" Hello, my name is Kang Soyeon. Today I will be singing Letting Go by Day6." I say in formal Korean to the judge about 10 feet away from me. I open my mouth to sing, and... I just start singing. Honestly I was very nervous before I started singing but I'm relaxed. I didn't even think about how I sang and what came out of my mouth, I just did it like air gliding out of a very tight place. After I sung the last part of the song I bowed. I felt like the pressure that was built was released, and it felt good. This is how I always feel after singing, but it never gets old, it's still a very special moment because I feel renewed and fresh like spring. 

The other people in my group sing their little part as I look at the black converse on my feet while fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. After a while  I hear my number being called by the judge.

"159. Stay back while everyone else can leave." The other people who auditioned leave giving me a quick glace. Probably to see if I'm pretty because the judge wants me to stay back. They all end up leaving which just leaves me, the camera man, and the judge alone in the room. 

"Go outside and tell the other group to wait in the hallway for a moment." The judge tells the camera man while she looks down at a paper infront of her. She looks like she's in her 40s, her face is a good 3 shades lighter than the rest of her body, her nose is very tall, and has a slim face with the typical Korean makeup making her already large eyes large. This makes me think... does SME also make their staff get plastic surgery? I'm not against people getting procedures done, but I think it is important for people to naturally find themselves beautiful rather than fixing their flaws because in the end no one will trulyy be satisfied with how they look unless they find confidence. I quickly snap out of my thoughts when the camera man comes back in, he makes his way to the large camera on the left corner next to a long banner showing all of SME's artists. My eyes follow through the beautiful faces until I see Kai and the rest of the Exo members. A smile creeps up my face. It's amazing how someone I've never met nor talked to can make me happy instantly. 

"Kang Soyeon is your name?" The judge asks me.

"Yes." I say with a bright smile.

"So why have decided to audition today?"

"It's been my dream to become an idol since I was young and thought perhaps it would be great to train and hopefully debut under a company like SME."

"Ah... So how are your dance skills?"

"My dancing is quite average honestly, but I have a very hard working personality so I have faith that I can learn." I said with confidence.

"I will play some random music, can you try your best to freestyle to it for me so I can see if you have potential in the dancing field because as you know a lot of our arists are required to dance, so it is very important that you're at a certain level so if you become a trainee we can put you in a class you can learn in." She says in a quite stern way. What do I do? I've never really tried dancing... well I mean I've learned a couple of dances but freestyle seems dificult. "Yes ma'am." I gulp not ready for this challenge. Wow, I should've practiced before I came, I'm truly an idiot.

Some slow song starts playing. It's not a song I am familar with, but first I start to try and pick up the beat to see exactly how to move to this song. I start moving my hips from side to side and just dance I guess. I didn't pay much to what I was doing because I'm probably embarassing mself infront of the judge and this camera man. The music turns off and I'm panting completely out of energy from dancing for only like 30 seconds. This makes me think, I'm I really capable of becoming a trainee who trains for hours a day plus attends school when I can't even dance for 30 seconds? 

"Alright... thank you for your audition. If we are interested in you we will either email you or call you so please check your email and phone for the next two weeks."

"Thank you so much, have a great day ma'am" I say as politley as possible. I walk out of the room and follow a hallway hoping to send me to the exit of the building but nope, no exit. I find another hallway and follow down that but of course at the end of it there were two other hallways. One on the left and on the right.

"Damn Soyeon, you're lost." I whisper to myself. After thinking which hallway I should take I decide to chose the right because right is always right, right? I chuckle at myself because how incredibly stupid that pun was.

As I walked through this hallway I noticed a lot of doors. I at least saw four on each side. Being the curious little I am I decided to look into one, but I found something that is quite familar to my eyes. The wallpaper was the classic blue sky with clouds wallpaper I've seen in so many dance practice videos. What if this is the room Exo filmed one of their dance practice videos in? It looks similar considering the set up is the same as the one saw in Exo Showtime. 

"Stop being delusional and just find the exit." I whipser to myself. I swear I talk to myself too much. After being starstruck for a couple seconds I continued walking down the hallway. I wonder if there are any  SME artists here, should I try and look for some? But that would means I would be invading their privacy, unless I just admire them from a far right? As I walk through the hall I look very casually through the little windows of the doors that make my "casual" looking not so casual. Most of the rooms lights are turned off, but I find one room with the lights clearly on. I look around to see if anyone is in the hall, then look directly into the window of the room to see people! I see people! But what if they see me peeking from the mirror? I lower my head at that thought and become very cautious of getting caught stalking these people. As I look closely I see familar faces in this room. Kai! I see Kai with Krystal, Taemin, two other females, and another male. I wonder why they're here altogether, and why is Kai with Krystal? They're awfully close to one another and it makes me somewhat jealous because I've been such a fan of Kai for so long and he's being very close with another girl who is obviously much more beautitul than me. What if they're dating? No Soyeon, they're probably just friends. It seems like the group of friends are just hanging out in a practice room, but I'm still so shocked I am seeing Kai in person, like he is literally about 15 feet away from me, which just makes it simple to see his perfect bare face with no ounce of makeup. His sharp features are more admirable natural, his sunkissed skin looks like pure perfection with his dark messy hair and his simple all black outfit. He's so beautiful it hurts that I can't get any closer to him.

"Excuse me..." I hear a male voice behind me. I quickly get up from crouching down infront of the little window to standing stiff straight with my back against the wall. "What are you doing?" I slowly look up, but as I look up the person speaking I see he's wearing black Nike Air Fource 1s, light wash jeans with little rips worn on a pair of very long thin legs, and a plain v neck black shirt with a pocket on the left chest drapped across his lean body. And then I get to his face seeing... Sehun. His light brown hair is parted perfectly in the middle and I see a little bit of stuble above the cupidsbow and the chin. His eyes look swollen and smaller than in pictures, but it still looks like perfection. His nose is very tall and stands picture-perfectly in the center of his small face which complement each other. Hell, everything on his face complements everything. 

"Oh, I'm lost. I auditioned and couldn't find the exit. I-I'm not a sasaeng, I'm just a normal fan. I'm sorry." I say without breathing inbetween the words.

"Are you sure? You know you;re not supposed to be here and you're completly far from the exit. This situation makes me think you were lying to me and your here to stalk the idols here." A very disapointed look is shown across Sehun's face which makes me frown because I wasn't lying.

"I promise that's not it. I was trying to find the exit but got lost and saw Kai in this room and wanted to peek a bit." I say embarassed.

"So... how long were you here stalking my group member and his friends?" 

"Not long, and I wasn't even stalking them."

"Then what exactly is is called when a fan is looking through a window to see one of her favorite idols while they're peacefully spending time with their friends without knowing there were eyes on them? Come on, enlighten me please."

"I don't really know." I want to cry. How can someone I've spent so much time loving turn out to be a dreadfully rude human being? "I'll leave, but please tell me how to get out of here."

"Go down this hall and go straight. After passing about three doors there should be another door on the left. Go through that door and it will lead you to the lobby of the building, possibly where you entered."

"Thank you." I say looking down at my shoes. Sehun gently rests  my chin inbetween his thumb and his index finger and lefts my head slowly so my eyes and his can meet. 

"Don't you dare stalk us idols anymore. You don't know how annoying it is." He says very quietly and just walks into the room Kai is in. 

How humiliating is this, I was caught "stalking" Kai by Sehun who was being indelicate about it. As I think about how cold Sehun is I follow his directions on how the hell to get the out of here. A couple tears escaped from my eyes because of how the end of this day turned out to be. One minute I was happy that the judge kept me behind out of interest in me but the next minute I am being scolded at by a boy I loved through my phone screen. 

Sehun's directions evenutally led me to the lobby. I push the double doors to get out of the building sigh. I really want to get this out of my head so I decide to take the long way to the apartment and walk out my feelings. After walking for a couple minutes I notice something is missing, music. I take my earphones out of my bookbag and plug them into my phone then my ears. My walk home was long but refreshing.