MODERN CINDERELLA

AUTHOR: Sandyliuyr

REVIEWED BY: Meleodiseu

TITLE: (3.5/5)

Your  title does connect to the description well, however, points were taken off due to the fact that there are a lot of stories named like this. If I were to scroll by it, I would pass over it because most people would assume it followed the same plot of the others.

FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION: (6/10)

You got most of the points here because your description does well to keep the plot hidden and reveals just enough to make people want to read more. I also like the tie-in to the actual story of Cinderella in the description and how you turned that story and made it your own.

PLOT: (15/25)

The plot isn't as clichéd as the title would suggest, but reading through it I don't understand how it connects to the plot other than the evil stepmother, step siblings, and stepfather; most of whom we don't see very much and we haven't even met the stepfather. The first chapter was the only one that I saw that conveyed she was like a modern Cinderella, but that was it. I wouldn't necessarily say the plot is confusing, but it is following a very curvy line. Each chapter takes place in a different place and that in itself isn't bad, but the change is so abrupt. How did they get there? Instead of skipping to when they get there, take your time and show the journey. It seems difficult at first but it gets easier.

In the second chapter when she's going to the warehouse in Paris, if she thought she was being kidnapped, then why didn't she try to escape the cab or make a run for it when the driver pulled up to the warehouse?

Add blockb and mamamoo tag

FLOW: (2.5/5)

The pacing of this story is extremely fast. While that's not a bad thing, I was reading chapters in five minutes. It's okay to take your time and detail out actions and the scenery of a place. In chapter two, you said: 'Wow. It's like my dream room. Creamy white and sky blue colors filled the room.' But why was it her dream room? What exactly made it that way other than the colours? There are many instances of reading this story and I wanted more to read so I could get a good mental image or to see the characters thought process.

1. 'I can't let my father's hardwork go down the drain' I know that she loves her father dearly, but she stated that she wasn't ready to get married. So why would she agree so easily? I would add her thoughts on the pros and cons of accepting the terms of marriage or letting her father's business go to the government.

2. 'There were no one at home. I can pack my things in peace. No stupid orders. No annoying people. Just me.' followed by '”Where are you going?” I continue to walk to the door..” I thought there was no one at home? Did they come back when she was packing?  

3. I don't know why, but when a story switches POV suddenly in a story it bugs me. Most of the time it's unnecessary and I felt that it was during the beginning of chapter three. I don't know if you got tired of writing first person,