, I caught myself going back to last night. I never told Jessica about my dream and I’m not planning on doing it. She would probably tease me until I’m buried into my grave. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been thinking about it the whole day. Trying to memorize every single piece and bit of it so it won’t fade away.

“Tiffany!” Jessica screamed into my ear and I jolted. I sent her the what-do-you-want expression. I scanned the whole hall and realized half of the attendants were already exiting the hall.

“Since when did it end?” The professor even left.

Jessica flicked my forehead as her chin pointed to a guy standing at the door way. My eyes squinted and for some odd reason, dread filled me after seeing Taehyung.

“He’s waiting for you. I’ve been calling you for the past 10 hours but you were busy daydreaming.” Jessica declared dramatically.

I stood up and packed my belongings before paddling away to only turn around when Jessica called me.

“You forgot your little Taeyeonie diary.” She was deliberately teasing me but I was too lazy to give her a smart retaliation. I hugged the book along with other folders into my chest and headed for Taehyung. He’s been coming to me a lot lately to just talk and question about my day. He’s friendly and very nice, not to mention a true gentleman but I just wasn’t attracted to him.

“Tiff do you mind just going somewhere with me for a little? I have something important to say.” Our eyes met and I felt nothing. I gave him a nod and we started walking along the busy hall. His fidgeting never escaped my peripheral vision. His fingers were tied together and it doesn’t require a genius to tell he’s not comfortable. I held my gaze on the floor and that’s when someone bumped into my right shoulder and sent everything flailing onto the floor.

“Sorry!” The person hollered but never stopped to pick up my belongings. I felt my blood run stale when I saw Taeyeon’s photos had fallen out of the book and scattered everywhere.

“It’s ok I can do it!” I pushed Taehyung lightly when he stooped down to pick up my books. My legs squatted and my fingers grabbed for the photos before anything. Blood was pumping hard into my eardrums and I thought I’ve collected all of them when I spotted another one near Taehyung’s foot.

I dashed for it but I was too slow since it was already snatched from the ground. My eyes were wide and my hands were slightly trembling.

I can’t let my secret spill. I can’t-

“What’s this?” He asked and I shut my eyes. There it goes. I stayed frozen on the floor and he repeated his question. Louder this time.

“Tiffany what is this?” His tone was unreadable and calm. He leaned down to grab the remaining photos in my hand and I let him. I didn’t know what to do. What if he tells Taeyeon? I’m done for.

“Please don’t tell her.” I whispered but I doubt he heard me. I never looked up to meet his eyes but I could hear his ragged breathing. I never expected this to happen. I never expected my secret to spill this fast and worse, to Taehyung.

“So it was her all along? You’re insane.” He said in a shaky voice and I later felt the photos thrown onto me and soon after that, he stormed away, his loud footsteps drummed the floor. Students passing by stared at what just happened but none dared to ask.

My mind was empty as I gingerly picked up the mess and stood up to head for my next class. I breathed out a huge sigh.

I’m so sorry Taehyung. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.

-

Thank you for reading. I'm so sorry this is boring. It will get better soon I promise. x