-Yujin’s POV-

I wasn’t really sure about what I was feeling.. I was confused with my own feelings.. I couldn’t deny the fact that those scars of first love are still there but deep down I was saying do I really have to live my life miserablly like that thinking about him all the time when he doesn’t even know nor care about it ?? and at the same time Changmin was taking a big part of my thoughts these days.. I was really having fun with him, we started to see each other sometimes in the breaks and he was sweet all the time.. but I felt like something is missing or at least it wasn’t what I am actually dreaming about.. At the same time Kyuhyun who was once the one I doesn’t like the most became now one of my closest classmates even our friends noticed that and started teasing him about it.. Aish this is really frustrating..

-Kyuhyun’s POV-

Aaahh Sometimes I just can’t explain how much do I really like her.. She just took a big part of me.. I think about her every single day, every single minute but I just don’t know how  to tell her or how to show It.. Sometimes I feel like she already feels me but I am just really scared if I say it out loud she would reject me or Our friendship would break.. I can see it clearly, She’s kind of intrested in Changmin and I swear about it with all what I have because the way she admires him isn’t the same with all the guys she knows.. Maybe she herself isn’t even aware of it but I know her to the fact that I know she already likes him.. Guess this is the real reason why I am afraid to tell her.. 

-Skip-

-Yujin’s POV-

Days passed and our next exams are near.. So it means I’ll be in the same class with Kyuhyun and Changmin another time.. I figured out that I was really crushing about Changmin this time like for real because I didn’t even think about my first love at all when I was with him.. He was someone who would make me laugh endlessly, He was cheering me up encouraging me and all.. I remember there was a day he complimented my outfit and I couldn’t feel my feet from nervousness and blushing.. I was happy about it and deep down I was hoping that he would feel the same.. I can’t really say that It’s a real love but Its some kind of a big crush and admiration..

I finally decided to Open up to Jiyeon about what was I thinking.. I really needed to tell it or I’ll expload.. I took the chance when we were talking about the people we got to know this year and how fun It was to make new friends and I said :

« OHH I really wish you were with me in those special sessions I study well and besides I have fun a lot » I said nervously

« hahaha I feel like something is coming after this words.. » She teased.. I tapped her arm playfully and laughed

« Aish why do You know me this much ?? »

« Oh come on just spill it out.. »

« Okey I think I am having a crush on Changmin.. » I said shyly

« Ahaaa Bingoo !! Told you there’s something coming.. »

« Aish stop it already.. So what do you think about him ? Can we actually fit together or can he like me back you know ? » I questioned

« Well, To tell you the truth I am not really sure about that.. He seems nice but He’s a little bit full of himself.. If you want my anwser honestly I really think Kyuhyun is better than him » I was shocked with her comment to the point that I was coughing like there’s no tomorrow… She was just laughing at me until I gained my words back

« What the hell are you saying ?? There’s now way.. Kyuhyun and I are just friends you know »

« Well I know that but It’s clear Kyuhyun is crushing on you and all of us know that but you don’t or you’re blind by your crush for Changmin that you can’t see it » I thought she was kidding me at first but she was talking for real I guess..

« I don’t really know but I am not thinking of anything right now .. Aish you confused me.. I don’t think it’ll be that easy to fall in love anyway with Changmin or with Kyuhyun or with anyone else.. »

« Yujin listen to me carefully. I really understand you and all but just remember all what I am going to tell you. You will never find the love you need if you have not taken the proper time to validate yourself. Validating yourself takes time. You need time alone to maneuver through all of your doubts and all of your frustrations so you can make it to a place where you are proud of who you are. You need time alone to figure out; what makes you happy, what makes you sad and you need time understanding why. Once you have made it to a place of clarity and truly understand your worth scars and all, then you are ready to set your sights on love. The goal is to find someone who reminds you of how much you already love yourself. Happiness comes from within. You cannot find what you need on the outside if you have not looked on the inside first. Loving yourself has a huge influence on whether or not you will ever have the right kind of love that you will need one day. Loving someone else will always take courage but, loving yourself first and foremost should always take periority. »

« Keurae jiyeon-ah.. I realised that actually that’s probably when I’ll find the right one for me »

« and plus, no matter how much you hide it I know that your past is haunting you sometimes.. I just want to tell you that you are allowed to remove toxic people out of your life. You are allowed to be happy. This is your life. This is your one chance. No matter how long this person has been in your life, no matter how many memories you have shared with this person, there is no space for negative energy. Life happens, People leave, Seasons change and so do people. Wake up every morning with a grateful heart. You got a second chance another day to start over.. Leave whatever or whoever that is not benifiting you behind. Be happy why not?? “ She said reassuring me..

“You’re one of a kind for real my jiyeon.. thanks god you’re always with me” I said hugging her tightly..

-SKIP-

I let go about all what was bothring me those day and decided to focus on my studies this period of time because It’s getting harder day after day and I have to succeed the year no matter what..

It was our first day of exams. I went out from my house going to my college and the moment I reached the place I saw Changmin and Kyuhyun standing together waiting for me to come.. I was like “what is that?? I need to be focused you know” they both approched and said:

“OHH here She comes!!” Said Changmin first.. I couldn’t help but to smile

“Morning Yujin’ah” Said Kyuhyun cheerfully

“Morning for the both of you” I smiled at them

“We just wanted to cheer you up before we go to class.. We know you can do It..” said Changmin and Kyuhyun winked at me while whispering lower enough just for me to hear it but not Changmin

“I have faith on you and I trust you.. You’re going to pass it” I felt my face blushing but I pretended that nothing happened and I went with them to our class..

Our exams went smoothly and we were all working really hard trying to save the semester… Today we were passing the exam in the afternoon and it was like half an hour since we started to work until we heard someone shouting from the outside.. We were shocked and we were scared because It was the first time something like this happened.. The teacher came and said that Someone who works in our campus just died and his co-workers were shoked by the news.. He reassured us and we just kept on working on our exams papers until it’s over. I was the first one who went out from the classroom after I finished and since we were passing in the first floor I was just standing and watching the situation from above because I really get terrified when I hear about death and all.. I saw many people standing in front of the man who died’s office and it was heartbreaking. I was in deep thought when a hand tapped my shoulder I turned to find Changmin. He asked about my exam and all..

“You don’t look that right you know” he stated

“I am just afraid to go downstairs” he laughed

“If you want you can go with me you know” I shook my head but I don’t really know why.. Hell I was dumb like really dumb because hello there I have a crush on you and this is my chance to get closer to you but I just refused that.. He went downstairs and left me there.. Just at that moment another hand tapped my shoulder only to find that It was Kyuhyun. He noticed that I wasn’t looking that well and said:

“Is it about you exam or about that man who died” I didn’t answer him and just found myself holding his arm like a little child and saying

“Take me downstairs with you.. I am really scared” He looked shocked but I didn’t care anyway..

The moment I went with him I felt safe.. It was my first time having this kind of feeling with a guy.. I felt like a little girl who’s holding her daddy’s arm.. I felt reassured protected and all the fear vanished.. It was like a magic touch that made me feel better at the moment.. It was some kind of a weird feeling that I experience for the very first time even with that EX I had never felt like that..

-Kyuhyun’s POV-

I finished my exam heavily after we heard that shout.. I saw Yujin going out and she didn’t look that right.. I handed my paper to the teacher and watched her while Changmin was standing with her offering to go downstairs with her.. OH GOD !! Please no pleaaaaaaaaaseeee !!! aha She refused niahahaha.. I approched her to ask her what’s the matter only to find her holding my arm and hiding like a child saying take me downstairs with you.. I was breathing heavily and I was blushing as hell.. Thanks god I was wearing a hat to cover my face and the poor was walking with slow motion behind me.. But somehow I felt her a little bit more comfortable.. Oh God !! I really adore her how I wish she’ll always be holding me like that But who cares the point is she’s feeling better right now.. We reached the college gates only to find Jiyeon there and I swear i saw her smirking at Yujin.. Is it really What I am thinking ??