I love listening to pianos. I love just sitting there in front of a stage, and listen to him playing. May be because i feel like everything is clam and perfect under this sort time of peroid. It just makes me clam and peacefull.

May be the reason is because he’s the one who’s playing on the piano. Maybe the whole liking is because of him.  Since i was a little girl he always played on the instrument not missing a day, i had to sit next to him, watch him doing it, because i wanted to be his friend.

Times past by and being his friend wasn’t enough anymore. I wanted to be more than his friend, but i knew he would choose his piano over everything. His time, his attention, his passion was only for the piano.

And i was okay with that. He was a genius after all. He was born to play on it.  And that was just fine for me. Because after all… not everyone could sit next to him and listen from close by. Noone could get close to him except me. I was special for him, and i knew it. I don’t need anything else… except his heart, what i have no chance to get.

My friendship with Taehyun started with a horrible event. We met on a funeral at the first place - on yours. Our half of parents died on the same day, had thier funeral on the same place, and date. These unfortunates events brought us together, and even if i was sad and cried my eyes out, i was greatfull as well. I met my best friend, and my first love on that day after all. He was always there by my side, when i needed him, and i was there for him as well.

But i had things going on with me, i could never-ever tell him. I had my secrets, and he had his own as well. We knew where the line is with our privite life. And let me tell you there is some things in life you just don’t want anyone to know. Like your dad basicly is an alkoholist, and you have to worry about what to eat on the next day because the fridge was empty and all the money is gone at the same time. But you just keep it for yourself. In the life of teenagers, noone needs to deal with the real life problems, may others have as well.

And under this time of peroid He did become someone. Someone i couldn’t reach anymore. Witch made me sad. And this is how our friendship went down into something… like we where strangers to each other. We stopped talking, and even if i tought about Him every day, a knew he was to busy to even think about me. 

But i did not want to stay sad because of Him afer a while so i tried to live my life. Get over my selfpity and stay cool.

Because teenagers just want to stay cool. Cooler than the rest. And i tought about myself as one of the coolest ones. Not because i had that much talent, not because i was that popular or famous. I was being me, I knew what i wanted, and i was proud of it. Not everyone in my age could tell they know what they want from life. I had my dreams, and i knew what i have to do to get there one day.

One day I’ll be a femous writer, i will be the best selling author on the world. That was my dream. And if it’s not working out, i still can open my own caffe shop one day, and be happy about it. Because every sucessful person have  a Plan B on thier list. If it’s not working out, i’ll be fine with that one as well. I would like to do both anyway. And let’s be honest, if i could do both in the same time, wich is Plan C, would be the perfect combination.

But darling you can’t get everything in life – would you say. You would be suprised what your daughter is capable if she puts her mind into it. I was suprised as well. Believe me, Mom. Let me start it on the very first day. I don’t want you to miss anything, so i have to think about it a lot, because you are gone like… 20 years now. This is why i miss you on this day. This is why i am writing this right now, because there where times i wanted to tell it to somebody but i couldn’t. I had nobody, because dad doesn’t care at all, really.

To be honest He thinks i’m crazy and i need help, and i won’t blame you if you think the same way. because what i gonna tell you now, is pretty much out of worlds, and i’m not even kidding when i say this.

If you are ready, then let me begin, if not… let’s just say i’m fine, and there is nothing intresting happening in my life. Let’s say, i have a husband, two kids, and i’m happy.

But if you want to hear the whole story… you want to hear every  details about all the carzy things went trough my life before i got here, to write this letter to you… you have to keep reading, Mom. And i hope you will.

It’s started to rain again.  I tought while starring at the window… no one was outside on the courtyard today, not even a soul who had to play football by the force of the PE teacher. My school was really quiet on that day, i don’t know why, because i never ask it. I tought it was one of those day, when everyone has the „keep it quiet” attitude on the same day. Well i shouldn’t be suprised we had some rough exams coming in a couple of days, so noone really had a chance to sleep properly. We just wanted to got trough the day, without falling asleep or get a detention just for this once.

But if you have red hair in a school where everyone has brown, and likes to wear beanie as well, there is no way – even if you are that pretty  - you can get trough the day without any trouble. And by trouble i mean… i started to see him on this day. It was the very first day i noticed him.

To be honest i didn’t know it was a Him or Her or if it was a person at all because… at this time He was only a little point in the corner of my dream „screen” – this is how i call it, because i have no better words for it. You know how clumsy i am sometimes.

So, in that dream, i was in a forsest full of beautyful butterflies and trees made of diamonds. It was a daydream, you can tell. With rainbows, but without the unicorns because i just don’t understand why are those animals even excist in the human fantasy. They are just wierd to me. So i just had those little shiny gold butterflies. Because it’s less wierder than unicorns.

I just walked around, enjoy the view and then i saw that black point from far, far away. I didn’t pay to much attention to it, because let’s be honest… diamond trees and gold butterflies.

I got trough the next day, went home had a little chat with dad and fell asleep very fast at nighttime, but i truly never excepted this to happen again, on the couple of day after that. The point appaired without any sing, but now it was bigger. I satrted to worry, because let’s be honest it could be a sing that i have a brain tumor or something so i have to be carefull with this.

I mention this to dad on the next day, and he being Dad, said i worry to much and have to much imagination. Well… He got me on that. I believed him – i wanted to, really. And truth to be told that point haven’t showed up for a very long time… so i totally forgot about it until it happened again, but this time, i saw a figure from far, third time and it became something. I realized it’s not even a point, it’s a person, with legs, arms, and a head. Probably with everything a human body have but i could not see it yet.

Obviously i wanted to get closer but i couldn’t. I had an invisable wall in front of me, and it did not let me to walk closer, no matter how hard i tried. This person was the only one here, who could come closer, but he or her had no intuition to do it. Not tonight. He came closer then last time, and don’t want to get to me yet.

I guessed i have to wait for him or her. I have to wait, and i have to dream about different things, on different nights, and one day before i know, that person will stand next to me, and i’ll know it then. I will know why he or her is there, how this person looks like.

This is what I hoped for.

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So guys, this is the very first chapter. I really want to know how is it. What do you think about it. I would be happy to hear your opption about it. :D 

Please leave a comment below! :D