It was just simply not fair,  Kyuhyun thought. He looked at the older girl in front of him. Her face was filled with happiness. Just an hour ago Victoria called him and asking to meet up.

“Kyuhyun-ah… Guess what, something good happened to me. He finally confessed to me. Can you imagine? Oh God, I still can’t believe it.” She said through her phone, half giggling, “Hey, let’s meet up. Since I’m on a good mood right now, I’ll treat you something delicious.” She hung the phone, still giggling.

And there he was, sitting in front of her in their favourite Korean restaurant. He knew that that day would come eventually. He cursed himself for being a coward. For not being able to tell her that he loved her. But who could blame him for being one? He knew that she had fell in love with another man, and not to mention his own bestfriend. And he could tell that Changmin loved her too although Changmin didn’t realize his feelings at the beginning. And he loved both of them. Him and her. So, how could he possibly tell her that he loved her too? The friendship that was built between them would be at stake. And so, he could just stay there, congratulating them, while his heart was hurting.

“Chukae, Qian-ah… Finally he decided to confess to you.” He told her.

“Awww… Gomawo Kyu…” She felt thankful, really. was filled with the sauce from Jjajangmyeoun.

“Aigoo, how old are you Qian-ah?” He quickly wiped with the tissue paper.

It was just simply not fair. No matter how much he kept thinking, he still couldn’t accept it. He met her first. He got to know about her first. And he was the one who actually introduced them both.  But why?

He remembered seeing her for the first time. People were gossiping about the new trainee. Leeteuk once said to the members, “Woah… So pretty. She was like the second Lee Na Young.” He knew that Leeteuk liked to exaggerate sometimes but he couldn’t help himself not to be curious.

 “Annyonghasaeyo oppa. Song Qian imnida.” Victoria greeted him one day with her broken Korean.

“O, Annyong Qian-ah.” So, she is younger than me, he thought, She is pretty. Looks like Leeteuk hyung didn’t exaggerate this time.

After a short while, they became closer. He didn’t know but he felt comfortable talking to her as if they had known each other for a long time.

“So, you studied at Beijing Dance Academy before? Woah, it’s the same with Hankyung hyung.” Kyuhyun told her one day.

“Ne, oppa. It was my dream to actually being accepted there. But, I figured that I would try a new challenge here.”

“In which year were you born, Qian-ah? You seem to have so much experience before.”

“1987. And you oppa?”

Kyuhyun was startled hearing her answer. He’d been treating her as a dongsaeng for a while now.

“Ehm..” He hesitated. He figured that she must had felt embarrassed if she knew that she was actually older than him, “Well, I guess then I’m not an oppa for you.”

“Wae yo?” She looked confused.

“ I was born in February 1988.”

She looked at him, feeling embarrassed.

“Mianhae. I didn’t know. Jeongmal mianhae Kyuhyun-ssi.”

Things got awkward then. She started to distance herself from him. He thought it couldn’t be that way so he approached her one day.

“Call me oppa.” He suddenly said.

She looked up to him, startled.”But I’m older than you.”

“I don’t care. Just call me oppa. Besides you don’t look like a noona at all.” He stated.

“Yah, call me oppa… oppa.. oppa…”

It was just simply not fair. Kyuhyun loved her.  He was helplessly in love with her. There was only her in his life. So why heaven decided to do this to him. He was trying so hard to accept them. They were his family, his best friends. He felt mad at himself sometimes because he couldn’t accept the fact that Changmin and Victoria were both in love. He felt mad because he kept thinking what it felt like to replace Changmin. Sometimes he even felt disgusted at himself for thinking to ruin their relationship. But who could blame him for falling in love with the Goddess of f(x)?

He knew he needed a break. So, that night he decided to tell Changmin.

“ I love her Changmin-ah.” Kyuhyun told him.

Changmin felt surprised. ”H-How— ?” he stuttered.

“I loved her since the beginning Changmin-ah, but no need to worry, I also know that she fell in love with you since the beginning and you loved her also. So, I don’t intend to step in between you guys. I love you too Changmin-ah, you know that, don’t you?”

Changmin just nodded.

“But I need a break from you guys, really. Give me some time Changmin-ah. I need to resolve my feelings.”

“Kyu, I never knew—“

“Of course you wouldn’t. You were too insensitive. But, I guess it’s just because me being smart not to get caught, right?” He smiled,”Could I ask you one thing Changmin-ah?”

“What is it?”

“Make her happy and please don’t tell her about this. I don’t want things to get awkward between us.”

It was just simply not fair. He knew he couldn’t possibly forget about her easily. Hell, he didn’t even know if he would be able to forget her someday. But, he just needed time for himself alone. He needed to learn to accept things the way they were. He realized, to love someone doesn’t mean he needed to have them. As long as she was happy then it’s enough. He knew that love came and went, so maybe one day when he finally ready to let go, he can accept another love in his heart.