It all started when I auditioned for Big Hit Entertainment at a talent casting in Los Angeles. I was 17 years old, senior in high school, and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had no huge goals and dreams like everyone else did. I saw the flyer taped onto the back door of my favorite little coffee shop downtown. It was that upcoming weekend and I had no plans, so I thought I might as well go and try out. I had no prior knowledge of Big Hit, and the only thing written on the flyer was, ‘Looking for singers, dancers, actors, ages 10-19.’ I didn’t tell anyone about auditioning, not even my family. So when they told me they wanted to fly me to South Korea for a second audition I didn't know what to do.  Obviously I had to do a little background information on Big Hit. Once I realized what was happening I thought, this could be an amazing opportunity, I had to do it. So I did it. I left everything behind, used the money I had saved up for college and bought a plane ticket. Once in Korea, I started to question on if I had made the right decision, or was I too naïve. I wasn't sure what exactly I was expecting to happen at this audition, but if I didn't get accepted into the trainee program, what was the worst that could happen? After my second audition I was brought into another room. There were two man standing in front of me. The older looking man wearing a suit began speaking in Korean, and I froze, not having a clue what he was saying. Thankfully the man to the left of him began to translate.

“Maya, before accepting you into our trainee program, we want to make sure this is what you want,” the second man stopped, looked over at me and then back at the first man. When I didn't answer, they continued. I waited for the translator.

“This is our first time accepting someone with no Asian descent, but we believe you have a lot of potential, and would love to have you train with us.”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “I would love to. Thank you so much.” But I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

*

As a trainee at Big Hit, they pay for mostly everything for you, so that you can devote most of your time to them. And when I say most of your time, I mean all of your time. My first priority was learning Korean, so I had class for three hours every day, and studied outside of class. Days were long and hard, but this was finally the one thing in my life that I really really wanted, so I tried as hard as I could, and I never thought negatively. Only a few of the other girl trainees were nice to me, the rest thought I was weird for wanting to be here. Then again, I didn't really blame them. My first friend was Toni, who immediately introduced herself to me in English. She was cute and small, and very sweet. Her hair was long and chocolate brown, and her eyes were so big, but in a good way.

“Wanna eat lunch with me today?” She asked sweetly on my very first day as a trainee. Of course I said yes.

“How is your English so good?” I asked her as we were walking to the local convenience store on our lunch break.

“I’m actually Filipino, but I grew up in the US!” She smiled as she held the door open for me.

“No way! That’s so cool!” I mostly just thought it was cool that there was someone like me; however, I still stuck out way more than she did.

“Yup! So how are you enjoying your first day?” Toni asked as we picked up some ramen and walked over to the seating area.

“It’s….different.” I searched for the right words. “But it’s new, and exciting.” I added. She smiled like she knew exactly what I meant.

“Well, don’t be shy, ask questions, and don't let anyone hold you back. I may be 15, but I’ve been a trainee for two years, so I’d like to say I know what I’m talking about.” I held my chopsticks, but remained looking at her, taking in her words.

“How long does one usually train for before they actually get to do something?” I wondered out loud. Toni finished chewing her ramen before answering.

“Hm. depends on the person. Some people take two years, some people take six, and some never get to debut. You probably will though, I don't see why they would take an American if they didn't have plans on putting you somewhere.” That didn't really make much sense to me, but I didn't question her about it.

**

After two months I knew the basics of the Korean language, but I wanted to learn it so quickly that I often pulled all nighters studying. One night I left at 2am, not expecting anyone to be there, but of course as I turn the corner staring down at my phone I collide with someone. I was so startled that my phone flew five feet away and made a loud smacking sound. I looked at the boy, his gaze making me even more embarrassed.

“Ah, I’m sorry.” I apologized in Korean, immediately bending down to pick up my phone, but of course he reached out at the same time I did. Our hands grazed across each other and he pulled his arm back slowly. When I picked up my phone he was still looking at me, and I couldn't read his expression. I quickly apologized again before running around him and out of the building. When the warm summer air touched my face, I closed my eyes, my heart still beating out of my chest. Why was that the most awkward encounter I’ve had? Why have I never seen him before, and why is he here at 2am? And why didn't he say anything? Maybe I should try harder to know everyone who trains here…unless he wasn’t a trainee. I made a mental note to ask Toni about it tomorrow.