(2145w)

When he opens his eyes, he is on his bed and resting. How he got there, he doesn’t know nor remember, and although he wants to ask s about it, he stops himself. He feels like he’s not up for any interaction with anyone right now.

Just then, someone opens the door to his room and as soon as he hears the door close, footsteps near his bed and a voice speaks to him.

“Doyoung-ah, are you feeling better now? Jae brought you back home yesterday and you were looking so pale and so sick that we kinda felt bad of letting you stay to practice more,” It was Hansol.

He coughs. “No, hyung, do not feel bad. I just…” Just wanted to not be and see Jaehyun, that’s what, “I promise I already felt better yesterday when I went to rehearse, I think I overdid it, that’s why I was so tired.”

“Dude, you were trembling when you were brought home last night. Jae said that he just saw that you were trembling and he thought it best to head home. He reminded me to check up on you before him and Taeil left earlier,” the older explains, “The sight of you yesterday gave us a shock. I think you should just stay home tonight.”

“But-“

“No buts. Yes, practicing is important, more likely now that our Rookies show is coming up, but we need you healthy on that day and your state right now is not helping us get to that point,” the other cuts him with authority.

“I need to-“

“I’ve already talked with Taeil and Taeyong about this. Of course the other members, too. They all agree,” Hansol once again stops him, “There’s food on the table, eat it once your phone goes off telling you to. Your meds are beside the food, Yuta said that it has to be taken every 6 hours so note the time that you drink. We’ll check up on you as soon as we can and you should just do your best to rest to be better for tomorrow.”

“Do I even have a say on this situation?” He then asks sarcastically, a little bit thankful for the time given to him to rest, and be away from someone.

“Now, now, we do not need those kinds of tones here,” He hears the elder answer with a smile, “Trust me when I say that this is really what you need.”

Hansol sounds so sure that he wants to ask him if Jaehyun told him anything else… but he doesn’t.

“Sure, hyung. You’ve proven much how this is a great thing for me,” He answers instead, “Take care. I hope rehearsals won’t be too tiring for you guys, and I’ll see you all when you go home later.”

“Okay, ‘saeng,” A hand messes his hair, “Rest.”

The door to the room is once again opened and closed. It is after a few seconds have passed that Doyoung felt the silence creep up on him and that is when he decided to hop off from bed and do everything Hansol told him to do.

Reaching the dining room, he sees the food served with a note that says Eat this and get well – Your Best Taeyong Hyung and his lips smile without reluctance. He guesses staying at home is the best thing he could do right now.

He eats the chicken stew cooked for him and drinks the medicine bought for him and he uncannily felt sated from having s spoil him.

His day went on from watching television to trying to practice his solo piece and other songs to taking a bath and once again claiming his spot on the sofa in the living room. It was not so soon after that the members one by one arrived in their dorms and greeted him and asked him about his health.

I feel better, great, actually is what he answers to all who ask him, meaning the words now more than yesterday. He was smiling at something Yuta was saying when two people appear and were laughing, or like saying that those people were known as Jaehyun and Taeil. Taeil hyung must have said something so humorous for Jaehyun to show his eye-smile. What does he care about that, though? Why should he even…

“Hey,” Yuta taps him on his shoulder, “Are you listening?”

“I’m sorry,” He scratches his head, “My phone says it’s time for me to drink my meds, that’s why I lost focus.”

“Ah, is that so?” Another question, but now it is laced with something unknown, or unknown to Doyoung, “Well, then you should drink the meds I bought you. Hopefully you’ll get to come with us tomorrow.”

He doesn’t say anything and stands up to head for the kitchen and drink what he needs. He passes by the two people who caught his attention a while ago and he hears a laugh and a voice that says That’s why I love you hyung before seeing a taller person hug a smaller one.

He strangely felt alienated. It’s not like he was always with Jaehyun, they had a lot of members, of course he had others whom he was close to, but seeing the same actions usually directed at him to be done to another person felt… amiss.

Shaking his head, he continues his stride to his medicine and water, and as soon as he chugs it down, he head to his room and prays for a good night sleep.

As he closes his eyes, visions of cute eye-smiles placed above a straight nose and a smile that reveals deep dimples, cloud not only his eyes but his whole being.

Unbidden, he doesn’t sleep well that night.

When he opened his eyes the day after, the thought of wanting to wake up so badly drifted to his mind, must be because of the uninvited visions he had the night before.

Continuing, the next days of practice were spent with the best duo between all the trainees avoiding each other, or Doyoung doing his very best to avoid Jaehyun. It was peculiar that the members weren’t butting in but he chose not to brood too much on the subject. He was already doing well in evading himself from the younger and he won’t risk his mission to fail.

He notices even the small things, though. He sees that replacing his usual spot beside Jaehyun is now their eldest hyung, Taeil. He never realized nor given much meaning to their hyung’s presence whenever the younger was concerned, but seeing now that he wasn’t able to share in whatever they had made him feel left out and sulk a little bit more than he should have.

Since the day they fought, the day he confessed his feelings, the beginning of Jaehyun and Taeil hyung’s moments happened. His outmost efforts to control his feelings were exerted then. He forced himself to think of other things other than the two and he had already acclaimed to himself that they don’t look good together anyway. Unlike us. Oh wait. There isn’t any ‘us’.

Again, deeply breathing, he prays that he gets to sleep soundly for the night.

He bids himself a good night.

-

The next day, he wakes up peacefully, maybe because of a nice dream, he doesn’t remember, and readies for the day ahead.

Since the sun has risen, he can finally go practice and although he had a good rest the day before, rehearsing is something he’ll invariably look for. He recalls seeing Taeil and Jaehyun eating breakfast together before he went out the door but he dismissed the thought and planned to start his day early.

Dancing was not something he was good at and being as tall as he was at the moment was definitely not helping him to have a better image when he moves his limbs. He devotes himself to memorizing every move, though, he needs to. He needs to show people that this is him and this is what he loves to do.

One by one, the other members march into the room and they practice their line-up together, feeling more nervous and excited that the date is nearing and they could finally show to more people what they are capable of.

Doyoung notices every encounter between Taeil and Jaehyun, though, despite all his recent batter. He swears he doesn’t want to but he can’t help but spare a glance to his love- or well, used to be best friend, or whatever they are right now. Odd that every time he peers at the younger, he sees the older at his side, too. These interactions he’s seeing are uncalled for and he chooses once again to pay them no heed and just continue to practice.

Since the three of them, aptly named as Taeil, Doyoung and Jaehyun, have a lot of songs they sing together, he was stuck at feeling better or feeling worse than the past few days. For some reason, a reason he maybe forces himself to not know, Jaehyun isn’t sparing him a glimpse and he actually doesn’t know what to feel about that.

They practice in peace, until a song comes up and suddenly something happens, a stirring in the air and something heavier. He isn’t sure what it is, doesn’t really know where it came from, it’s just that this came along and he suddenly felt choked up and distressed.

It was time to practice their song called 텐데 (Tende) and as the piano started, a certain determination was luring around the room they were all in. The source of that, he doesn’t know.

“It must be a dream, exactly like how I remembered it,” He started with his low voice, trying to build up the needed feelings for the song, “You were right in front of me.”

Yes, that night Jaehyun was still in front of me.

“How weird it is that even after a long time passed,” Jaehyun then comes in, “I still remember that day.”

I bet you do. He then shuts his eyes in an endeavor to fight all the Jaehyun-centric feelings away.

“Even if I close my eyes, my memories bring us back to that place,” Taeil then sings his part, too.

“I need to say this today, (but) I can’t even make a sound,” The chorus part that he starts, “Even if I reach out for you, I can’t (afford) to do what I want.”

“Let’s stop ruminating over it again and again,” Taeil continues, “I can’t seem to see this through, I am not able to send you away. This nightmare, oh no, no, no, these memories are torturing me.”

“No matter how many times it keeps repeating, I enter (once again) into the dream that allows me to meet you,” Jaehyun starts and the oldest joins him to harmonize at the last word. It was a buzz behind his head on how their voices blended together and how it sounded damn well to his hears. He hated the thought that even him is thinking this but he just can’t help it.

“I can’t get out of being in it today,” He comes in slowly again, feelings are now intact and in sync with the song, “Time stills and the memories return (to me).”

“Let us start again; (after) dreaming for so long,” Taeil enters, his voice sounding so powerful and full of emotion, “If this ends here, I will be living in this dream. Oh, yeah.”

“This isn’t the end,” Jaehyun finishes. The song comes to a stop and he notices just how much emotion they have once again used. The song spoke of a lot of things and it was a pity that none of them got the chance to look at each other while singing their lines, well except Taeil and Jaehyun since their voices blended with each other a while ago.

He looks at the mirror in front of them and that’s when he sees it.

Jaehyun’s eyes on him are so intense that he had neither will nor intention to break eye-contact. Here they are again, back to staring at each other, he thought, but he reveled in the connection.

Taeil caught his eye then, but the one staring at him didn’t. They were about to practice their acoustic medley and those piercing eyes were definitely of no help to him. He felt the need to hide and seek for a better resolution from what he and Jaehyun actually have.

He tries to look up, wills his heart to stop its frantic beating and blows up his cheeks to let out some air in hope that his reddening cheeks stop from containing too much heat.

He may have felt something, but he was not definitely expecting what was about to happen.

-

hope y'all enjoy~~ - G