Through thin, dark blue curtains covering crystal windowpanes weak sunrays sneak into a mute bedroom; dimly lighting up the few corners of the room they can reach. Brushing sleepily over pale, closed eyelids, dark, calm irises wander across the factions they gently lit up little by little as the Sun rises in this warm summer morning. Youngjae's gaze drops from those hidden honey orbs to those slightly part plump lips, walking across the boy’s cheeks still stained with dry tears; silently shuttling between Jaebum's closed eyes, parted lips and stained cheeks over and over again, just admiring him in deep dreams. Memories of early hours set on his mind as Youngjae stares a little too long at those dry tears, a thumb moving to his mouth, soaking it in saliva to wipe them away. His human’s skin is so soft and warm that Youngjae barely has to move his finger to erase those sad stains, yet the touch is so incredible nice that the King lets his hand mold to the perfect shape of Jaebum's jaw; detailing and admiring the unhuman features the young boy has as he caresses carefully the smooth skin of his human.

The Noble King demon will never say it out loud, let alone confess it to the boy, but since they met he have always thought this human look more like an angel than a mere mortal. Every centimeter of his human’s face is nearly to perfection, it has symmetry, harmony and humans are not meant to have them. It’s genetic, Youngjae knows. Just like demons do not look any closer to angels, angels could never look like demons; and human beings should not have the perfection of Holy creatures. However his human does and Youngjae dares to guess maybe Jaebum is predestinated to Paradise after this life ends, otherwise why would he have such celestial look if he isn’t? The king demon doesn’t know much about how things work on the Kingdom of Heavens but he is sure of one thing and one thing only: humans must not look like angels. And maybe it is because of this that Youngjae hopes secretly there is still a place in Heaven reserved for his human, because such angelic features must not end in Hell.   

There is an odd bitter taste on his mouth as Youngjae thinks about it, along with a baffling sensation of emptiness growing coldly in his insides and a mute whisper at the back of his head which says he actually does not hope for that at all. Maybe because Heaven is more than prohibited for him and even if he doesn’t really like to visit Hell the King could let himself go down there once in a while if the young boy happens to spend an eternity in the Kingdom of Fire. This is another thing Youngjae could never say out loud.

“What absurd things am I thinking?” the demon asks himself irritated, hand rushing away and back straightening as he sits properly upon the soft mattress, sharp eyes lying strictly on the nearest wall.

The hushed sound of Jaebum's calm breathing murmuring through the mute room haunts his unstable mind, calling out for him. And Youngjae know it doesn’t, Youngjae knows is just him wanting to look back at the human but he must not fall for the sick tricks of his poisoned mind. Fingers curls angrily on the smooth cover under his hands, gripping it as tight as he can, literally holding back onto them. The Nobel King is aware of how attached he have become to his human, he also is awfully aware of how the boy feels for him, and to be crudely honest he does not like it at all. He hates it, actually. The idiotic sensations the boy gives him, the fact that he looked for him last night, the baffling way he felt –feels- about the young boy, how his body craves to touch him… Just now he is even fighting against himself to not look back at the stupid sleeping boy! And so many more that Youngjae rather not remember now.

The evidences of how this human had changed him are severe, it gives Youngjae cold chills, they are the conclusive answer Youngjae has always known: this madness must to stop.

The only idea takes the blonde demon back to five days ago, and he doesn’t really need to remember how those days were because he stills feels the ache and that bewildering sensation of emptiness inside of him. They never left, and Youngjae hates them. Youngjae hates him and hates himself for not finding another way to suppress those sensations, to shut them down rather than see him, and feel him, and talk to him and… Him, that’s what Youngjae needs to make those stubborn sensations fade away. And it is so damn bad, so ed up, so terribly absurd and ridiculous and insane that Youngjae sometimes likes to think this is all just a nightmare and he will wake up soon, laugh it off and go on with his life forgetting about such awful dream.

But his eyes are turning away now, sharp gaze softening as they lie on those angelic features one more time. He is falling again, he is letting himself fall on his knees, hand moving back to caress the soft warm skin. He is losing a battle he started on his own, he has being fighting alone, because Jaebum never really tried to force any of his feelings on him, Jaebum hasn’t actually confessed any of them in the first place. Yet Youngjae has always known what was growing in the boy’s heart and still he did nothing to make it stop, demons have no power to act over human’s emotions, trying to prevent them it was just useless. And at first Youngjae thought it could be entertaining to play a little, just for fun, there was nothing harmful about a few kisses, mischievous smiles and suggestive comments. But Youngjae does not remember when it was that things started to get out of control, that his body suddenly moved on its own, that his heart felt as it pleased, that his mind played with him instead. And suddenly Youngjae found himself fighting against himself, against what the boy caused on him, against what he wanted but shouldn’t wanted, against what he didn’t wanted to want but was oh so intensely  wanting.

The King has been losing since then and every second he spend with the young boy, every look he takes at him, every kiss he steals, every touch, every word which fall from those lips make him lose a little more. And for some reason Youngjae knows he is not doing his best, because he is staring at those plump lips. He isn’t fighting like he knows he can, because he is leaning down, feeling the boy’s warm breathing clashing gently against his hungry lips. It seems as if he isn’t trying to win, because his lips lie fully against Jaebum's sweet mouth and he is kissing him deliberately, delighting himself with the wonderful sensation of having the young human close, so close. Breathing in his unique scent, savoring the mind-blowing way he tastes, feeling his warmth melting his icy flesh, having his inside fluttering anxiously, excitedly, fading away the disgusting memory of emptiness and loneliness. And Youngjae feels just so good like this, so full, so completed, so at ease… as if he is losing on purpose. Completely on purpose.

Probably he is indeed doing it on purpose, because when he pulls away and finds those dark brown orbs looking sleepily back at him, his heart thumbs madly fast against his chest and he curves his mouth in such pleased smile. Like if it nothing really matters for him any longer, like if the only thing which is actually important for him it is the way Jaebum blushes, a mild rose color creeping through his smooth skin, as teeth sink restless on that plump bottom lip before they part to call for him in such cute, groggy tone.

-Demon? W-what are you doing here?- the boy asks, voice low and unsteady; eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Realization hits him hard then, the rational side of his brain snapping out of some sort of spell he had fallen along the burdensome train of unnecessary sensations and the endless maze of convoluted thoughts. His rigid body rushes to move, sitting straight upon the bed, gaze fixed on the other side of the room yet again; feeling curious eyes looking at him even more confused than before and the King curses himself mentally for being so weak and stupid.

-Do you not remember what happened last night?- He wonders through clenched teeth, voice sounding more harsh of what he meant.

-Ummm…- Jaebum thinks silently behind him, and Youngjae grips tightly the dark fabric of his shorts because there is this damn desire of looking back and he feels like walking in ing circles and he must not do ty things again.

-I do remember… until s-some part.- Jaebum comments carefully, somewhat embarrassed. –I don’t remember how I ended up on my bed though.- He adds in a low whisper, which the demon hears clearly.

-You passed out, I guess.- Youngjae tells with a heavy sigh, arms folding uncomfortable above his chest. –While we were kissing.- He clarifies, smelling in the air how even more embarrassed the human feels now. And the corners of his mouth twitch to form a smirk.

-That still doesn’t answer how I ended up on my bed.- Jaebum mumbles in a kind of defensive tone, but the King knows how nervous and ashamed he feels so he let it slide off.

-I carried you here, isn’t it obvious?- He asks sarcastic, lips finally smirking as the smell of shame tickles stronger on his nose.

-But how? I mean, this is my friends’ house. Did they just let you in?- the black haired boy asks yet again, and the demon thinks he is being too chatty giving to the fact that he just woke up.

-Do you mean those three out there? I didn’t speak a word to them, but they still lead me in here.- Youngjae explains, voice monotonous as usual. –The short one was being utterly annoying, I had to push him out the room.- he tells with hint of mockery in his tone, because he enjoyed doing that all too much.

-Ugh, Jackson must be so mad…- Jaebum murmurs for himself, although Youngjae hears it yet again and honestly doesn’t care. -Did they… see us kissing?- the wonders uneasy, and the King can smell the fear.

-Well, judging by how the short one was screaming he will kill me because I “assaulted” you, I think they did.- Youngjae says with amusement, just because he find greatly funny how furious that one boy was when he saw them in such position.

“Maybe he is interested in my human?” the blonde demon wonders himself that only possibility. Suddenly the amusement it’s over, the smirk on his face fades away and a new unknown sensation grows in him.

-Oh no…- Jaebum murmurs astonished then, sitting up abruptly on the mattress; the air around them filling with worry. –Please tell me you are mistaken and they didn’t see anything.- He pleads, fervently, with urge to hear that it must be lie.

But it isn’t, and Youngjae cannot understand why suddenly his human is so terribly nervous and uneasily afraid.

-Why are you so concerned?- He inquires, head tilting to the left, still not looking back the boy but wanting to hear his answer loud and clear.

-Because…-Jaebum starts but he never ends, words get push down his throat and a tense silence is all he gives to the blonde demon.

-Because?- Youngjae insists in a low, dark tone; demanding him to speak now. There is this corrosive doubt spreading fast under his impatient skin, making it unbearable for him to not know the truth.

However the human behind him stays silent still, hiding his reasons to ask for the thing he pleaded, hiding the truth Youngjae needs to know. And that angers him, it boils his blood, it makes him irritated and bother and this feeling of not knowing is so ing unpleasant. Because if the boy doesn’t want to tell him then it is surely something really important, majorly important, and Youngjae cannot believe he is hiding it from him. What can this possibly be?

-What is it?- Youngjae asks, insists again, his dark tone still demanding an explanation.

-It is nothing important.- Jaebum finally says, but it is such an awful lie and the King is not up to play around.

Facing the young boy again Youngjae slowly leans down, his dark irises staring directly into those brown orbs, feeling his clam breathing brushing against his anxious lips, noses touching mildly and the boy trembles expectant as his hands places at both sides of Jaebum's legs, trapping him, and the Noble King has to bite down a teasing smirk.

-What is it?- He stress every word in a silent hiss, delighted by the closeness, the sound of his human swallowing thick in uneasiness, the feeling of his eyelashes fluttering and his numbing scent and warmth. Is all so marvelous, so dangerously marvelous.

-I don’t want them to found out about you and me… about what we have, no, about what it seems we have but we don’t… because you and I are not we, and now they must think so and… how do I explain them?- Jaebum confesses, voice soft and troubled; his dark irises glowing with honest worry.

-You don’t have to explain anything.- Youngjae tells him, sounding slightly defensive in his opinion.

-I do have to, they are my friends. You might not understand, but this are the kind of things I must tell them.- Jaebum sighs heavily, tormented, feeling so trapped and restless.

-Then lie.- the King comments, not putting much thoughts into it, because the way his humans feels is just so distracting and uncomfortable. He just wants it to stop.

 -I can’t lie either, they know me too well.- Jaebum denies that possibility, because even if he can lie to Mark and Bambam there is no good way to fool Jackson and Jaebum doesn’t even know what he will do when he face his short friend.

-What do you want me to say then?- Youngjae hisses bother, annoyed by how the boy feels and the fact something like this is actually giving them troubles.

-Nothing! There is nothing at all! Not a damn thing!- Jaebum exclaims irritated, staring into those deep black eyes which look back him surprised. –I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to rise my voice. It’s just… why did you even came last night?- He asks, voice so frustrated and overwhelmed.

-What do you mean why? I told you the first day we met: you don’t give me orders.- Youngjae smirks mockingly evil, pushing to the deepest of his head what happened a while ago, hiding those odd sensations, because the boy must never know about them. He must pretend nothing ever happened.

-Then, why didn’t you show up for five days?- Jaebum wonders curious, an eyebrow rise doubtful of his statement.

-Because I have a Kingdom to take care of, remember?- the demon asks ironic, the grin on his face getting wider; watching how the young human smiles calmly at him.

-I’m glad you haven’t disappear, though.- Jaebum comments, eyes shining at completed ease; surprising the King. –Those days without you… were pretty rough.- he tells, a weak laugh trailing off his words.

-Oh, well, you cannot get rid of me easily. So, do not say such stupid thing again.- Youngjae orders, voice calm and tone harsh enough. Yet he watches those lips curling in a wider smile, in a warmer smile as those brown orbs stare at him with such emotion the demon cannot identify precisely.

-I missed you.- Jaebum whispers, is a secret he shouldn’t be saying but he does, and Youngjae's heart beats in a way he doesn’t really like because that could only mean bad news.

-Can I hug you?- Jaebum asks politely, although his tone is anxious, his gaze is longing and Youngjae can feel his heart shudder, thumbing just like his own and he doesn’t like it at all.

But the blonde demon doesn’t deny it when Jaebum asks, and he doesn’t prohibit it when Jaebum leans in, and he doesn’t push Jaebum away when the boy wraps his strong, warm arms around his anxious body. Youngjae doesn’t like it at all, being embraced like this, feeling him like this, getting drunk in his scent, melting in his arms, being burned by his warmth. Youngjae hates it now, hands lifting, wrapping around the black haired boy's torso, hugging him back tightly –so tightly- bringing themselves more against each other, enjoying finally having him this close.

Youngjae is falling again, is losing a little more. And Youngjae despises it, despise him and himself but just for now, just for this instant, Youngjae doesn’t mind and let it be.

Just for this moment, Youngjae thinks it’s okay to fall and lose a bit more.

Not wanna spoil anything but this and next chap are one of my favs because they are so sweet and emotionals omg~

Hope you enjoyed today's chapter!!! ^^ I think we got to know a lot more of what little demon Youngjae is feeling and boy, isn't he so into Jaebum? Its almost embarrassing (?) :P 

Anyways, I love Youngjae's blonde hair I will never shut up about it~ I'm glad you all do too! :D I think some people didn't like Youngjae's blonde hair back in Stop Stop It era (which I did love as much) so I'm glad everyone actually loves this blonde tone on babyJae!! ^^

As usual thanks for reading and commenting! Sorry if I dont answer you guys, I'm super lame at chatting, you dont want me to answer actually >.<