Warm faint touch on my cheek woke me up. Unknown fingers brushed my bangs, tucked my hair on my ear. My eyebrows furrowed, I was completely woke up right now. But because of the constant throbbing headache, my eyes still hard to flutter open. Even thought it was just a faint pain.

 

Namja voices shouting at each other filled the room. I presumed I was inside the bedroom, because the soft fluffly bed and a warm blanket coated my body. I put my ear in aware.

 

“I SWEAR LAY IF SOMETHING HAPPEN TO HER I’LL-“ the husky furious voice shouted to someone, someone called “Lay”. And I knew, the owner of the voice was him, Kai.

 

“Enough Kai. Let’s go.” Mr. Wu’s voice replied him. A ruckus had been happened. I knew, I could feel it. This room were filled by all of them. The temperature seemed stuffy.

 

Gradually, a tap of walking people going outside the room, the door croacked open. And the air seemed more loosen up. I stayed in my froze position. Because the hand stayed still on my cheek. A hot breath crashed near my ear. He was whispering to me.

 

“Noona, I miss you. A lot.”

 

Then with that simple voice, all his the warmness gone after that, he also stand up and walking outside. I held my tears as much as possible, so it wouldn’t streaking outside. Sobs choked in my throat. I buried myself deeper into the blanket. A sudden realization, a new, yet old memories floating in my mind. My voice inside replied him.

 

I miss you too, Sehun.

 

“Noona! Palli, kyungsoo hyung prepared a special deer sandwich for us! Kris hyung caught it this noon!” The frost white- haired boy was calling someone, someone who really looked like me, same face, same body, to come down from the tree. Her hand dancing on the book, sketching an illustration for today story. She nodded unconcerned.

 

“NOONA!” He shouted again.

 

“Eohhh, prepare to catch me-“ She replied and abruptly jumped from the 2m high tree. Thankfully, even though Sehun didn’t really pay attention, he managed to catch her.

 

She instantly get off from his bridal hold. Ruffled the younger one’s hair cheerfully. His face still blank, widened at the moment. But a smile spreaded all over his face after that. Oh boy, he couldn’t even get mad to her.

 

“Yah, what are you waiting for? Kaja.” She called again, gesturing Sehun to follow her who was left behind. Sehun finally woke up from his daze, and pacing up, sling his hand around his beloved noona’s neck, walking together to the house.

 

My figure, my transparent figure, slowly disappeared. After standing right next to tree, watching all of that moment. Between someone, who really looked like me, with Sehun. All the green scenery, the hills, blacken out. As the the transparent figure of me vanished by the streaking hot tears coming constantly. The darkness engulfed me. I drowned in sadness. The ache. The memories. My brain couldn’t recognize myself anymore, where am I, didn’t find any of my consciousness, was in the reality, the dream, or the memories.

 

A smell of fresh brewed tea woke me up. Probably in the morning. But I wasn’t really sure, because the lights shining too bright into my eyes. I stretched my stiff body, the ritual I had always done everyday. A silent groan escaped my mouth when a crack sound came from my muscles. My eyes finally fluttered open, welcomed by a dark examining gaze from a tall intimidating male.

 

Tao.

 

My mind whispered to myself. Oddly, I recognized him. Memories sliding back and forth, but with no painful feelings anymore. The pictures of the cry-baby boy dancing in my head. I titled my eyes, took a better view of him. Wait, he’s not a boy anymore. Something, something…about his aura, screamed a different vibe. Marculine sandalwood scent ticked of my nostrils. He’s not a boy anymore.

 

He broke the staring contest first, turned around his body, ready to come out from the room. But my next, mere, words stopped him.

 

“Thanks ZiTao.” I mumbled. He’s approaching me with surprised gaze. He stopped right in next to the bed. Staring at me. I gave him a smile.

 

“Do you remember me?” He asked me confirming. I paused for two seconds, then nodded once. Inhaled a pit of air. His eyes grew wider.

 

But to my surprise, he suddenly hugged me with in the next second. Tight but in a comfortable strength. I gasped, shocked by his bold movement. But I think this is normal for someone like him. Based on my her memories. My hand patted his back after many consideration dancing in my head measuring the pro and contra.

 

I decently pushed his body after 10 seconds hugging me. His face transformed into a sunny bright one. Childlike grin plastered all over his face. Some part of me being poured by blessed and relieved feelings. Meeting him again. But the other half part of me still remained unknown with this person. He’s still a stranger in my eyes.

 

 

“I’m so glad. You don’t know how much I miss you Sujin-ah..” He whispered softly to me. I stared back into his gaze, unable to reply him.

 

“But…I’m not Sujin.” My face bent down. The other same face yet different person lingered in my mind. This Sujin girl. Trapped in my thoughts. He was astounished. The realization hit him really hard.

 

“But…how then..you could remember me…” Those sharp eyes whined in confusion. Demanding for an answers. I tore my eyes from his gaze, fell silent. A tug of guilty feeling crept into my heart. Even though I don’t know what’s to be guilty for.

 

“I’ll explain later, okay? And uh..can you do me a favour? Could you please called Luhan for me?” I asked him for help, hoping he would be patient and understand.

 

“You remember Luhan too? Who else do you remember?” He asked again.

 

“Well, I remembered You, Luhan, and Sehun so far….” My mouth replied him, mumbled.

 

“The others? Do you remember them too?” He asked again as he kneeled in front of me. I shook my head weakly.

 

“No. Completely blank...” A disappointment frown showed in his face. But he instantly covered it with an understanding smile. He nodded and got up from his postion.

 

“I’ll call him right away.” He marched towards the door. But he suddenly stopped and turned around. My eyes shifted back to him. Confused.

 

“Oh by the way, nice to meet you Sekyung-ah.” He winked at me charmingly. My eyes widened. With that, he came out from the room. While a warm happy feelings spreading inside my heart.

 

Nice to meet you too Zitao. I replied as small smile blooming in my face.

 

I sipped the last gulp of my Oolong tea. The warmth successfully spreading into all over my veins, warming up my feelings and my mood. I had talked to Luhan. Just a few minutes before. It was short, because I knew there’s nothing to said verbally to him. He already knew in a blink of eye anyways, just by peeking into my head. I exchanged few words to him, asking him to tell Tao and Sehun to keep this as secret for a while. I’ll tell all of them by myself. But now, All I need is just a moments by myself for a while. I’m glad Luhan still understanding as ever, well, based on my her memories in my mind.

 

He softly reassuring me that everything is going to be alright, patted my hair. He knew how frustrated my head, mixed with another person’s mind. My eyes b into tears, seeing how kind he was to a stranger like me. I knew the way he acted towards her, towards Sujin. He was kind, treasuring her like his own sister. But, his kindness to her was different with his warmness to me, he didn’t see me as Sujin. And I felt so thankful to him because of that. My mind was so exhausted with all those looks that the others gave to me. As if I’m her.

 

My lips curled into a small smile, then get up from the bed. The corner of my eyes caught a glimpse of the sunlight, streaking futilely passed the thick grey curtains. I brought my feet stand up for my hands cleave apart those curtains. Heavenly lights shone on my skins, sparkling, like a gleaming diamonds. I felt so refreshed.

 

I looked around, manly scents spreading all over the room. White sheets, silver thick blanket, round desk lamp, wooden cupboard, high ceiling, large windows, all of these, screamed a murky aura. Someone was here. Grim feelings erupted from this room. A wild rose garden showed on the field down the window. I’m in the second floor.

 

I remembered today, is 1^st of July. The first day of long summer break. I also remembered that all of my friends had their own schedules. Excluded me. Not that I care.

 

A soft grumble came from my stomach. Oh right, I haven’t eat since last night. I mumbled, the digital clock showed “11.34 a.m.” With its bright red light. Noon is coming nearer.

 

Speaking of food…

 

“KRIS! SUHO!” I gasped. I haven’t feed them!

 

My feet rushed to the door, didn’t forget to grab my bag which magically lying on the chair next to the cupboard. They must be starving right now. The worry feelings eating me inside. They’re my best mate since I lived alone. I couldn’t stand them suffering.

 

I ran downstairs, just to see a questioning gazes from 12 people. I just gave them a quick smile and marched towards the front door. Didn’t catch a glimpse of Kai.

 

“Where are you going?” Two voices stopped me just a meter before I grabbed the door. One in front of me, another one beside me. I gasped by the presence right in front of my eyes. Kai.

 

The heart inside me started to accelerated, thumping uncontrollably like a speeding car. Breathing became a hard task for me. Another strike of pain shot my head in instant. This is, oddly, just because the figure in front of me.

 

“A..arrgh..” I moaned, the pain stay in a regular thump. Flash of voices came back into my head, screaming to one and another. Just after I felt a little bit of comfort, this pains came again just because of him. Why?!

 

I took a step back, walking aimlessly, as far as I could from him. The people in the room grew alarmed and approaching me in instant. Sehun’s arm caught me from falling.

 

A firm touch grab my wrist, yanked me away from Sehun’s arm to another familiar arms. Wrapped me inside his chest. My forehead touched his bare neck, burning my skins. My hands collied with his, all of the skins where in contact with him burning. Demanding me for more touch. More contact. However, the pain inside me head also arise like a blazing fire. Hurting me like hell.

 

I gather all the my strength to break free from his grasp. A crestfallen face of Kai filled my vision. I took a few steps back from his position. Hoping he wouldn’t come nearer. My mind mumbled words, as the pain subside while my body grew further from him.

 

“Please…stay away….” The faint voice of mine echoed to all the people inside. An unbelievable expressions spreading all over Kai’s face. Mixed with shocked, sad, and anger in it. His body froze where he stand. The tensions in the room thickened. Surprised face pictured in my eyes.

 

As the pain vanished, I brought my feet again to the door, but a hand stopped me again.

 

“Wait, where are you going?” Those frost white bangs tucked out from the gap of his cap. Those blue pastel baseball cap being put backwards on Sehun’s head. My eyes instantly softened by his words. By everything, his presence, his aura, his worried face. Everything. The whole of him soothing me. Just like Luhan. But with bigger effect.

 

“I have to go home. I haven’t feed my cats since yesterday.” I replied him. All of them was speechless for a second. But the covered it a flash moment after that, seeing how serious I looked.

 

“I’ll come with you.” Kai suddenly popped up next to me, I flinched again with pain in my head and jerked back in instant. I shook my head answering him, stepping back again as far as I could. I bumped into someone’s chest in impact.

 

“Easy girl..” A playful voice rang in my ears, my head instantly turned around, just to see a tall guy with a cheeky grin in his face. Steadying my body as he hold my shoulders.

 

“Hands. Off. Chanyeol.” A low menacing voice crept into me. The guy’s hands instantly away from my shoulders.

 

“Sorry.” He replied silently. Chanyeol.

 

“Cut it out Kai. Sehun, go with Sekyung.” The familiar voice demanded to Kai and Sehun. My ears knew its Luhan’s. Sehun nodded in agreement. I walked to Sehun with uncertainity. I closed my eyes, praying that Kai wouldn’t come near me again.

 

“STO-“ Kai’s voice stopped mid-sentence, as he felt a tight grip around his arms and feet. He was unable to move. Even just an inch. His eyes rounded, furious, searching for Luhan’s eyes. The anger inside him subside when he met Luhan’s gaze.

 

Enough. Just this once. Those words just ringed inside Kai’s head. As if Luhan talked to him. But he wasn’t. it was just Luhan’s stare told everything. Kai fell silent, unable to say a thing. Solemnly looking straight into my confused, pleading gaze.

 

“Let’s go.” Sehun tugged my hand, brought me to the outside. I nodded to him.

 

With the last step, I took a secret peek to Kai, my eyes met his blue gaze. As if it’s whispering into me, with a soft sorrowful voice,

 

Please, don’t go.

 

I took the bus with Sehun trailing behind me. The walk to the bus station had been so silent. So did the bus ride. Just like in a cemetery. I sealed my mouth even though there’s a lot of things I wanted to say. Because I knew, he still looked at me as Yejin. Not as myself. And that’s somehow aching me.

 

“Noona- I mean, um, what’s your name?” He all of sudden started the conversation. Didn’t surprise the memories inside me but indeed surprise me. Myself. But I won’t let my cool down.

 

“Shim Sekyung.” I replied him curtly. Focusing my gaze on the running road outside.

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself properly enough. I’m Oh Sehun.” He chided in a approachable tone. Clearly not hearing –or not caring- the end-of-discussion- tone I gave to him.

 

“I know.” His eyes rounded in surprise.

 

“You remember me??” He asked, slightly happy. Well, scratch that, Really happy. I hummed in reply.

 

“It’s..complicated. But yes, I remember you.” I replied him in mild tone. It’s ticking me why my own self suddenly put its defences higher around him. His whole self just kept bugging my emotions. Those rounded eyes turned into a twinkling crecent moon. Radiating a relieved feeling and happiness behind it. Rising my uneasiness and happiness in the same time.

 

The bus speaker cut his upcoming words, vanishing all the chances for his next words to enter my ears. I swiftly got up and rushed outside. Trying to forget the clueless figure that kept following me behind.

 

The walk from the bus station to my apartement was took some time. And in that moments, Sehun never stop bugging me with thousands questions. About this, about that, do you remember this, do you remember that, everything, that related to her. Yejin. Irked me much. I didn’t reply any single of that. Even though I knew all the answers.

 

I halted when my feet stopped in front of the front door. Turn around and bursted out my patience on him.

 

“Could you please stop? I’m not Sujin okay!” Those words escaped my mouth just like a speeding waterflow. Anger boiled inside me, didn’t know how those feelings came into myself. What am I agry for? Why am I angry? My mind pondered. Sehun’s surprised face pictured clearly in front of me. Guilty feeling started to creep inside my heart.

 

“I-I’m so-“

 

“No, I’m sorry. I’m at fault. I shouldn’t treat you like that. I’m sorry.” Sehun stopped my apology, replaced it with his own. He flashed a guilty smile. Making me don’t know what to reply. I just nodded my head once. I continued open the door, and two cats jumped into me in an instant.

 

“W-whoa! Easy guys!” I hugged Suho which just jumped from the sofa into my arms, meanwhile Kris kept caressing its body around my legs. I was oblivious with Sehun’s adoring expression.

 

“C’mon Kris, Suho, I’ll get you food.” I put down Suho and strolled into the kitchen. Suho walked in front of me while Kris tailing behind.

 

 

“Wait! Their names are Suho and Kris?!” Sehun suddenly asked as I poured Whiskas cereals into their food plate. Those two kitties instantly busy with their own food.

 

“Yes. This one is Kris and this one is Suho.” I pointed both of them proudly.

 

“Pfftttt! Wait until the hyungs hear about this…” He mumbled to himself but my ears still managed to catch it.

 

“Pardon?” I asked him, with a slight annoyed yet amused tone. His laughing face was just so contagious. A smile started to spread on my face.

 

“No no it’s just…” He finished his amused laugh and stared at me. I looked back at him waiting for his next words with anticipation.

 

“Ah, right. I bet you haven’t remembered them.They’re also one of the family.” I nodded as mumbling ‘aah..kerokuna’

 

“Well, they’re technically the leaders in the house. Even though sometimes they’re acting far more childish than me.” He laughed by his own statement. Bringing me along with his laugh, I laughed heartily with him.

 

“Wait until they hear about that….” I said with a mischievous tone.

 

“Yaaah don’t do that…” He whined, perfectly like a little kid. Another amused laugh escaped from my mouth.

 

“Arasso arasso…I’m just joking.” I reassured him, as my laugh subsided. He gave me a chuckle.

 

“Ck…I though it was for real..” He gave an annoyed look. But it vanished as its replaced with a cheeky cute grin. I smiled back to him. A habit of mine with my mom suddenly came up into my mind. I gave him my index finger.

 

“I’m sorry, forgive me?” I didn’t know what was gotten into my mind, but my hands just moving by itself, offering him a finger-locking gesture. I’m not even that close to him. Yet .

 

He was surprised by my gesture, but then he smiled and welcoming my finger in delight, brought his index finger crossed and locked with mine. Just like a pinky promise, but this one with an index fingers.

 

“Apology accepted.” He ansewered with a sweet warm smile radiating from him. I stared at his face in awe. My heart drummed faster as our skins met with each other. A sudden flash of pictures came back into my mind.

 

“Noona, I’m sorrrryyyy, I was asleep last night when you were telling about your new painting. Forgive me, eoh?” Sehun’s face bobbled to the left and right. With feet still following her pace in this high-grassy land. Green vast tares spreading all over the hills. Her hair, Sujin’s pitch black hair flowed beautifully as the gust of wind blowing around her. She was still ignoring Sehun’s plea, even though she didn’t mad at him at all in the first place. Well, maybe just a lil bit.

 

 

She seated herself when she arrived at the empty vast field. So did Sehun. He automatically sat in front of her. Pleading eyes, almost like a puppy.

 

“Noonaaaaa” She just looked at him with a poker face. Enjoying his puppy face a little bit longer.

 

“I’m sorry…please forgive me?” He gave her his index finger, the only secret gesture that only both of them knew. Whenever it involves about promises, apologies, or secrets, they’ll do that. Index fingers-locking.

 

A smile bloomed into her face gradually. With this gesture, there’s no way she would refuse. Plus those pleading face.

 

“Haaah…arassooo…apology accepted..” She replied with disinterest, travelling her eyes to the surrounding, as she gave him her index finger. Sehun locked their fingers in a swift movement. A cheeky grin apperead on his face, happy because his beloved noona finally forgive him. Sujin glanced at him, with those face, all her pretending walls broke down, sweet laugh instantly came out from . Sehun laughed along with her too. Both of them surrounded by a gentle blissful aura.

 

I blinked two times as my mind came back to the reality. Sehun’s questioning yet amused face filled my vision. My eyes shifted into our linked fingers. I swallowed a gulp of saliva by the sight. A weird feelings creept into my stomach, streaming trough my lungs and ended up in my pounding heart. Even my mind couldn’t define this feelings.

 

“Thank you for the tea. I guess, I’ll be heading first now.” Sehun spoke with hands still lingered around the tea cup. I nodded, then accompany him to the door. He walked slowly, with a reluctantly movement. As if waiting me to prevent him to go. You wish flower boy.

 

He was stopped right on the doorframe. Blocking the entrance.

 

“Sekyung-ah, how about you live at our house? By the way, I can call you that right?” He suddenly offered an option. I was confused and halted at the same time. Confused who is “our” and surprised by the way he was calling me. But in the next second, I instantly understand who he was referring to. I nodded to his second question.

 

“REALLY?! YOU’LL LIVE WITH US?!!” He shrieked in delight.

 

“What?! No! I mean, you can call me Sekyung. We’re in the same age after all. Not that I agreed with your first question.” I chided instantly. His shoulders deflated in disappointment.

 

“Oooh…arasso..” He replied silently. A visible frown could be seen on his face. He must be really disappointed. I started to feel uneasy, making him feeling like that. But I just couldn’t do that. Living with 12 boys men.

 

He looked up, meeting my gaze. Showing me his killer pleading face. Still unmoved from his position. I wanted to shift my gaze but his eyes just wouldn’t let me. I gulped secretly. How I hated his towering height right now. Or else I could just walked past him.

 

I took a deep breath. Haaaah…..fiuuuh…

“Look, Sehun. I know you miss m-HER. But I just need some time alone okay? There’s so much to take in, with-with..all of this….. I need to cool myself down, I have to. Can you do that for me?” I spoke to him softly, while messaging my temple. My eyes caugh his face, which gradually became softer. With a small, understanding smile appeared afterwards.

 

“Arasso.” He nodded obediently like a little child. I sighed in relieved. Thanks god he’s understanding.

 

“And oh, can you do me a favor?” I said again, as his face titled in confusion.

 

“Can you tell the others that I already remember you, Luhan, and Zitao?” I pleaded with hoping eyes. To be honest, I just kind of afraid..revealing to them by myself. Especially to…Kai. Not that their presence were terrifiying or what, but- the reactions after that were the one I afraid of.

 

“Aaah about that. No problem.” He gave me an ok sign. I smiled thankfully.

 

“But, how about the others? If you don’t meet them, how do you suppose to remember them?” He suddenly asked. Oh right. I mentally slapped myself for not remembering that point.

 

“Just…give me a few days okay? Then I’ll…………I’ll……visit you again…” I hope I didn’t make a wrong decision…. My mind prayed. My teeth biting my lower lips in nervousness.

 

“But how long??” He asked again impatiently. His face turned demanding again, mixed with pleas. Uh-oh. There’s no way I could escape from this one. I looked around, fell in a deep thought. Cogitating the pro and contra. Seeking the best number.

 

“I’ll visit you again in…two weeks.” I finally replied.

 

“What?! NO! That’s too long!” He shrieked in disagreement. I sighed.

 

“Okay then, in twelve days.” I gave him another option.

 

“Still too long!” He whined childishly. Be patient Sekyung….fiuhhh…

 

“Okay, ten days.” Another option.

 

“A week. Final. No buts!” He suddenly butted in. Whaaaaat?? I stared at him ridiculously. Now he’s ordering me around??

 

“But-“

 

“I said no buts! Okay then I gotta go! BYEEEEEEEEE!!!” Sehun pinched my cheek. And before I could reply him, he was already marched further to the gate. As his hands waved happily to me. Flashing a happy grin. Ugh. I scowled in my mind. There’s no way I could refuse that… I sighed, then smiled back while replying his wave.

 

Same old same Sehun. I chuckled in my mind, then walked back into the house in somewhat a nice mood.

 

“Where have you been?” A deep voice greeted Sehun right when his foot arrived at the main door. Sehun looked up as he put off his shoes. Figure of Kai’s standing in front of him with crossed hands. Sehun didn’t really pay attention to him as he walked to the dining table grabbing a sandwich. Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s eyes were trailing him from the living room.

 

“I was at Sekyung’s apartement.” He replied him nonchalantly. Munching his sandwich. Suho and Tao came out from their room, hearing Sehun’s voice.

 

“Sekyung who?” Xiumin’s voice chimed as he and Jongdae came out from their room too.

 

“Maybe his girlfriend.” Jongdae chided carelessly. Just to get a furious growl from Kai. Well he seemed didn’t really notice it though.

 

“You call her Sekyung?” Suho asked confusedly. Tao nodded with his question. Sehun looked back to them and nodded.

 

“Mh-Yeah. Why?” He asked back with mouth full of smoked beef. A tip of mayonnaise trickled on the corner of his lips. But Sehun swiftly it before it dripped further. He took another bite as he wait for Suho’s reply while pouring extra ketchup on the last bite of his sandwich.

 

“I thought you always called her noona?” Tao suddenly joined the question and answer session. Sehun put the last bite and dusted his palms before replying confusedly.

 

“Why should I? She’s in same of age of me. It’s not that she’s Yejin anyways.” He replied curtly to them. Then walked upstairs to his room. Oblivious with the baffled looks from his hyungs.

 

And he also didn’t know, that his words slapped Jongin really hard.

 

Ok im back after trillion years, it's 2019 already people I bet y'all already forget me lol. enjoy the chapter. ^^