Dancing people bumped into her on every side, it felt like there was no room to breathe. The room felt like it was closing in on her. She started hyperventilating, she held her head in her hands in fear that her brain would fall out of her head if she didn’t. She started pushing through the crowd looking for a way out. It felt like something was chasing her and she needed to escape before it caught her.

After a while of rushing around almost aimlessly, she found herself in an alleyway right outside of the club. The nearby dumpsters smelled sour but cool air made her feel a little better.

She leaned against the wall and slid down. She placed her head in her hands and sighed.

“!” She yelled out and slapped the floor. Her hand stung but she was glad to feel something other than this pain inside of her.

Why was she so bad at being a decent person?

She thought of Krystal and felt bad. Bad for hurting her, bad for betraying Wheein even though they weren’t together anymore. Bad for being here at all.

She didn’t want to feel bad anymore, she didn’t want to always have to get high to feel something.

She pulled out her phone. 3:39AM, no messages from Wheein. One from Yongsun that said [Btw, you owe me $40 for the weed, I’ll add it to ur tab. Thx Byul.]

ing Yongsun.

She opened up the phone app on her phone and scrolled down to “W”. Was she awake? If she was would she even answer? Wasn’t this exactly what Yongsun told her not to do?

Well, like she had just said, Yongsun.

And she missed Wheein so ing much. She was already acting brash and reckless, why not go all the way tonight? Honestly, could this night get any worse?

Byulyi pressed call and listened to the rings, getting nervous and breathing heavily.

The phone kept ringing and Byulyi was afraid that Wheein wouldn’t pick up but she hear a “Hello?” on the other side.

“Wheein..” She said breathlessly, she hadn’t heard Wheein’s voice in a while.

“Byulyi…? What the ? It’s 3 in the morning why the hell are you calling me?”

Byulyi deflated, “I-I just… Wheein I’m so sorry.” Byulyi started sobbing, “I miss you so much. I’m so sorry I hurt you! I-I’m an idiot and I messed up, baby, But I promise I can and will change for you.” Byulyi managed to choke out through her sobs, “I need you, Wheein. I’m so in love with you.”

It was silent for a minute save for Byulyi’s sniffles. Finally, Wheein’s voice came through the reciever, “Why do you only call me when you’re high, Byulyi?”

“I just-”

“No!” Wheein yelled and Byulyi could hear the anger in her voice, “I want a real answer, Byulyi. And not one of your ty, self-depreciating excuses.”

“I don’t… I don’t have the courage to do it when I’m sober.”

Wheein scoffed, “What did I just say about your ty excuses!? Don’t you think it ing for me that you only call me at 3AM when you’re ing high?” Wheein’s voice cracked, she was starting to cry, “Don’t you think it ing hurts that that's the only time you want to talk to me?”

Byulyi started sobbing again, “Wheein, baby, I-I never meant to hurt you…”

“It doesn’t matter whether or not you meant it, Byulyi! It matters that it happened.”

Byulyi couldn’t think of anything to say and could only cry silently on the floor of the alley.

Wheein’s voice came in, softer this time, “You don’t think I love you too? You don’t…” Wheein was sobbing now too, “You don’t think I want you here in bed next to me? You don’t think I want to be with you? The real you, not the you I’m talking to right now.” Byulyi heard Wheein take a few calming breaths, “I’m in love with the Moon Byulyi who would take me out dancing. The Moon Byulyi who would give me gifts that reminded her of me. The Moon Byulyi that would cuddle with me on the sofa while we watched a movie together. The Moon Byulyi who always made me laugh and smile and happy.” Wheein let out a sob before yelling out, “The Moon Byulyi who remembered my birthday!”

Byulyi was sobbing hard again but Wheein cried out, “No! You don’t get to cry! You’re not the one who was stood up at a restaurant on our anniversary. You broke my ing heart, Byulyi. Go yourself.”

The reciever went silent, Wheein had hung up. Byulyi dropped her phone on the ground and cried until no more tears would come out.