LEWD MELODY

Author: sunflowerpots and Aphrodite7

Reviewed By: Meleodiseu

TITLE: (4/5)

I can confidently say that I have never seen another title like this. It ties in quite nicely with your foreword, but not too much with your plot from what I could see. From my experience with reading stories that are mature, your title is pretty eye-catching as it isn't a clichéd choice.

FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION: (7/10)

When reading the description it was easy to tell that Yifan was going to sleep with Yifan one way or the other and that it would end up with him regretting it. With that said, it /does/ capture a reader's interest, making them want to see how Tao “falls”.

PLOT: (20/25)

Starting off, I would add the historical!au tag as it takes place in 1900's London. I liked this plot because while it does follow a formula that I have seen before (nobility and cheating), you made it you're own and therefore, it's not terribly clichéd. The one main problem with this though was this line: “As both were in bliss, Yifan breathed, "I love you, Zitao. I love you so much." Even with only a span of days, he couldn't help but feel that way about Zitao. The moment he felt it, he pictured Zitao as his sonata; a beautiful and captivating music to his ears. He thought the man was a composition made only for him to play.” I don't know why, but it always bugs me when one of the characters falls in love after a few days. Like. Not only is it clichéd, but also slightly ridiculous. You wouldn't tell someone you just met and did the do with that you love them, would you?

The setting is a little confusing as it moves quickly. One moment, he was in his room and then the next he was in the dining room with little to no explanation as to how he got there. The characters' actions also were sometimes misplaced, like Ren leaving suddenly despite really having no motivation to. You would think that he'd be excited for his brother that his husband was coming back, but he wasn't. He was nonchalant.

FLOW: (3/5)

As mentioned above, the pacing of your story is fast. It didn't feel rushed, but it definitely felt as though there was something missing from each “scene”. It isn't too big of a problem so it is technically /fine/ if left as is, but it wouldn't hurt to add some detail.

GRAMMAR: (25/30)

Reading through it the first time, I couldn't find anything wrong. The second to third time, I noticed that some of the sentences wer