(1155w)

The morning after, Doyoung is startled to find that he has slept in Jaehyun and Mark’s room. Or more likely on Jaehyun’s bed. Beside said man. Oh no, this is definitely not how he wanted to start his day. To make things worse, the younger’s hold on him is too tight that he can’t figure out how in hell he could he escape from its grasp.

“Hyung,” A raspy voice says, Jaehyun’s, and he hugs tighter, “You should still sleep, the others have agreed to make you rest for an hour more and since I’m taking care of you I get to stay, too.”

What? “We should just go, Jae,” He starts, not expecting for his voice to sound rough and tries to wiggle himself out of the embrace, “I don’t want to lose time for practice.”

“But you got yourself sick, hyung, and we can’t have that,” The answer is raptly said, like he already knew that this situation would happen, “I need you healthy for the next few days and I’ll do everything in my power to keep that.”

“I’m not sick, okay?,” Why is he getting this tired this early? “Whatever I felt yesterday has passed already and I don’t want them back and I know that practicing will leave them out of me.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Can we- Can you- Can I just, please, stand up and get ready for rehearsals?,” He might have sounded like he was pleading but he can’t have it any other way. He just wants to get out of the concerning arms.

“I-,” Jaehyun starts, feeling that there was something, something deeper from what his hyung said, then surrendered, “Okay.”

He is released from the hold on him and he stands up and briskly heads for the shower. As he expected, he felt tons better than he did when he was in close proximity with Jaehyun.

He sighs in withdrawal. I don’t know what to do, nor say. God, please help me.

When he finishes, he sees that the younger is ready as well and silently guided him to the car waiting for them down front and no words were exchanged as they headed to their destination.

-

“Hey, hyung!,” Jaemin greets him as soon as he enters the room, “Feeling better?”

He glances at the man behind him, who suddenly turned quiet, “Yeah, I think so.”

“Oh hey, you guys are finally here. Great!,” Taeyong says, “Doyoung-ah, we need to practice your solo.”

“Oh, okay,” He says and heads to the mini-stage in the room, grabbing a water bottle on the way, drinking from it first before holding it in his palm to serve as his microphone.

“What were you singing again?,” Yuta asked.

“”I Hate You” by Jung In sunbae-nim,” He said, feeling that it was the perfect song to sing right now, he needed to let go of the feelings he summoned that morning.

“That’s such a depressing song to sing,” Ten comments.

“Well, I think it will suit his voice,” Hansol pipes in, “Sijak!”

Then the music starts to play. He’s in his comfort zone. Or is he?

“Even after you see me again, you seem indifferent. You must feel very comfortable because you’re such a mature person unlike me,” He slowly starts singing, his thoughts and feelings conjuring up all the unwanted feelings that are all because of Jaehyun.

“Don’t ask me to smile at you. Don’t ask me to forget about you. Don’t care even for my aching heart,” And he suddenly glances at the man causing his complicated feelings, not looking forward to have said man’s eyes on him, holding his eyes on him, and so he sings to him, “I am going to hate you, please let me do even just this. Though I know I may seem stupid now, I hate you madly because you look so intact.”

Jaehyun must have felt a change in the way he was looking at him but he never once broke their eye contact, and so he continued, nearing the of the song, “All those nights we looked at each other anxiously and the dawn our heart pounded with excitement, are they all scattered now? But they’re still alive in me,” He throws the words at the fierce eyes looking at him, not minding if this is about the song or about his thoughts of what him and the younger have.

“They are still stuck deep inside my flesh and my heart,” He is not sure if this is a proclamation of something, but what he’s sure of is that he is dedicating this to Jaehyun, all his questions and doubts compiled in one sorrowful song.

“They can never be erased,” He shouts, finally reaching the peak of the song, he screams all of his emotions out and successfully hits the high note, “Don’t ask me to forget you. Don’t care even for my aching heart. I’m going to hate you, please let me do even just this.”

“Though I may seem stupid now, I hate you madly because you look so intact,” He finishes up, releasing all he had. Because you make my stomach flutter with even your smile, because you make my cheeks blush with just your hold, because you look so casual when I am already burning up inside, because you’re making me fall in love with you and I know that I shouldn’t but I couldn’t stop my heart which is screaming for you.

The last notes of the music come together and bring the show to a close and he loses eye-contact with the younger. He revels in the soothing feeling he seemed to receive once he broke from the intense gazing of their eyes. He breathes in deeply, pushing himself to relax.

During the song, it just so happened that Doyoung had admitted to himself of the feelings that he had for the younger. He felt light-headed. Who knew he could fall in love? Out of a lot of people in the universe, why did it have to be Jung Jaehyun?

Jaehyun then stands up and heads for the door. He heard him mumble the word restroom and left with no other word. He suddenly felt awry.

Why? Why is Jaehyun being his erse self? For hell’s sake, he was just singing.

Well excuse you, Doyoung, but why are you having a monologue with yourself.

The other members must have been looking at him weirdly with the way he was acting, talking to himself, but they held themselves back and continued with the planning and practice for their show.

After a few minutes, that is what he guesses, it’s not like he was keeping track of time, the younger comes back to the room and he notices his somehow swollen eyes. It’s the kind of prominence caused by crying. Was he crying? Why?

He couldn’t concentrate on practice since Jaehyun came back.

-

sorry I've updated just now. there're a lot of things going on with my social life and work so... yeah

check out the youtube video of MoonTaels for Doyoung's "I Hate You". That's where I got the translation for the song. :)

hoping I don't disappoint you guys w/ this.

- G